Risky Business
by Becca2793
Summary: AU. A seventeen year old Allen Walker arrives in New Orleans, Louisiana. While minute differences may keep them at arm's length at times, he and Kanda Yu are surprisingly drawn to each other. Yullen.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

Allen isn't _quite_ sure of whether what he's hearing, right at this moment, is what is actually blaring from the second story window to his immediate right. But, there is just no reason for him to be _imagining _Boston's '_More Than a Feeling'_ coming from that room of all rooms.

It just so happens that Allen Walker, because he has a shitty excuse for a guardian, has to walk to school every day. Even though the bloody man owns a car, he's usually too drunk to drive it.

So he happens to know who that window that belongs to.

And Yu Kanda just doesn't seem like the type that relates to '_More Than a Feeling_.' Or any song at all really, because they generally have this thing called _passion_, which is something that Kanda so clearly lacks in all respects. What's he going to hear next – Chicago, Starship, something equally as eighties and actually decent? He kind of imagined the Japanese boy would listen to something like – heavy metal or something equally as threatening. Because really, where else could the man get his intimidations? He's just so _full_ of them. But he kind of relishes the moment, because when else can he stop on his leisurely walk to hear a great freaking song?

He's really only known the guy for a couple of weeks, since he transferred into the local high school – some magnet school really, because he's a freaking genius and not at all afraid to flaunt it – and only because of this girl Lenalee who's actually pretty cool and is turning out to be, like, a really good friend. Which is cool. Cause she's extremely good looking.

He's only met the anti-social retard like, twice, but he really isn't too keen to meet him again. Firstly, the guy cannot seem to get his name right, and second-

"Beansprout? What the _fuck_ are you doing outside my house?"

Well. That.

"I was actually so surprised that you had, you know, taste, that I went into some kind of shock for a few seconds. Thanks for waking me up."

He's kind of a smartass to the guy; he's a complete gentleman to other people though, really.

"Fuck you."

"That's a lovely vocabulary. Tell me, how was the GED program? Or did you not even have the smarts for one of _those_?"

Then something like a shoe is thrown at his head. It hits him right in the ear.

And it hurts.

"Argh – bloody, freaking – _ow_." He holds his ear and looks up at the smug, long haired man leaning out of his window. He gives him his best glare, which isn't really all that intimidating in the first place, and then continues walking to school.

"I hope you lose your hearing, fucking tea drinking limey," Kanda's mutter is just _barely_ heard as he shuts his window and retreats back into his room.

"I wonder if he even knows what that means," Allen sighs to himself, continuing his trek towards the high school.

* * *

><p>Allen has transferred in from England in the middle of his Junior year, which means he knows absolutely no one. Well, except for Lenalee, but she's a Senior at this other high school he's never heard of. And the only reason he knows her is – well, a kinda long story.<p>

The day he arrived in America, at first actually intrigued by the general truth in stereotypes, he got lost. Horribly. It's not really because New Orleans is a very large city, it's just that there are a lot of streets, and a lot of, well, intimidating people. So he ended up wandering into some area of downtown that was actually decent compared to others. There was an aquarium and a boardwalk and, like, families with children walking around and not _afraid_. So he walked up the long path to the Riverwalk, entered the place, and quickly found that the absolute best smell in the world was coming from a little place down the way.

It's called Café-Du-Monde and he's been to the place like, at least twenty times since that first fateful one. They just have these fantastic little French beignets and awesome coffee. He didn't expect them to be so good, really, since he's been to France and has had actual beignets, but they were surprisingly amazing. He had started off with a dozen, just to see if he liked them; he did, it turns out, and the amount of people working back there (generally…two) just don't have the manpower to feed him all the beignets as fast as he can eat them. The people behind him in line tend to get rather pissed, but – well, this is off the topic.

After he'd just about cleared out the powdery pastries, he walked outside and ended up leaning against the railing and staring at the murky waters of the Mississippi. The water really was disgusting, but the boats were interesting to watch.

The air was kind of chilly, but nothing like England – rather mild compared to it really. It was January and only something like 10 degrees Celsius (no, he is NOT going to use that bloody system American just _has_ to use. Why do they always have to be different and _better_?).

Then he heard this feminine voice bark out an extraordinarily loud laugh and turned around to see who it came from. It was rude, probably, but he was curious to see who could make a noise like that and still be dignified to live as a human being.

As it turned out, the girl with shoulder length green hair and exuberant purple eyes was exceedingly attractive. And that was as good a reason as any to not care whether she laughed loud enough for his friends back in England to hear her.

With her were these two guys, though the one on the right had hair long enough to graze the middle of his back and the one on the left had this earring in his left ear which led him to believe that, well, they were her remarkably gay friends. But hey. Who was he to judge _anyway_?

Then she was rushing out to the outside where he was, and she launched herself onto the binoculars.

"Kanda, give me 50 cents."

"Fuck no."

"Please?"

"Okay," he paused, and she looked hopeful. "Still fuck no." He deadpanned after a moment.

"Well, Lavi?" She turned to the other guy like she had expected nothing less of the asshole, gay friend of hers. Or whatever he was.

The redhead – how did he miss this before? – _only had one eye_. They were certainly a weird bunch.

Not that he was one to talk with his white hair and red scar and black arm.

"Sure, Lenalee," he chuckled. His hair was bright and styled with gel, obviously messy but reigned in from the headband he wore on his head. His only visible eye was green, and sparkled with something as he reached into his pocket and pulled out two American quarters. He was going to have to get used to the monetary system here. It was still so confusing. Where was his pound, or his quid? Nowhere. Nowhere at all.

That was when they all took notice of the strange, slightly creepy, and very obviously foreign boy who was staring at them.

He kind of had it coming that they looked suspicious as all hell.

"Ah, sorry," he offered with a small smile. "I couldn't really help…overhearing…" He'd rubbed his hand to the back of his head, and the one-eyed redhead laughed boisterously before clapping a hand on his back.

"Of course it's no problem, Mate." The guy was quite obviously mimicking his accent. Badly. "I know Yu tends to get loud sometimes, you have'ta excuse the guy. He just gets so excited about things. Especially young teenage boys like yourself!"

"I will seriously murder you one day," the obviously Japanese man growled. Allen didn't hear anything in the guy's voice that sounded remotely like a lie.

That was when he guessed, rightly so, that they two weren't gay lovers. He kind of felt abashed for believing it, but then he didn't – because really, it wasn't like they would ever know.

And that was how they met. But it isn't really how they became…acquaintances.

They became acquaintances like this:

After watching Lenalee as she pressed her face to the binoculars like it was the most interesting thing in the world, the four had walked back inside, relieved at the temperate temperature.

To digress, really, Louisiana has the bloodiest _worst_ weather he's ever seen or heard of. He hasn't felt the legendary heat yet, admittedly, and he really can wait for it, but even in January it's always pouring raining. Apparently Texas is always chalk-full of droughts – why can't Louisiana use some of that Southern Hospitality he's heard so much about and isn't really seeing yet and give Texas some of their rain? Because, yes, it needs to _stop_.

It wasn't raining on that first day, thank the Heavens, but he was still just as grateful to get into the food court again. Then Lenalee actually continued talking to him. Like he was interesting or something.

"So what's your name?" She'd asked, and really, why was she so curious?

"Err, Allen. Allen Walker." He was really smooth in times like these, mainly because of his experience with the opposite sex. Which equaled about…zero.

"Oh my god, he's a spy, Lenalee. I've _seen_ those movies." Lavi eyed him wearily, which was really unnerving because it was only done with one eye.

Allen didn't bother to tell the redhead that James Bond said his last name first, because that would make him a smart ass. And he wasn't a smart ass to people he genuinely liked.

Like these people. Well, Lavi and Lenalee. He was still on the fence about Kanda. The guy was completely ignoring the entire conversation and, well, him. He didn't enjoy being ignored.

And in times where he feels ignored, he tends to transfigure into something decidedly not polite and gentlemanly.

"What about your gay friend there? I thought he had a crush on me. Why's he so moody when he's obviously just met the love of his life?" He pointed at Kanda with his thumb, and Lavi actually doubled over with laughter.

"Oh-oh man I really like you, kid. But s-seriously, just because he wasn't serious about kicking my ass, you should watch out for yours. And not because of his very pedophiliac c-crush."

That was when he kind of felt this prickling on the back of his neck like fear. Because he could just hear Kanda's knuckles cracking behind him.

"It's awesome that you have the balls to insult him, though. A lot of people tend to act like little bitches in front of him." Lavi was wiping his tears away.

Then he felt a very, very hard punch on the back of his head and he kind of stumbled forward and saw stars for a few seconds.

"Oh come on, Kanda. You cannot possibly want to go to jail for beating up a little kid again." Allen could barely hear Lenalee over the pounding in his head. He took a moment to compose himself.

"How old do you think I am?" Allen grumbled, rubbing the back of his head. It hurt. Very much so. "Seriously, I'm not young enough for anyone's love to be pedophiliac, and I'm certainly not a child. I'm seventeen."

"Woah, really?" Lavi leaned forward, surveying his face. "I guess the white hair does make you look a lot older, that's a great fashion statement, by the way – so forward. Anyway, I think it's your girly face that does people in."

"My hair is not white because of a fashion statement, and please don't call my face girly. I mean, I don't have the long, beautiful hair framing mine, so I don't deserve the title."

"Do you want to die?" Kanda growled behind him.

"Seriously? You went to jail for beating up a child? What kind of man beats up a child? You might have a good punch, but you certainly aren't going to kill me-"

Then the man was in front of him, and his hands were on his throat. "I did not kick any child's ass. But I will kick yours."

"You know, Yu, you keep calling that a misunderstanding, but really, that kid in the sandbox was fairly adamant that, you, ya know, kicked him. He also happened to have this boot shaped bruise on his chest. Besides, you were only in juvi for a couple of days. No biggie. It's happened to us all a couple of times. Also, please stop choking the British kid. I've just met him and I really like him, so I don't want him to die."

At this, reluctantly, Kanda removed his hands and brushed them off on his jeans. He gave Allen this smug grin, as if to _gloat_. Like the bloody prick could actually be proud that he almost killed someone.

He ended up getting bruises from that.

"Haven't we established that I'm not a kid?" he choked out. His voice was actually a bit raspy. "How old are you, anyway?"

"Well, Yu and I are twenty –"

"Stop using my first name or I will put my hands on _your_ throat."

"Miss Lenalee's seventeen. By the way, _Yu_, that's really kinky, but that has got to wait until the bedroom tonight."

Kanda let out some strangled yell of rage and stomped away. Allen was really wondering how he even had friends.

"Anyway, Allen Walker," Lenalee picked right up from where the conversation had dropped off. "We've established that you have guts, and that you're British. Why are you _here_?" They were kind of walking aimlessly down the long strip of stores. Or at least he assumed that. He didn't know where in the hell he was going.

"Well, really, I'm not entirely sure. I just go wherever Cross does. He's kind of like my guardian, but he's a pathetic excuse for one, so I consider him more of a…moocher." He sighed. "And I got a scholarship to this place called Benjamin Franklin or something, I don't know I haven't seen it yet, so that kind of sealed the deal. Seriously, Benjamin Franklin. Why?"

"You just don't like him 'cause he kind of helped, you know, separate jolly ol' England from the country that kicked your asses."

"You really think I'm sore about _that_? It happened like, two hundred and fifty years ago." Allen was getting less and less formal as time went on, which tends to happen to him when surrounded by genuinely good people. People who aren't Cross or Kanda or just general strangers on the street.

"Well, two hundred and twenty four, but who's counting?" He flashed Allen a blinding grin and, really, the redhead could be more of a smart ass than him sometimes. "Anyway, Ben Frank? Rocking school, man. You must be pretty smart."

"Obviously not as smart as you."

"I really, really like you. Have I mentioned this yet?"

"Kind of. Where'd you go to high school? Actually, where are you now?"

"Well, I went to this wacked up school named Jesuit. Fucking Catholic schools man, they will be the death of us. Like, every child. Ever. But I graduated with top honors, so that was cool. And it's better than some schools." He eyed Lenalee.

"Really? You're comparing Cabrini and Jesuit? Why?" She sighed, heavily.

"Because I can. Anyway. I go to LSU now, I'm just home for break. Have to go back up in a couple of weeks unfortunately. Like, one. But I'm coming back down for Mardi Gras, because who is going to miss that shit?"

"Mardi Gras…I've heard it's very…provocative." Allen glanced over at Lavi, then watched the multitudes of people they passed. There was such diversity, but it was nothing like London. He briefly wondered where Kanda went, but then realized he didn't care. His head and throat still hurt.

"Well, yeah, but so is New Orleans in general really." Lavi shrugged. "And man, the drunk people are funny. They're even funnier when you're drunk yourself."

"Isn't the drinking age twenty-one here?"

"Yeah, doesn't stop me. Or Yu for that matter. Or anyone. At all. Again, this is New Orleans."

"I think you're forgetting I'm not even from this _country_. I don't know anything at all about New Orleans, really. Aside from the debauchery Cross will not stop talking about, the very scary looking people, and now, that everyone is an alcoholic."

"Hey, I think you've pretty much got New Orleans down to a 't.'"

"I agree with Lavi, really, but you've yet to learn about our impossible-to-spell-street-names. Go ahead. Try and spell Tchoupitoulas. I dare you."

"I'm going to guess it doesn't start with 'c.' A silent letter is in front of that, I guess?" Allen shrugged, not really having any clue.

Very quickly, Lavi spelled out, "T-c-h-o-u-p-i-t-o-u-l-a-s."

"You don't count. You used to live on that damn street."

"Actually, I used to live on Bienville. Not Tchoupitoulas. Same city, though, so I guess you get points for that."

"_Bienville_? Where did I even get Tchoupitoulas from, then? Besides, I can see someone like Kanda surviving their smart-ass comments on Bienville, but I don't know if I can believe you did."

"And you think that Tchoupitoulas would have been better? Besides, I can take care of myself." He flexed his biceps. Which, actually, weren't as skinny as Allen's, so he had that going for him.

"I swear if I hear that gun show joke from you one more time, I will let Kanda mutilate you."

And Allen had no idea what they were talking about. Not even remotely. He was kind of being ignored again as well, but he figured that was only because he didn't really know these people. Really, why was he tagging along with/stalking them?

That was when he heard a voice he really, really, really didn't want to hear.

"Kid, is that you?"

Allen turned to Cross. The tall man was quite obviously just as surprised as he was.

"What are you doing here? And with, like, friends or some shit? Seriously? Why would anyone want to hang out with you? Especially a cute girl like that. Even the kid with one eye is cooler than you."

"I guess I shouldn't really be offended," Lavi shrugged lightly, smiling a bit.

"Really, _Godfather_," He really hated calling him that. "I'm just trying to enjoy my first day in America." Second, technically, since he'd touched down in New York, and then had flown to Atlanta, and then got on a plane to New Orleans. And by that point he was just about collapsing from exhaustion and jet-lag.

Cross scoffed. "Whatever, just be home by dinner."

"Right…by the way…where is home again?" Cross looked at him as if he were crazy. "Well, it's just that I was only there for about four hours, and that was spent sleeping. And then I went out –"

"And promptly got lost, right? Fucking kid, really. How are you still alive?"

He felt his throat. "I don't actually know." He paused. "Can I at least have an address?"

Cross paused, apparently deciding whether or not it was worth it to tell him. He conceded after a moment, finally, and said, "It's off of Robert E. Lee, on Music." He shot Allen this disgusting look before grinding his cigarette between his teeth and repeating, "Do not be late for dinner."

"I get it, sir," Allen sighed. He checked his cell phone for the time, noting that it was almost three. "Wait – what time is dinner?"

But Cross was already gone.

And that was kind of how they became acquaintances.

At the end of the – whatever – Lenalee had given him her number. He was really, really bloody happy until Lavi gave him his number as well. Which meant, no, she was not interested in the small kid with white hair and red markings. He then gave his number to them, and left just in time for the bus to take him a couple blocks from his house.

While he was making dinner that night, he get a text message from Lenalee. All excitement was thrown out the window when he read the actual message.

_Hey Allen, Lavi thought it would be a good idea to give you Kanda's number as well. Just in case. And don't tell him I was the one to give it to you. It's 504-555-6980. Hope to see you soon our newest, British friend!_

He was kind of amazed she was one of the human beings who didn't feel the need to text in numbers or abbreviations, and he was glad for it.

But why in the hell would he ever need that man's number? Ever?

_Yeah, thanks. I appreciate it, guys. Hope to you soon as well my newest, American friends._

Really, he couldn't even remember a time when he was shy anymore.

Well, actually, he can.

Like right now. Sitting by himself in the cafeteria at Ben Franklin, literally despising the education system and their ban on cell phones. Because he actually really enjoys texting with Lenalee and Lavi. He's never, ever sent a text to Kanda, and he doesn't really plan to, but he does like the other two.

Anyway, the second time he met them went like this:

"I cannot fucking believe this."

Allen, really, wasn't surprised to hear the amount of disgust in that sentence. Kanda was just as annoying as he remembered.

"Why the hell is _he_ here?" Kanda pointed at Allen huffily, clearly not happy. But Allen wasn't sure if he was _ever_ happy, so…

"He's here because we like him, Yu," Lavi smiled, leaning back in his chair.

Allen wasn't really in his element, a strange house with people he'd met one time. And then Kanda obviously hated him, but that was alright, because he hated Kanda back.

"Kanda, you don't have to be here if you don't want to be," Lenalee sighed. "Don't force yourself."

Kanda grit his teeth. "I'm here for the free fucking food, and that's all."

Lenalee's house was kinda big and actually scared him, like, a lot. Mainly because her older brother was there too, and he was watching them like a hawk.

"Anyway," Lavi started, still smiling.

He never stopped smiling.

Kanda never stopped frowning.

Huh.

"I was thinking we could, like, show our British friend around today. Like, really introduce him to New Orleans, ya know?"

"Such as?" Allen asked, actually a bit afraid of what Lavi had in mind.

"We're going to Bourbon."

Now, Allen didn't really know a lot about New Orleans, granted, but Bourbon was fairly infamous. And so, even though it was four in the afternoon – they ended up going to Bourbon street.

The thing about Bourbon, he learned fairly quickly, was that there really wasn't anything to do if you weren't at least eighteen. Like he wasn't. He'd only just turned seventeen, actually. But Lavi somehow got him into a bar. A sports bar – and grill, really. But still. Bar. Alcohol.

Anyway, they sat at a round table for four, and Allen immediately picked up the menu.

"You're going to eat dinner this early?" Lenalee asked, leaning back in her own chair. She eyed Allen, obviously surveying his scar. He tried not to let himself get self-conscious.

"What? No way. I've just gotta eat something – I'm really hungry."

And he really was. He hadn't eaten since lunch. And that was like, three hours ago.

"What's good? Wait, really, what is Andouille? I _love_ food and I have never heard of that."

"It's in gumbo. It's just kind of like a sausage." Lavi told him.

The door to the sport's bar was open, and jazz music wafted in. New Orleans, while unorthodox, did have a lot of culture. And he kind of loved it for that.

When the waiter arrived, he flipped open his notepad and said, "What can I get ya?"

"Well," Allen started. He smiled. "I'll take the homemade red beans and rice, an order of crawfish etouffee, and a banana's foster. Oh, and a water to drink please." He folded his menu and handed it to the kind of bewildered man. The waiter took it and directed his attention to rest of the group.

_What the hell?_ Lavi mouthed to him; he shrugged. It wasn't even as much as he usually ate. Just a snack.

Lenalee was next. "I'll take a – uh," she glanced at Allen. "Just a sweet tea, please."

"Miller," Lavi said simply when the man turned to him. And even though Cross wasn't cheap and didn't drink crap like Miller, he still knew that was beer.

It was Allen's turn. _What the bloody hell? _He mouthed. And Lavi just shrugged at him like it was the most normal thing in the world.

The waiter, like Allen, wasn't an idiot. "May I see your ID, sir? It's required."

"Oh yeah, _sure_," Lavi grinned. He reached into his back pocket, took out his wallet, and held out an ID to the waiter. So now he was drinking illegally _and_ using a fake ID.

Who in the world was he hanging out with?

The waiter, apparently satisfied, turned to Kanda. He didn't even have to ask before Kanda said, "If you don't have soba here, don't even bother asking for my order." The man then frowned, sighed, and shook his head before leaving the table.

Allen wasted no time in harshly leaning over the table and hissing, "Are you out of your mind? That is illegal! Why am I hanging out with a delinquent?"

"Woah, man, keep your voice down. I seriously love the accent, but I don't want to get, like, arrested over a beer." Lavi snapped back; he wasn't angry, just a bit hurried in how he spoke. His tone was low, though.

"What are you, twelve?" Kanda snorted.

"Wasn't it established that I'm seventeen? _Seventeen_. I know you can't count that high, but please remember that." Allen sighed, leaning back in his chair. "And oh, uh, you aren't driving." He motioned to Lavi.

"Dude, it's one bee-"

"Let him walk home, fuck," Kanda grit out. "Seriously, I don't know if I can take much more of this before I commit murder."

"Okay, okay. I don't really wanna walk from the French Quarter to my house, and the bus actually disgusts me, so you can drink one beer and drive."

"Wow, thanks mom."

"Hey, I'm only looking out for our safety. Except for his," Allen motioned to Kanda. "You can strap him to the roof with duct tape."

"I am seriously going to throw you out of the car the next time you enter it."

"Anyway, Allen, can't you drive?" Lenalee asked, folding her hands and leaning her head on them. She was obviously used to the little tiffs.

"Well, not in America." Not in England, either, but that wasn't the point. His hand-foot-eye coordination on a scale of one to ten was somewhere in the negatives.

She lifted an eyebrow and then said, "_I'll_ drive."

"How is that better? You nor Yu can drive worth shit, and I promise I'm not being racist. You just can't. At all." He smiled at himself a little for the pun on the word 'you,' and then turned to Allen. "I am serious. Like, you would have a better chance of surviving with me piss-ass drunk than with Yu at the wheel."

It didn't really make him feel better, but it didn't necessarily make him feel worse either. He just filed it under, 'Never let Kanda drive.'

"Well, at least I'm better than Kanda anyway," Lenalee shrugged, flipping her hair. Kanda growled something Allen couldn't understand in the least.

When they were done at the bar/grill/whatever Lavi decided it would be a good idea to walk the rather naïve seventeen year old down the street. Which it was not.

Because no matter the time of day, naked people make him flush with embarrassment. And they seemed to be in every building. It was about five-thirty, not the time for night life, so why were there so damn_many_?

Kanda actually had the gall to laugh at him a bit after seeing him tuck his face in his hands. Lavi was the one to comment on it, "Too much for ya, little pal?"

"You know, sometimes I'm kind of disgusted at the street. So I can see where Allen's coming from." Lenalee mused. "I kind of want to bury my face in my hands and weep for humanity."

"It's not so bad," Lavi grinned, walking past a particularly erotic store. They walked for a while in a kind of silence, where Lavi would comment on various women and make Allen really uncomfortable.

"Let's return to the car, now." Kanda growled after a bit. It was less of a request than a demand.

"Can you go twenty minutes without being a complete arse?" Allen sighed.

"Probably not. Turn around. Now." Kanda was gritting his teeth. He stopped walking and looked at them expectantly.

"Is our little Yu _scared_?" Lavi grinned. They all knew something Allen obviously did not.

"You know what happened last time I was down there." Kanda spat. "I will fucking walk home if I need to, but I refuse to go any further down this goddamn street."

"Chicken." Lavi muttered. "You only got _slightly_ molested."

And now Allen was successfully intrigued.

"I'm sorry, but what?" Allen asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Let's just say Bourbon caters to every persuasion. And the bars for certain persuasions are that'a way." He pointed down the street.

"Persua-oh." He paused, and then he started to laugh very loudly.

Kanda's eyebrow ticked.

"Whew, kid. I mean really, I am floored by your bravery. Kind of inspired by it actually," and Lavi started to laugh.

It seemed Lenalee couldn't help it. She had to laugh as well. And then they all just kind of bonded in a fit of laughter over Kanda. Which he didn't enjoy. At all.

His face was red, probably from a mixture of anger and embarrassment, and then he stomped away. Allen kind of watched him go, and saw that he stopped next to Lavi's car and leaned against it moodily.

"I feel kind of bad for that," Allen said, chuckling still. "Don't think he'll forgive us, eh?"

"No, probably not. Like you said, he's kind of an ass." Lavi straightened himself as best he could. Then he turned and started walking towards the car.

"Rather."

"Rather than what?"

"No, like – rather. As in: indeed. Or. I don't know – _yes_."

"I am never going to get used to your British speak." Lavi sighed, rubbing his temples. "It's like another _language_."

"Bloody Americans."

* * *

><p>And that was how they became acquaintancesfriends; they've been texting like crazy since that day. The incident he's dubbed as 'the time I learned Kanda has depth and good taste in music' was the first time he'd seen the guy since the incident Lavi dubbed as 'the time I almost pissed my pants laughing because the new British kid actually has the guts to tease Yu about gay men hitting on him.' And really, he doesn't hate him as much anymore. Because who can show disrespect to a Boston fan?

Truth be told, he wouldn't absolutely despise learning more about the Japanese teen.

Because while Kanda seemed to like 80's music, he was kind of obsessed with 80's movies. And maybe they could become some sort of friends over that.

* * *

><p><strong>I would like it to be known that I am currently ripping this entire thing to bits and changing a lot of really shitty things that I did. I also want to <strong>_**apologize**_** for some of the really shit things that I did. **


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

Dirty Dancing probably isn't the most heterosexual thing a boy of seventeen can watch, but Allen Walker really can't care any less. And really, why can't he take a day, sit down, and watch as Patrick Swayze whisks Jennifer Grey around? Why does Cross have to be an ass and insult his masculinity every time he glances at his monstrous movie collection? Really, some of the movies were amazing, like _Aliens_. Really. What a great movie. Not really the sequels, and the first he doesn't enjoy as much, but _Aliens_ is kind of amazing.

Actually, he probably owns just about every 80's movie ever. Seriously, there are hundreds of movies sitting very still and very patiently on his shelf until he watches _every single one_. He loves his movies almost as much as he loves his food. Almost.

"Are you watching that gay shit again?" Cross grumbles, walking into the room with a bottle of Jacks in one hand, and a sandwich in the other. He takes a look at the TV, and then promptly falls onto the couch with a heavy sigh.

"You keep calling it gay – and shit for that matter – but you're sitting down to watch it with me. It's almost like you _want_ to spend quality guardian-ward time with me."

"Shut up, you're my godchild, not my fucking ward." He snaps, eyes on the TV as the movie starts. "I remember when this movie came out. Before the fucking dude died."

"That is really disrespectful. Patrick Swayze was a _gift_."

"Yeah, and now he's the wind, so shut up."

"Wow…that was actually kind of clever…" Allen says, crossing his legs. "Rude, but clever." He kind of sinks into the couch, getting comfortable, and that's when his phone beeps.

He takes it out, furrows his eyebrows at the sender, and then unlocks the phone to read the message.

_Lenalee told me I had to attempt to at least 'be nice.' But fuck that, I still hate you._

He shakes his head, and then goes to reply to Kanda's sweet love note.

_You hate everything. Excluding good music, which I must say is a total surprise. But look at this, an even bigger surprise: you can actually spell. Congratulations! I bet your first grade graduation was a blast._

He puts his phone down, and it's a second later when he gets a response. He can just imagine Kanda typing furiously, yelling at his phone. It's a rather hilarious sight.

_Go die. Seriously. Go jump in the Mississippi and _drown_. I'm in college, which is more than I can say about your stupid ass._

_I'm actually surprised that you're in college. I kind of figured you for the McDonald's employee type. Also, the only reason I'm not in college is because I'm seventeen. Really. One of these days you're going to grasp that._

_Fuck you._

_I think I'm going to sit and watch Dirty Dancing now and not reply to these ingenious texts._

Allen sets his phone down beside him, fairly sure Kanda will not text him again, and relaxes into his seat a bit more, ignoring Cross's insults towards one of his favorite movies. Then, about five minutes later, the familiar beep of a text message sounds. He sighs, aggravated, and picks up his phone. Kanda, again. Shouldn't he have gotten the message that he wants to be left alone?

_That movie actually has decent music, Beansprout. You aren't as much of a tosser as I believed._

Allen rolls his eyes. Then he pauses. Is that…kind of a compliment? As he prepares to type something back, something not asshole-ish for the first time ever in talking to Kanda, he gets another text.

_I still hate you._

This time, Allen completes his eye roll.

_I hate you too, Short-bus._

_You have no room to be calling me 'short.'_

_I said short-bus. As in: you're _retarded_. Ugh, you are infuriating. Go listen to Pet Shop Boys and leave me alone._

And then he does. Kanda doesn't text him back.

He enjoys _Dirty Dancing_ more than usual.

* * *

><p>"Seriously, Lenalee. I think there's something wrong with his brain. It just won't seem to function," he sighs into the phone. He's lying supine on his bed, staring at the ceiling, using his shoulder to hold his cell phone to his ear. "You know, I really think he texted me just to tell me how much he hated me."<p>

"_Oh come on. We both know Kanda wouldn't waste his time with that_." Her tone is light and joking, but he's completely seriously. It really felt like the guy went out of his way to let Allen know of his utter dislike for him. "_Don't tell him I said this, but I'm pretty sure the guy gets kind of lonely, all by himself."_

"You tell me not to tell him a lot of things. Really, you don't have to worry; I would never willingly speak to him. Anyway, lonely? Kanda? Are we talking about the same guy?"

"_Well, yeah. I mean, he's pretty anti-social. I think we're the only friends he has."_

"I'm really not surprised. Why are you his friend anyhow?"

"_It kind of dates back to elementary school,"_ there's a reminiscent smile in her voice. _"We went to this public school together. Kanda and I made friends when I was in first grade and he was in second. Ya see, he was kind of sitting by himself, eating lunch one day, and he looked kind of lonely. Well, I thought he looked kind of lonely, but I soon learned that was just Kanda looking like Kanda."_ She laughs, and Allen vaguely wonders how she remembers this; he's learned recently, however, that she treasures her friends immensely. It's no wonder she can recall everything about her times with Kanda. _"So I sat down with him, and he gave me this look like I was totally crazy. It's something he hasn't really grown out of."_ She pauses for another chuckle, and Allen turns onto his side, pressing his phone between his head and the pillow.

"But why have you put up with his crap all these years?" He asks, sighing. He hears his door open then – more like slam against the wall, really – and he sits up quickly. "What? – Oh, hold on Lenalee, it's _my godfather_ – What do you want? I'm on the phone."

"I can see that you're on the phone. Who are you talking to? Your boyfriend? You've gotta get going." Cross looks bored. He's leaning against the doorframe, speaking around his cigarette.

"What, get going where? And it's Lenalee!" Allen cries out, slightly offended. The fact that Cross discusses these things with him makes him nauseous. Actually, everything about Cross makes him nauseous.

"You can call your boyfriend's penis whatever you wa – oh wait, that cute girl? Tell her I said 'hi' and hang up. You need to go shopping."

Allen sighs. "Sorry, Lenalee, you'll have to educate me more later on. I have to go grocery shopping."

She laughs. _"Okay, Allen. Have fun. Maybe I'll text you a bit later tonight?"_

"Sure," he answers, smiling. She can't see it, but that isn't the point. He ends the call and stands from his bed, stretching. "Did you make a list? Last time I walked all the way there, ended up getting lost, and I didn't even have the list in the first place."

Cross grumbles something, and then pulls a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. "Here," he throws it at Allen, who catches it easily. "Put on some gloves before you go, and brush your hair."

"Ugh, fine, I get it. I don't want to scare anyone too badly." He walks over to his dresser and pulls on his gloves, then runs a brush through his hair. In the mirror, his red tattoo stands out like wildfire on his pale skin. He blinks and turns away before gently maneuvering past Cross to exit his room and, ultimately, the house completely.

* * *

><p>Being a small, seventeen year old boy and walking through New Orleans isn't really…fun. It's kind of frightening actually, having to walk to the grocery by foot.<p>

Well, really, it isn't that bad. Most of the people he sees outside, on their lawns, enjoying the 'cool' while they still have it, are friendly. Most of them. Some ignore him, some make cat calls, some just yell unintelligible things at him. It's kind of endearing. There are so many different types of people, and just on the few blocks in between Music and Rouses. He kind of hates it because, even though it's so close, he has to walk down Robert E. Lee, which is kind of a busy road.

And he's glad he's in fair shape, because it's a long walk. But he's totally not above borrowing a shopping cart or something for the way back. He'll do it. Because, really, physics are going to prevent him from carrying all Cross's shit back to the house.

He looks further down Music when he gets to the intersection at Robert E. Lee, and knows Kanda's house sits down at the corner on New York. Even though he kind of hates Kanda, he kind of doesn't at the same time. He isn't going to go so far as to say he _likes_ the guy, but he never really hates anything as a general rule.

And he imagines Lenalee was kind of right – that Kanda must be lonely. But ugh, hell if he's going to care about such an idiot. Kanda really doesn't deserve any of his sympathy. The guy could get hit by a bus for all the shits he gives.

He lets out a sharp sound of disgust. The guy drives him to cursing even in his mind, when just thinking about how infuriating he can be.

When he's through shopping (he rolled his eyes a few times at the word 'bean sprouts' sprawled in red; have Cross and Kanda been speaking?) he rolls the basket out of the parking lot and towards his house. We he turns off of Franklin and onto Robert E. Lee, he sees a familiar and annoyingly handsome face.

Kanda is jogging. He's focused on what's right in front of him and ear buds are in his ears. Then he spots Allen, because the boy actually is _right in front of him_. He takes the buds from his ear with a growl, and Allen is pretty sure he hears something like _'Cult of Personality'_ blaring from them. He doesn't comment however, and blinks a little in apprehension of the uncharacteristically silent pretty boy in front of him.

"What?" Allen asks. He cocks his hips a little and crosses his arms indignantly.

"Did you steal a fucking _shopping cart_?"

Allen rubs the bridge of his nose. "Brilliant deduction, Sherlock. Just wondering, is your major by any chance Criminal Justice?"

Kanda scoffs at him. "Of course not. I'm an Environmental Biologist with a concentration in Botany." He's smug. Smug as if he thinks Allen won't understand.

Allen does understand.

And Allen takes a moment to let that settle in.

"Wait, wait, wait," Allen waves his hands, really struggling to grasp onto the concept that's formed into his head. Kanda's smug grin grows. "Did you just admit to me that you're going to be a _florist_?"

Yu Kanda's smirk fades.

Allen starts chuckling, and then his chuckle turns into a fit of laughter. Kanda seems to do this to him a lot. "R-really," he cackles. "You're going to be growing flowers for the rest of your life."

Kanda grips him by the shoulder and shakes him a little. "What the fuck is wrong with you? It's not about growing flowers. Jesus! You're ugly _and_ stupid! I can't handle this!" He throws up his hands as if he's given up, but he obviously hasn't. He pulls on Allen's hair, harshly, and says, "And your fucking hair aggravates the shit outta me. And that fucking tattoo."

"I'm sorry for not living up to your expectations," Allen snaps, pulling out of Kanda's grip.

Pulling a bit too hard.

There is a blinding pain.

"ARG! Did you – did you just rip my fucking hair out?" There are tears pricking Allen's eyes, and a chuck of white hair in Kanda's hair. The bastard never let go! His hands move up to his mouth belatedly, and Kanda really only seems surprised for a few seconds.

He chucks the white hair to the ground and twirls Allen around. "You're bleeding. Go fucking clean yourself up before you die and I go to jail."

"Again, right?" Allen manages out, coughing through the pain. It's really too much. He really does _hate_ this man. He pulls away from Kanda and pushes the cart down the road, not really caring at all whether or not the dark-haired man minded that he maimed Allen's haircut. Luckily, it was a small chunk in the back; so perhaps it wouldn't be as noticeable?

* * *

><p>"What the <em>fuck<em> happened to your hair, boy?" Cross grabs him by the wrist and takes a good, hard look at the back of Allen's head. "It's matted with blood – ugh, fuck, go clean up."

His head feels like it's on fire. Dropping the groceries in the kitchen and bolting upstairs, he grabs a hand mirror and uses the reflection in the large bathroom mirror to look at the back of his head.

It's really not _that_ bad. It hurts like hell, and yeah, its matted with blood and holy crap it's gonna hurt like crap trying to clean it, but it isn't as bad as it could be.

"I swear…" Allen mutters. "He is driving me up the wall."

It may or may not have been his fault as well – but that isn't really important.

His phone beeps and he says a silent prayer that it's someone he actually _likes_.

_I heard Yu pulled out all your hair. Really, you guys need to take it easy on the hate sex._

_Lavi. Don't make me walk to Baton Rouge to beat you._

_Me? Innocent little me? Anyway, he was bitching to me about you picking on him for his major? Props, dude. Last time I tried to insult him about it, he did a lot worse than pull out hair._

_Hold on. Kanda complained to you? About me? Is he twelve?_

_Okay – wait, I'm calling you like, right now – hold on._

Allen gives his reflection a grimace. He looks fine from the front – well, the Allen kind of fine. With a red tattoo and snow white hair. Then he hears his ringtone and answers without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello, Lavi."

"_Dude, it's like you knew I was calling or something. Magical."_

Allen raises an eyebrow, but then it falls, as Lavi can't see it anyhow. "So, Kanda was bitching about me?"

Lavi laughs – loudly. _"Oh yeah. He sent me this really, really angry text that said something like,"_ He clears his throat and gives himself an Oriental accent. _"'That fucking Moyashi,' which means Beansprout by the way, 'I'm going to kiru him. Seliousry. Tonight I am going to his house and I am ropping off his pletty fucking head.'"_

Allen forgets about his pain for a second so that he can laugh his ass off. "I do believe that was slightly over-exaggerated," He takes a sharp inhale. "But thanks for the heads up." Then he pauses and cringes slightly. "Did he really call my head pretty?"

"_Aww, well you do have a pretty head! That tattoo totally turns me on."_

"Please don't tell me about what turns you on, Lavi. Really. Especially when it's me."

"_Oh come on, baby! I thought you liked the dirty talk!"_ Allen really does have half a mind to start walking to LSU right now. He isn't going to do it – but it's a nice thought. He'd love to go see Lavi and then, you know, punch him in the chest.

"I suppose you don't remember the debacle of January fifteenth?" Otherwise known as when Lavi decided it would be good to put Allen on Bourbon. It wasn't. It wasn't good to put Kanda on it either.

"_Oh don't get your panties in a bunch, Piglet_." Allen is not a violent person. Really. But he kind of understands why Kanda _is_.

"Please stop calling me that."

"_Why, Piglet_?"

"Because, I dunno – it's embarrassing? Having Kanda call me a damn Beansprout is degrading enough."

"_Fine, fine. It's just that Allen is such a boring name. You need to have a cool name like Lavi, or Lenalee, or even Yu."_

"Wow, thanks," Allen deadpans. And really. Why is he friends with Lavi again?

"_Any time_, Allen," Lavi puts a sensual emphasis on his name, making him shiver. He hears a squeak in the background, but says nothing on it. It's probably totally unrelated to their conversation anyway.

"Seriously, you have got to stop molesting me via telephone." Allen pouts. He does need to stop. Like. Seriously. "Anyway, how's LSU?"

"_Ah, it's nice. Oh! I met this super awesome girl. Her name's Miranda. She's really shy, but she's really hot_."

"I see where your priorities lie."

"_No, I mean, like, not hot in the conventional way – not even hot in a self-confidence kind of way – hot in a kind of…tragic way. Is that possible_?"

"I guess. I wouldn't really know."

"_Anyway, she's really nice, Allen, I think you'll like her_."

He isn't really expecting a lot from Lavi, to be honest. She may be attractive, and nice, but still – anyone who'd date Lavi had to be a little messed up.

"How long have you even known her?"

"_About fifteen minutes. We're at coffee right now. It's adorable. She's sputtering into her cup like the little engine that could_."

"You've been talking to me while on a date with a girl?"

"_She said she didn't mind! Do you, Miranda_?" There is a quiet whispering in the background; she must be shier than Lavi implied. "_See Miranda says she doesn't mind. Anyway, I was wondering if you guys would totally wanna come visit me this weekend!"_

"This weekend? Like, as in Friday the eleventh?"

"_Well dur; that is this weekend_."

"It's Valentine's Day weekend, Lavi! There is no way."

"_Awww, did you and Yu make plans already_?"

"I am just going to pretend you mean me, myself, and I when you say you, because any other implications make me want to bury myself alive." Allen rubs his forehead and then says, "Talk to Lenalee. I've gotta…do something about my head."

"_Sure thing, Al; I will get back to my lady now_."

"You do that. Bye, Lavi."

"_Buh-bye_!"

The line goes dead and Allen sets it down on the countertop with a sigh. His head has kind of dulled to a numbing pain, and – really, what the hell is he supposed to do about this? Inhaling, he wets a cloth, and slowly dabs at the bloodied spots. It's kind of dried in there now, but at least he's able to clean it up a bit.

"I swear – I ugh – I hope he does come over to try and kill me tonight. I'll be awake and waiting. I will break his knee caps so fa-arg!" He dabs at a sore spot particularly hard and his eyes sting with wetness. "There is no way I'm going to sit in a car with him for two and a half hours just to go to Baton Rouge. None whatsoever."

But if Lenalee comes at him, pleading. Well – he isn't going to say no even if he wants to. Not to her.

"…For right now I'll just work on fixing this damn problem."

* * *

><p>That night, Kanda really does come for him. The Japanese boy climbs into his first story window, Allen can hear the window shimmy open, and stalks inside. "Maybe I'll just punch him in the nose," he whispers to himself, holding a fist above Allen's face. "Just fucking break it."<p>

"You do not know how creeped out I am right now," Allen says suddenly, visibly startling Kanda. He sits up. "Lavi told me. He called me. Did you really think I was going to sleep when I heard you were out for blood?" He pauses. Kanda is completely silent, the harsh shadows overplaying the extreme beauty of his face. "Seriously, I could like, call the cops on you. Besides, you knew I was awake. You knew I heard you coming in. Why are you really here?" Allen props himself against the wall, using it as a backrest. Reluctantly, he rolls his eyes and says, "Go ahead and sit in my desk chair if you want."

Kanda remains standing. "It's really not – I'm not going to be tending to flowers."

"A-are you really still sore about _that_?" It's strange they're being so civil to each other. Maybe it's related to the darkness. The black sweeps over them like blankets, protective, and they don't need to combat each other with words. Or, apparently, fists.

Kanda turns his face away from Allen's.

"Okay, listen, I'm _sorry_. I really didn't think it would offend you considering all the things you say to me." He really cannot believe Kanda would be upset over such a thing. "There's something else, isn't there, Kanda?"

"Are you going to LSU this weekend? To see Lavi?"

"I was considering it. Why?" He crosses his arm and Kanda looks back at him again. The features of his face seem more angular in the dark. "What's got you so worked up, Kanda?"

"I really don't need to be telling the likes of you." He spits, doing a one-eighty. "I just wanted to know if you were going to Baton Rouge so that I wouldn't."

Allen raises an eyebrow even though Kanda probably can't see it. "_Really_?"

"Fuckin' really."

"You know, Kanda, I was really proud of you for not being a total twat for those few heavenly minutes. But you know what they say, all good things must end."

"Your voice is really starting to annoy me." Kanda growls – and oh, here they go again, slipping into this old routine. "Can't you stop sounding like such a faggot?"

"Woah, really? We're gonna go there? This is my _accent_, arsehole. I can't just switch it on and off. Anyway, aren't you the gay one?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, any man with hair that long –"

Kanda's hand crashes against the wall beside Allen's head; Timcampi, Allen's golden finch, bats his wings loudly in his cage. "Keep insulting me, see where it heads you." Kanda's ponytail falls over his shoulder like running water. It really is nice looking on Kanda, it fits.

He doesn't flinch at the hand, or Kanda's tone, but that look in Kanda's eyes – he flinches a bit at that. "I," he swallows sharply and Kanda notices. He doesn't have a death wish, but he doesn't want to lose either. He isn't going to lose. Not to Kanda. He blinks a few times, and it's Kanda's turn to swallow a bit harshly. It can't be out of fright, but then what – His mouth is running faster than he can think. "Any man with hair that long, and this – pretty," he pulls at a strand, and Kanda's lips purse into a straight line. "And eyelashes that at long, and fingernails that clean and manicured," he looks at Kanda's hand on the wall, surveying his nails. "Gay." He breathes into Kanda's face, and the man absolutely loses it; he steps back and slams his palm against Allen's cheek. It stings, badly. But he isn't thinking about that. He winds back and punches Kanda in the stomach. The man's stomach is _hard_, but that doesn't stop him. He is punching and kicking and the two of them are rolling on the ground trying to hurt the other in _some_way.

The door slams open and light floods the room. Allen's eyes need time to readjust and it blinds him for a second. A second that Kanda takes advantage of. The taller, Japanese man pushes Allen onto his back and goes to punch Allen in the face. But he stops.

Blankets of red coat his vision. Cross's hair is down, splayed around him and Kanda as he harshly grips the man's hand and leans over him to look him right in the eye.

"You're a grown man," Cross starts, wearily. "You think it's fun to beat children?"

"He's twenty, Godfather, and I'm not a child. It's fine."

"What the fuck were you two doing in here? Idiot, you know him?"

Allen sighs, harshly. "He's a friend of a friend." _But not mine_, Allen snaps in his mind. Screw him and his musical tastes. He's never, ever going to be friends with the guy. Ever.

Cross let's go of Kanda's wrist and Allen vaguely notes there's a bruise forming there. Kanda doesn't let on if it hurts, though. His glare is indignant as he stands and stares Cross right in the eye.

"I don't care what kind of shit goes on in this room, but keep it down. I'm trying to sleep."

Allen almost thought Cross cared for a moment. Almost. Maybe he still almost thinks it.

"Get back to your fucking." With that he's gone.

Kanda takes a harsh glance at Allen and then moves to climb out the window.

"You're lucky he didn't kill you," Allen calls after Kanda. The man slows down his walk as if to tell Allen he's listening. "He doesn't like trespassers very much. Let that be a warning to _never come back_."

Kanda speeds up his walk again, and Allen can hear his back gate open and close harshly.

The man always seems to be physically injuring him.

* * *

><p>Friday, he gets a phone call from Lenalee. When he answers, he can hear the wind, as if she's in a car.<p>

"_Allen_?" She yells. "_Get your bag, because even if you said no the first eighty times, you know you're coming, and come jump in the car. We've gotta go._"

He sighs, harshly. His body still hurts from the abuse Kanda put on it on Wednesday. Oh lord, that sounds wrong. One of these days, he's going to kick the guy's ass.

"Fine, Lenalee. _Fine_." He concedes. "Is Kanda there?"

"_Yeah, he's in the front seat with me_."

"Ugh, all right. I'm coming. I'll be down in five."

Looks like they're going to Baton Rouge.


	3. Chapter 3

It's another Monday, guys. Enjoy.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Three<span>

Really. It isn't like he had any other plans for the weekend. Not the weekend before February the fourteenth. Not at all. Not even a single one.

It's probably because he is completely _alone_.

And really – it probably wouldn't be such a bad way to die this weekend anyway. Not with a beautiful girl at the wheel, swerving in and out of traffic on the interstate like she's being chased. Not long and she probably would be – by the cops, that is.

He really does try to sleep. He rests his head on the door and closes his eyes, and breathes in and out. It's hard to be relaxed with someone like Yu Kanda in the front seat, however.

"Fucking hell, woman!" Kanda yells, holding onto the 'oh shit' handle. "If you run us off this bridge, I will murder you. I don't care who you are!"

"Oh, Kanda, calm down," Lenalee smiles; she notices a cop and slows down to seventy-five. As soon as she's far enough away, she speeds up to eighty-five again. "Besides, if it weren't for me, we would've already run off this bridge. You know you can't drive at all."

"Next time," Allen says rather sleepily. "I'll walk." He yawns, and Lenalee gives him an offended-type face in the rearview mirror. "Oh nothing against you," he amends, stretching. "I really just can't stand listening to his bitching for much longer."

Kanda's hand swings and finds purchase on the side of Allen's head.

"Shut the fuck up."

"Just wondering," Allen rubs his head. He's put his hair up in a ponytail to cover the patch that's ripped out. "Is it possible for you to come up with other words, or is your vocabulary really that limited? Then again, I guess you don't need to know any words bigger than 'pretty' when you're going to be a florist."

He can practically hear Kanda's teeth grit. "I told you before. I'm not going to be a _florist_." He spits out. "I am going to be an economical biologist."

"Fancy words for: 'I am going to be watering plants.'" Allen's grin is sly, and he realizes this. Neither of them can see him unless they turn around though. "Tell me, Kanda, do you grow your own flowers? You know, so you don't have to buy any for your boyfriend on your anniversary?"

Kanda swings at the back seat again, but Allen isn't an idiot; he isn't going to be hit twice in the same way. The dark-haired man just ends up twisting his arm in this awfully painful looking way.

He is no better than Cross.

Strangely, he doesn't feel so bad about this.

"Anyway, boys," Lenalee shakes her head with a smile. "We should be there in forty minutes. Since neither Allen nor I are eighteen, we'll have to all share a suite with two bedrooms."

Oh. Fucking. Shit.

"No. No I am not staying in the room with him. Never. Can I please, please stay with you? I promise I will kill him if we're in the same room together." Allen begs; he stretches out his seat belt by leaning forward towards the driver's seat. He rests his hand on her shoulder and looks her deep in the eyes via the rearview mirror. "Hear my heart's desperate cry."

Kanda gives a sharp sound of disgust. "I refuse to let him stay in the same room as me anyway."

Lenalee raises one, dark green eyebrow. She puts her eyes back on the road and concedes. "Well, yeah. I don't have a problem with it. We're friends. Seriously, you're like brother to me."

Ouch. That stings. Like. Really.

Kanda knows. He turns his head and gives Allen the nastiest 'haha-fuck-you' smile he's ever seen. So Allen crosses his arms and leans back in his seat. "Thanks," he says, careful not to let his voice betray his disappointment.

It wasn't like he thought he was going to get anywhere, but she didn't have to completely stomp on his dreams.

"Really, you guys should try to get along a little bit better though." Her smile fades a bit. It doesn't fit her pretty face. "I don't like it that my friends are fighting."

"I don't like it that he's a fucking idiot."

"I don't like that you're an arsehole."

"I don't like the way you say ass."

"I don't like the way you _breathe_."

Lenalee shakes her head, apparently conceding defeat. It really isn't that he enjoys fighting with Kanda, or upsetting her. It's just that he hates him so _much_. It kind of blinds him and his gentlemanly ways and makes this dark and ruthless side of him come out.

Then Lenalee smiles a bit, bends down, and slips a CD into the player. She turns the radio up a little, and keeps her eyes on the road. Allen's a bit curious as to what she put on, but as soft guitar notes radiate from the speakers, he understands completely. Then the drums kick in – the bass line and cymbals.

The Police. '_Don't Stand So Close to Me_.'

He believes it's more for Kanda's benefit than his, because the guy's shoulders lose their tension immediately and he unwinds. In turn, Allen feels himself relaxing. The song is kind of amazing and soothing in a strange sort of way; it's not a particularly upbeat Police song, even if it is one of their best in his opinion.

Eighties music isn't really his forte. He likes the movies more and that's really the only reason he knows most of the songs on the CD. He isn't going to lie that '_Flashdance'_ excites him immensely. He does try to hide it, but he can't really. He loves the movie, and the song immediately reminds him of it. Lenalee hums along to it, smiling, and she looks at Kanda.

"_What a feeling, being's believin'_," she sings lightly. Allen laughs and hears a slight release of breath that might be something like a laugh coming from Kanda.

She has actually succeeded in completely dissipating all the tension in the car.

Now if only she could drive without him fearing for his life.

* * *

><p>"I cannot fucking believe you," Kanda growls, climbing out of the car. "How is that you are such a geek for Eighties movies and you've never heard of Yes? They're even English for fuck's sake"<p>

"Okay, listen, retard, I'm only going to repeat myself one more time. It is not that I have never heard of the band. I actually have, believe it or not. I think they're really good. It is just that I have never heard of that song. What's it called…_'Going for the_ – whatever."

They're in front of the hotel, a Marriott, and Lenalee points the remote keyless entry at the car. It beeps, once, and the locks click into place. They walk to the lobby area and Allen and Lenalee push Kanda up to the desk. He's the one who's eighteen, so he has to book the room.

"I – uh," he looks back at the both of them, glaring. Allen can't help his light chuckle. The man's so obviously awkward in these kinds of situations. "I need a suite with two bedrooms."

The man at the counter looks at him, then Lenalee and Allen. "I assume they're with you."

"Unfortunately."

"All right," the man sighs, shaking his head. Allen can just barely hear, "I'm not one to judge," which makes him freeze because, really, what is the man implying? He can visibly see Kanda bristle with anger and – shame? "How many nights?"

"Two."

"All right, that will be…" the man pauses and squints at his computer screen. "Two hundred and thirty dollars and twenty-eight cents."

Lenalee takes eighty dollars from Allen, and pools it with her own before handing it to Kanda. He pockets it and hands the man a debit card. "Put it all on the card," he grumbles. And really, Lavi had better appreciate this and all the money it's costing them just for a weekend.

"This better be a fantastic weekend," Allen mutters.

"I know," Lenalee sighs. "Oh, and uh – don't mention anything to Brother. He would die if he knew I was here with you guys."

"You didn't tell Komui?" Kanda growls, raising an eyebrow as the man hands him back his card.

"Of course not; he would never have let me come."

Silently, Allen agrees. He's only met the man once, but – he seems crazy. Like. Batshit.

Together, they walk into the elevator, sharing it with a young boy. He looks up at them when the doors close and his eyes go wide.

"Are you guy's movie actresses?"

Kanda twitches. Allen kind of does too. "What?" Allen forces a smile to his face for the boy.

"All you ladies are so pretty, are you in movies?" The boy is so obviously innocent in his questioning, and yet still…

"No – ah, we aren't girls." Allen blinks, trying, still, to smile. He watches Kanda's fist clench behind him and rolls his eyes. There's no way he's going to let Kanda hit a small child. Really, this guy needs an outlet other than beating people up.

"But you're pretty," the boy pouts. "So you have to be."

"Why can't boys be pretty?" Lenalee asks, squatting so she's eye level with the child. "I'm a girl, but why can't they be boys just because they're pretty?"

This isn't really helping their case.

"No, boys are _handsome_, girls are pretty. They aren't handsome, they're pretty." The boy seems pretty adamant in his denial. And really, Allen realizes he isn't really handsome, but pretty? Well, that doesn't seem likely either. Kanda, however – well, he can see where the kid's coming from with the word 'pretty,' but the man has a ruggedness to him that kind of makes him look hands-

Why is he even thinking about this? _I hate him so much._

"And besides, boys can't have long hair."

Something inside Kanda must snap, because he growls out a, "Kid, shut the fuck up." Allen looks at Kanda, appalled that he would use such strong language. But he really shouldn't be surprised, the man has no tact.

"Kanda!" Lenalee scolds. "That was totally unnecessary!"

The boy then starts crying. It's loud in the elevator, and Allen really has half a mind to turn around and choke the sunovabitch who just had to yell at the small child.

Kanda looks uncomfortable, as he should.

The doors open, and the boy runs out onto his floor.

Silence. The elevator dings as they ascend.

"Room 413," Lenalee says, cheerily despite her earlier expression, as they walk onto their floor. It's the top floor, and as such, all of the rooms are suites. They walk down the hall to theirs, and Lenalee unlocks the door.

The inside of the room is impressive. There's a common area in front of them; it holds a couch, a loveseat, a coffee table and a television. To the immediate right are a small half-kitchen and a dining table for four. The kitchen has a small dorm fridge, sink, and minimal counter space.

There are doors on either side of the room. Kanda immediately walks into the one on the right, and Allen and Lenalee look at each other before shrugging and walking into the left.

The walls on the inside of the bedroom are a peach color; from them hang pictures. But there's a bit of a roadblock. He didn't consider the bed would be a queen instead of two doubles.

Allen scratches the back of his head, and then says, "Well, I can just sleep on the sofa in the living room, then."

Lenalee gives him a strange look and says, "Why? Just sleep in the bed with me. It's big enough." She pauses at his weary look. "Really, Allen. We've been friends for close to a month. I don't have any problems with it. You aren't going to attack me, right?"

"Of course not!"

"Then there's no problem," she smiles. Her purple eyes are kind of mesmerizing, and painstakingly beautiful. They're dark, but not as dark as Kanda's. His eyes are such a rich, dark blue they seem black.

He hates them.

He concedes defeat and his shoulders relax a little. "All right," he smiles.

"Okay, well I'm going to go take a shower. I'll be out in twenty."

He fidgets a little. "Sure." What is he supposed to do for twenty minutes while his very attractive friend, who is a girl, is showering?

She smiles a dazzling smile and retreats into the bathroom.

He decides to sit in the common area and wait for her for a few minutes. Kanda walks out of his room after five, and the air is suddenly very tense. Allen watches him as he sits onto the loveseat carefully.

"What?" Kanda snaps.

"Just wondering why you aren't primping for all of the boys tomorrow. It must take you a while to wash all that hair."

There's a low noise coming from the back of Kanda's throat, like a feral growl. Then he pauses. "You're the one sharing a bed with a girl tonight. It must feel amazing to know you'll never be anything to her."

"I don't need to be anything to her more than her friend," Allen says back, offended. "It's horrible that you think I have ulterior motives. It's really just that I don't like you. Besides, you would know everything about _feelings_, wouldn't you, Flower-Boy?"

"You make me want to _vomit_," Kanda snarls.

"You make me want to jump out that window. And we're on the fourth floor."

"Please do, really. I'll even push you if you need help."

"How sweet. I can see why so many people are lining up to be your significant other. It's because you're a romantic."

"It's because I'm attractive, unlike you."

"Is that an ego I hear? Really, Kanda, do you have a superiority complex because you think you're _prettier_ than me?"

"I have a superiority complex because I am superior to you, Beansprout. It doesn't take much."

"You really have nothing on me besides my height, do you?"

Kanda pauses, then smiles. "How's about that nasty arm of yours?"

Allen freezes. "What are you talking about?"

"Go ahead and take off your glove, Beansprout. Let's see. Did you think I wouldn't notice? Your shirt sleeves do lift sometimes. It's black, isn't it?" Kanda folds his arms, a sense of victory evident on his face.

It takes a moment, but Allen gains motor abilities again. "It's - none of your business." He says, defensive.

"It's disgusting like your face, right?"

"Ugh, it's actually prettier than yours, so that's a plus."

"Take off your damn glove, Beansprout." Kanda says, standing and looming over him.

"No."

"Take it off."

"No."

"Now!"

"No – arg, get off of me you freak."

"Take it the fuck off. It's aggravating. You're aggravating."

"I hate you. Go die. Really. Urg! Stop it."

He rips the glove off Allen's hand. It's too late for him to hide it, so he just looks away as Kanda surveys the black fingers, palm, nails, wrist. Kanda takes Allen's sleeve, then, and pushes it up as far as he can. The black seems to disappear into the shirt.

"It stops at my bicep. Are you happy now?"

"No." Kanda says, returning to his position on the seat.

"I forget, you're never happy, are you?"

Kanda gives him a mocking sneer and shuts up, but his eyes don't leave Allen's arm. Even when Allen pushes his sleeve back down and pulls on the glove, he keeps his eyes trained.

Allen is used to stares, really, but it makes him fidgety that it's Kanda doing the staring. He doesn't like having the Japanese boy's eyes on him.

They sit in an awkward silence for what seems like ever, the TV playing random channels and shows that don't matter to either of them. Then Lenalee walks into the common area.

She has a towel wrapped around her dark green hair and she's wearing a long sleeve shirt with a black skirt, tights, and black boots. She leans against the doorframe, and watches the TV for a few seconds before saying, "I'm proud of you guys. For you know, not killing each other while I was in the shower. It doesn't even look like you came to blows."

Neither of them responds. Allen is, however, going to punch him in that pretty little nose if he goes near his glove again.

There are a few reasons he wears gloves to cover his black arm, and the biggest is so, you know, _people don't see what was underneath it_.

"Anyway, I was wondering where you guys wanted to go eat tonight."

Allen picks up the phone book that sits on the coffee table and begins flipping through it. "Well, what are you in the mood for, Lenalee?" He asks, purposefully leaving Kanda out of the conversation.

"I dunno," she unravels the towel from around her hair, and the wet locks splay against her pale skin. It looks almost lacquered black, like Kanda's hair, from the water.

"Well, there's this place called T.J. Ribs that sounds good." Truthfully, Allen is starving. He hasn't eaten since one, and it's already six in the evening. He's going to go bankrupt after this trip. What little savings he has from England, money that's been traded in for American cash, is going to be completely gone.

"Well okay, that does sound nice. I actually think I remember Lavi mentioning something about it. He seems to like it."

"When do you wanna go?"

"We can go now if you guys are ready," she runs her hands through her hair and throws it up into a ponytail.

"Yes," Allen says quickly and forcefully. He stands and says, "I'd like to go now."

Kanda lets out a harsh sigh and pulls his hair of its ponytail, running his hands through it to work out the knots and putting it back in its previous position. Allen's almost jealous of the way Kanda's hair seems to react like water, spilling between his fingers. His hair most of the time feels rough between his fingers. Today is one of those days. His hair is knotty and he's a bit self-conscious after seeing Kanda and Lenalee's hair.

Lenalee laughs and shakes her head a bit to get rid of the excess water. She looks pretty, her skin flushed from the hot water, her hair stringing in little bits upon her shoulders. Allen blinks, and then Kanda is in his line of vision. He's all muscle and anger and hate. They're so different, but they almost seem like they belong in the picture together, like it makes sense that they're friends. That they'd be friends in any life.

Does he fit in the picture somewhere, perhaps?

* * *

><p>When Lenalee pulls into the parking lot of the T.J. Ribs, Kanda lets out a sharp, "Fuck!"<p>

Allen really could not have phrased it better.

People are littered about in front of the place, evidently waiting. Who'd have thought the place was so popular? Allen really did pick it at random.

"Well, do we wanna go somewhere else?" She asks, pulling into an empty parking spot surprisingly close to the front and turning down the radio. She leans back in her seat and looks at Kanda, then Allen.

"I can go check to see how long the wait is," Allen offers.

"Forget it," Kanda says. "It'll be at least half an hour. Let's go somewhere else."

That's when Lenalee's phone beeps. She holds the cellular device to her sight and says, "It's Lavi. He's wondering if we want to meet him at Chick-Fil-A."

"…What's Chick-Fil-A?"

Lenalee and Kanda both give him sharp glances, and Lenalee says, "Yes. Yes we are going." When she's done texting him she turns around in her seat sharply and asks, "How have you never heard of Chick-Fil-A?"

"They don't have them in England. Or at least, I don't think they do. I've never even heard of one." Allen looks out the window at all of the people. "What kind of food do they have there?"

"Chicken," Kanda deadpans.

"Oh, Kanda's a sucker for chicken. Well, that and soba. Especially chicken flavored yakisoba from Wal-Mart." Lenalee smiles, backing out of the parking spot like she belongs in an action movie. Patrons of the restaurant watch as the tires screech against the pavement. Kanda shoots her a dark glare and folds his arms.

"I only eat soba when it's decent. If it's shit, I don't eat it. Wal-Mart doesn't have decent things."

"Oh wait – well, that time you were sick, yeah, I got the soba from Wal-Mart and threw it in a bowl."

His head snaps to the window on his right and he stares out it like he has some dark, personal business with the thing. Allen can tell he doesn't like to hurt Lenalee, or even say mean things to her. Is it because she's a girl, or because she's Lenalee?

Following the directions Lavi gives, Lenalee heads to the closest Chick-Fil-A. "Apparently there's one on campus in the Union, but he says there are never any good parking spots. And that he likes the one we're going to better for some reason." She tells them.

They pull into the Chick-Fil-A parking lot, a parking lot with considerably less cars in relation to T.J. Ribs's parking lot, and walk inside, looking for bright red hair. But Allen feels Lavi before he sees him. Hands wrap around his waist, and Lavi rests his chin on Allen's shoulder. "Hey baby," he breathes in Allen's ear, making him shiver.

"Stop doing that, please." Allen retorts automatically. Then it registers in his mind that Lavi is there, in front of him, not just molesting him over the phone. "Ah! Lavi!"

"Bro fist!" They tap knuckles, laughing, and Lavi and Lenalee share a quick hug. Lavi turns to Kanda and holds up his fist. "Bro fist?" He asks, eye big and pleading. Kanda holds up his fist, but only ends up punching Lavi's hand. "Ow," he whimpers, holding it close to his chest.

Kanda smirks and Allen looks behind Lavi to find a pretty, if not completely withdrawn girl. She's watching them wearily, but with a smile. "You must be Miranda," Allen smiles his charming, gentleman's smile, and holds out his hand for her to shake.

She squeaks, but takes it gently. "Um, Allen, right?" Allen tilts his head, wondering how she knew. "Ah! I'm sorry! Did I get it wrong? I'm so sorry! I'm useless, I know."

Allen raises an eyebrow. "No, no. My name is Allen. I was just wondering how you knew." He pauses, realizing. "Ah, the white hair and red tattoo, right?" He smiles, and Miranda squeaks again. "It's alright," he laughs. "I'm used to being identified by that. Just don't stare _too_ much."

"Are you flirting with my girl, man? Not cool," Lavi jokes, wrapping an arm around Miranda's shoulders. She kind of hunches into the side hug and Lavi laughs.

"Your girl, huh? You've only known her for three days, what's up with that?" Allen asks, smiling.

"I don't tell secrets," he presses a finger to his lips and winks. Or blinks. It's hard to tell really.

Lenalee laughs and holds her hand out to Miranda as well. "My name's Lenalee. Nice to meet you, Miranda."

"Nice to meet you, too," she whispers back, blushing.

It really – she doesn't seem like his type, to be honest. She's shy and polite and pretty, and he's just – not. Not that Lavi isn't attractive, because he has his qualities, but they're just so opposite. They're like night and day. He'd never work with someone so opposite him.

Not that it matters, anyway, because he's so incredibly awkward it's a wonder he even has Lenalee as a friend.

She turns to Kanda and frowns a little. "Yu?"

He freezes up and shoots a glare at Lavi. At least the guy knows not to take it out on Miranda.

"You're an arse," Allen laughs at Lavi and then turns to Miranda. "Call him Kanda, or he'll end up breaking things."

Kanda's eyes dart in Allen's general direction and then he stomps up to the counter. "Number one," he grumbles, taking out his wallet.

"What would you like to drink?" The girl behind the register asks.

"Water."

A little put off, the worker pulls a bottle of water out of the fridge and hands it to him, then goes to the back and gives his order.

"Look Kanda, that'll be you one day. Just wait. They may even let you tend the gardens outside," Allen grins.

Kanda spins around on his heel so fast Allen's sure he made himself a bit dizzy. He doesn't let on though. His eyes are lighter than usual, as if illuminated by flames; his lips are pursed in a thin line, and Allen leans back on his heels a little with the intensity of the expression. Satisfied that he scared Allen shitless, he turns back towards the counter. When the woman returns, she tells him his total and he hands her the money before leaning on the counter and shooting Allen another glare.

He'd follow up with some snarky comment usually, but something's stopping him. He can't find any words; Kanda's immobilized him. And maybe he doesn't hate those eyes. Maybe they're kind of entrancing and passionate and –

"When you guys end your staring contest, can we order?" Lavi smiles, walking up to the counter beside them.

Allen scoffs and turns away. No way. He hates all that raw energy that sits in Kanda's eyes. It bothers him, just as the man himself does.

It isn't until after they've eaten that Allen realizes why Lavi enjoys this Chick-Fil-A so much.

"Guys, guys, come on." He mouths, face pressed against plastic. They can barely hear him.

"Lavi, you're too big for that, get down. Look, it says no one over the age of fifteen is allowed in the play-place." Lenalee says, placing her hands on her hips and motioning to a sign.

"But I took off my shoes!" he pouts, crawling further into the play-places depths.

"You're a fucking five year old," Kanda spits.

"Come on, Yu! Join me! You too Allen, Lenalee, Miranda!"

"No. Fucking. Way."

"At least there aren't any children this time," Allen sighs. "Sure, Lavi, why not. I'll join you."

"Allen! You aren't helping!" Lenalee frowns. "You guys are gonna end up getting stuck."

"I've spent a hundred dollars on this trip already," he shrugs. "What have I got to lose by maybe having fun?"

"Dignity – oh wait," Kanda smirks.

Allen frowns and begins taking off his shoes. "Whatever, Twat."

"I really hope you get stuck and die." Kanda grinds out.

"I really hope you get hit by a bus." Really. He isn't violent. _Really_. "I'm coming, Lavi! Hold on!"

"Ohhh, I thought you said you didn't like the dirty talk."

Allen rolls his eyes, smiling, and climbs in. It really is a bit small for him, so he imagines Lavi's even worse off. He climbs through and quickly finds Lavi sitting at the top of one of the slides. "I'm going for it man, I'm so gonna do it."

"By all means," Allen waves his hand and Lavi flattens himself, using his arms to press against the sides and push himself down.

"Dude, this isn't working," he says, pushing himself down. "I should be sliding. I'm just kind of…nudging."

"Sorry, but it is made for twelve year olds, not twenty year olds." Allen laughs. "Hurry up, I wanna slide too."

"Ugh, I'm _trying_, all right." For a few moments, there are just the sound of Lavi's grunts and his shoes squeaking against the plastic as he pushes himself from the slide. "'Kay, dude. It's your turn."

He's a bit smaller than Lavi, so he fits into the slide better, and ends up actually _sliding_. He lets out a squeak of delight when he reaches the bottom and takes Lavi's hand, using it as leverage to pull himself up.

"Thank you for that," Allen laughs, dusting off his pants.

Kanda looks kind of disgusted, but not one hundred percent. It's almost like…his eyes are laughing. They're light again, but not out of anger. Lenalee has her forehead pressed against her palm. "I cannot believe you guys," she laughs.

Lavi shrugs and wraps his arm around Miranda's waist, bringing her closer to him. "You expect me to act like an adult? Me?"

"Ah, sorry," Lenalee smiles. "I forget sometimes. That, you know, you're _you_."

"Wait. I'm Yu? Mindfuck. Total mindfuck." He shakes his head and they leave the play area.

Kanda sneers and folds his arm. "You wish," he snaps playfully. Maybe the guy can have a little fun.

* * *

><p>By the time they arrive back at the hotel, Kanda's in his usual bad mood again. He plops down onto the loveseat and crosses his legs, turning on the TV.<p>

"There he goes," Lenalee smiles. It's a warm, familiar smile. One that reaches her eyes, but doesn't betray a single hint of a laugh. It's almost…motherly.

"What do you mean?" Allen asks, following her into the bedroom.

"Ah, don't you notice? He's angry again. Kanda and Lavi have always been closer than Kanda and I are." She pauses, shrugging off her coat. "Well, it's because they're boys, of course. There're different dynamics. I get it. But remember how I said he's been lonely? Lavi and he always used to hang out. Kanda never really admitted it, but I think he appreciated it. After Tiedoll died, he kind of-"

"Who's Tiedoll?"

Lenalee sits down on the bed, sighing. She pulls her hair from its ponytail and runs her fingers through it. It's wavy from drying while tied up, but it's still pretty. He feels at his own ponytail and decides to keep his hair up.

"He was Kanda's foster father. He…passed last year. It was hard. We were all very close. Tiedoll was a kind man; Lavi and I were over at that house constantly. We haven't gone in since he died; no one has except for Kanda. Even his brothers can't go in there yet. And Kanda…well he says he stays there because of its proximity to UNO, but I really think he just can't stand to leave everything behind. He's not really that much of an asshole. I think he's just…damaged."

Allen isn't sure of how to respond, so he asks, "Kanda has brothers?"

"Yeah, three. Marie, Daisya, and Chaoji. They all moved out. They live in various parts of the city. Oh, except for Chaoji, he moved to the West Bank."

"I don't know what the West Bank is," he says, not knowing how to comment on anything else. He's really just kind of lost. He can't fathom the fact that Kanda might be an ass for a reason.

"Well, the city of New Orleans is the East Bank, and all of the other cities on the other side of the river – Marrero, Gretna, Algiers, etcetera – are the West Bank. Anyway, back to my story." She stands, walking over to her suitcase and unzipping it. She pulls out a long sleeve shirt and sweatpants. "After Tiedoll passed, Kanda grew, if possible, even angrier. He'd always been a pretty pissy guy, but he wouldn't even talk to us for about a week. And Tiedoll, I think he was the only one Kanda ever really respected. I want to say loved, but I'm not sure. When Tiedoll was alive, he was very standoffish towards him. That was sad in and of itself, but…" She pauses. "I'm gonna go change. I'll be right back."

Allen nods and she walks into the bathroom, clothes in hand. He takes this opportunity to change into his own clothes. He unzips his suitcase and kneels on the ground, sifting through the clothing.

It's a lot to think about. He feels sorry for the guy, but not in a patronizing sort of way. It's of course true that he doesn't like the guy, but Allen isn't heartless. He understands how it feels to lose a father, or rather, father-figure; it isn't easy. So he can empathize. Not many people can empathize with others, but he understands how Kanda feels. He's felt it. He still feels it. Mana meant everything to him, and even though Lenalee said that Kanda didn't seem to love Tiedoll, there had to be something there. Because Kanda's still human and Tiedoll was still his father.

He pulls off his shirt and swaps it out for another before doing the same with his bottoms, but exchanging his jeans for sweatpants. He lies down on the right side of the bed and takes in a sharp breath before hearing Lenalee walk from the bathroom.

"Are you going to take a shower tonight or in the morning?" She asks, sitting down on the other side of the bed.

"In the morning," he says lowly, resting his arm over his eyes.

"Are you going to take off your gloves?" She raises an eyebrow and he looks at her, then the gloves.

"I…" he frowns. "I guess, but…"

"Allen?" Lenalee asks, leaning forward a bit. He swallows and averts her gaze. "Is something the matter?"

"No, no of course not." He shakes his head. Normally people shun him for his arm. But…Lenalee isn't like that. She's kind and beautiful and caring. She's everything Kanda isn't and he absolutely adores her for that. He blinks a few times before pulling off the gloves by the fingertips. First the one on his right hand, the normal one, then the other.

She gasps a little when she sees the black. "Wh…is this why you always wear gloves?"

He sits up and nods. "Yeah. I'm sorry for not showing you sooner, but…I guess you understand why I didn't."

"It's all right," she shakes her head, staring at his arm. "May I ask…what happened?"

He sighs heavily and uses his pale hand to brush his bangs from his eyes. "When I was ten, there was…well I still lived in England then, with my foster father Mana. We traveled a lot, so often times we would stay outside. We didn't really have a home and we didn't really need one. My home was with Mana; it wouldn't have mattered if there was a building or not.

"Well, around Christmas of that year, there was a horrible blizzard. Mana and I decided to take shelter in a hotel for that night, and everything was going to be fine." Allen pauses, looking down at his blackened palm. "Then an alarm sounded. It wasn't a fire alarm – I don't even remember what it was for. But I remember wishing, hoping for fire. We weren't able to leave the building, so Mana and I and the rest of the people in the hotel had to stay in the lobby; we were snowed in. We bundled together and used blankets to the best of our ability, and we were fine until the heater went out. It was cold, I remember. Very cold. Numbingly cold. I don't even remember anything else. We were there for days. How many, I'm not sure. Just days.

"I only know we were rescued on Christmas day because they told us. Apparently my arm had gotten frostbite from over exposure to the cold but I can't remember how." He pauses again and looks up at her. There's a sheen to her eyes, but she isn't crying. He's grateful – he's tired of tears. "Anyway, they were going to amputate it, but they figured it could be saved. I can still move it, so that's good. I'm glad I don't have to walk around without an arm at least." He laughs a humorless laugh.

Lenalee gives him a weak smile. "Well, what happened to Mana?"

"Oh…he – he died of hypothermia that night." He looks at his hands again. "But, it's over with now. Cross is my guardian."

"I'm sorry," she puts her hand to her mouth. "I'm so nosy."

"It's all right. You're my friend, so I don't mind telling you," he tells her, truthful. And really, it's kind of a relief to tell her these things. To be able to talk to her. To get it all out.

The door swings open. "I'm not fucking _deaf_," Kanda growls, storming into the room. He glares at Allen, then Lenalee.

Allen rolls his eyes. "Well, how sad for you."

"Lenalee, why'd you tell him everything?"

"I didn't tell him everything," she retorts, eyes hard. "I told him what you wouldn't. He's our friend, Kanda, it's not nice to leave him in the dark."

"I will never consider him my friend."

"Well good, because that feeling's mutual. You know, Kanda, I thought maybe we'd be able to understand each other, but that was before I remembered you're a freaking _tosser _and how much I hate you."

"Things are never going to change between the two of you, are they?" Lenalee sighs, falling back onto the bed. "You guys are exhausting."

* * *

><p>Oh my god. What is this? Backstory? Plot? It's like...this is an actual story or something - not just total crack.<p>

Ah, well, thanks for the reviews you guys. I try to reply to all of you, but if you have PM turned off, or you don't have an account, well, I can't. So, sorry. Know that I love you in my heart of hearts.

Oh lordy, Baton Rouge, I haven't been there in like, two months. I miss LSU. Lavi, Y U GET CHICK-FIL-A ON CAMPUS? My stupid uni doesn't...


	4. Chapter 4

Well, my best friend in the world and muse for this story's birthday is today, so I'm updating a bit early :)

I don't think this story would be at all possible without her.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Four<span>

"_So what are you getting Lenalee for her birthday?"_ Lavi asks over the phone. Allen's lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"What?" He asks, startled. "Her birthday?"

"_Yeah, it's Monday. The twentieth_."

"No. No way. You're kidding. How did I not know?"

"_Because you're always too busy looking at her ass_?" He pauses. "_Oh wait, that's me_."

Allen laughs. "You have Miranda now; you can't say things like that anymore."

"_That drains all the fun out of it_," Lavi pouts. "_Anyway, I have an excuse, since I'm all the way in Red Stick; you're there with her. I would suggest something from Mignon Faget; expensive, but it may help in man's ever expanding quest to get into ladies' pants." _

"I really don't think your mind wanders past sex. Really." Allen rolls his eyes and sits up on his bed. Standing, he holds the phone between his ear and shoulder and moves to take Timcampi from his cage. The finch bats its wings happily as he does so, perching himself on Allen's index finger.

"_Woah, dude, is that a bird?"_

"Um, yes. His name's Timcampi. Say hello, Tim," Allen urges, holding the phone to the bird's beak. A sweet chirping noise sounds and Lavi whimpers.

"_It sounds so cuuuutttteeee. How come I've never met Tim?"_

"Because you've never been to my house."

"_Touché_." Lavi sighs and Tim flies from Allen's finger, to the top of his head.

Allen notices the window is open and frowns before shutting it.

"_Well, I suppose I need to get back to my homework. Let me tell ya, history majors never have a lack of work to do. It's like there are thousands of years' worth of this stuff or something_."

Allen laughs. "Alright, Lavi. I'll talk to you later."

"_Bye, _Mon Cheri." The line goes dead.

He's never understood that, really, the term _Mon Cheri_. Literally translated, it means my cherry. What do cherries have to do with anything?

* * *

><p>He really is no good at deciding what girls like, so, begrudgingly, he goes to Cross for advice. It's kind of awkward – he doesn't even know what to ask or how to ask it.<p>

"Spit it out, boy!" Cross growls. They've been sitting in the living room for five minutes, silent. "What the fuck do you want?"

"Well…Lenalee's birthday is Monday, and…" He pauses frowning. "I don't know what to get her."

"Lingerie." Cross says simply.

"Wha-?" Allen goes red in the face. He's pretty sure the blush reaches to the bottom of his neck with how intense it is. "There is no way! How could I ever do that?"

"You don't know her sizes, right? Let's see, I met her that one time. I'd say 34 C for bras – small for panties."

If possible Allen's face grows hotter. "No, no, no; that's not what I meant in the slightest!"

"Oh fine, then jewelry. All girls like jewelry." He waves his hand. "Something nice and expensive if you want to get next to a girl that looks like that."

"Why does everyone assume that I'm trying to have sex with her?" He exclaims, exasperated.

"Because you are. Well, if you aren't, then you're just gay. Because really, she's hot."

"She's _eighteen_, Godfather."

"Right on the cusp on womanhood. I enjoy that."

"And I'm not gay," Allen sighs. "Yes, she is…very attractive. I agree. And yes, I – she would be a lovely girl to date. But I'm not just trying to have sex with her."

"Gay," Cross points at him.

Allen lets out a sound of disgust. "Fine, whatever, I'll go to Mignon Faget like Lavi said."

"Ah, Mignon Faggot," the tall redhead reclines in his seat. Allen rolls his eyes at his deliberate mispronunciation. "That'll do the trick," He nods.

Another sound of disgust, this one reinforced by Allen standing up very quickly. "Thank you, _Godfather_. I think I understand now." _To never go to you for advice ever again._

"Now go chase tail, my protégé."

* * *

><p>The only reason he finds Canal Place is because he somehow convinces Kanda to show him the way. They take a bus into the Quarter, get off on Canal, and walk the rest of the way to the mall in silence. Neither of them even tries to start conversation, because, frankly, Allen kind of dislikes the guy standing next to him and Kanda is an anti-social asshole. The variety of shops they pass kind of surprises Allen, from clothing made of nothing but hemp to record stores that still sell actual records. When they get to Canal Place, Allen vaguely notes how, even though neither of them are going to speak to each other, they communicate in non-verbal ways.<p>

Kanda stomps forward in the direction Allen needs to go, stops when he needs to wait for Allen to catch up, turns when they stand in front of Mignon Faget.

"Do you think she'll actually like something like this?" Allen inquires, breaking the silence.

Kanda snorts in response. "How the fuck am I supposed to know?"

"You two have only been friends for like, twelve years," Allen rolls his eyes. "What are you getting her?"

"None of your business," Kanda growls.

"That means nothing as of yet, right?" Allen teases.

"That means none of your fucking business."

"All right, whatever," Allen sighs, walking into the store.

The first thing he notices is how clean it all looks. Of course, any store is going to look clean, but this has a different kind of clean to it. A rich kind of clean – even if that doesn't make any sense in his mind. Stores like this are all very new to him – because, really, he has never ever had to walk into a jewelry store before in his life. He's never really had any female friends, or girlfriends – or anything really.

The second thing he notices is how expensive it all looks. Really, Lenalee is a special and fantastic woman, but she isn't six hundred dollars special and fantastic. He doesn't even have six hundred dollars to his name right now.

But he swallows and walks through the store. It's really quite gorgeous, all the jewelry; he can't deny that. Even Kanda doesn't seem totally dispassionate about everything, contrary to his normal behavior.

Then he notices a collection and stops. But the ring in particular is what stops him. It's sterling silver, the lights in the room glint off of it in a miraculous fashion. Behind him, a salesperson says, "The Bamboo collection. That ring is Budded Node – fantastic really."

Allen looks behind him at the woman. "How much is it?"

She smiles at him. "Well, regularly it's two hundred and seventy five, but it's fifty percent off this week."

Ah, because of Valentine's Day.

He frowns a bit. One hundred and thirty-five dollars is really a lot of money. And he could probably get jewelry just as pretty from somewhere else, for a lot cheaper, but then he hears Kanda say:

"I'll take this."

Allen turns to watch as the saleswoman smiles and walks up to the long-haired Japanese man. "The crawfish pendant and chain? Yes, it's quite beautiful. Unfortunately it's not on clearance."

"I don't care," he says simply. The woman probably can't tell, but he's actually being kind of civil. The grimace on his face just never seems to leave.

She nods, "Well, just take it up to the register, then." Smiling, she turns back to Allen.

"Have you made a decision?"

"Um, how much was that necklace?"

"Ninety-five dollars."

"Yes, I think I'll take this ring."

Finally. He's beaten Kanda in _something_.

* * *

><p>After walking out of the store, he realizes that it probably wasn't a good idea to buy a one hundred and fifty dollar ring (Why is the tax rate so damn high in Louisiana?) on machismo alone. Mainly because, yes, he is rather smug that he bought something more expensive than Kanda's gift and she's totally going to love his more – but Kanda doesn't seem to give a shit either way.<p>

If anything, Kanda thinks he's won because his gift _wasn't_ as expensive.

It's a well-known fact that the more expensive a gift is, the better it is – right?

They're silent, making their way through Canal Place, until Allen's stomach growls. Kanda shoots him a sharp glare. "I'm sorry, all right? I haven't eaten since lunch. And I'm hungry."

"Is there ever a time when you aren't hungry? Fatty."

"Did I just hear the word fatty come out of your lips, Kanda? The dignified Kanda? The stoic Kanda? Did you just call me a fatty?"

Kanda turns away. Maybe out of the embarrassment that he's actually beginning to loosen up around Allen – maybe because they may actually become friends out of all of this. It's not going to happen yet, Allen doesn't even want it to happen yet, but he can kind of see what Lavi and Lenalee see in the guy.

He's kind of dedicated to his solemnity to a fault, but Allen can't really blame the guy. Allen knows about how going through things can change a person. He's kind of curious to know what the guy was like before Tiedoll died. Lenalee had said he was always a 'pissy kid,' but there's certainly a difference between pissy and the way he is now.

"Well I'm going to eat something." Allen says, then sighs and pauses. Out of politeness he asks, "Would you like to join me?"

Kanda's head snaps back in his direction. "Why would I want to go to dinner with a beansprout like you? I've seen you eat and it's disgusting."

"Fine then, you can go home and eat dinner by _yourself_. See if I care."

Kanda scoffs, loudly. There's a bit of silence where Allen isn't sure of whether to elaborate and tell him to go away, when Kanda says, "You'll end up getting lost if you don't go back with me."

In Kanda-speak, this might relate to something like, 'Oh my gosh, I'd _love_ to go to dinner with you.'

Blinking, sighing, generally doing anything to display his discontent, Allen says, "Where would you like to eat?"

Kanda shoots him a glance. "The Riverwalk is just down the street."

"T-the Riverwalk! Really? The place with Café Du Monde! Yes. Let's go there!"

By 'just down the street' Kanda means walking across Poydras, which is a busier street than Robert E. Lee an infinite number of times, and then turning onto Convention Center Boulevard and almost getting killed by New Orleanian drivers. Who, he's learned, are not the best in the world.

When they walk in, Allen is overcome with a strong feeling of nostalgia. Because this is where he first met his friends. And he can get his beignets here. He's been going to this other Café Du Monde in town that he found accidentally, but this one makes him especially happy.

But beignets are for after dinner.

For his actual meal, he decides to eat at this place called Cedar Grill.

Really, why don't they have po-boys everywhere? It's just an extraordinarily large sandwich, which is something Allen can definitely live with.

He orders a shrimp po-boy, a roast beef po-boy, a bag of chips, and a coke before picking out a seat and waiting for his order to be made. Kanda, when he arrives at the table, glares at it as if he's not sure of whether or not he _really_ wants to sit.

"I'm sorry if I assumed that most people don't find sitting in a seat confusing. I forget how dull you can be." Allen says, eliciting a growl from Kanda before he sits.

"If you weren't so fucking hopeless when it comes to directions, maybe I wouldn't have a hard time deciding whether it's worth to sit in front of you and get pelted by random bits of food or not."

"Ah, but Kanda, as an arse, you shouldn't care one way or the other if I get lost."

Kanda stays silent and Allen laughs at his victory before standing and retrieving his order. When he returns, he sits and begins eating. Kanda, across from him, of course opted for chicken – Cajun spiced chicken by the looks of it.

"Kanda, do you like spicy foods?"

"Why the fuck do you care?"

"Jesus, I was just wondering," Allen snaps, going back to eating his food. He'd rather eat without conversation anyway – it gives him a better concentration on his meal.

"I like most things if they aren't shit," Kanda says lowly, surprising Allen. "I'm not picky."

"Shit is kind of a relative term," Allen says, mouth full. Kanda's phone rings and he sighs, taking it out of his pockets and frowning at whoever's calling him.

Then his own phone rings. He looks at the caller ID, and notices its Lenalee. "Please tell me it's a coincidence that Kanda's phone and my phone are ringing at the same time," Allen answers.

On the other side of the table, Kanda growls out, "What the fuck do you want? And stop calling me by my first name."

"_Unfortunately, probably not,"_ Lenalee sighs. "_Lavi has taken it upon himself to sign us up for the Krewe of Bacchus."_

"Krewe of Bacchus?"

"_Yeah, have you ever been to a parade?"_

He thinks back, tries to remember. He's been to parades, but he doubts they're the same thing as what Lenalee's talking about. "No," he admits.

"No. Fuck no. No way in fucking hell," Kanda snaps. He's practically yelling into his phone, and people are starting to stare.

"_Mardi Gras parades have what's called a Krewe. It's kind of like – royalty, in a sense. There are a king and a queen; a prince and a princess."_

"Oh no," Allen whispers, seeing where this is going.

"_Yeah_," She says awkwardly. "_Really, it's a great honor. Lavi just happens to know people and somehow got us in – but I'm not worried about you or I…"_

Allen spares another glance at Kanda. His face is red with rage. Allen's kind of surprised that he hasn't broken the damn phone with the monster grip he has on it.

"What did Lavi do?"

"_He thought it'd be funny to make himself prince, you the king, me the princess and_ –"

Kanda the queen.

If Kanda didn't actually look like he was going to murder someone, he might find that unbearably funny.

"How? How did he manage that, if it's such a big deal? And – did he really think Kanda would say yes?"

"_Well, Lavi's grandfather is actually friends with the Brennan family. They're the ones that started the parade so long ago." _She avoids the second question.

"But – how, I just – I'm not even from New Orleans." He pauses. "Why the hell did he make me the king if Kanda is the queen?"

Kanda shoots him the scariest glare he's ever seen on the guy – it tops every scary movie he's ever seen and really, Lavi had better watch his back when he comes down for Mardi Gras.

"_It's not like he's put you in the running for president. You don't have to be a New Orleans native to be in a parade. And, well, Lavi showed the guy pictures of us apparently, and the Brennan he talked to agreed completely that we look the parts. In answer to your previous question…_" She pauses. "_Well, Lavi's not as much of an idiot as he seems. The thing about Kanda is that his pride extends beyond something like being queen and having to wear a dress or not. Lavi knows he's going to do it, because Kanda doesn't back down from anything. We've never known Kanda to back out of a challenge – even better, I'm sure Lavi is using his old 'I promised them already, so you have to do it' tactic. Kanda, in his own mind, doesn't have a choice in the matter."_

Allen is stunned speechless for a few seconds. "I guess I don't have a choice in the matter either, do I?"

Kanda seems to have finished his conversation with – well, it was probably Lavi from the way things sounded. He's taken to gripping his phone as tightly as possible and staring into his spicy chicken as though it's the most interesting thing in the world.

"_Well, technically you do. But really, it is a huge honor. I'm pretty excited for myself. And even better, as part of the Krewe, we'll automatically be invited to the private ball afterwards. The things are legendary and near impossible to get into unless you know people, as Lavi does. I've heard there have even been governors who've been denied in the past_."

Pressing his palm to his forehead, resting his elbow on the table, Allen says, "Really, who the hell _is_ Lavi?" How in the hell does he have so many connections? Well, such high-profile connections anyway.

"_No one knows_," Lenalee says mysteriously, laughing. "_Wait, why are you with Kanda?"_

"We're eating dinner."

She pauses. "_Like a date_?"

"What! No! We were just out –" _getting a present for you_ "- shopping." He finishes lamely.

"_That isn't helping your case_," she chuckles. "_Next time you end up going gay for one of my best friends, let me know."_

"No! No, that isn't…" he sighs. "Oh bollocks…"

"_See, now you're talking about balls_!"

"Come off it, Lenalee," He can't help but laugh a little. Giving up, he says, "Listen, I'll talk to you a bit later. I need to finish eating."

"_Oh all right, Allen_," there's a smile in her voice. "_Call me with all the juicy details later_."

He laughs, "Whatever."

"_Bye_!"

"Goodbye." He hits the end call button and looks over at Kanda very wearily.

The man is just sitting there, looking calmer than before, picking at his chicken. He tends to peel the skin off and eat it before eating the actual chicken – Allen just takes the 'shove it all into your mouth at one time' approach.

* * *

><p>When they're finished eating, nothing else is said. They throw away their food, remember to grab their Mignon Faget bags, and walk to the bus stop together.<p>

It's probably the most boring walk of his life. The air is cold and hurts his lungs, and Kanda is just silently fuming-but-not-fuming beside him. Almost like he even has too much pride to even show he's aggravated about the situation – which is such a contradiction to Kanda's character it's ridiculous.

The bus ride is better, because at least he can watch the places that pass with mild interest, and when they get to the bus stop by their houses, they split up saying just as few words as before.

He completely forgot about his beignets.

He realizes how exhausted he is when he walks in the door. It's been kind of a long day. But Cross decides it's the day to have a conversation with his godchild.

"So what'd ya get her?" He asks, nosy but trying his best to seem nonchalant.

Allen sighs, leaning against the wall. "I got her a ring."

"Boy, it's a bit early to be covering up the fact that you're gay with marriage."

Allen sneers at him. Why was everyone calling him gay today? "Not a wedding ring." He takes the box from the bag around his wrist and hands it to his godfather.

Cross opens it and nods thoughtfully. "How much was it?"

"Hundred and fifty," he says, tired. "I'm aware I won't be able to afford food for a month."

"Kid, you're starting to understand priorities. Women over food."

Cross kind of disgusts him, so he begins his way towards his room. "I'm tired, so I'm going to sleep." He says as he snatches the ring from Cross's fingers.

"Good, you could use some beauty sleep."

For some reason, that night he dreams of running away.

* * *

><p>Lenalee has a party that weekend. It's at her house and it's only a little awkward because he and Kanda are the only boys there with the exception of Komui. Everyone else is a girl. Girls Lenalee has never even mentioned.<p>

What makes it worse is that they actually try to talk to him.

It's almost like a flip is switched at six, because that's when he's bombarded by members of the opposite sex.

"Woah," one of them says. It's a girl with long blonde hair – she's way too pretty to be talking to him. Why is she talking to him? "Your tattoo is so cool! Guys with ink are so hot."

"Er, thanks?" His accent must be some kind of mating call for women, 'cause about four or five girls crowd up on him.

"Are you from England?" A girl with severely choppy, pink hair asks.

"Yeah," he manages out.

"That is so amazing. You sound so awesome!"

"Thanks…"

"And your hair!" Another says, this a girl with blacker than black hair and deep brown eyes. "Is it dyed?"

"Um, no. It's natural."

"So your hair is naturally white-blonde? That's so cool! Not many people can attest to that. Not even me," The first girl says. "I dye my hair."

"Well, it used to be darker…it just…lightened a lot."

"You are so cool!" The second girl swoons.

Um no. He is so awkward. Like, on fifty different levels. Across the room, Lenalee winks at him and he blushes. It looks like Kanda isn't fairing any better either. And he doesn't seem to like the attention.

"Thanks," he says again, blinking.

"Hey, would you wanna like, hang out sometime?" The first blonde asks.

"No way! He wants to hang out with me, right!" The black haired girl butts in.

"Did he ever say he wanted to hang with either of you?" A girl with shoulder length brown hair growls.

_What the shit is happening_? Like, really. He must be dreaming. That's all this is. Because girls never, ever do this kind of crap around him. Never. They're usually put off. Did Lenalee put them up to this?

"Time for cake!" Komui calls, smiling as the girls run into the kitchen, but frowning when Allen tries to as well. Kanda doesn't seem to care; he's sitting in a seat, seemingly glad to be rid of the attention. "Lenalee! Why did you invite these dirty boys!" Komui cries, walking into the kitchen as well.

"Because they're my friends, Brother."

"Why do you need to have friends that are boys?"

"I can think of a few reasons," one of the girls smiles – it's one of the ones he was talking to. She's eyeing him in thirty different uncomfortable ways and it makes him fidgety.

Lenalee glares a bit at the girl. "Lenalee! It isn't true, right! These boys aren't doing anything like _that_, are they!" He turns to Allen, pure death and murder and all things unholy displayed on his face. "If they are, I'll be sure to make them _stop_."

"No! No, of course not! They're just friends. Besides, you don't have to worry. Kanda and Allen are dating."

Komui seems a bit more satisfied with that, but Allen freezes. His entire body locks up. Literally, he feels like his brain is starting to malfunction.

"What! No! No we aren't! We just went to get _food_," he cries out. Everyone in the room looks really suspicious of him. "No! That is actually disgusting."

One of the girl's whines out, "Awww, the good ones are always gay." There are a few murmurs of agreement.

"I promise I'm not gay. Like, really. Kanda and I aren't going out. We never will go out. I will never date another man." The girl closest to him frowns a bit and he lets out a cry of frustration. "I promise! Watch!"

He sweeps the girl up in his arms and kisses her lightly. Then he realizes what he's doing and backs the hell away – slowly.

He's never actually kissed anybody before. Did he just steal his own first kiss? Everything in the room is moving in slow motion. Really. What the hell. What the _hell_. How did he, Allen Walker, just kiss some random girl at Lenalee Lee's eighteenth birthday party with Komui Lee standing there looking ready for murder and the girls around him giving him a mixture of blushes and squeals and groans of frustration. The girl he kissed looks about ready to faint.

He didn't even like it that much, kissing that girl. Shouldn't he have enjoyed it more? It was just a peck on the lips, but really – well, it was obviously just because she meant nothing to him.

"Allen!" Lenalee gasps, laughing. "You had better have a really awesome gift to make up for breaking that poor girl's heart just to prove something that may or may not be true."

"Ah! Yes," he says, slipping past Komui, hoping to God above the man doesn't ring his neck for what he just did. "I'll just go get that then."

As he leaves the kitchen, he swears he hears something along the lines of, 'You bitch! How dare you kiss him! I was totally gonna be the first one!' But he has to be imagining that.

He grabs the bag he set by the door earlier, but stops when he notices Kanda's raised eyebrow is directed at him.

"What?"

"What the fuck did you just do in there?"

"I…" he scratches his nose. "Kissed a girl to prove I wasn't gay."

There's an awkward silence for a few seconds.

Then Kanda says, "I'm not convinced."

"Ugh, you are such a –"

"Allen! Kanda, get in here! Stop making out!"

"They have got to stop that," Allen bristles, turning on his heel and stomping towards the kitchen. Really, it's taking a lot of self-control not to snap at Kanda or – even worse, Lenalee – but he feels a little better after eating some cake. Well – a lot of cake.

"Wow, how do you stay so skinny?" One of the girl's asks. "That's really amazing."

"Fast metabolism," he shrugs.

When everyone's done eating cake, it's time for presents. Allen insists that his be opened last, so she opens all the girls' presents first.

The presents range from music to – oh god of all things – _underwear_. Really, Allen almost died. Almost. His heart stopped at least twice.

Then she opens Kanda's. He's left his in the Mignon Faget bag out of laziness or just not giving a shit, so the gleam in her eye tells Allen that, yes, she likes jewelry. Lavi and Cross were not wrong. Go figure.

She pulls out a long, slim box and gasps when she opens it. There's the necklace, shiny as when they bought it last week. "Kanda!" She laughs, setting the box down on the side and practically tackling him with a hug. He stiffens, standing there as she hugs him. "It's so amazingly perfect and beautiful and _thank you_."

He apparently can't even bring himself to say 'you're welcome.'

Allen, on the other hand, changed out the bag, so she isn't sure of what it is when she pulls the stuffing out and pulls out a smaller, more square-like box. She looks like she's ready to cry when she opens it.

"It's not a wedding ring," he clarifies with a smile.

She laughs and shakes her head, actually tackling him to the ground with her hug. He isn't sure of whether Kanda had a better center of gravity and wasn't going to let a girl take him down, or if she just attacked him more ferociously.

"I, uh, had no idea what your ring size was, so I guessed."

Still laughing, she takes the ring out from the box and tries it on her right ring finger. "It's perfect," she smiles. Then she takes the necklace from its case and asks Kanda, "Will you put this on for me?"

Sighing, he takes the necklace and pushes her hair out of the way, hooking it at the nape of her neck.

"Seriously, how did you manage to find guys like that?" One of her friends asks.

She smiles. "Guess it was just luck."

She looks at Allen and – oh hell yeah the ring was worth it.

* * *

><p>After the party that night, Kanda and Allen decide to take the bus home together. Well, it's more like 'the only bus that goes anywhere near their houses is on its last run and hell if they aren't getting on the damn thing.' They're silent towards each other, but it's a relaxing silence. The darkness of the night is soothing, and Allen doesn't completely mind it.<p>

When they get off at the bus stop, Allen says, "Well, you weren't a complete douchebag today, so congratulations."

"Can't say the same for you," Kanda retorts. They start walking towards Music. "Kissing that girl out of nowhere."

"Okay, look; that was something I did on impulse. It certainly isn't going to happen again."

Kanda rolls his eyes. "Of course not. Like any girl would ever let you near their mouth."

"So who are you today, the pot or the kettle?" Allen asks, crossing his arms.

Kanda settles for silence and when they hit Music Allen turns left and Kanda turns right, making his way up the street until turning onto New York.

This gives him time to think. Because he only has two weeks to get throws, a decent mask, and a formal outfit. He totally doesn't have the money for this shit. And besides, what is he even supposed to do? He's never been to a parade. He's heard the stories. What if women are taking off their shirts everywhere? _What is he supposed to do_?

Ah, Lavi will probably know.

* * *

><p>Oh god you guys, Mardi Gras is coming up. I had to split it into two chapters, but I might do a double post since I'm so far ahead in writing. (Like, up to chapter 10 already. How exciting is that?) So look out for two chapters next Monday. :) I can't know if you enjoy it if you don't review! :D Or if you hate it lol. That works too.<p>

Also, in Bacchus, there isn't a prince or a princess. I just - well, I couldn't very well leave Lavi and Lenalee out. How mean would that be?


	5. Chapter 5

**In the past there have been many kings – Hulk Hogan, Val Kilmer. This Mardi Gras, witness the rise of power with – ALLEN WALKER. **

**Lol really, I like, checked past Bacchus kings and shit and it's always these really famous celebrities. Then ole' Al. Ah yes, it all fits very nicely. **

**Also, well, Bacchus doesn't actually have a prince or princess, but I couldn't just leave Lenalee and Lavi out like that! It wouldn't be very kind at all. So yes, there is that inconsistency. Sorry about that. We all know how much I hate those, but I feel better addressing it now. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five<strong>

His grades have been dropping. It isn't really that the schools in America are any more difficult than the ones in England (They certainly aren't any _easier_ either), but it could be due to the fact that he spends hours upon hours on the phone with Lavi and Lenalee each night. Sometimes in three-way calls, sometimes separately, but every night. He wonders how they aren't tired of each other, but maybe this is just the way good friends act. It's new to him.

Well, he's had friends in the past, when he lived in England, but they were different. They saw each other each day at school, so there wasn't much of a point to talking to them on the phone every night. But even then, when they were in school, they only spoke during lunch. Allen realizes now that he must have been a bit lonely, that he wasn't as potentially happy as he could be.

As he is.

Lenalee and Lavi and admittedly (albeit grudgingly) Kanda have filled some emptiness in his heart that he hadn't even noticed until he felt full for the first time in a long time.

Cross keeps telling him to study more, but his friends are a bit of an addiction for him – just dangerous in a non-conventional way.

So that's why he's speaking with Lavi instead of doing his annotations in his AP Biology text. Which, really, isn't a good idea, but – well, it's Lavi and Lavi's kind of hard to say no to. He's extremely charismatic.

"_Anyway, since you weren't really making any moves to do so, I ordered your costume and mask_."

"What! Without me looking at them? Why!"

"_Because, Al, it's more fun this way. Listen, trust Papa Lavi. He's got you covered, baby_."

"Stop that."

"_You don't like it?"_ Lavi's tone of voice seems to frown. "_But that isn't what you said last night_!"

"I'm pretty sure I say that every night."

"_Meh. Whatever. We both know you like it, so deny it all you want_."

"How do you always manage to completely change the subject?"

"_I have many a talent, my dear child. Many a talent."_

"You calling me your dear child is actually the creepiest thing I've ever heard you say. And you say fairly creepy things on a regular basis."

He hears a rustle of clothing on the other side of the phone and realizes Lavi's shrugging. "_Oh, hey – do you have a Skype_?"

"Skype? The computer program?"

"_Yeah, we can like, IM and webcam and shit – it's rad."_

"I'm not up to date on my American slang, but I'm fairly certain no one's said rad since the '90's."

"_Ouch, little man."_

"Okay, it is bad enough Kanda, the bastard, calls me a beansprout. Go ahead and just pour a carton of salt on the wound."

"_It only hurts 'cause it's true, and you know it."_

"Whatever."

"_Anyway, Skype. Do you have one?"_

"No."

"_Well get it!"_

"What if I told you I didn't have a laptop?"

"_I'd say it's impractical for a boy in this day and age to watch porn any other way, so yes – you do have one." _

"I would really appreciate it if we didn't talk about porn, just saying. Yes, I have a laptop. I'll download it tonight."

"_Sweet_."

Afterwards, when he does download it, he adds Lavi, then Lenalee, and he's just found another way to distract himself from schoolwork.

* * *

><p>He's been told it's good to start thinking about a major in college now, but - well, it's not so easy. How do you choose what you want to spend the rest of your life doing? He doesn't even really know what he likes. Past his friends and poker and food, there isn't much there. He guesses he can always be a professional cheat and just hustle people till the day he dies, but that life doesn't seem all that fulfilling.<p>

So he sits in his room, lets Timcampi flutter around a bit, and just thinks.

He loves food, and he's pretty good at cooking, so he could always go into the culinary arts, but he feels like he's just going to end up eating instead of cooking.

A dealer in a casino? No, it's not as fun for him that way. He only loves it when he wins, and the casino might not look kindly upon a cheating dealer.

Is there such a thing as a professional friend? Well, past escorts, most likely not. And really – being an escort is not high on his list of things he'd like to do with his life. Besides, it's not like that would help him understand what he wants to study in college. He's certain there are no degrees in 'whoreing.'

* * *

><p>He ends up not talking to anyone that night, except for Cross at dinnertime, and falls asleep early.<p>

When he wakes up the morning of the Bacchus parade, there's this dark sense of foreboding and – yep, his life starting today, and until the eighth, is going to be complete hell. He hasn't had any time to go to other parades and prepare himself, because he's been so damn busy getting ready for this monster – Bacchus. Lavi keeps promising him everything is going to stay dandy, but he doesn't really trust Lavi that much.

His unseen outfit is still at the tailors, so he dresses in his normal clothes and begins breathing exercises, because he realizes he's probably going to _die_ sometime tonight.

And really, everything is so ridiculous; in the past, there have been famous celebrities. And oh yeah, Allen Walker is the king of Bacchus this year. No one is going to know who in the hell he is. Hopefully people don't start throwing beads at _him_.

He meets with Lavi and Lenalee at the tailors around noon; has to leave the fitting room because, yes, Lavi and Lenalee are both half naked. Miranda's there too, red in the face, watching them as they dress, but Allen just cannot do it. _They_ may be long-time friends, but Allen doesn't trust himself to not have a heart attack at Lenalee in nothing but the bottom half of her outfit.

"Why do we have to be in these things all day!" He asks them from outside the door.

"So people know of our regality!" Lavi answers back.

Regality. Is that even a word?

"What if I don't want people to know of my _regality_?"

"Then you're a horrible king!"

"I _am_ a horrible king, though. Why am I even here? Why'd you _make_ me the king?"

"I can't tell you that," Lavi laughs, puts a flourish on the last word. "Because if I did, you wouldn't let it happen, and things need to take their natural course."

"I'm worried," Allen whispers more to himself than anyone else in the room. Really, he figures it's in his best interest to always be worried when it comes to Lavi's plans. Or really – anything with Lavi.

It seems to take years for them to get into costume, and when they walk out, he understands.

Lenalee looks stunning in her gold, strapless dress. The tailor walks out of the room behind her and says, in a jargon he can't quite claim to understand, "Ah, Tony Bowls, always designing gorgeous dresses for both proms and Mardi Gras balls. Isn't she just the most beautiful princess? The mermaid silhouette is just beautiful on her, with those long legs. And the way the chiffon and embroidery work together to create that harmony – just wonderful. You certainly have a lovely eye, miss."

She flushes a bit. Allen certainly understood the long legs part. She does have wonderfully long legs.

And then Lavi steps out.

And Allen must say, the guy knows how to clean up. He's slicked his red hair back, removed his strange headband, actually dressed in something decent. Well, it still seems slightly on the ridiculous side, but at least it looks halfway normal. It's an olive green suit, white button up with a purple tie – there's a rather small yet imperial looking crown atom his head. "A.C., let me tell you, does a fabulous job on menswear. They've designed your costume as well, Mr. Walker," The tailor smiles.

He left it to the tailor to decide everything for him – since, really, he has no idea about anything related to fashion at all – so he's worried. Well – it's just another thing to be nervous about, he guesses.

"Come on in the back," The tailor says, motioning towards the curtain separating the rooms. He nods, stiffly, and notices Miranda holding a large white bag. It's draped against her arms and she almost seems to be cradling it.

"Did you get a dress too, Miranda?" He asks.

She nods, shyly. "Yes, for the ball."

Oh, right – the ball, yes…how could he ever forget? That thing was tomorrow night. Oh joyous day.

He follows the tailor into the back and stands stiffly as she sifts through bags and bags of what must be clothing. The hangers scrape against the metal rack in a migraine-inducing manner, and he wonders whether or not he'll be able to make it. Yes – technically he is just sitting in a chair, but he feels all sick and woozy all over. Speaking of things that make him sick and woozy…

"Hey, Lavi," he calls. "Where's Kanda?"

"Oh, our queen? Yes, she's decided we're not worth her gracing us with her presence until the parade. I think she may avoid us until the ball, actually, though that'll be no fun."

Allen's kind of 50/50 on this, because really, he does want to see and incessantly tease Kanda, but really – they guy is an annoying bastard most of the time, and Allen doesn't need any added stress.

"Have either of you guys ever stood in a parade?"

"Huh, oh yeah, I've been doing it for three years now." Lavi laughs. "It's nothing to be worried about, really. The only key factor, the only way to truly have a good time – you gotta get piss-ass drunk. I mean, really. Otherwise, it's just screaming children sitting on daddy's shoulders and beating the float until you give them the goddamn spear."

Allen has no idea what he means. None at all. But that's all right.

"Is there another option? One where I don't have to get 'piss-ass drunk?'"

"Get high?"

"…"

"Kidding! You'd probably end up getting the munchies like, halfway through the dame parade route anyways. And I don't think they'd let you eat the moon pies on the float."

Allen frowns. "All right," he says, and the tailor makes a happy noise before bounding over to him.

"Found it!" She smiles brightly. "Okay, I'm gonna hang this here, and then you strip down and I'll help you get into it."

"Err…is there a way for me not to strip in front of you?"

She cocks an eyebrow at him. "Right, awkward seventeen year old – sorry, I forget. Your friend Lavi seemed all up for getting naked."

"That's sounds rather like Lavi, yes."

"Well, I can't leave you with the suit, 'cause it's a rental, so how about I turn around?" She spins on her heel. "When you're done, I'll give you the pants and you can put on those on."

He nods, then realizes she can't see him. "Thank you," he says in an exasperated whisper. He tugs off his shirt first, throwing it absentmindedly on the floor, then pulls off his pants. "Um…pants please," he says, shifting back and forth uncomfortably and without much finesse. She laughs and hands him the pants without turning around. They're just normal, white, suit bottoms. He tugs them on and flushing, says, "Done."

He breathes out a sigh of relief at the plain white shirt, and she lets out this extremely loud bark of a laugh. "Don't relax just yet," she tells him. "The fun is just around the bend."

His eyes widen as she props the bag open and he sees folds and folds of fabric.

It's gonna be so hot underneath all that.

* * *

><p>He's turned away from the mirror the entire time she's dressing him, and she does have to actively dress him, because some of the shit on his body is just too awkward for him to put on by himself.<p>

Then he turns towards the mirror and furrows his eyebrows.

It's strange, because rather than ridiculous, he thinks he looks…kind of cool – kind of like a real king. Yes the outfit is heavy and it is hot and it is itchy, but he also gets to wear this really cool drapery that's kind of similar to a cape. The collar of it is turned up, wraps around his head and meets at points; the sleeves puff and then reign in at his wrists.

"Almost forgot the most important thing," she says, reaching behind them to get something. He watches in the mirror as she places a large, gold and black crown on his head. It kind of falls to the side a bit, but he's okay with that, because it still looks natural.

The tailor gets on one knee and holds her hand to her heart. "My liege, King Allen Walker," she grins.

Maybe this won't be _so_ bad…

* * *

><p>When he walks into the large field that the floats occupy, he's rendered speechless for a few seconds. There must be twenty or twenty-five floats here, all big and all intricate and all beautiful. They've only come here so that Lavi can speak to one of the Brennans, but he kind of wants to stay and just survey the wonderful pieces of art.<p>

The one closest to him is two-stories, as most are, and the front has a mermaid on it. She's pale skinned and pale haired and her tail is a bright, bright blue. The sides of the float are painted – depicted there are scenes of the world underneath the ocean. There are fish, reefs, everything.

There's space on each level for people to stand and what looks like a large room in the middle, probably where they store most of their throws. Racks already hold a few beads and he notices a large, white garbage bag that holds probably fifty stuffed animals. And then – there – the spears Lavi was probably talking about.

If he was a kid, he'd probably want one, too. They're about two and a half feet long, with plastic arrow-heads and feathers. And they just look _fun_.

But it's really hard to walk around in his outfit, so he just stands in his one spot, tries not to get too exhausted just from the weight of the clothing. The parade starts at four and it's –

"Lenalee," he calls to her a few feet away. "What time is it?"

"Almost one. We're going to go get food after this and then our masks and then we should be settling ourselves on our respective floats."

Right. Almost one.

When they leave to go eat, they end up going through the drive-through somewhere because, well, walking into a restaurant the way they looked would be kind of embarrassing. Allen kind of covers himself in napkins so he doesn't mess up the costume (the rented costume – the one thousand dollar costume; it's all in the goddamn cape and crown) and ends up looking like something related to a mummy. It gives Lavi and Lenalee a good laugh until Lavi almost spills ketchup on his suit. Then no one's laughing. Well, Allen's kind of laughing evilly in his head – but they can't hear that.

They make sure to eat quickly, cleanly, on the way to the Venetian masque boutique. When they arrive, for fun, Allen sweeps inside grandiosely – chin up, cape swishing around him – then he realizes people are actually in the store and he feels very small and shy suddenly. He bows his head a little as Lavi and Lenalee come in after him, laughing. He shoots them a half-hearted glare, but it doesn't intimidate anyone.

There's a woman at the front counter. She's blonde and tall and pretty, with piercing eyes and a purple uniform. She seems bored out of her mind, like she'd rather be anywhere, but when a man walks from the back, she lights up. The man is even taller than Lavi – towering almost. He has dark hair save a white strip that is gelled back and he's wearing a black suit. He's kind of daunting in a way, dark and almost sensual – like a vampire.

He smiles at them and Allen gives him a shaky smile in return.

"Ah, you three must be here to pick up your masks for Bacchus. Your queen already picked his up; I was kind of surprised the four of you didn't come together."

"I think Yu's a bit angry with us," Lavi laughs.

"Us? No, I think Kanda's a bit angry with _you_," Allen clarifies.

Lavi shrugs. "Details."

The man (vampire?) leads them to the room he just came from and as soon as light floods the room, Allen has to repress a strong urge to gasp. He swallows at the rows and rows of beautiful masks, eyes flickering from the ovens in the far right corner to the clay modeling table that lies near them. It's a huge room, but the vastness is lost on the fact that it's so cluttered.

Still, they walk through easily and make their ways through the racks of masks. Allen kind of expects to feel some kind of heat coming from the oven, but he doesn't. The man notices Allen's furrowed eyebrows and where his gaze is directed, and smiles.

"I only use the ovens in the dead of night so the room doesn't get too hot. Even with the AC cranked up in here, it tends to get rather hot in the middle of the day. Not for us, but for the masks." Allen nods a bit and continues following him until he abruptly stops and turns to them. "Miss Lenalee, your mask is first." He picks up a beautiful, pale-colored mask, one that would cover just her eyes and says, "A macramé mask, as you've requested. Silver, so as not to clash with the gold in your dress; embroidered, but not too heavily." He hands it to her and she holds it lightly in her hands. "The handle," he hands her a matching silver stick that attaches to the side of it.

He turns around again and hands Lavi an eye mask as well. It's a beautiful bronzed color, looks worn and old even though it's obviously not. It's almost antiqued looking. "A Colombina Barocco for Mister Lavi. Gold trim, bronzed finish. Antiqued. A subdued look so as not to overpower the rest of your outfit." He hands Lavi the handle, and the redhead immediately holds it up to his face. It looks quite nice next to his skin tone as well.

"Finally," he turns around to grab what must be Allen's mask. He doesn't even realize he's holding a breath until he sees the thing and tries to inhale but can't. "Mister Allen, I don't believe we've met. My name is Arystar Krory, and I own this masque boutique. Your friends have decided upon an excellent mask for yourself. Poker Lux is her name. Silver and Black finish, very mysterious. Detailed in extraordinary ways – this took longer than your queen's, and his is much larger. Do take special care of her." He sets the mask in Allen's hand, and he almost doesn't want to have responsibility over such a thing. It's heavy, but not stiff, seems to fit into his palms perfectly. It's an eye mask, so it isn't going to cover his entire face, and – really, what if something does happen to it? It seems like such a work of art, having anything happen to it would be a real tragedy. Krory hands him the handle and then they leave.

Once outside, they pay for their masks and then Lenalee checks her phone for the time. It's about three in the afternoon, so they really have to get to the float yard quickly. They crowd into the car and Lavi drives as fast as he can without getting caught by streetlight cams or running into other vehicles. When they arrive at the yard, it's even busier than earlier.

People are scurrying around, putting last minute finishing's on random things. They step out of the car, Allen very careful not to dirty the costume in any way, and they are immediately rushed to their floats. Allen almost thinks he catches sight of something very large and very purple in the distance, but shrugs it off as feather boas and climbs on board his float.

It's one level, unlike the regular floats, and he soon realizes all the Krewe's floats are one level, like his. Well, he sees Lavi's. He can't see Lenalee's or Kanda's from where he is.

The pages step on board with him, in black suits, and smile as they take their positions at the edges, plastic bags filled with beads being lugged behind them. The beads spill out like rainwater, and even if they are plastic, they still look beautiful in the Louisiana sunlight.

He sits in his seat in the middle back and looks around him. It's a wonderful sight, really. He'd never ever imagined he'd be doing something like this, and at first he was kind of apprehensive, but the situation is growing on him. Everyone around him is happy, and the feeling is ubiquitously contagious.

He kind of sits there for a long while, watching others busy themselves, and ends up nodding off to sleep. He hadn't gotten very much sleep last night with all the nervousness he'd been feeling, but now that he's calmer…

He's waken by a gentle but sturdy hand on his shoulder. He blinks his eyes open and squints at the face in front of him. It's one of the pages. "I'm sorry, but you have to wake up now. We're about to turn onto the parade route."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" he exclaims, sitting a little straighter in his seat and looking around. Sure enough, they're moving, being pulled by a tractor. In front of his float is a high-school band – they aren't playing anything, but they're marching in perfect time. He wakes up a bit more as time goes on, excitement settling in his stomach to replace the nervousness and apprehension. There are people crowded around on either side of the float – all kinds of people; he's never seen such diversity and vastness in his life, even back in London.

There are children and elderly people, conservative and liberal, every race under the sun, women scantily clad, men holding hands.

It's kind of beautiful in a way. Culturally beautiful.

Then everyone stops.

Then the parade begins.

* * *

><p>The marching band starts with a steady drumroll, marching with the counts Allen almost sings in his head. He waves to people, smiling as he passes them. Well, turns out he doesn't have to throw anything, but he kind of wishes he could. Everyone's hands are raised; they've pressed themselves against the sides of the float, screaming at the pages for beads as if they're precious gold. Broken plastic lies on the ground unnoticed; people back away again as the float moves.<p>

Gigantic horses move to flank either side of the float. Police officers are riding them, and – really – those are huge goddamn horses. What the hell do they feed the things to get them so large?

It seems the officers have beads as well. Why is it that everyone can throw things except for him? He remembers Lavi saying something about it – why could even the prince and princess throw crap? Lame.

Finally he sighs harshly, motions at one of the pages, who looks at him questioningly, and he asks if he can _please_ throw some beads. He laughs at him a bit, his eyes crinkling with the truth behind his smile, and he hands him a bag of his own beads. He thanks him and promises to pay him back before opening the bag, untangling the first bead and tossing it.

A teenage girl catches it, smiling, holding hands with her boyfriend. He puts it around her neck and Allen tries not to feel a little jealous. Not of the girl, of course – obviously the boy. Yes. The boy. He blinks and tosses another. It's green and it connects with the hand of a small boy on some kind of very, very tall stool. He's never seen anything like it; it's wooden, and really, it just looks like a stool except for the fact that it sits at about six feet in the air.

His hand feels something soft next and he realizes it's a stuffed animal. Smiling, he tosses it to his right, not watching to see where it lands – not caring much, just knowing that Mardi Gras is probably the greatest festival on Earth.

About halfway through the parade route he runs out of throws, so he concedes to sit forward in his chair and smile brightly and wave and gesture at people in friendly ways. At one point, he dips his head in respect to a beautiful woman and his crown falls off his head. There's laughing, but he isn't really embarrassed because, well, it's a heavy crown.

He's glad for the unusually cool air today, because he really doesn't want to get sweat stains on the costume.

He's also glad that he doesn't have to wear his mask for the parade – the thing would probably end up on the ground and a Budweiser horse would step on it and then everything would go all to hell.

By the end of the parade, he's just glad he didn't see any naked people. Maybe it's all a myth, or maybe Bacchus is just more virtuous and family-oriented – it doesn't matter. It's just all happy faces and broken beads on the ground and hilariously drunk young adults stumbling around. He's just very sad that it's all over – it was a bit of a treat to see all those amazingly joyful people. The cheering, the signs, the 'throw me something mister's; the RVs, the tables, the lawn chairs, the picnics – he kind of wishes he could participate alongside the crowd, to push against the floats and throw his hands up and – well, he doesn't want to get pelted in the head with a plastic cup, because that looks painful – but everything else seems like so much fun.

When he mentions this to Lavi, stepping from the float and reveling in the cool breeze, the man says, "Dude, Saint Patrick's Day is next Thursday. That's when you get to pelt people with cabbages!"

That doesn't sound as fun for the people getting pelted with cabbages.

* * *

><p>Afterwards, there's an after-parade party. According to Lavi, the only parades who have these are Bacchus and Indemion, so it's cool that he gets to attend such a party.<p>

Begrudgingly, Lavi allows them to change into street clothes, seeing as it would be a disaster if any of them were to get their outfits dirty, and end up meeting with Kanda by a funnel cake booth.

There are loads of people here and the ground is already littered with various cans and papers; he hates to imagine what it'll look like by the end of the concert. Apparently it's generally the Grand Marshall who sings, but he doesn't remember seeing any celebrities, so he doesn't even know who's going to be performing. Although, the very large banner that says 'Tears for Fears' on it is probably a good indication as to who it is.

Kanda, actually, looks excited in his own, Kanda way. Mainly, he doesn't look like he's ready to rip someone's head off. Allen didn't expect Lavi to live very long after the two of them saw each other again, but – there's almost a smile on the Japanese man's face.

"Oh, Kanda," Lavi smiles. "Look, there's a feather in your hair." The redhead reaches around and pulls a purple feather, presumably from a feather boa.

"Wait…Were you that very large, purple thing I saw when we were boarding the floats?" Allen asks, incredulous. That someone like Kanda, _Kanda_, could wear something so degrading and still hold his head up high like he's the manliest bastard in this place – Allen is slightly endeared. Well, maybe not. Maybe Kanda is the only man on the planet who could wear such a ridiculous thing and still have some shred of pride left. Either way, he wishes he could have seen it. It would have been a glorious opportunity for teasing him.

Because Allen is not above that. Not even a little bit.

Kanda doesn't grace him with an answer, but he does look towards the stage, eyebrows relaxed and lips not pursed and –

Allen swears he isn't insane, but…

He's sure he's seeing something like a real Kanda smile.

Not a smirk or a smug grin, but an actual, content smile. Granted, his mouth isn't turned up, and his eyes aren't crinkling, but when the guy relaxes his face, he doesn't seem so bad. Allen can actually set it aside that he has nothing but contempt for him and just – relax.

"When you stop checking Kanda out, I bet we can totally get back stage." Lavi smiles. Allen turns to glare at him, but – Jesus Christ Kanda's lips are turned up and he's – smiling. Even more than before. Allen really didn't think it was possible on someone so dispassionate about everything. But, well, Kanda has always loved Eighties music, so it makes sense that something like meeting Tears for Fears would make him happy. Ugh, any sentence implying happiness and Kanda just seems wrong and awkward, like a dog on its hind legs. But – well, it's there.

Is his expression maybe a little bit…cute? Eyes all excited and lips all turned up and hands clenched in something like hope.

Nope. Kanda will never, ever be cute in his eyes. That's reserved for Lenalee.

He looks at her, but is kind of surprised when he doesn't get the usual swell of feelings. He blinks at her and she smiles.

Weird.

* * *

><p>Unfortunately, they weren't able to get backstage, but it was all still fun because they were able to get so close. A couple of people actually recognized them sans Kanda, because, well, he wasn't in his giant purple bird-like outfit. And that can alter the appearance of someone slightly.<p>

When Allen goes home that night, sitting on the bus next an unusually talkative Kanda (though he's only spoken a few, civil words, it is still unusual for him) he stares out the window and kind of wonders why all of a sudden, out of almost nowhere, he isn't head over heels for the beautiful Lenalee. She's still beautiful to him, yes, but – that feeling is gone. Strangely, though, he doesn't feel empty, but like the feeling has been replaced by something a bit stronger – an admiration maybe? Friendship? He can't place it really. It feels like he should, like it's something important that he should understand, but he can't fathom what it could possibly be.

He looks at Kanda, then out the window again.

Was this just another day?

* * *

><p>Chapter six will be updated tomorrow or Wednesday. Probably tomorrow, but I have to drive back up to my university and that's A LOT of driving, so I'm not sure, but I really want to update these together. Not on the same day, but, you know, together. Hope you enjoyed it! Please review!<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

**OMFG YOU GUYS. I JUST READ 208! THAT IS THE MOST EPIC SHIT LIKE EVER. KANDA HAD ME HHHHNNNNNGGGG-ING THE ENTIRE TIME. SERIOUSLY HE IS A GIGANTIC HUNK OF MAN-CANDY.**

**Oh yes. Enjoy the ball.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six<strong>

This time, luckily, he doesn't have to wear the costume all day. He doesn't really have to do anything all day – he doesn't have to meet them at the hotel until six in the evening, so he's able to do anything he wants. There's a pile of schoolwork next to his bed, and well, he could do that, but that just seems too much like work. Allen figures that America can rub off on people, because he feels damn lazy most of the time.

Instead, he opts to hop downstairs and cook breakfast. He's feeling especially giddy for some reason, and he isn't quite sure of what it is. Probably because of the ball, and, well, the sight of Kanda in a dress is just a hilarious image that he can't seem to get out of his mind. What color would it be? What kind of cut? How would his hair be done; would they leave it down, or make it an up-do?

He places some bacon on a pan and watches as it sizzles.

Not that any of that really matters – regardless of what Kanda looks like, Allen is going to tease him. Even if he shows up in a tux.

Then he wonders, very briefly, if Lenalee will wear her golden dress again. It looked nice on her, so he hopes so. And Lavi – will he wear his green suit? The olive color looks good on him.

He pours himself a glass of orange juice and watches as the pulp settles.

Is Cross going to wake up soon? He kind of wants to eat in peace. If Cross is awake and griping at him, peace will be the last thing on his mind. Well, peace is the last thing on his mind right now as well. He feels kind of ADD, like nothing can hold his attention for very long before it's drawn to something else.

The clock ticks – it's nine in the morning. It's nice to sleep in on the weekends.

The bacon is finished. He wraps the pieces in a paper towel to soak up the grease and places some bread in the toaster then reaches into the fridge for a fruit cup and sits. He taps his fingers on the table for a few seconds before realizing, well, he isn't ADD – he's just impatient. American seems to be rubbing off on him in that aspect as well. He just wants the ball to be now, in like, five minutes. It's going to be a lot of fun, he feels. He can joke with Lavi and tease Kanda and dance with Lenalee.

He imagines sweeping her across the dance floor, laughing. There is no romance there, just, perhaps, the overly-sweet love of a sibling. And he kind of sees where she was coming from before, with how she seems him as a brother. Because, well, he's starting to see her as the sister he never had.

And it's strange to think they've only known each other for about a month, because it feels like it's been so much longer. It feels like they've always been friends, the four of them always together. He's so much closer with them than he ever was with anybody – except for, perhaps, Mana.

The bread pops out of the toaster, toasted, and he gets around to eating.

When he finishes, he's counts his blessings that Cross didn't come downstairs and meanders back up to his room to – well, he doesn't want to, but he has to study. He has a big History test when he gets back on Wednesday.

When he enters his room, the first thing he does is let Timcampi free from his cage. Then he opens the window to let the cooled breeze roll in and enjoys it comfortably for a moment before grabbing his books and plopping down on the bed. He holds the text above his head and stares blandly at the words, not comprehending a single one, before his cell buzzes.

Grateful, he sets the heavy book aside and unlocks the phone.

_I'm supposed to be asking what color your suit is, but I really couldn't care any fucking less._

_Do you ever care about anything, Kanda? And it's all white. You should know that. Lavi and Lenalee should know that._

_I deliberately avoided you fuckers yesterday. I didn't give a shit what color your outfit was._

_And why do you now?_

For a while he doesn't get a text back and leaves it alone, but then the phone buzzes.

_As if I'd tell you, Beansprout. It's not for me. It's for the hairdresser._

_The hairdresser? Are you getting a mani-pedi at the same time? Who are you with, your best girlfriends?_

_Fuck you. I was roped into this unwillingly. And you should get your hair done as well. It's a fucking mess._

_Thank you. I was actually hoping to get some beauty tips from you before the ball tonight. I wouldn't want my queen to outshine me. By the way, that was sarcasm in case your dull brain couldn't comprehend that._

_You know what would be cool? You dying._

_That's actually really harsh. Like, really. What happened to Happy Kanda from yesterday?_

_He died._

_How pleasant. Should I arrange a service?_

_Do whatever the fuck you want. I don't care._

Sighing, he sets the phone down. Hopefully Kanda can get into a better mood by tonight. He doesn't want to have to deal with that shit. He gets around to studying again and actually accomplishes to finish a page of notes before throwing all his work aside and turning on his laptop. It automatically signs him into Skype, and he scrunches his nose in disappointment that no one's online. He then flips the computer shut and falls backwards onto his bed.

Timcampi flutters around his head for a bit before landing on his nose. His talons, thankfully, are trimmed, so it doesn't hurt. The finch looks down into his eyes, head turning ever so slightly and very quickly. He chirps loudly and Allen laughs.

"I know, I know. I should work on my English paper, right? Guess it's better than sitting around and doing nothing." He sits up and grabs his computer again, pulling up a Word document and starting up Firefox. "Research time. What do you think, Tim? Academic Search Complete or Wikipedia?" The bird chirps again, moving his resting spot to Allen's shoulder. "I know, automatic failure for using Wikipedia. I get it."

Sighing again, he gets to work on his paper.

* * *

><p>By the time he finishes, it's close to one and he's starving. He's in one of those, 'I'm hungry, but I don't want to eat anything at the house' moods, so he ends up going out. UNO's Student Union should be open, and that's within walking distance.<p>

He's only been on campus once, with Lenalee and Kanda – mainly because Lenalee wanted to take a small tour of the campus and Kanda is, well, their friend who attends UNO. They ate in University Center, the student Union, and Allen found it was quite nice.

The school itself wasn't bad, either, but he can't really be focused on that just yet, because he doesn't even know what he wants to study.

So he leaves the house and starts towards UNO. Briefly, he wonders if Kanda would want to join him, but then casts the thought aside. Why would he want to eat lunch with such an ass? Kanda probably wouldn't agree anyway, so it doesn't matter.

He plugs his headphones into his cell phone and listens to music while he walks. It's a cool day, like yesterday, and he's glad for this. It's not overly hot because it's still early March, but he knows it won't stay like this for long. Another month or two, Lenalee told him, and they'd get Africa-esque heat.

* * *

><p>The worst thing, really, about UNO's campus, is that Ben Frank sits right in front of it, so he has to pass the damn school on his way to eat. It's not that the school itself is so bad, not even that the curriculum is too hard, it's just that he hates to work they have to do. They pile it on incessantly. Can't he just graduate early and go to college? Then graduate that early and get out of school forever? He may be smart, but that doesn't mean he likes it.<p>

He takes the ear buds from his ears and places the phone and the headphones in his pocket before strolling over to Chick-Fil-A. He isn't going to even pretend that first time he tried it in Baton Rouge weren't some of the most beautiful moments of his life.

He orders his food, then pauses.

Of course.

Of freaking course.

Well, he doesn't have to sit with the guy. Kanda's actually studying, so it would be rude to interrupt. So, no, he's going to completely ignore him and walk away from the table he's totally not actually walking towards.

Um, wrong, Allen. Wrong. This is not the correct way to food. Turn around slowly and he might not notice you. Hell, who cares if he notices you? Walk. Away.

He sits and says, "Hey."

Kanda looks up from his text very, very slowly. His eyebrows are so close together in frustration and exasperation it looks like he only has one. It's a bit of a humorous image.

"What the fuck? Go away."

"I couldn't help but notice – you aren't actually illiterate, are you?" Allen smirks, leaning back in his seat. His eyes wander over to the Chick-Fil-A and he adds, "Hold on a moment, would you?" before getting up, getting his meal and sitting back down in his chair.

"I'm going to try something new. Please go away or I'll fucking murder you."

"Wow, a threat and a 'please' all in the same sentence. That's a new level for you Kanda. And, wait, that's actually the second time today you've wished death on me. You're on some kind of roll today."

"I try," he mutters, eyes glued to his book.

"What are you reading?" Allen asks, taking a bite of a waffle fry. Kanda doesn't answer, but raises his book ever so slightly. Psychology. "So you want to be a shrink for plants? Whatever works."

What agitates him a little is that Kanda doesn't answer him. When he lowers the book a little, Allen sees a man so engrossed in what he's reading he probably didn't even register that what Allen said was an insult. This is strange for Kanda, because Kanda takes everything personally. So Allen just eats.

He doesn't understand why he came and sat down in the first place; it was like he was drawn to just come and sit across from this boy. And as soon as he sat down the only things on the tip of his tongue were insults.

Kanda's trained him, in a way, he guesses. They've had very few, actual conversations, and they're generally laced with insults or curses or something. Have they ever tried being gentle with each other, just enjoying the other's presence? Well of course not; Kanda's never given him the chance.

Is this the chance? For them to just be – friends.

When he finishes eating, he pushes it to the side and crosses his legs, taking out his phone and checking for messages. There are none, of course, it's a menial act, but it gives him something to do – to keep busy. Kanda, across from him, is silent, reading still. He doesn't want to disturb him and yet…he wants to speak with him – he wants a conversation. A real conversation. Lenalee already talked to him about this a bit, but –

"Why do you live alone?" He asks. Kanda, startled from the sound, blinks a couple times. Then sighs, looks at the book for his page number and sets it on the table.

"Lenalee told you. I'm no idiot."

"I wasn't calling you one," Allen grumbles, looking to the side. He sighs. "I-I'm curious about you. What were you like, before…" The statement hangs in air, heavy.

"Before Tiedoll died? How am I supposed to answer that. Go talk with Lavi or Lenalee about it. I don't give a shit."

"I know…" Allen responds, looking down at his hands. "How are you so nonchalant about it? It's been seven years and I still – I don't…"

"Why?" Kanda asks, resting his head on the back of his hand. "Not talking about him being dead isn't going to bring him back."

Allen shoots him a bit of a glare, but he knows Kanda's right. He's told himself the same thing millions of times, but he still can't bring himself to do it.

Allen decides to change the topic.

"Why did you decide to be an Environmental Biologist?" He's going to try this crazy thing called being decent. It's a stretch for him, since it's Kanda, but he's certainly going to try.

"Because I hate it. Why do people generally study something?"

"I just can't see you liking much of anything. You seem like the brooding, 'I-hate-everything-in-the-world' type."

Kanda growls a bit. "I did it because that stupid man got me enrolled in the AP Biologies after I told him I didn't want to do it. Turns out, I'm good at understanding shit like that."

Allen smiles a bit. "He knew you pretty well, didn't he?"

"Shut up," Kanda rolls his eyes. "What time is it?"

Allen checks his phone. "Two-thirty," he replies, placing it on the table and taking a sip of his drink.

"I'm going to get lunch. Feel free to leave me alone whenever it suits his highness."

"We're getting into that? I'm sorry, my queen, but I think I'd rather sit here for a while. I have no other royal duties to attend to."

Kanda sneers and walks off. And Allen is left feeling – weird. Like, there were so many opportunities to fight, and they didn't, really. And well, maybe Kanda isn't a horrible guy. He is a little, but not completely. Maybe he does like him slightly – not so much as Lenalee or Lavi, but a little.

When Kanda returns he rolls his eyes, presumably at the fact that Allen didn't get up and leave.

"Your goal in life is to ruin mine, isn't it?" Kanda asks, picking at the crust of a pizza and eating it.

"You eat like a girl," Allen retorts, stupidly. He has kind of realized that – that Kanda tends to eat slowly and tends to pick at his food. He's no psychology major, but – "You have to force yourself to eat, don't you?"

Kanda's gaze meets his own. "What the fuck?"

"Well, your entire behavior screams it. Why don't you get hungry?"

"I don't know," Kanda scoffs. "When I was younger, I didn't get a lot to eat, so – well, whatever."

Allen frowns. "Well at least you aren't an idiot about it and still eat."

"I'm a biology major, Beansprout. I understand the necessity of food." He pauses. "Not that any idiot wouldn't know. It's common sense that food sustains life."

"A lot of people have eating disorders, so I'd say no – not to everybody." Allen rests his face in the palm of his hand and looks around. Kanda scoffs at him again, he sees, and he brings his eyes back to Kanda. All right, Allen isn't going to deny that the man has a sort of…appeal to him. Physically, of course. The man has an emotional range of a lamp and has probably the worst personality he's ever seen on a human being, but – well, yes, he's attractive.

Allen's never been the type to concern himself with titling his sexuality, because he doesn't find he cares much. He's always liked girls, so – well, it's not strange to find another person attractive. It's just a fact, an observation. It doesn't make him gay to think the way Kanda's hair falls is relaxing and beautiful, that his dark eyes are kind of endless-seeming, to find that his skin seems to sparkle in the false light.

He stops himself and all train of thought. That was actually very, very gay.

He almost face palms and turns away from Kanda again. The man is just eating silently, there's nothing to it.

"When are you going to get your hair done?" Allen asks, trying to start up conversation again.

"At five." Kanda replies simply, taking a bite of his food. He eyes Allen, making him fidget a little under the intense gaze. "Are you going to do something about your rat's nest?"

"Brush it?" Allen shrugs.

Kanda scoffs at him in return and continues eating.

"It's almost three, so I'm gonna go." Allen gets his keys, his wallet, and his phone and ear buds, standing.

"Good, I can finish my meal in peace."

Allen shakes his head and says, "See you tonight, Kanda."

"Whatever, Beansprout."

* * *

><p>The limo arrives at his house around five. He climbs inside, sits next to Lavi. Miranda is on the other side of him, and Lenalee and Komui sit across from them. They're wearing their masks, so he slips his on as well. It's cold against his face as he ties it in the back. The silk feels good against his ears and he smiles a bit.<p>

"Ready?" Lavi asks, grinning largely.

He nods, a strong resolve to have a good night settling deep in his chest.

* * *

><p>When they get there, he's the first to step from the limo. The hotel is lit up, makes the evening bright as day. People are crowded around, trying to get in, all in beautiful masks. Once they get inside the lobby, Allen smiles. The lobby itself is beautiful. From the ceiling hangs a large, crystal chandelier and there's a fireplace to his left in a sitting area. Beautiful people are lounging around, and he recognizes one of them as one of his pages. He smiles and waves and the page does the same. All of these people are exceedingly nice.<p>

They walk together, and Lavi opens the large doors to the ballroom with a large flourish.

This room is even more gorgeous than the last. It's gigantic, beautifully tiled. There are three chandeliers in this room instead of just the one, and the entire right wall is a mirror. In the center is a large, open area where there are no tables, presumably for dancing. To the left of him is the food – there's gumbo, crawfish, sausage, chicken jambalaya – he doesn't have the time to sit and stare at all the food that's there, and that makes him a happy man. There's a punch bowl on the table by the food, then a small bar with a bartender a few feet to the table's right. To his immediate right, in the corner, is the band. There are five of them there, and from the looks of it, they're a jazz band. Of course, New Orleans could have it no other way.

Immediately, Lavi sweeps a rather scared looking Miranda to the empty dance floor and places his hand on her hip – waltzes. There's no music, and Allen has to laugh a little at how red Miranda looks. She seems to be shaking in Lavi's arms.

Lenalee giggles a bit as well, and Allen looks at her.

"Why isn't the band playing?"

"Well, because the ball hasn't started. Lavi's just playing around to tease Miranda." She tells him.

Allen smirks. That sounds like Lavi.

"When will it start?"

"It should start in about half an hour or so."

Lavi returns with Miranda at his side, clearly mortified from dancing on an empty floor. He bows to Allen and says, "It begins after the king and queen's leading dance."

Allen goes stark still. "What?"

"Oh didn't I mention that?" Lavi asks, looking at his fingernails. "You and Kanda may have to start off this wonderful night with a dance."

"May have to? So I can opt out of it?" Allen holds onto that shred of hope.

"Wellll, no."

"Oh my god. I never, ever, ever, would have imagined these words coming out of my mouth, but seriously, fuck you." He sighs, harshly. "Seriously, why didn't you tell me?" He directs this at everyone.

"Oh, don't get angry, no one else even knew about it. I'm the only one out of our friend group who's ever even been to a Mardi Gras ball." Lavi tells him, still smiling like he's having the greatest time of his life. Like he didn't just completely ruin Allen's night.

"So Kanda doesn't know?"

"Nope."

Allen lets out a sigh of relief. "Well, I'm sure they'll call the whole ball off on account of the prince being murdered."

"That's why we're friends, Al. Because of your optimism."

Allen crosses his arms. No, he's not going to let this get to him. It's one dance. He can handle that. Just one dance.

The doors are propped open now, and people casually enter and leave the room. They all sit at a round table, waiting for the dance.

"Hey, Allen…" Lavi starts, eyes trained on somewhere behind him. The redhead grins his stupid grin, the one that kind of makes him look like an endearing idiot, and points to whatever he's looking at. "Our queen has arrived."

Blinking, he turns his body. His heart jumps in his chest a bit and he furrows his eyebrows. Biting his bottom lip, he tells himself that it's simply because Kanda looks way too feminine for his own good. His dark, dark hair is tied up in an intricate up-do, two thick strands spilling against his chest and milk-colored pearls decorate and contrast his hair. His mask is golden, with white and silver adornments, and there's a butterfly on the top right corner of it.

His dress is various shades of purple, with tints of white for the beading and embellishments. His choker matches the deep plum of the skirt of his dress, and as do his elbow-length gloves. He doesn't seem too much taller than usual, but he's still by the door, so Allen can't tell.

"You're staring," Lavi whispers at him, and he jumps a little, flushing indignantly and turning his attention back to the table.

"I was not," he shoots back.

"Well, she is pretty, I'll give her that."

"Don't let him hear you call him a her. He'll most likely rip out your entrails with his bare hands." Allen tells him, a bit put-off that, well, he was staring.

Lenalee giggles. "I wouldn't past him to do it anyway."

"Lenalee!" Komui cries. "You really shouldn't be hanging out with such violent boys!"

"Please don't start tonight, Brother. I brought you along on the premise that you would behave." Komui frowns and Allen turns around again to see Kanda, not caring about any comments anyone else might make and notices something black peeking out the top of Kanda's dress.

"Does Kanda have a tattoo?" he asks Lavi.

"Huh? Oh, yeah he does. He got that like, two years ago." The redhead checks his watch. "It should be about time, now."

Allen watches as Kanda notices them, makes a move to start walking to their table, then pauses and walks in the complete opposite direction.

"Well," Lavi says. "Go get your queen."

He's not my anything, Allen thinks, but finds himself standing and walking to the other side of the room, where Kanda's plopped down ungracefully into a chair. The man has his legs crossed, and he's leaning back in his chair. Allen can't tell what he's looking at – he isn't close enough to see through the eyes of the mask.

As he gets closer to the chair, he notices Kanda's head is turned towards him, so Kanda's probably looking at him. He feels slightly uncomfortable under his gaze, but continues his trek until he stands right in front of Kanda.

"Listen – I – we have to dance."

"What?" Kanda asks, and Allen can clearly hear the disgust in his tone. Allen rolls his eyes.

"Lavi told me just now. We have to lead the ball with a dance."

"Fuck that," Kanda crosses his arms, frowning.

Allen turns around to look at Lavi, who's giving him a thumbs up. He sighs, rubs the palm of his hand. "We have to," he tells Kanda. "I don't really want to either –" Why does that feel like a lie? "- but we don't have a choice."

He's close enough now, to where if he looks into Kanda's mask, he can see his dark eyes. He swallows a little and Kanda says, "No."

"Ugh!" he flips up his arms in exasperation and looks at Lavi again. "Look at Lavi. We have to. Don't you notice no one's dancing?" And that everyone is now looking at us?

As the Japanese man looks around, he must notice, because he scoffs, loudly. He stands up very quickly and says, "We will get this over with."

"Okay," Allen nods.

They begin walking to the middle of the dance floor, and Allen notices Lavi holding Miranda's hand in a light manner and pointing to it. Oh, he gets the point. Gingerly, he takes Kanda's hand and leads him. It seems like Kanda almost pulls his hand away, but he doesn't; he walks alongside Allen. When they get to the middle, they turn to each other. Allen goes to put his hand on Kanda's waist, but Kanda stops him.

"No. I have to be in a dress, you have to be the girl when we dance."

"What! But it's just that! You're in the dress. I have to lead."

"I'm taller than you anyway, dipshit. You'll trip over yourself trying to lead me."

It's all hushed whispers and as the music begins to play, Kanda grabs his hand harshly and puts it on his shoulder, holds his left hand in his own, then places his own on Allen's hip. It's kind of mortifying, but not too horrible.

There is a sudden intake of breath at the warmth in the other man's hand, and Allen reigns in the surprise that Kanda is not necessarily a completely cold person. The music around them is light and airy, and as if they're swept up to the clouds they swirl around. Their steps aren't perfect, but they don't need to be. He watches Kanda's hair move slightly, the pieces that they've let stay down – it seems to bounce and wave with each step. He swallows and looks up into Kanda's face.

It's relaxed, not smiling, maybe not even content, but comfortable; if their steps are not perfect, they are not perfect together, as if they somehow know each other's bodies and know how to move in relation to the other.

Somewhere in the dance, Allen loses himself. The warm hand in his own, the firm grasp on his hips, the muscled and yet still somehow slender shoulder under his fingers, the music of the piano; he can only think of these things. There is a flourish on the piano and Allen is spun outwards, back towards Kanda. He is in the man's embrace for only a moment before they've assumed their previous positions. In any other situation, he may have blushed, to be like this, led dancing by a man – a beautiful man – but he does not feel embarrassed or degraded, because who will judge him? These people? Who are they? Does he know them? Do they have the right to judge? It does not matter.

Allen is dipped backwards, Kanda pushes forward, and their bodies are flushed together for a second before Allen is snapped back up. Their steps become more powerful, more sure, as if they'd had some kind of epiphany somewhere in the middle of all of it and suddenly understand the steps. Perhaps they suddenly understand each other. Perhaps not. Perhaps there has been no epiphany, but the music has led them to some kind of middle ground.

He cannot stop the piano's notes from delving into his body and wrapping their tendrils around his heart. It is warm and beautiful and he kind of loves the music being played. He wants to learn, wants to create beautiful pieces for people to dance and be happy to.

The music slows, then stops.

They've stopped along with it, breathing only slightly heavier than even, somewhere on the far right side of the ballroom floor.

There is light clapping and they pull apart very quickly. Allen looks in the mirror-wall and sees his face is flushed slightly, perhaps from exhaustion, and then perhaps from, well, something else.

All of this is happening much too quickly for his liking – the noticing everything, the being overly self-conscious around Kanda. He really just wants it to stop; he wants to start hating the man and everything about him again. He and Kanda both stalk towards the table and sit down. Everyone else goes to the dance floor then and begins dancing. Lavi leads Miranda there, to dance to music this time, and Lenalee is asked by a handsome man to dance. Completely disregarding her brother's cries, she agrees giddily and goes to dance with him. When Komui gets up to go get food, Allen and Kanda are left alone together.

The atmosphere isn't necessarily awkward, though he does feel a bit of that. It's more like, stressed. Like they want to say something, but can't get it out. Allen isn't even sure of what he wants to talk about. He's hungry, but can't bring himself to get up and get food.

He hates himself. Like, a lot. Because he wants to dance with Kanda again. Because it was nice; he didn't even care that he was being led by another man. Because it was just fun. He swallows, then notices Kanda is looking at him, gaze even.

He meets his eyes and frowns a bit.

Allen laughs nervously. "That was fun, right?" He asks. Kanda doesn't answer him. He inhales. "I think I might do it again. Do you?"

Kanda frowns. "Are you asking me to dance again?"

Allen's entire face goes hot.

"I'm not a fucking girl, Beansprout."

Allen regains his composure and says, as evenly as he can, "I wasn't calling you a girl. I was asking if you wanted to dance. And – well, I was implying that I wanted to dance with you, yes." He isn't sure of what's come over him. He breathes in sharply. "I don't know why, so don't ask me. I just want to, and that's all I know."

"You never seemed like the type to act on impulse," Kanda sighs, standing. He holds out his hand. "Though I guess it makes sense. You aren't too good at thinking, are you?"

"Shut up," Allen tries to frown, but can't. He takes Kanda's hand and lets him be led to the dance floor. He thinks he sees something like smug satisfaction on Lavi's face and excitement on Lenalee's, but, well, it's obviously not directed at him because you just can't plan shit like this. Having a straight guy want to dance with another man so badly.

The music shifts from jazz to classical. They dance again, Kanda leading him, their bodies waltzing across the floor. The piano warms his soul and he smiles. There is a peacefulness in his heart that he usually doesn't have, and he can only contribute it to the dancing and the music.

And then he realizes, maybe the only reason he's actually doing all of this is because he can hide behind his mask. He feels safe and protected in his warm cape. He nibbles on his bottom lip as they dance, more aware of Kanda this time than the last. They feel closer together too; their chests graze as they move. Kanda tightens his grip on Allen's waist and his breath hitches.

Well holy shit.

He has some kind of obscure, weird, abhorrent affinity for the boy holding onto him. Fantastic.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading! Updates go back to normal, now. You guys will get seven next Monday! :) Please review!<strong>

**Seriously though. Go check out chapter 208. Hoshino keeps out-doing herself!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I hope you guys enjoy this early chapter. Also, I have some news in the AN at the bottom, so check it out.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

He takes some stock in the movie Weird Science. Maybe he can create some kind of Frankenstein like girl so his slight fixation with Kanda can cease. He can even make her British. Because it's just weird to him; he's not used to thinking about someone so much. Granted, it's more like he's only thinking of the bad things – it isn't like he's fawning over the guy…really…he isn't. And he totally isn't only thinking of the bad things so he won't think of the good things.

Yeah, he'll create a Lisa and everything will be awesome. Except, there won't be any motorcycles in his house, or, you know, missiles.

When he gets his four week grades, he kind of…dies. Right there in the kitchen. Because, well, if he doesn't die now, Cross will surely kill him painfully and slowly. The only reason he's still alive and fed is because he's always gotten straight 'A's. But there, on his four weeks report card, is a 'D.' A 'D!' He's never even gotten a 'C' in his life, but there's a damn 'D' on his report card.

No! Everything is going be okay. He's just going to have to hide the evidence, stick it somewhere Cross will never, ever look. Like, the laundry room, or the stove, or the shed outside, or really, anywhere that isn't his bedroom or the living room, or the dining room table. And his bathroom. If it's related to being lazy, Cross will be there.

He opts to hide it in the shed, next to the lawnmower because, well, Cross doing lawn work is kind of like a dolphin growing legs and becoming a functioning member of society. It just isn't going to happen.

When he gets back inside, he breathes a fresh sigh of relief and plops down on the couch, flipping through the channels on the television. He settles for the Food Network and reclines, relaxing and eventually falling to sleep.

* * *

><p>When he wakes up, he's freaking out again. Mainly because his dreams don't know how to listen to him and not have a debauched Kanda wearing food items parade around his mind like it owns the place. He fumbles for his phone, and checks to see for messages. There are none, so he rests his head on the back of the couch and breathes. Just kind of – breathes.<p>

Because really, having less than pure dreams about a girl-you-used-to-like's best friend who is male is just…wrong. On so many levels Allen can't care to count them. It's clearly just his brain playing tricks on him, teasing him since he so very obviously hates Kanda. That is the only justifiable answer. But it's still unsettling.

He's never going to be able to look at whipped cream the same way again.

* * *

><p>He is not very surprised to find that, when he wakes up on Monday morning, he really does not want to go to school. It's a normal thing to feel, he supposes, really, because what child <em>wants<em> to go to school? But the feeling is more acute than normal – like he knows, somehow, that it's going to be a bad day. He isn't sure of what it could be, but he's wary of it.

It starts when he goes to get out of bed and his legs end up all tangled in the sheets and his face slams right into the ground. He rubs his nose, eyes watering, and untangles himself. He didn't fall too hard luckily, he isn't bleeding or anything.

When he goes to brush his teeth, he's out of toothpaste.

When he goes to cook breakfast, he burns the eggs (Which he never ever does, because there is no good reason to make food inedible…which he happened to do on this morning).

When he passes by Kanda's house, the window is open.

When he glances up inside while walking, he sees Kanda rummaging through his dresser for clothes – naked. Or at least, half naked. The guy's shirt is off.

He swallows a bit and doesn't even realize he's stopped to look for a good twenty-six seconds. Twenty-six very long seconds that only end when Kanda catches his eye. The man frowns at him, and Allen has no more time to survey the black tattoo that covers the left side of his chest, the way his abs seem to be chiseled out of marble.

When he walks away, he refuses to come to the admission that he might have a thing for Kanda.

* * *

><p>School, as per usual on a Monday morning around 7:50, is bustling. Students are running around, trying to pry books from lockers (he never uses his locker; all his books take refuge in his very heavy schoolbag) and when he walks into his first class, English IV, he stumbles across a thought. It's such an obvious thought – something that makes him feel like he really is a bit of an idiot.<p>

He obviously can't have a thing for Kanda because that would make him gay. And he's not gay. Certainly not. He _definitely_ had a thing for Lenalee for those first two months. If he was gay, he wouldn't like girls.

So there is no doubt in his mind when his teacher walks in; there is a peacefulness that settles on his mind.

* * *

><p>Second period wipes all peacefulness from him. It's German with Link, a teacher that seems too austere to be as pretty as he is. He kind of reminds Allen of Kanda, but Kanda is eternally more rugged than his German teacher. And anyway, even if Link is strict, he isn't cruel – a bit of an asshole, but not so much as a certain Japanese man his thoughts have wandered to again.<p>

They have an assignment that keeps him busy, thankfully – translating common phrases from English into German, and German into English. It's much easier to do the latter, so he does that first, lets his mind wander a bit after he gets through number six.

He's always been fairly good at languages, which is probably why he opted to take German. He didn't have to take a language, since he tested out of French, but learning a new language is a beautiful process. It's like watching yourself grow from something small and unknowing all over again. The psychology of the human brain has always intrigued him – well, it'd intrigue anybody if they really thought about. It's such a complex computer – developing constantly.

He shakes his head.

Thinking about Psychology is not going to help him translate 'Where is the nearest bathroom?' into German. Then again, if his brain could just develop a cortex that immediately knew German fluently, that would be cool.

Does Kanda know Japanese? Well, it's hard to tell. He does have a slight accent, but it's so light sometimes he forgets it even exists. He can hear it in the back of his mind, Kanda slight shift on 'l's, and immediately wonders if that's why Kanda calls him Beansprout. Because he can't say Allen.

Or Lavi for that matter.

Or Lenalee.

Wait - yes, he's heard him say Lenalee, his tongue carving the 'l's into something that sounds remotely like 'Rinari.' Not enough to mar her name, and you wouldn't even be able to tell if you weren't paying attention, but it's there.

"Allen," Link begins wearily, and Allen very quickly realizes that the blonde man is standing next to his desk, looking at his paper with ascetic eyes. Allen looks down and realizes that instead of writing anything that looked remotely like words, he'd just been scribbling his pencil over the paper. He'd been pressing hard enough that the graphite had actually crumbled at the tip.

"Ah, sorry Li-Mister Link," he amends quickly. He begins erasing his lines.

"Have something on your mind?"

Japanese men.

"No, I'm sorry," Allen returns in a whisper, ducking his head a bit as he erases.

"Did you hear that this is going to be turned in for a quiz grade?"

"What?" Allen freezes, looks up at Link with wide, shocked eyes. His attention turns to the clock. He only has fifteen minutes left. He looks at the paper. Thirteen more translations.

"I want to talk to you after class, Allen," Link says finally, walking back to his desk. Other kids in the class are watching him, curious, and he simply turns his attention back to his quiz.

He ends up finishing with only one left to go when the bell rings. Link lets him translate it very quickly after the other children have filed out for a break time, and picks up the paper, placing it on his desk.

"You were an excellent student when the semester started, Allen." Link starts, sitting in the desk next to him. Allen turns his body in his seat to face him. "You paid attention and did all of your work – perfectly, I might add. Suddenly, your mind seems to be elsewhere."

It's obvious that Link is just caring about him, watching him. He isn't that much older than Allen, but feels so much wiser. Allen is starting to realize, lately, that he isn't much a genius at all like he previously thought.

"I…" he starts. He isn't even sure of what to say, so he settles with, "I'm sorry, Mister Link. I'll try better."

"That isn't good enough, and you know that."

Allen bites his bottom lip. "I know, Sir."

Link sighs, looking awkward. "Allen, I don't even need to ask if you have a problem, do I?"

"Huh?"

"Like," Link twitches his nose a bit. "Drugs."

"No! Of course not! I would never, ever, ever, ever –"

"I believe you!" Link exclaims, stopping him. "I have to ask though. It happens to kids your age more than you think. Alcohol, drugs – especially prescription drugs; teenagers seem to think they're invincible – really."

"Sir, you're young yourself, aren't you?"

"I'm twenty-one, but I am exceptionally mature."

Allen nods. Well, he is.

"Really, it's nothing like that. I just have to sort out my priorities."

"Sort them out quickly, Allen. I'm sure you saw your four-weeks grades. I know you can do better than a 'B' in this class. Your perfect scores in the beginning are what kept that from lowering, and I know that you can do it again," Link moves to stand. "I expect to write an 'A' on the final report card."

"Yes," Allen nods, picking up his book bag and moving from out of the room.

Faintly, he can hear Link whisper to himself, "Who's Kanda?"

Allen isn't the type to scribble names on a paper. He is the type, however, to talk to himself. That's when he realizes that he was probably saying everything he was thinking about Kanda out loud. Which is embarrassing, but at least he wasn't thinking about the same thing he'd been thinking about on the way to school. Muttering about how prominent Kanda's collar bone seemed against his skin, or the way his hair seems to ripple behind him in waves, or how the morning sunlight really offsets his skin tone – while those things are just observations, they aren't very good conversation starters.

* * *

><p>After school, as he's walking from his campus to the connected one of UNO, ready for a snack from the union, he sees Kanda. The man is speed walking, head staring straight ahead, hair whipping around him as his long legs take long strides.<p>

"Kanda?" He calls, not really thinking about the fact that Kanda might be in a hurry.

Kanda stops, looks at Allen. He's quiet for a moment before saying, "What? I need to get to the convenience store."

"I was just about to go get a snack from the union." Allen says, leaving the statement up for however Kanda would like to take it.

"Well, come on then," Kanda replies gruffly, picking up his pace from before. Allen, though, is considerably shorter, so he can't walk nearly as fast. His pace turns into something like a jog.

"Why are you in such a rush?"

"I need…something."

"What?"

"None of your fucking business."

"Okay, jeez." Kanda's hands, he notices, are shaking. "Hold on." Kanda doesn't seem like he's going to stop, so Allen grabs him by the shirt. "_Hold on_," he repeats, angry. Kanda lets out a snarl and stops, turning on Allen.

"What!" He growls.

Allen takes his backpack from his shoulder and start rummaging through the front compartment. "Ah," He murmurs, fingers grasping the box. "Here."

"Why the fuck do you have these?"

"They're for Cross. He gets pissy if he doesn't have his cigarettes, so I keep them on me at all times." Allen holds the box out to Kanda. "You seem like you're about to have a stroke." He does, really.

"Well this is fucking fantastic, but I don't have a li-"

Allen holds out a lighter. "You don't have a lighter with you, but you smoke?"

"I don't smoke _often_," Kanda clarifies, lighting the cigarette and taking a drag. "Only when I'm anxious."

"You were anxious? I didn't notice."

"Shut up," Kanda growls, voice a bit more even now. "I have a Psych test next period, and I can't afford to fail it."

Allen makes his way to a nearby bench – Kanda follows. "Why do you have Psychology anyway?"

"To be a shrink for plants," Kanda rolls his eyes.

Allen bites his bottom lip so he doesn't laugh. "I'm serious."

"Because I enjoy it," Kanda growls, pressing the cigarette to his lips. He blows the smoke out, and Allen blinks a little because he never noticed how smooth Kanda's lips are. They aren't cracked or dry or even very thin.

"That makes sense," Allen nods. "I am too, actually."

"What are we, bonding now?"

"Oh the horror," Allen laughs. "This is a horrible thing to say, but you're much more tolerable when you smoke – you're calmer."

"Fuck you. I'm always tolerable."

"Right," Allen nods. There is a slight lull in the conversation.

"Weren't you going to get food?"

"Oh yeah," Allen says lowly. It's weird though, because he wants to hold onto moments like these, where he and Kanda are almost friends. Even more than he wants to eat, he wants to stay. He doesn't want to intrude though, so he stands. He stretches, letting out a little noise of appreciation as his muscles lose their tension, and Kanda raises an eyebrow. "I make strange noises when I stretch, I know."

"You moan like a little bitch," Kanda smirks around his cigarette. Allen does not want to be that cigarette. He does not. He doesn't. Nope.

"Shut up," Allen rolls his eyes.

"Well, Beansprout. I learned today you aren't as completely fucking useless as you seem. Thanks for the cigarette." And with that, they separate.

He isn't gay, so he totally doesn't have a thing for Kanda, and he totally doesn't steal tiny glances at Kanda's back as he retreats.

* * *

><p>The day almost seems like it's rectified itself – that is, until he gets home. He first notices something is wrong by the fact that Cross is sitting in the kitchen. It's not dinner time, so there's no reason for him to be there really. Then he notices his clenched first.<p>

Then he thinks something along the lines of, _Well holy shit_.

Cross lifts his head slowly, lifts his head until he's staring at the ceiling. He's smoking a cigarette, the butt glows a dull orange. "I got a call today."

"Did you?" Allen asks, nervousness settling in his stomach. He doesn't move from his spot at the edge of the kitchen.

"Yeah. Your school called. Said something about needing to get a report card signed because there's a 'D' on it." His tone is scarily calm.

Allen swallows.

"Where's the report card, Walker?"

Cross never, ever uses his actual name. Allen blinks a few times, then says, "I don't know." Allen is a fantastic liar, generally, but he is having a rather off day.

"You're more of an idiot than I believed." He lets out a breath of smoke, the grey clouds drifting from his lips slowly, lazily. "Where is the goddamn report card? I have to sign it."

Allen's eyebrows furrow, and he bites his bottom lip. "I'll go get it."

"You hid it?"

Allen is actually scared now, not just nervous. He isn't going to lie. He can't. Cross is looking at him, and his dull red eyes are painfully clear. "I did."

"Go get it."

He turns on his heel and spins away. He speeds towards the shed, tears open the gate, and runs to where he hid the report card.

Cross has never actually beat him before. He's hit him, yes, but he's never beaten him – and Allen has never been scared that he would. Not until now. He's actually really afraid that Cross is going to hurt him. He isn't going to run away though, because that'd only make things worse. He heads back to the kitchen, card in hand, and places it on the table in front of Cross.

"Boy, are you confused?"

"What?"

"Does this place look like the fucking Burger King?"

"…I'm sorry?"

"You think you can do whatever you want? Think you can have it your way?"

"I –" What an analogy to make at a time like this. "I'm going to raise my grades." It's all he can think to say.

Cross sighs, uncapping a pen with his teeth and scribbling his initials on the dotted line. "You fucking better."

He isn't as scared anymore – he's calm actually. Then Cross throws the pen and it hits him in the eye.

"Arg," He presses the heel of his palm into his left eye, bites past the pain.

"Didn't mean to hit you in the eye, kid." Cross growls.

_Yes you did. You have perfect aim_.

He pulls his hand from his eye. He isn't bleeding or anything, it just hurts really, _really_ bad. He's prone to having others inflict pain on him, isn't he?

Neither of them move to get up, however.

"Why have they dropped?"

Allen decides to stay on the tried and true path of being honest, at least for now. "I've been distracted…by my friends. I just – I've never had anyone like them before."

"The hot girl and that boyfriend of yours?"

Allen flushes, with anger and something else. "Would you stop that! I'm not gay! I've liked girls!"

"You don't seem it. Maybe I'll settle for bi-sexual."

Allen opens his mouth to respond, then closes it – then opens it again. No words come out though. No retorts. No denials. Nothing. Just, _Oh. I've never thought of that_. Which, he hasn't because he's been skipping around all day, singing in his mind about how it's impossible for him like Kanda since he isn't gay. But he's never even looked at another boy in that way before. He's never thought or even considered it. And now – Kanda.

Because he _is_ looking at him and thinking about him. There's this slight, obvious feeling that settles in his gut, and he feels like he understands himself, realizes he's calmed down from a scare that he didn't realize he had.

Then it disappears in the wake of anxiety and denial. No. He _can't_ be. He just – it isn't fair.

"You're awful silent boy."

"I can't be," Allen mutters at him. "I can't be bi-sexual. It just – I can't."

Cross looks at him, eyes level, and asks, "Why not?"

"Because I can't. It's not – _right_." He's saying more than he wants to, but the words are coming up and he can't deter them. It's like he can't stop talking now, when before all he wanted to do was get the words out.

"Says who?"

"Says you and every other member of society."

"When have I, Cross Marian, ever looked down on love?"

"How about every day when you harass me about it? Why would you do that if you believe in love and all its forms?"

"'Cause I'm smart, boy. I understand more about you than you probably do."

He scrunches his eyebrows and lets that settle for a moment. He doesn't understand what Cross means, not even a little bit, but something in his tone helps sooth Allen's unease. Something calm and accepting and – holy shit he's completely forgotten about the report card. He certainly isn't going to bring it up again, but…well holy shit. Cross doesn't tend to get off topic easily.

Then he stands, and runs up to his room.

When he shuts the door, loudly, he presses his back against it and breathes. Closing his eyes, he just – thinks. About how he feels and what he thinks and what he believes.

His breath hitches in his chest and there's this tight tugging when he rolls the words around in his head, almost in an asking manner. _Is_ he bi-sexual? Well, it's possible where gay is not. It just kind of feels very unfair that he might be, and might actually have a thing for _Kanda_ – Kanda who is rugged and beautiful and angry and passionate and above all else, probably straight. Even if they've teased Kanda about it incessantly, well – Kanda just doesn't seem like he'd be the gay type. Even with his long hair and nice lips and lovely fingernails – something in Allen keeps screaming. Something yells at him and tears at his psyche with the fact that, even if Kanda is gay, he'd never like Allen, because he is so out of Allen's league. And if Kanda has a type, Allen most certainly isn't it.

That's when he plops down onto his bed and sighs. "I – don't know…" He murmurs. He almost – it feels right. It feels like it all seems right. Feels like maybe underneath everything he really does like both men and women. He rubs his nose. Then he pulls out his phone and dials Lenalee.

She picks it up very quickly, breath heavy. "_Allen_?" She asks. "_Allen! Oh my god! This could not have been a better time!"_

Allen is kind of roused by her exuberance and sits up. He has his own issues that he'd like to discuss with her, but she can go first. "Hey, Lenalee." He smiles.

"_I – oh my goodness, Allen. I – I love you right now. This is amazing that you would call. Listen, I need your help."_

"With what?" He asks, leaning back.

"_Well, okay, you know how prom is April 16__th__?"_

"No." How in the hell is he supposed to know anything about Cabrini's proms?

"_Well, Cabrini's prom is April 16__th_." She pauses for an intake of breath. "_And I want you to take me_."

"What!" Allen stands up in surprise. "I-I-I – Lenalee! What are you –" He doesn't need this of all things happening right now.

"_Okay, let me clarify. I need you to look like you're taking me to prom." _Her voice is kind of low._ "You see, I want to go to prom with somebody that Brother might…not approve of."_

"_No, he just wouldn't approve. There're no 'might's about it.'" _Comes a low, Australian accent_. _

"_Okay, so Brother might kill him if he knew."_

"So you want me to pose as your prom date so you can take someone else to prom…"

"_It sounds really bad when you say it like that…"_ Lenalee mutters. "_I promise I will do whatever you want. I will – we can go to dinner beforehand. We'll go wherever you want and I'll buy you whatever you want."_

Well, when she says it like that… "Um, well, alright, but…do I have to get a tux?"

"_Just rent one, like you did with the costume, it shouldn't cost much_." She pauses. "_Allen, I will be forever indebted to you. Seriously, I will buy you a hundred dinners." _

He sighs a bit. "It's no problem." Komui really is a scary bastard, and it's not like he's going to deprave Lenalee of an excellent senior prom just because. Besides, going to a prom might actually be – fun if Lenalee's there. He had no plans to go to his own, but, well, for Lenalee sure. Why not?

"_Thank you, thank you, thank you_!" She exclaims. The pauses. "_Wait, unless you're psychic and you knew that I needed desperate help, you called me because you wanted to talk about something_."

"Oh, it's – okay. I mean, not a big deal."

Well, it kind of is – figuring out his life and everything. But hey, _whatever_.

"_Just tell me,"_ she encourages. _"Reever, this is a private conversation, go work on…work or something."_

He can't tell what the supposed Reever says (that name sounds so familiar), so he swallows a bit and starts with, "Ya know, really, it's okay." He is totally not chickening out.

"_If you don't tell me, I will…kick down the door to your house and beat you up."_

"You would never do that."

"_Probably not. Just tell me."_

He takes a deep, deep breath. "How can you…tell…if you're bi-sexual?" There is a slight, awkward pause. "Because, you know, I have like this friend and stuff, and she's curious and she doesn't know and like, um, she's freaking out a bit inside because she doesn't know, um, you know, how to feel. Or like, what's right. Or, er, like…" He's just kind of spitting all this out, not knowing where he's heading and certainly not thinking Lenalee believes him.

"_Uh-huh_," she says after a moment, he can hear her nodding against the phone. "_And this _friend_. I'm assuming she's questioning herself because she likes another girl."_

"I don't know, I guess," he waves his hand nonchalantly, choking on words. "_Maybe_, I mean, who can tell?"

"_Allen_," she starts. "_This friend of yours. When'd she start thinking about it?"_

"I dunno…like…today."

"_Today_?"

"Yeah."

"_Why_?"

"Well, she told me – she told me that, like, um, you know, she'd been thinking about this other girl and like, you know, thinking about her and stuff." He has never been so eloquent in his life. Really, maybe he should be an English major.

"_Thinking about her."_

"Yes."

"_How often does she think about this other girl?"_

"Well, I don't know. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. All the time." He pauses. "That's what she told me." He adds quickly.

She breathes out a laugh, tries to smother it, but he can hear the sound muffled against her hand. _"Really? I see, and this friend of yours, what's the girl she like's name?"_

"Kanda."

Fuck.

"_I KNEW IT."_

"Shut up, Lenalee. Don't say anything. I swear to god I will call Komui on you at prom. I – oh my god." He drops his face in his one available hand. That was – oh that dirty – how dare she – how could she – why would she – goddammit, how'd she get him so loose that he'd let that slip? "It's not…It's not that I like him!" he yells into the phone. She's still giggling, apparently not taking his whole Komui threat to the bank. He will do it, he swears he'll do it if she breathes a word of this to anyone else. "I just – I don't know."

"_So that's what this was about. You think you're bi-sexual."_ He doesn't say anything and she takes it as a yes, which it kind of is. "_Well, I think it's obvious, really. Lavi and I have been chatting about it since like, the second or third time you two were around each other."_

"_What_?" He asks. "Wh-how-wha-I just – what!" Yep. English major.

"_Listen, we aren't saying you two are in love with each other; Well, we aren't saying you aren't, either,"_ she giggles. "_But, I mean, there's obviously some kind of spark_."

"I always believed it to be called hate." He deadpans.

"_I actually think it's called lust."_

"Lenalee!"

"_What_?"

"That is – I mean – I don't – I just…" This is not what he wants to be discussing with Lenalee of all people. He really doesn't want to discuss it with anyone, but certainly not Lenalee.

"_I bet your face is as red as a tomato_," she laughs. "_Listen, Allen. I think you know the answer to your question. I bet you've always known, even before you knew_." Oh, haha, what a philosopher. "_If you have feelings for Kanda, let him know. He might surprise you_."

"How would that cynical asshole ever surprise me? No way. I'm never telling. And Lenalee, I swear – if you tell him…I just – I…please don't," His voice morphs into something like a whisper towards the end.

"_I understand_," She says in a soothing voice. "_It's okay_."

"I – how is it okay?" He asks, lying on his bed again. He rests a hand over his eyes. "How is it okay? It's _not_. It's not okay. Ugh, I hate this. This is the worst day ever. I keep…I keep trying to tell myself that I don't have this thing for him and it's just – it's _so_ fucking obvious that I do." He lets out a shaky breath. "I can't stop looking at him, or thinking about him, or dreaming about him – ugh, I sound like a wreck. I can't even stand myself right now, because it's _Kanda_."

"_What do you mean?"_

"He just – I'm broken and scarred and not right, Lenalee. I could never help him, never ever be anything close to what he needs. Besides, Kanda is just – he's so obviously straight and I – are you laughing at me?"

"_Yeah, I just_," she pauses for an intake of breath. "_Allen how would you know anything about what Kanda wants or needs_?" She laughs a bit more, then says, "_You're so oblivious. I shouldn't say anything, I know, but come on, he looks at you just as much as you look at him. For Kanda, that means a lot._"

There's something like hope blooming in his chest and he crushes it easily. There's no point in getting hopeful about such a stupid thing. How has this happened? How has this gone on? When did it start? How long has it been growing?

"Oh come on, someone like Kanda having feelings?" He forces a grin to his face. "That just doesn't seem right."

"_Kanda's still a human_," she laughs. "_And male, no less."_

"Oh god, can we stop?"

"_Why? Is ickle, innocent Allen getting embarrassed?" _

Well, he's not so innocent. He dreams. A lot. And…well – yeah – a lot.

"_Okay, listen, I have an idea. I'll make Kanda come to the prom as well!"_

"What? How would that help anything?"

"_Things have a way of working themselves out. And trust me, you're gonna get bored if you're just sitting there by yourself." _

"I…" He pauses. "I'm such a wimp. I feel…scared."

"_Of what?"_

"Everything. Feeling. Knowing what I feel."

"_It'll be okay_," She says, a smile in her voice. "_We're gonna have so much fun. It's gonna be awesome."_

"If you say so," he sighs, staring up at the ceiling.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys. :) <strong>

**Well, here's the news. Risky Business is going to have a sequel. The updates will start Christmas Day, in honor of Allen's birthday. And I'm pretty much done typing out all of RB, so once I'm finished completely, I will be updating twice a week rather than once. So look forward to THAT. **

**Originally I was going to have a poll, but the few people I talked to about it already really, really wanted one, so yeah. As the title of this is an 80's movie, the sequel will an 80's song. Can you guess it? I know there are a lot of 80's songs out there, but I'm just wondering XD. I will give you one hint - it's from the year 1982. **

**Review and let me know what you guys think. Of the chapter, of the fact that there's going to be a sequel, your guesses on the name. :) As soon as someone guesses the right song, I'll update 8!**

**::Edit: You guys are really going to hate me. Really. I've gone and decided to change the sequel title. Now the song's from 1983. BUT! If you guess the song from 1982, I will still update. Just because I kind of hate myself. It's just that - well, the song I decided on originally seems a little TOO somber. And since I'm such a whore, I'll give you guys another hint. The band is from the UK (for both songs, actually...) Also, it's not Physical, by Olivia Newton John XD LOL SO many people have guessed that one.**

**::Edit-Edit: You guys...I just checked...Physical is from '81. How was that the most guessed answer? lol  
><strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Well...no one was guessing and everyone I was talking to was giving up, so I've just decided to update now. Mainly because - yes, my loves, I've finished typing up Risky Business. It is a whopping eighteen chapters. So. Ten more after this :D This also means my weekly updates will be moved to 'updates whenever the hell I feel like updating' which will probably be something like two or three times a week depending on how busy I am. The sequel will be talked about in the bottom AN.**

**That said, I think you all will **_**really**_** enjoy this one.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

"Did Lenalee tell you the situation?"

"_Now, Allen, how am I supposed to know what she told Yu?"_

"No – not Kanda, you."

"_Not Kanda Yu? Is there another Yu?"_

"Okay, let's try this: Did Lenalee tell _Lavi_ the situation?"

"_Me?"_

"You."

"_But I thought you said me."_

"You're an arsehole and I hate you."

"_I know you don't like him, bu-"_

Allen presses the end call button and tosses his phone onto the bed. Sighing, he runs his fingers through his matted, messy hair and looks in the mirror. He frowns a bit, then smiles; scrunches his eyebrows together, then pushes all his hair back from his face. Then he leans forward, close enough to the mirror to where the only thing he can see are his eyes, his scar, and a bit of his hair.

"What are you gonna do?" He asks his reflection. The mirror-image says nothing, thankfully. He's already going half-crazy and he doesn't need another symptom.

His phone rings again and he scoffs before picking it up.

"_I'm sorry! Now, Lenalee didn't tell me anything – what's up?"_

Allen bites his bottom lip. He only called to talk to him about the prom thing, but he does feel bad about Lenalee knowing and not telling Lavi…What's he supposed to do? Lavi's a guy so wouldn't it be – awkward?

"_Allen_?"

"Uh, yeah – I mean, about, you know, prom."

"_What about it?"_

"She wants me to pose as her date so she can take some other guy."

"_Scandalized gasp! Who?"_

"Some guy named Reever."

"_Double scandalized gasp! Do you know who that is?"_

"Um, his name sounded familiar…"

"_Komui's subordinate. They work together. Are he and Lenalee, like, dating_?" He pauses. "_Reever's like, thirty!"_

Allen scrunches his eyebrows. "Thirty? That's worse than you and Miranda! Who do people feel the need to date people so much _older_ than them?"

"_Miranda and I only have a like, eight year difference –"_

"-Only-"

"_-But that's like, a twelve year difference for Lenalee!"_

Allen sighs, cranes his neck to look at the ceiling. "Well, nothing we say is going to change that. I guess…we just be happy for her." Even if some kind of brotherly instincts are kicking in, as they surely are with Lavi, he isn't going to try and stop her from dating who she wants. How wrong would that be? After everything she's done and all the acceptance she's given him. "Lavi…" He starts. He really wants to tell him, wants to lay it on the table, but he's still scared. He's had time to think about it, and it just – it seems so wrong to keep Lavi in the dark. Lavi is just as much his friend as Lenalee is.

"_Allen_," Lavi returns.

His heart is beating about fifty miles a minute, he can feel it pounding against his rib cage. He closes his eyes. "I have to tell you something."

"_What_…?" Lavi asks, wary. _"You haven't like, become a male prostitute who's strung out on drugs and had to move outta the house and now you're living with this old man who pays your way for everything and you're pregnant and you want to keep the baby and –"_

"Lavi."

"_Sorry_."

"I…" How is he supposed to say this? It just kind of came out with Lenalee. "Maybe – perhaps - probably - sorta definitely like Kanda." There is silence, and then Lavi laughs. Allen holds the phone from his ear, wincing at how loud it is, and grimaces. "It's not funny…" he grumbles.

"_Of course not, Piglet, of course not. It's just,"_ He laughs again, choking a bit._ "Well, it's obvious. You fucking," _he coughs a laugh._ "You fucking stare at him all the time, and you danced with him more than once at the ball and like – it was just obvious."_

"That's not fair!" Allen says, fumbling the phone in his hand as he tries to switch ears. "I totally – Kanda and I danced because – it was – listen I just – How is it that both you and Lenalee found this 'obvious?'"

"_Well, I think it was only obvious to her after I mentioned it. But I mean – you do _stare_."_

"Shut up," Allen mumbles. "He – he."

"_He's pretty, I know_."

"Whatever," Allen sighs, running a hand through his hair. Ugh, he needs to wash it. Badly. "How are things with Miranda?"

"_Wellll. She's awesome and everything, but she's _so_ introverted. It's kind of ridiculous. I can't even kiss her without her going into full freak-out mode." _He pauses_. "I wonder how Yu would react if you kissed him."_

"L-Lavi!" he sputters.

"_You stutter a lot when you're embarrassed, you know that?"_

"You are so inappropriate."

"_What else is new?"_

"Good point. By the way, I wouldn't know because, um, yeah, I'm never, ever touching him ever."

"_That feels counter-productive to getting laid_." Lavi tells him; he watches his face get even redder in the mirror. "_Isn't that everyone's true goal in life? Getting laid?"_

"I don't think so."

"_Well, it is mine."_

"I know, Lavi. I know."

"_Anyway, you'll have to tell me all the juicy details afterwards."_

"I'm pretty sure you're actually a fifteen year old girl." He pauses. "So you aren't like, weirded out?"

"_What? No of course not! You're like, my bestie in the whole wide world! If I was gay, I'd totally fuck you."_

"What! No! That is disgusting Lavi."

"_Awww, come on baby. You'll have sexy times with Yu but not me?"_

"That sounds really disturbing."

"_It's like a double entandre. 'Cause I'm talking about both our friend Yu and masturbation!"_

"Thank you for that…" Allen swallows. Lavi has a way of disgusting him and making him feel uncomfortable like no one else can. He shakes his head. "Anyway, Lavi, did you go to your prom?"

"_Of course I did! It was excellent! Oh my goodness, Yu should so be your date."_

"Let's stay on topic for once, please. What did you wear?"

"_Um, a tux." _He says, sounding like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Allen has never _been_ to a prom. And he just likes to make sure he doesn't make a fool out of himself.

"Did you have a date?"

"_Well, duh, I am the great and magnificent Lavi. I scored with this hot babe that night, too."_

"That's nice. Did you color coordinate?"

"_I think Yu should wear a white tux and you should wear black – for balance."_

"That's not what I asked."

"_Yes, we color coordinated, but really, Lenalee isn't your date. That's why I was saying – color coordinate with Yu."_

Allen pauses, bites his bottom lip. How could he ever, ever do that? Is he supposed to tell Kanda to get a white tux? What right does he have to tell Kanda what to wear?

Why is he even thinking about this?

"Oh never mind."

"_You should totally get him a corsage."_

"Goodbye, Lavi."

"_Goodbye, my love! I will think of you tonight when I -"_

He doesn't even let Lavi finish the sentence before hanging up.

* * *

><p>After he gets back from seeing the tailor for his tux, the same one who did his costume, he returns home and plops down on the couch. He slips in the movie <em>Pretty in Pink<em>, and, really, he is Duckie. So much. Without the whole loving Molly Ringwald thing. The bay window to his right is open, letting the pleasant air roll through the house in favor of the air conditioning and he revels in the cooled breeze that comes through. It's been getting warmer lately, and he's grateful for the cold front coming through.

He moves from the couch to the small seat underneath the window and half watches the movie, half gazes outside. The trees are swaying slightly, and it must be that a small storm is about to roll through. He breathes in the sweet scent of the natural air and smiles. Then frowns. Deeply. Because Kanda is totally jogging down his street _without a shirt on_. Quickly, he ducks below the window frame, peeking up just enough to let his eyes follow Kanda.

He is beautiful – handsome – rugged, every descriptive word for attractive there is. His arms, Allen notices, are so very muscular and toned. As is his chest. His stomach. His calves. His everything is just perfect. He sees Kanda's head turn towards his house and he ducks down again, holding his breath, definitely not wanting to be caught staring. After a moment, he peeks back up and notices Kanda isn't looking at his house anymore. His dark hair is tied up in a high ponytail, as per usual, and strands stick to his forehead and neck. He feels like the personification of all that is immoral and sexual and Allen wants nothing more than to _touch_ him. Which he immediately feels guilty about – but hey, he's a seventeen year old boy. He's not to blame for his hormones.

As he retreats, Allen uses every ounce of restraint he has to not stare at Kanda's ass.

He isn't a pervert. Not really. He likes to think he's pretty normal. It's just that – thinking about Kanda is perhaps a bit of an addiction. He thinks about him while he eats, while he sleeps, while he showers. Just. All the time. It isn't _always_ about his body, sometimes it's just about him as a person. What he's doing, what he's thinking.

He tries not to think about Kanda in the company of others, though, and certainly not at school because, well, he may or may not get erections really easily. Whatever.

* * *

><p>The day of prom is a Saturday. His tux is nice – black, three buttons. He's washed his hair about four times, more in anticipation of wanting to look nice for Kanda than anything else. Which leaves him feeling like a schoolgirl, but that's alright. He bites his bottom lip as he stares in the mirror, feeling nothing but nervousness and <em>Please, please don't embarrass yourself tonight<em>. Screwing up at prom just – it seems like the epitome of mortification. Then he thinks about what Lavi said about kissing Kanda and what Lenalee had said about things working themselves out and gets something like a tight hopefulness in his gut. He's been getting the feeling more often lately, and he can't really decide how he feels about it.

Because, well, yes, he does want to kiss Kanda, but it just seems to be so far out of his range that it's ridiculous. Looking in the mirror again, he realizes that, uh, yeah, Kanda is a million times more attractive than him. He might beat the guy in the personality department, but that's all he has going for him. He presses his palm against the glass and wonders if he'll ever even get a chance.

The limo with Reever arrives at five. It's sleek and black, and of course Cross has to make about seventy comments about how Allen isn't cool enough to ride in such a vehicle. The plan is supposed to go something like this:

Reever and the limo pick Allen up.

They drive to Lenalee's house.

Reever hides in the limo with its tinted windows while Allen walks up to the door and gets Lenalee out of the house.

They escape.

The plan _actually_ goes something like this:

Reever and the limo pick Allen up.

They get stuck in traffic and are fifteen minutes late picking Lenalee up.

Komui decides he wants to walk Lenalee to the limo.

Allen has to think fast and ends up pretending to cry on the ground about how he'll never be able to graduate high school and he's going to fail and end up as a loser.

Komui is momentarily distracted.

Komui gives him the most awkward talk he's ever heard.

They escape.

Lenalee totally owes him more than just a hundred dinners.

They decide to go to this place called Antoine's that's extremely fancy and really, Allen doesn't feel like he fits in at all. When they walk in, Lenalee informs them that Kanda's on his way to meet them and they should just get a table.

They pick a table off to the right, in the far corner. Lenalee's dress is beautiful – strapless and a dark blue, short and puffy towards the bottom. Reever is in his black tux, a dark blue tie offsetting the color of her dress. Allen pats down his hair, feels the smooth strands under his fingers. The special conditioner really helped.

He's nervous about seeing Kanda. He hasn't seen him since that time he was jogging, and well, he hasn't had a conversation with him since he offered the guy a cigarette. He almost isn't even hungry with how nervous he is. Almost.

Lenalee giggles a bit after he orders. "I'm not really surprised anymore," she says. As the waiter is walking away, he catches sight of Kanda.

He looks…

Well, he looks stunning.

Allen really can't think of any other words to describe the man walking towards them, eyes dark and hair tied into a low ponytail, gray tux just – gorgeous. He feels protective then; other people's eyes are on Kanda and – ugh, it isn't like he owns the guy. He just…wants him all to himself. Wants to draw Kanda to him and kiss him rough and hard and just pour all of himself into Kanda through his lips.

Allen's breath catches as Kanda sits down next to him, something Lenalee and Reever did purposefully by leaving it the only seat open. They could have like, sat across from each other or something so Allen wouldn't be rubbing elbows with Kanda, wouldn't have their knees bump together awkwardly.

When his food arrives, he eats as cleanly as he can. He – well, it has half to do with not getting food all over his rented suit, and half to do with the fact that he doesn't want to disgust Kanda. They guy has commented in the past that he eats like a pig, which is where Lavi picked up the whole 'Piglet' bit. When he goes to grab at a breadstick, he notices belatedly that Kanda also wants the bread. He stops halfway, which surprises everyone at the table.

"I – uh – I'm full," he mutters, tucking hair behind his ear. This should be in recorded history – it's the first time he actually gives food to someone else. Kanda snorts at him and the old, almost forgotten feeling of agitation at the boy swells up. "What?" He asks. Looks like he can still get very angry at Kanda, even when he wants to hold his hand.

"You, full? Doesn't sound likely, fat-ass."

"Wow, that is really sweet of you," Allen grumbles. "I probably weigh less than you, anyway."

"I'm taller than you. And it's muscles. I bet your BMI is higher than mine."

"That's 'cause you _don't_ eat. Seriously, you've had what, a breadstick and four bites of a steak?"

"Are you _watching_ me eat, Beansprout?"

Only out the corner of his eye.

"Why would I _ever_ watch someone like you? You're infuriating."

Lenalee and Reever are watching the argument with mild amusement in their eyes. Kanda doesn't respond, just sends a sneer his way and Allen – oh Allen is so glad he isn't as impulsive as he feels sometimes. He wants to do nothing more than to kiss the expression right off the man's face. His feelings are tinged with something like anger and he doesn't mind that at all.

When they're finished eating, they all pile into the limo, Allen and Kanda at opposite sides of it, and make their way to the prom. Allen really tries his best not to steal glances at Kanda while they're on their way, but, well, it's not easy not to look at such a beautiful creature. The guy is obviously still a bit miffed, but that anger, if nothing else, intensifies all his angular features. Allen can't help but notice the way his sleek dark eyebrows pull together, the way his shoulders tense, pure muscle underneath the sleeves of his coat. He bites his bottom lips and pulls his eyes away. But he feels – he feels Kanda looking at him and returns his gaze.

It's a heated gaze, laden with emotions. Allen swallows, and watches Kanda's eyes drift down to his throat, then move back to his eyes.

"Lenalee," Allen mutters, not looking away from Kanda. "What's the theme of the prom? I never asked."

"Oh, well," she says, a smile in her voice. He turns to look at her finally. "It's the Eighties, of course."

Of course.

* * *

><p>When they get to the prom, they're playing recent music. Mainly because it's only seven-thirty, and the actual dance doesn't start until eight.<p>

"Oh Allen," Lenalee, says as they choose a table and sit down. "Kanda. There's a party after this that I've been invited to. Wanna come?"

Allen mulls it over. "A party?" He asks. Kanda isn't saying anything at all. "Um, well, I don't see why not. Cross probably couldn't give two shits anyway."

Lenalee laughs a bit and turns to Kanda. He's silent for a moment before muttering, "Whatever," and taking a drink of water or Sprite or whatever's in his glass.

They know it's eight when New Kids on the Block plays over the speakers. Kanda's face lightens a bit, and Allen represses all urges to giggle. New Kids on the Block – well, they're about as heterosexual as Dirty Dancing. Which is, not at all. Giggling isn't really either, but whatever.

Lenalee has been dragged to the middle of the dance floor with her friends, and disappears into the crowd alongside Reever. Which leaves Allen and Kanda to themselves.

It's awkward. Like, really awkward. Kanda's fingers tap on the table in time with the music, stop and change rhythm when the song turns to '_Don't You Want Me'_ by The Human League. Allen actually laughs a bit, which earns him a glare, and he promptly shuts his mouth. Kanda downs the rest of his drink, then goes to stand and looks down at Allen.

"Do you want something to drink?" He asks, gruff.

Allen inhales. "Um, sure. I'll just – I'll come with you."

"Whatever."

The music is loud and fun and Allen wouldn't mind going to dance with Lenalee and her friends, but only because Kanda looks like he's totally fed up with the evening already.

"Do you serve alcohol?" He asks when they get to the bar. The man raises an eyebrow at him and he says, "I don't go to this fucking school. I was dragged here. Here's my ID."

Oh look, another fake ID. How lovely.

The bartender smiles at him, "Well, we aren't allowed to serve alcohol tonight."

"Well do it anyway," Kanda growls.

"I'm sorry, Sir." The man frowns now. "I can't."

Kanda lets out a sound of disgust and walks away.

"I'll just take some water," Allen says. "Uh, two, actually."

The man laughs a bit and fills two plastic cups with water before handing them to him. Allen then walks after Kanda, watching him as he walks into the courtyard. No one else is really out here so early, but there are a few couples. He feels awkward again.

When Kanda stops and plops down onto a bench, sighing harshly, Allen stops. Kanda doesn't realize Allen's followed him, so Allen just watches as Kanda's hand draws lazy circles on the cement bench beside him. His hands, he realizes, are shaking again and his right foot is twitching.

Allen takes a breath and walks up to him, sets the water down next to his hand and says, "Do you need a cigarette?"

Kanda looks up at him. "Why would you possibly have them here?"

"I have _one_. I figured an anti-social retard like you might have an anxiety attack around all these people." Well, really, it's mostly a habit now to keep at least one on him.

"I'm not a fucking agoraphobe," Kanda snaps. "You people just aggravate me."

"Alright," Allen concedes with a sigh, sitting down next to Kanda. The man gulps down his water in one go and Allen watches his Adam's apple bob slightly. "You used to be addicted to nicotine, huh?" he asks.

Kanda shoots him a sharp glare. "What?"

"Cigarettes. You used to smoke a lot. What, pack a day?"

"What the fuck do you know?" Kanda sneers, looking away.

"My godfather has been smoking as long as I've known him. Well, he decided to try and quit one time, and he would get these withdrawals – he'd twitch a lot. He'd get nervous. I mean, he smokes constantly again, but I can recognize the signs. He'd get a lot more pissy as well. Like you are."

Madonna plays from the building, loud.

The dark haired man scoffs and says, "Yes. I used to smoke a lot, alright? I quit after Lenalee found out and nearly ripped my head off. She hid every pack I bought…I don't even know how she found all of them."

"Here," Allen says, pulling the single cigarette from his pocket. "I don't condone smoking a lot, but, well, I live around it, so it doesn't bother me as much." He pulls out the lighter and holds it up to the cigarette after Kanda places it between his lips. He swallows as Kanda leans in a bit.

They're silent for a while; '_Should I Stay or Should I Go_?' drifts through the courtyard and Kanda's shoulders lose a bit of tension, taps his foot to the beat.

"Why do you like Eighties music so much?" Allen asks after a bit.

"It's honest. More honest than the shit played today." He blows smoke from his lips. Allen wants to kiss him again.

"You seem like the type to like rock more."

"I do. I like classic rock. But then I like New Wave as well."

"What's that?"

"Just another genre of music," Kanda explains. "Duran Duran, A-Ha, INXS." He inhales around his cigarette. Then he looks at Allen and grins. "You seem antsy. Need a drag?"

"No way," Allen scoffs, looking away. He's surrounded by that shit all day, he doesn't need any more of it. Let others smoke if they want, but he's not going to do it.

"You know," Kanda starts. "You're a stubborn son of a bitch."

"I could say the same for you."

"You're pretty adamant with your morals, and that takes strength, Beansprout. It's admirable." He's obviously just teasing Allen, but Allen doesn't care.

ABBA plays.

"Why'd you come tonight?" Allen asks, looking up at the sky. It's slowly growing darker and darker, the stars become more prominent.

"I had nothing better to do on a fucking Saturday."

"You had nothing better do than come to a Senior prom and sit outside? Have a smoke and sit next to a kid with white hair and a weird arm?"

"Damn straight."

"You're strange."

A long pause. They just listen to the music for a few minutes.

"Why did you come?"

"Lenalee promised me food."

Kanda snorts. "Sounds like you."

'_Will You Still Love Me_?' by Chicago plays.

Kanda takes a long drag on his cigarette, holds it in for a moment, the releases it from his lips. He doesn't blow it out, and the smoke comes out in slinky tendrils, lifting towards the sky. It's kind of beautiful. "You're a Junior, right?"

"Yeah," Allen frowns. "You are too?"

"Yeah."

"Hey," Allen starts. "What do you think about Lenalee and Reever?"

Kanda gives him a sideways glance. "I don't give a fuck either way."

"Strangely," He says, staring at his fingers. "Me neither."

Kanda turns his attention to Allen fully. "Why not?" he asks, scoffing, the cigarette in his mouth wobbling as his lips move. "Thought you had the hots for her."

Allen rubs his arm. "Well, I did." He concedes. "I don't anymore." There is silence and he looks up at Kanda. "What do you think of me?"

"I think you're a fucking annoyance," Kanda growls, turning in his seat to sit straight and stare up at the sky. Allen begins to snap something back when Kanda continues. "I hate repeating myself, but I told you. You have strong morals." He takes a drag of his cigarette. "You're optimistic to a fault. You love _everything_. You care about other's more than yourself. You're a Beansprout." His lips curve around the cigarette. "And you eat like an animal."

"Nice personality assessment," Allen laughs.

"Why do you care about what I think of you, anyway?"

Allen frowns a bit. "I was just…wondering."

"Better question," Kanda is still smiling slightly. "Why'd you wanna dance with me at the ball?"

"Well, I…because I…well –"

"Guys, what are you doing out here?" He hears Lenalee's voice and thanks the heavens. "I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Sorry, Lenalee," Allen stands quickly, dusting off his pants. "Kanda was just having a heart attack and needing some air."

"Kanda! Were you smoking?"

"What if I was?"

"I thought you stopped!"

"I did."

She stares at him for a few seconds, obviously angry. "Lenalee," Allen says. "I'm sorry, he just seemed so antsy. I just gave him one."

"Why do you have them?" Lenalee asks, turning on him.

"They're for Cross, I swear!"

Jesus, she can be scary when she wants to be.

She sighs. "Come on inside and dance. It can't be any fun out here."

"Okay," Allen nods, looking back at Kanda. The man's eyes are predatory slits and he feels some kind of thrill – this shiver that runs through his body. He swallows and follows Lenalee back inside.

* * *

><p>The rest of the prom ends without event. Kanda and Allen just sit around inside mostly, the deafening music making it so they don't talk. Sometimes, Lenalee would drag them up to dance. Kanda would mostly stand there, stiff as bodies bumped against him, but Allen at least took advantage of the situation and had fun.<p>

Afterwards, the limo brings them to the party. The music is even louder than the music at the prom and it's modern. Ke$ha is the artist's name, he thinks.

He's dragged around to the back by Lenalee, given a drink by some random person as they pass by. She must be the host, dark curly hair and pretty dark eyes. People are dancing slightly differently here, bodies gyrating against each other, the scent of sweat and sex dilating his pupils and making him shift uncomfortably when he looks over at Kanda. He's sitting by himself at first, but girls quickly crowd him. Allen's about to walk over there when he's bombarded as well, girls and guys both talking to him, asking him how old he is and where he goes to school and where he's from. He's so thirsty, so he takes a sip of whatever the host gave him. It, well, it's not a good idea obviously, but he's really thirsty.

He's amiable, talking to everyone at once. He smiles at them, catches quick glances at Kanda when he can. It seems to go on forever, all the people talking to him and he's eventually brought to the middle of the yard where everyone's dancing. He finishes his drink, and a girl quite nicely brings him a new one.

He's never been in a situation like this, pushed around and touched by all kinds of people. He feels hands on his chest, stomach, ass. It's just different. He doesn't know a lot of the music, but it doesn't matter, his body understands the moves easily.

After a while, he loses track of how many people he's danced with. He hasn't forgotten about Kanda though. If anything, his mind won't stop thinking of Kanda. He wants to dance with him, wants to press their bodies together as the music plays.

The first girl who notices he's glancing at Kanda giggles and says, "Is he your boyfriend?"

Allen, through the haze of what must be alcohol – he thought the drinks tasted funny, and, crap, he never ever drinks, ever – blushes. "No. He isn't."

"You like him though, right?"

"Well," he looks at her. "Yeah."

See, he doesn't like alcohol for a few reasons. He becomes entirely too honest, too sexual; too Cross-like.

"You should go talk to him," She whispers. And well, duh, that seems so obvious. Talk to him. Yes. Yes he will talk to him. He pushes through the cloud of people and makes his way over to Kanda. The man is still surrounded, but by new girls.

"Pardon me," Allen says, startling everyone, even Kanda. "But none of you birds are good enough to talk to him and I've been queuing long enough. Please go away."

They all look at him, surprised and put-off, and Kanda smiles a bit. "Wow, Beansprout has balls."

Allen shoves through the people and plops down on the couch. It's just sitting in the yard by itself, next to a long table with drinks. No food, just alcohol really. "Do ya fancy a drink?" Allen asks, leaning forward.

Kanda raises an eyebrow. "Sure. Surprise me."

"Fantastic," Allen claps. Oh hell, what's another one? He pushes through the people again, actually shoving one girl to the ground in his conquest to get himself and Kanda a drink. He doesn't watch what he pours in the plastic red cups, just dumps the contents in them. The girl he shoved on the ground scrambles away, along with the others, as he returns. A strong bass plays from the speakers, rumbling in his chest as he hands Kanda one of the drinks. "'Ow are ya fairing?" He asks, totally not slurring his words and accent totally not way thicker than normal.

"This party sucks," Kanda yells, barely heard over the music.

"Oh yeah, totally," he agrees, not really caring about the words that came from Kanda's lips, just the way his lips form the words. "Those birds there, what were ya talking about?"

"Birds?" Kanda asks, then breathes out a laugh. "The girls? Well, if you must know," Kanda leans in and Allen's eyes get droopy. "They were asking if I wanted to have sex with them."

"All of them?" Allen asks, eyes widening now, looking for the gash who dare to even think of it.

"Oh yeah, totally," Kanda nods, smiling. He takes a sip of his drink.

"There were like, forty."

"Seven."

"What?"

"Seven girls."

"What girls?"

"Never mind," Kanda actually laughs. "You're so drunk."

"Nah, I'd neva'. Anyway, the birds. Ya were knee deep in clunge and –" Allen pauses. He's sideways on the couch, talking to Kanda, and has to lean over him and the arm of the seat to cough. He's so nauseous. He wipes his hand on his mouth. "You're a big tosser," he mumbles, backing up as Kanda raises his eyebrow.

"You forgot about the girls, then remembered them again, then threw up. Oh yeah. Sober."

"You." Allen narrows his eyes. "You – are. You are Yu. And Yu. Yu. You know. You know Yu. I. Yu." Kanda watches him, eyes level with him as Allen leans closer. "You're really hot, you know that?" He breathes against Kanda's face. Kanda blinks, quickly, breathing though his nose harshly. "Do you fancy me?" Allen asks, right hand moving to Kanda's shoulder, positioning himself to sit in Kanda's lap. "Do you?"

"I –" Kanda starts blushing, looks away and downs the rest of the drink. He crushes it and throws it over the couch. "You're drunk. Get off."

"I fancy you." Allen whispers, nuzzling his face in the crook of Kanda's neck. "I fancy you a lot, Yu. You have such a queer name. Yu. I like it. I like it like I like you. You're strange like me. So strange." Kanda is stock still beneath him, eyes locked on the couch beside them. "Look at me, Yu. Come on. I know I'm not pretty like you are, but look at me. I know you think I'm aggravating, but look at me. I know I'll never be good enough, but all I want is you to look at me."

Then Kanda has his arms around Allen and they're kissing, lips pressing together, mouths opening, tongues dancing. Allen groans into the kiss and leans up over him, tilting his head to the side and trying – trying to get closer. "Say my name," Allen whispers into the kiss. "My real name. I want to hear you say it."

"Allen," Kanda whispers back, tongue curving into Allen's mouth with the accent. He moans a bit, arches his back, stomach pressing into Kanda's. "You're so drunk."

"I'm so bladdered. So sloshed for you. Why do I fancy you so much?" Allen asks, mouth still moving against Kanda's.

"I don't know," Kanda responds. "Shut up." He moves his hand to cup the nape of Allen's neck and straightens as he kisses him.

"Okay." Allen nods a bit, their foreheads knocking together. "I love – the way you say my name," he says.

"I said be quiet."

"Say my name again, Yu."

"Be quiet, Allen."

He shuts up.

* * *

><p>He wakes up the next morning with a bloody awful headache, an armful of covers, and the biggest feeling of dread he's ever experienced.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>So what did you guys thiiiink? Let me know in a review! Yeah, this is gonna be a long AN.<strong>

**To the important matter at hand. The sequel. Originally it was titled 'Save a Prayer' by Duran Duran, but now it will be titled, 'Promises, Promises.' The song is by Naked Eyes**.** Which. Um. Is two words, not three. For some reason I was putting 'the' in front of their name - I don't know. It's alright though, because I updated way early anyway. No hard feelings?**

**'Promises,' (which is just my shorthand for it really, like RB is for Risky Business; I just really didn't want to call it PP because I'm five years old.) will be in Kanda's perspective! *yayface!* I've been wanting to write in his perspective for a while now, and I finally get to do it. I think I can do it - I mean, practically the exact opposite as my approach with Allen's third person POV in this. Anyway, I've got to get to my Intro to Art class, so TTFN, guys!**

**::Edit: I've also been wanting to reply to the reviewers who either have PM's disabled or just aren't signed in for whatever reason, because I seriously try to reply to THEM ALL. lol Here I go.**

**BBJ: AH! You've gotten it though! Even if none of those were right...but that's alright! Good guesses! And you aren't a geek! Seriously, I have a, like 90 song 80's playlist that I am just constantly adding to. (Oh yeah, if anyone wants it, I can put the link in the AN for Chapter Nine. Not gonna lie. It's pretty fucking awesome!)**

**Blake: Hehe here's your 'more!' I hope you enjoyed this chapter. You guessed what would happen pretty well, actually. Eight chapters in and they FINALLY kiss...although...it is a bit of a drunken one - that's alright! Still, man-kisses are nice. Thanks so much for the compliment!**

**inawe: Ahhh, it makes me so happy that you say that! By the way, I am OBSESSED with Tony Bowls. You lucky, lucky human being. My prom dressed was based off of - what, two of them, I think. I ended up without enough time to have a dress ordered so I had to go to a seamstress in town and design my own. It was a lot of fun!**

**See you next time!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys. I've decided on a new update schedule. As of now, my updates will be on Saturdays and Tuesdays, rather than just Mondays. Going by that schedule, Risky Business will end November 15th, then a month and ten days later I'll begin putting 'Promises, Promises' up. I really need the extra time to work on Yullen weeks because, since my friend is involved with it, she's coerced me into doing all of the themes lol. And I only have three written right now...I need to do four more. Ugh. Wish me luck.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 9<strong>_

_Go away sunlight. Go away. Go the fuck away. _

Every inch of his body aches. His head, mostly.

Oh god.

He rolls out of bed, drags himself to the trash can, and empties whatever contents his stomach previously held.

_I am never, ever drinking again. Ever. Dammit. _

Groggily, he pushes himself up on weak arms and crawls into bed, then notices a glass of water, pill, and post-it note. He whimpers, goes to read the note, but all he can tell is that it's purple. The writing is all blurry and goddamn his head hurts so badly. Forgetting the note, he takes and pill and drink the water and falls back into his bed.

He sleeps.

When he wakes up again, he feels a bit better. He's able to actually walk, which is an improvement, and only has to throw up once. He limbs feel all jello-like and he almost falls over when he tries to use the bathroom, but he makes it. Wobbling back to his bed, he tries another go with the Post-it.

It's from Lenalee, all elegant script and pretty swirls. It takes him so much longer to read it than normal, the words seeming to meld together on the note, but it says something like this:

_You may want to call me whenever you're able to. I think you'll want to talk. –Lenalee. _

Yes. He – he can only remember slivers of what happened.

And he hopes most of what he remembers was a dream.

Well, he kind of does and he kind of doesn't because, damn, Kanda is an excellent kisser.

His head is still throbbing, but he kind of feels like the information Lenalee can give him is vital. He rummages around his comforter until he finds his phone, lies down in bed, and calls her. The ring is loud in his ear and he wants nothing more than to just go to sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep.

"_Allen_?" Lenalee starts, carefully. "_How are you feeling_?"

"Never felt better," he mumbles, voice hoarse.

"_I suppose…you don't remember much."_

"Not really."

"_Makes sense. You were really out of it."_ He hears her shrug against the phone. "_What do you remember?"_

"Um…" Thinking makes his head hurt. "Going to the party. Dancing a bit. I don't – I don't know."

"_Alright. Well. Here's the thing."_ She pauses. _"You kissed Kanda." Knew it. "A lot. Like. You two were that couple who ends up having sex in front of everyone."_

"What!" He asks. "That – we – what?"

"_No, no, no, no. You didn't have sex. I mean, you might as well have been, but… Did you know that you really get into things? And that you're really loud?"_

"I – uh…" His body is freezing, so it's not a fever that's making him flush. He closes his eyes. "Lenalee. I."

"_Anyway. I'm pretty sure the two of you just stayed glued to the couch till about two in the morning. Then at some point Kanda had to bring you inside because you completely blacked out. You were – so drunk Allen. I don't know what you were drinking, or what kind of tolerance you have, but you were completely shitfaced. It was cute though, Kanda taking care of you_." She giggles a bit. "_Anyway, when we left, we kind of had to make this joint effort to get you to your room. Cross was, well, I'm sure you'll talk with Cross soon. Reever talked with him while Kanda and I went to bring you to your room. There was a slight detour to the bathroom where you had to like, puke out more than seems possible. It was really gross."_ She makes a strange noise.

"Sorry," he mumbles.

"_It's not your fault, really. Anyway, while you were having your little puking episode, Kanda seemed to have this epiphany and left really quickly. I got you into bed, got you your Ibuprofen and water and wrote you your little note_."

Allen fidgets a little, still feeling sick, still wanting to sleep. "Lenalee. I – what should I think about Kanda?"

"_What do you mean?"_

"What should I assume about how he feels?" He murmurs. He can't bring strength to his tone.

She pauses. _"It's never good to assume anything about Kanda's feelings._" She tells him, and he can hear the frown in her voice. "_But I mean, he was obviously just as into you as you were into him. In his own Kanda way. And then, I mean, if you didn't mean anything and he was just using you, he wouldn't have taken care of you. Even if he left a little early from your home, that he came at all is – well, endearing for Kanda."_

Allen must still be a little drunk. There must be some kind of alcohol in his system still, because all he wants to do is cry and throw up. He doesn't even know why. If it's relief or dread or what.

"I really like him," Allen mutters, voice hitching. "I don't even know why. I just like him so much."

"_I know_," Lenalee says, soothing. "_I know. Do you want me to come over?_"

Allen presses a palm to his forehead, inhales. "I – no, it's okay. I think I'm going to try to eat something and face the day."

"_Alright, Allen. Good luck. I love you_." She says.

"Bye. Love you, too."

And it's not even a lie. She's just – she's been so amazing to him. She's helped him and accepted him – even before he could accept himself. And he really does love her. Even if it's not romantically, he does.

The line goes dead and he deflates. He clenches his fists into the bed sheets, harshly, and breathes in and out for a few moments before getting up. He still doesn't feel one hundred percent, but, well, he needs something in his stomach. He looks at the time on his phone. It's four in the afternoon.

Cross is in the kitchen. Allen wobbles in, using the table as a crutch, and plops down into a chair. He rests his head in his arms and Cross sets down this red drink next to him.

"Drink," his godfather tells him. "Alcoholic godchild of mine."

"I'm not an alcoholic," Allen murmurs, not even giving the drink a thought until he tries it. Then he promptly runs to the sink to throw up what has to be nothing but stomach lining because he is _starving_. "What the hell _is_ that?"

"Hangover remedy. Eat something and finish it." He pauses. "You were out late last night."

"Sorry," Allen wipes his mouth and shuffles his way to the fridge, opening it and pulling out the loaf of bread there. He just sits there and starts working on that as he powers past his gag reflex and drinks the remainder of the 'remedy.'

"Where were you? That Reever guy was vague."

"A party."

"Oh, really? Never would have fucking guessed."

"Sorry," Allen repeats, nibbling on a slice of bread, wanting nothing more than to be asleep and in his bed. "I – if it makes you feel better, the night was shit. I feel horrible."

"You seemed to be enjoying that Kanda kid. Fucking draping yourself all over him."

Allen blushes. "I wasn't…thinking straight."

"Obviously. You were thinking gay."

"Funny." He really can't even bother to deal with Cross's shit right now. It's so bad that even though he's hungry, he can't eat. He sets down the bread, deciding it a lost cause, and looks up at Cross. "I think I'm gonna go back to sleep now," he mutters. He's so, so sleepy. He stands, then makes his way back to his room.

* * *

><p>Kanda doesn't make any moves to contact him, and Allen doesn't make any moves to contact Kanda. It – well, he would, if he thought Kanda would reply. He walks by Kanda's house on the first day back to school, and notices that the window his shut and the curtains are drawn. It's never been that way. Almost every day on the way to school, before, the window would at least be open. Kanda was there sometimes. They would argue on certain days, stay silent on others.<p>

After the fourth time, he finds a new route to school, one where he doesn't pass by Kanda's house every day. It's easier for him, to help him forget about everything. It doesn't really work though. He feels like he's never going to forget.

A month later, school ends.

* * *

><p>Lenalee's graduation was lovely. All filled with blue gowns and pretty girls, laughter and tears and hopefulness at their futures. It's a day filled with such happiness that it makes Allen completely forget Kanda. They drive out to the lake, Lenalee and Lavi and Miranda, and take turns riding on a Jet-ski.<p>

It's hot. So hot. The end of May is just – it's scorching and uncomfortable and half the time he feels like he's suffocating from the humidity in the air. Lavi's home for the summer, and Miranda is in Germany until the end of June visiting her family (he realizes now he should have asked her for help on his German homework); which leaves the three of them to spend pretty much every day together.

On June first, Lavi says:

"His birthday's on the sixth."

Lenalee replies with, "I know."

And Allen knows exactly who they're talking about.

"How is he?" He brings himself to ask.

"Shitty. I mean, he's not even Yu anymore. He doesn't snap back at you when you make comments or anything. I just don't think he cares." Lavi tells him.

"Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe the whole ignoring you thing?"

Allen sighs, resting his head on his hands. "I don't even care about that anymore," he says. And really, he stopped caring about that in the middle of May. It's just – Kanda is that type, he realized. He'll run away when faced with something like their situation. He doesn't blame him.

"Yu's a bitch," Lavi smiles.

"That's not very fair," Lenalee frowns. "He's had his own stuff to deal with."

They're silent.

"I think you should go see him," Lavi says finally.

"How about hell no?" Allen replies, leaning back in his chair.

"Why not?"

"Because, Lavi. I fucking told the guy I liked him and then sloppily made out with him in front of dozens of people. I don't think he enjoys my company very much."

There's another silence.

"He's in love with you, you know." Lavi says, and it's such a bold statement that Allen finds himself frozen. But only for a moment.

"Hah, sure," Allen snorts. "I could tell from all the chocolates and flowers."

Lavi laughs. "Oh come on. And besides, like I said – he's feeling guilty about ignoring you."

"I agree with Lavi." Lenalee says. "I think that if he hated you, he never would have kissed you back, let alone helped me bring you home. Besides, I've been sworn to secrecy, but he asked about you a lot that first week. I think he was waiting for you to come to him."

It makes sense. But, still…

He frowns. "I just – I don't know how to feel. I'd like to say I don't even care about him anymore, but that isn't true in the least. He's an asshole, though. He hurt me. And I don't want to have to be the one to go to him. Why do I have to be the mature one?"

"Because Yu doesn't understand relationships the same way we do. He's emotionally challenged and I mean – I. Okay, if I was Yu, this is how I'd see it," Lavi straightens. "You were really, really drunk that night, Allen. People, when they're drunk, aren't thinking right. They aren't in their right minds. So he probably imagines that everything you said was just because you were inebriated, which obviously isn't true, but he isn't a mind reader. Then, I think, he ran away because, well, he must have realized that he liked you a lot."

"I don't care why he ran." Allen says. "I don't care."

"Now you're lying."

"Listen, you guys. Kanda – a relationship with him is like fighting in a rigged match. There's only one possible way for everything to end up. I may not have known him as long as you guys have, but I've thought about this way more. Even if, per say, he did have feelings for me, he'd never, ever act on them. In all seriousness, he's the type to have one night stands, not committed relationships."

"You think you know him," Lenalee starts. "But you don't."

"Go see him," Lavi repeats.

"Whatever. Fine. I'll go see him. Nothing's going to change. I'm just going to walk away feeling worse than before."

"Go."

"Right now?"

"No, next year. Of course right now," Lavi laughs, standing and pulling Allen from his very comfortable seat. "Don't seem weak in front of him. He's like a cobra. He can smell fear."

Allen laughs a little. "That makes sense."

"Well, go on," Lenalee says, ushering him towards the door. "We'll be right here when you're done."

"Prepare an ambulance."

"911 is on speed dial. A necessity for being friends with Yu."

Allen bites his lip, then walks out the door.

* * *

><p>The walk to Kanda's house seems extraordinarily long. He really – well, he really doesn't want to see him. He kind of does, because he will always want to be next to Kanda, but the last time he saw Kanda was forever ago and it wasn't exactly on decent terms.<p>

He stands in front of his house for a few minutes, sees that the man's bedroom window is closed, the curtains are shut, then walks up to the front door and knocks.

He counts in his head, and it takes Kanda twelve seconds to open the door. Two to stare at Allen. An eighth of one to slam the door in his face.

"Kanda!" Allen yells. "How the hell do you have the gall to slam the door in my face?"

There is no reply.

"Kanda!" he repeats. "Lavi and Lenalee told me to come here and talk with you, and Goddamit I walked all the way here and we're going to talk!"

He's about to knock on the door again (or rather, beat on it) when Kanda opens it. He looks vulnerable then, hair down, framing his face, eyes a light cobalt.

"What?" After not hearing his voice for so long, Allen almost melts with the deep tone that greets him. Allen had almost forgotten what Kanda had sounded like.

"You know what," Allen tells him.

Kanda is quiet for a moment, then walks inside the house. He leaves the door open, and Allen follows him in.

He's never been in Kanda's house before – had used to dream of it, what it might look like. It's different than he imagined. The walls are line with artwork, the furniture elegant yet simple. It was Tiedoll's house, he remembers.

"Was he an artist?"

"Yes."

They walk into the kitchen, and Kanda pours Allen a glass of water, slams it down on the island in the middle of the room.

Allen frowns and says, "Thanks for the hospitality." He takes a sip then sets it back down. He's shaking, he realizes, and tries his best to stop. "I don't blame you."

"Why the fuck would you?"

"Oh, I don't know," Allen shrugs. "I guess nothing in particular except, oh wait, completely leaving me for like, a month."

"Leaving you? You're a fucking – a fucking…" Kanda seems lost for words. His body is so tense.

"A fucking what? Kanda, you left me. You know you did. I told you I cared about you and then you ran away."

"Bullshit! You were – you were shitfaced."

Allen frowns. "Why didn't you ask me afterwards? How I felt?"

Kanda is flushing. He's breathing harsh and Allen really feels like a physical fight is going to break out. "Bullshit." Kanda growls out. "You're a fucking liar. There's – That doesn't even make sense."

"What doesn't?"

Kanda laughs a humorless laugh. "You're just not going to accept any responsibility because you were drunk. You don't even remember half the night! You were so wishy-washy. Screaming about how much you loved me, and then two seconds later about how much you despised me, how you would never ever care about me. You didn't even realize what you were saying, let alone who you were speaking to. How the fuck am I supposed to treat that?"

Allen doesn't know what to say at first. Then:

"Kanda…" Allen starts. "Lavi said…Do you like me?"

"Fuck no." Kanda can't look him in the eye.

"_Did_ you like me?"

Kanda is quiet for a few moments. "I didn't hate you, and that was enough for me."

"Enough for you? Enough for you to what, use me?" Allen is starting to get angry, hurt more than before. His voice is picking up, he realizes.

"Shut the fuck up, what do you know?"

"What do you mean, what do I know? You just fucking told me."

"I never said I used you!" Kanda yells.

"You implied it!"

"Are you a fucking mind-reader now? I didn't use you! If anything, you used me! Draping yourself all over me in the middle of the fucking party, screaming nonsense back and forth."

"I liked you – I really, really liked you, Kanda! I hated you, but I liked you!"

Kanda doesn't respond at first. He realizes that what he said might not make sense, but, Kanda seems to accept it, almost like he felt the same way. "Liked?" Kanda spits out.

"What the hell do you want from me? You want me to tell you I still have feelings for you? Fine! I do! They aren't going to just disappear, and I realize that. But Kanda, I may like you, but I _can_ live without you." His words – he's never sounded so cruel in his life. He's never lied so badly in his life, either. He doesn't feel like he _can_ live without Kanda. Seeing him again – he's feeling everything all over as if it's brand new.

"Really?" Kanda growls, walking over to him, gripping his shoulders and shoving him against a wall harshly. His back aches, he groans in protest, and tries to shove Kanda off. Here are the physical blows this has come to. "Really?" He repeats.

"Of course," Allen nods, still trying to pry Kanda's fingers from his shoulders.

"Too bad."

Kanda kisses him, and it's harsh and he's hurting him, but Allen is slowly caring less and less. He doesn't want this to continue, doesn't want to let himself fall into Kanda's grasp like he was before – he was getting better. He still liked Kanda, but Kanda wasn't his world anymore.

Just from a kiss, that's all changing.

Kanda pulls back. "You're sober now. How do you feel?" He's angry, Allen can tell – used the kiss to try and prove his point. Whatever that is.

Allen's breathing is heavy. He can't seem to form a coherent thought. "Why'd you kiss me?" Is all he manages out.

"Why do you think?"

Allen falters. Then he realizes. "Did you always care for me?"

"Nice fucking assumption," Kanda says simply. It's all he says, and it's all he needs to say; even if it's supposed to sound harsh and ambiguous. Allen sinks to the kitchen floor, hits his head on the back of the wall. "You're an idiot," Allen mutters. "All this time and – well of course you'd never tell me."

A pause.

"Everything you said that night…" Kanda says. "It was true?"

"Probably. I – I was insane over you. I don't know why or how it started, but I was." He pauses.

"And what about now?"

"I was – well, I thought I was as over you as I was going to get." He looks Kanda right in the eye. "But I've never stopped caring. The feelings haven't been forgotten, just hidden – shoved away. I – Nothing's changed. I still like you."

Kanda smirks. He sinks down to the floor, in front of Allen, and kisses him. It's sweet and soft and – well, if Kanda's kiss before had drawn him in, Allen is lost now. He wraps his arms around Kanda's neck, sighs gently into the kiss.

"You know," Kanda says when they pull apart. "You didn't make any moves to come find me, either. For someone who claims they cared, you were pretty shitty about it."

"What was I supposed to think? I was embarrassed and hurt and I didn't think you liked me. I didn't ever think you would like me."

"Why?"

Allen laughs. "Look at you, you're perfect. I have this white hair and weird tattoo and ugly arm." Allen, in the summer when he's not doing anything or going out, wears short sleeves. Only when making grocery runs or other errands does he put on long sleeves. It elicits looks, and it makes him feel like passing out, but still – he'd rather that. Today: short sleeves.

"Perfect?" Kanda asks. He frowns a bit, takes Allen's left, black hand and holds it in his own. "I'm not perfect."

"You're beautiful," Allen murmurs, using his pale hand to run his fingers through Kanda's long hair. "I'm so out of your league it's ridiculous."

"Appearance isn't everything," Kanda scoffs. "If that's all you care abou-"

"It isn't. I think I – I think I initially liked you for how you looked, but that changed." He brings his right hand to rest on top of Kanda's. The man is still holding his left hand in the other one, and it feels weird to be holding hands with both arms, but – well, whatever. "You're strong and determined. You always try your best at everything; you're passionate to the extreme. You can be an arsehole, but in the end, you really care about everyone."

Kanda blushes, then scoffs.

"So you see? You have so much going for you, Kanda."

"Like you don't?" Kanda looks down at his hands. "God, you're a fucking genius – even if you can be a real idiot sometimes, you're still so fucking smart. Lenalee told me at one point you had a 'D' in one of your classes and brought the grade back up to an 'A' in two weeks. And, Jesus, you just make friends _so_ easily. Everyone just _adores_ you. And you adore everyone back. Fuck, even me, apparently. And – you don't know me, Beansprout. You may think I'm great, but you don't know me."

"Lenalee said the same thing." Allen pauses. "Why don't you _let_ me know you?"

Kanda scoffs. "And let the illusion be dissolved?"

Allen smiles a bit, takes his hands from Kanda's only to situate himself into a kneeling position, to get eye-level with Kanda. "I want to know everything about you," Allen tells him, taking his hands again. "I've always wanted to know everything about you. I've always wanted you to tell me your secrets, secrets you've never told anyone else."

Kanda looks at him, then sighs and says, "Fine. What do you want to know?"

Allen's fingers graze his chest. "You said you used to smoke a lot."

"I did."

"Why?"

Kanda's eyebrows furrowed. "Why does anyone? I was stressed a lot as a kid and when I was fourteen, someone offered me a cigarette. I took it. End of story."

Allen frowns. "That wasn't as interesting as I'd thought it'd be. Why were you stressed so much?"

"I don't know – I just was. Why do you stutter when you're embarrassed?"

"How do you know that?"

"You aren't the only one who speaks with Lenalee and Lavi."

"Hold on. Did they _know_ that you liked me?"

"Unless they're fucking idiots."

"Those aresholes…" Allen mutters. "They – those sadistic bastards. Did they tell you that I liked you?"

"Of course not."

"Kanda, I think we should go on a joint killing spree. Well, just them two, not really a spree. Okay, I like Lenalee – maybe just Lavi."

"I like you more as time goes on."

"Should we have a team name?"

"Don't ruin it."

* * *

><p>When they walk outside, Allen tries this silly little thing called holding Kanda's hand. Oh god, it's so, so gay – but whatever. And then Kanda tries this silly little thing called letting him. He kind of – well they're at each other's sides and pressed close enough together to where no one would really be able to tell, but he doesn't care. Kanda is letting him hold his hand and he feels amazing.<p>

"Goddammit…" Allen mutters.

"What?"

"Lavi, Lenalee, they…they knew how everything would work out from the beginning. With the whole 'I have to come to you' thing and just – everything. I think they knew from before I even told Lenalee that I liked you."

Kanda doesn't reply, and they walk the few blocks back to Allen's house in silence.

When they arrive, they pull their hands apart and Allen walks inside first.

"How'd it gooooo?" Lavi asks, legs crossed, staring at the TV. "Did ya have a '_good time'_?"

"Kanda!" Lenalee exclaims, standing. "Allen!" She's beaming, and she runs over to them. "We knew it!"

"Of course," Allen rolls his eyes.

"You never answered my question." Lavi says.

"Deliberately. By the way, if I were you, I'd sleep with one eye open." Allen warns.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Lavi whines. "Guys! Come on!" he pauses. "Wait – if that was an invitation for a threesome, count me in!"

"Can we kill him now?" Allen pleads. "Come on. Just this once."

Kanda smirks. "I don't see why not."

"That isn't fair! Please don't hurt me! Yu! Allen! Come on, Piglet! We're friends, right? Lenalee and I totally told you to go for it! And look; now you've got yourself a sex toy!"

Allen frowns. "That is so inappropriate!" he smacks Lavi's arm – hard. "Sex toy? What does that even mean!"

"Well, it means that you use his c-"

"Shut up!" Kanda growls, punching him in the other arm.

"Look at this," Lenalee smiles. "Our family's back to normal."

* * *

><p>Everything is not back to normal. Well, it's not that it's bad, because he likes this more than before, but it isn't normal. Because there's this strange – well, Allen isn't really sure of how to describe it. They aren't exactly dating, because they haven't gone on a single date yet, and well, Kanda isn't exactly his boyfriend, but they pretty much do all of the same things that boyfriends would do. Pretty much.<p>

Okay, all they do is make out and watch movies and listen to music and go on walks and eat together occasionally. Which is, well, maybe that's what normal people in relationships do, but he wouldn't know. And it's funny that their interests cross sometimes. Like, there are eighties movies that Allen totally adores that have music in them that Kanda total adores. And like, that they both have this deep, deep hate for Cross because he doesn't know how to not make comments about how _gay_ they are. And that they both really like making out.

Like, seriously. Kanda stayed after Lavi and Lenalee left that day and he ended up climbing out of Allen's window because they stayed in his room until like, three in the morning and Cross has this thing about Kanda being in his house. It probably stems from the bedroom intrusion that happened so long ago.

But there are some things they don't agree on.

There's, like, this thing Allen has for hearing Kanda say his name, but Kanda must get embarrassed or something because he refuses to say his name – ever. Except sometimes when they're kissing. And like, Kanda absolutely hates the fact that Allen tends to get touchy-feely while they're out.

For instance, on June 3rd, two days after they 'got together' they decide to go get lunch from the Union. Chick-Fil-A again because, well, that's just another thing that they're both interested in. Kanda because it's a menu full of chicken and Allen because it's, you know, food. They end up in the union and get their food and they're talking when this 'friend' of Kanda's shows up (Friend is used loosely because Kanda considers very few people his friend and this guy annoyed even _Allen_).

This guy ends up dragging a chair and sitting with them, and Kanda has to straight up tell him to go away at one point because he's bitching about some CD he just got and he won't _stop_. Allen gets this intense swelling of pride because it's Kanda who is just telling this dude to 'fuck off because he's busy.' So Allen goes pat his knee. Kanda scoots away. Allen frowns. Kanda blushes.

Well, it's not like Kanda doesn't have his reasons for not being touchy-feely in public, but he still wishes he could at least get close to him.

Two days before Kanda's birthday, the two of them meet with Lavi and Lenalee for snowballs. Which – well at first they sound disgusting. Shaved ice and flavored syrup? Then they get there and he orders the same thing as Kanda – plain chocolate – and falls in love.

Like, really. They are delicious and cold and everything a summer treat should be rolled into a giant cup filled with awesome. Lavi gets this Wedding Cake flavor and Lenalee gets Bubblegum and they're all chatting it up and enjoying the snowballs when Lavi starts acting like…well, Lavi.

He takes a spoonful of his Wedding Cake and flicks it at Allen. "Score!" he screams when it hits him right in Allen's face. He flicks some at Kanda, then, and it lands right on the _inside of the dark haired man's thigh_. "Oh come on guys," He starts as Kanda growls and tries his best to wipe the snowball off. But, well, it ends up looking really awkward. Allen's trying to wipe the rest of the snowball from his face. "Listen, I agree that it's a totally hot scene, you know, sticky white shit all over Allen's face. But that is no reason to j –"

Kanda throws the entirety of his snowball in Lavi's face. "I thought it fitting, since, you know, all you spew from that mouth of yours is shit."

Allen has never liked anyone more.

One day before Kanda's birthday, Allen, Lavi, and Lenalee meet up at Lenalee's house and try and make plans. Lavi gets it in his head that it would be a fantastic idea to just go to Wal-Mart and buy shitloads of soba noodles. Which, well, they end up doing because the soba there is super cheap and actually super good, he soon learns. Kanda might have told them he didn't like it, but Lenalee is fairly sure he does. So they end up with about thirty dollars' worth of soba noodles and they have to store it in Lavi's house because, well, Allen will probably end up eating it in the middle of the night if they don't. And Lenalee just doesn't feel like having it in her house.

At eleven thirty at night, Allen, Lavi, and Lenalee sneak into Kanda's house (Allen has learned how to pick locks over the years – he is a very cultured young boy from all that time with Cross) and put the dried noodles all over his living room, kitchen, and Allen, in a stroke of some kind of maddening display of audacity, creeps up to Kanda's room and places one on Kanda's pillow next to him. Somehow, he doesn't wake up.

At eleven fifty-nine, Allen, Lavi, and Lenalee all crowd upstairs around the door to Kanda's room.

At midnight, they yell a loud chorus of, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KANDA!"

* * *

><p><strong>Really, you're supposed to feel bad for both of them in this chapter, but my muse just felt bad for Kanda. She was so pissed at Allen the entire time she was reading it. It was pretty funny, actually.<strong>

**I bought Duran Duran's 'Greatest' CD yesterday and it's literally been playing on repeat since I did.** **Obsession? Fuck no I'm not obsessed. Animotion is.**

**If you get that. Um. I love you.**

**Review, my loves. Review! They make me so happy face! **

**Replies:**

**inawe: Lol Allen is just a little doucher when he's drunk. And I love him for that. Haha thanks. It wasn't really MY idea, but my mothers. I can't claim that XD Thank you! I hope you _continue_ to love this :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Um...Happy Birthday in October, Kanda. I guess. I don't know. Bizzaro birthday. **

**Enjoy some kind of sort of Yullen fluff...**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

Kanda is out of bed so quickly, Allen doesn't see him moving. It's just – Kanda's in bed, then he's out of it. Lavi had told them that they had about four seconds before Kanda woke up enough to realize what the hell was happening, so they take advantage of these four seconds and bolt from in front of his room. Because, really, they aren't going to stand there and wait to die.

Everyone's laughing except for Kanda.

Lenalee is first down the stairs (she's a fast little bugger), followed by Lavi, then him. But see, the thing about pranking someone in the middle of the night is that you can't turn on any lights. So, it's not really that much of a surprise when Allen's foot connects with a container of soba noodles on one of the stairs and trips forward, knocking them all to the ground.

From their piled mess on the ground, they look up. They can barely see Kanda's outline at the top of the stairs, so they scramble away, split up. Allen hasn't been in his house more than once, so he's kind of at a disadvantage and keeps running into shit. Then light floods one of the rooms downstairs and he can see a little better.

He bites his lip, decides maybe it's better to hide. He ends up shoving himself in a cabinet in the kitchen, pressed against all kinds of spices and soba and shit. He tries to quiet his breathing, listens to hear for painful cries or growls of agitation. He doesn't hear either of those things.

Then the door is opening and he only takes a moment to register that Kanda somehow knew he was in there before he ducks under the man's arm and begins running away again.

"Kanda!" he exclaims, laughing. "Come on, it's your birthday! No need to be all uppity!" Then Kanda's tackled him to the ground and Allen figures that well, maybe he doesn't mind Kanda tackling him to the ground. Because they're just a tangled mess of limbs and they're scrambling around, Allen squeaking, Kanda growling. So he takes the opportunity and kisses Kanda. It kind of works, the man stills and Allen is about to run away, but then Kanda starts kissing him back and the plan has kind of backfired because now they're rolling on the floor in an entirely different manner.

"Oh come on guys," Allen hears Lavi's voice and has really, really never hated him more. "Get a room."

They part, and Kanda actually body slams Lavi to the ground. Then Lenalee walks in, curious, and he picks her up, throws her over his shoulder, and dumps her on top of Lavi.

"What the fuck?" He asks once they're all together. Lavi's kind of groaning on the ground – the wind looks like it was completely knocked of him.

"Happy birthday?" Lenalee says encouragingly. She smiles at him nervously, and picks herself up off the ground.

"What the fuck?" Kanda repeats and Lavi takes his turn to try and explain.

"You see, Yu -"

"Shut the fuck up, I don't want _you_ to explain." He looks pointedly at Allen.

"Why am I stuck with the responsibility?" Allen cries. "It was all Lavi's idea!" Kanda crosses his arms and Allen says, "Think of it this way, you will never run out of soba noodles."

Kanda growls something that sounds remotely like, 'I can't believe I kissed this idiot,' and stomps away, down the hall. Allen kind of thinks that everything is going to be okay when Lavi gasps.

"Yu! Come on, Yu! We're all friends here! Please don't go into the scary room and get Mugen! We're all friends! Please don't hurt me!" Lavi cries, scrambling up. "Come on, Yu, my love!" A door slams against a wall, and Allen isn't sure of whether it's being slammed open or shut, but he does know that Kanda probably doesn't enjoy Lavi calling him 'his love.' "Allen, you try!"

"I don't even know what's going on!" He replies, tone hushed. "Who's Mugen?"

Lavi grows silent. "There's something you need to know – about your boyfriend," he says dramatically. "He's actually a samurai from ancient Edo and Mugen is hi-"

"He isn't my boyfriend," Allen mutters, blushing, totally ignoring everything else Lavi said. Then Kanda walks in with this slasher smile and in his hand is – well it has to be a katana.

"Yu!" Lavi squeaks and Kanda's terrifying smile grows as he unsheathes the sword slightly, a glint of silver shining amongst the dark.

"Kanda!" Allen says, perhaps going crazy because he's walking up to Kanda and placing his hands over Mugen. "This is dangerous. You don't want to hurt us really, do you?"

Kanda considers him for a moment, then completely unsheathes Mugen. Allen steps back and Kanda points it at his forehead. "Maybe not you," he says, then goes to point it at Lavi. "But this was his idea. Now, you all can either clean up my goddamn house, or Lavi can die."

Well, that would put an end to a lot of their problems, but they can't kill him because then, well, they'd go to jail. And Allen wouldn't do well in jail.

So they scramble around and it ends up taking them longer to pick up the thirty-five or so containers of soba than it took them to hide them. Mainly because they just threw them all over the place at first and now they have to find them.

When they regroup in the kitchen, soba stacked neatly against his wall near his cabinet, Allen looks at the clock on the stove and sees that it's close to two. He doesn't really feel tired at all, though. When Kanda is sure that they've picked up all the soba (Which he accomplishes by making Lavi take out the receipt and match each container) he sheaths Mugen and places it on the island.

"Kanda…" Allen starts. "Why do you have that?"

Kanda leans over the countertop of the island and surveys the katana. It is very beautiful, Allen has to admit. "That man got it for me for my eleventh birthday."

"_Eleventh_?"

"Tiedoll was a bit eccentric," Lenalee laughs. "It was dulled at first, right?" Kanda nods. "Yeah, he made sure he got Kanda a dulled sword, but that didn't stop him. He just went and got it sharpened a couple weeks later."

"It stays in the scary place," Lavi whispers, eyeing Mugen rather like a scared and unfamiliar animal might.

"Scary place?"

"Weapon's room," Kanda rolls his eyes. "Come on." He begins walking in the same direction he had before, and Allen follows him. Meanwhile, Lenalee pats Lavi on the back, trying to cheer him up a bit.

"He was gonna kill me!" Allen hears him whimper, and has to stifle a laugh. Kanda smirks a bit and opens a door at the far end of the hall. When Kanda flips on the light, Allen holds his breath. He can see how Lavi is scared of the place. The room isn't very large, but it is very _full_. There are two armoires filled with what must be hunting guns to one wall – the wall to their left. The wall in front of them is lined with swords – rapiers, katanas, broadswords, probably about twelve or thirteen. The right wall is a large window, overlooks the backyard and there's a velvet loveseat underneath it. The wall that has the door, the final wall, is a single, very large armoire filled with trophies.

"He liked to showcase our talents," Kanda frowns. "He'd bring people in here all the time to show them."

Allen presses his fingers on the glass and looks in. There are all kinds of trophies in here, and he can see all their names on them – Kanda Yu, Noise Marie, Daisya Barry, Chaoji Han. Then Kanda is lightly pushing him to the side and unlocking the case. He pushes the glass to the side and points to one at the top. "That was my first trophy I won with Mugen."

It isn't big, but Kanda sets it in his hands and he realizes it's fairly heavy. He surveys it and says, "He must have been so proud of you."

Kanda scoffs and runs fingers through his bangs. He's since pulled his hair back up into its usual, high ponytail. "He was an idiot. Always getting excited or upset about useless things."

Allen smiles. "I wish I could have known him. He sounds like an amazing man."

"Che," Kanda sneers, but he isn't putting any effort behind the expression. Allen hands the trophy back to Kanda.

"Your brothers, they were talented like you, huh?"

"We all have our own interests and we happen to be good at them. Marie's blind, but he's always excelled in music, and Daisya likes soccer – Chaoji wrestles. Well, they all used to do those things, I don't have any idea what they're doing now. And I don't care."

"You don't even keep in touch with them?" Allen frowns.

"They try," there is actually a bit of disgust behind his sneer now. "They'll probably show up sometime today and encroach on my personal life yet again."

"They're your brothers, of course they would," Allen says. "You know, I've always kind of wished I could have brothers."

"You can take them," Kanda snarls. "They're aggravating." He sets the trophy back on the top shelf and shuts the armoire and locks it before Allen wraps his arms around Kanda's waist and nuzzles his face in Kanda's chest. The dark haired man freezes. "What?" He asks.

"They remind you of him, huh? When you all lived together?"

Kanda pries Allen's arms from around him, doesn't say anything as he turns off the light and leaves the room. Allen follows him and they make their way back to the kitchen.

"You are going to have nightmares tonight, Piglet," Lavi tells him. "I had bad dreams for weeks."

"You're exaggerating," Allen laughs, but Lenalee and Kanda are shaking their heads. Well, Kanda is kind of scary, but – well, maybe he isn't as scared of Kanda because Kanda doesn't threaten him as much. Lavi is threatened daily. Hourly, perhaps.

"Would all of you please get out of my house now?" Kanda asks. It's about two-fifteen, and Allen can see how he wouldn't want people in his house so early in the morning. So they all concede without argument and Lenalee and Lavi pile into his car.

"I wonder if Komui would let me sleep over…" Lavi wonders, and they all share a good laugh over that one, because – ha, Komui letting someone of the opposite stay in his house overnight. They drive off, and Allen turns to Kanda to tell him good night, or good morning, or whatever.

"Sorry," Allen grins, and he interlaces his fingers with Kanda's.

"Whatever," Kanda replies, looking away. He's lit by only the street lights, his skin seeming to sparkle in the false light and his eyes are dark, so dark.

"No need to be so angry," Allen grumbles. "We were just trying to give you a happy birthday."

"You thought breaking into my house and littering it with cheap soba was the best way to do that?"

"Now, when you put it like that…" Allen starts. "That's not fair, though, we spent a lot of money on all that soba."

"Are you expecting a thank you?"

"I didn't even know that word was in your vocabulary."

"We're back on vocabulary? I'm not in fucking high school anymore."

"No, but that's because you're so old. I don't even know why I'm talking with such an old guy."

"I'm only twenty-one, that isn't old."

"I'm only seventeen, it's older than me. You must get confused because of how mature I am."

"That's it. Maturity. Because what you three did tonight was so mature."

"Just because you have a stick up your arse, it doesn't mean we can't have fun."

_Wow. Awkward. Nice wording there, Allen. _

Neither of them say anything to that, mainly because – well, yes, Allen doesn't know how to think before he opens his mouth. Their fingers are still entwined, and Kanda just ends up pulling Allen to his chest, letting them stay like that for a bit.

"You generally know how to hold your own in a conversation with me," Kanda tells him. "It usually makes things interesting. For now, though, just shut the fuck up."

Allen concedes, releasing Kanda's hands to wrap his arms around Kanda's waist. "Happy birthday," he whispers.

"You really don't understand what 'shut the fuck up' means, do you?"

"Arsehole. I was just wishing you a happy birthday…" Allen grumbles, cheek on Kanda's shoulder. Kanda leans back from Allen a bit then, kisses him sweetly on the lips. "You're a romantic, aren't you?" Allen grins when they separate from the chaste kiss.

"You are really aggravating. It's late, come inside." Kanda says, pulling away completely and walking towards his door. Allen frowns a bit and Kanda sighs harshly. "Just come on. I'm not – just come on."

Allen nods a bit and follows him inside, and Kanda goes to shut off all the lights, grabs his hand lightly and brings him upstairs. "Should I feel nervous?"

"Shut up," Kanda rolls his eyes, flips on the light to his room. Before, Allen hadn't gotten a good look at it, but with the lights on, he can see it well. "If you really don't want to stay the night you can leave. But it's three in the morning and pitch black outside. You'd probably get hit by a car or some shit."

Allen breathes out a laugh. "Nah, my hair kind of works like a flashlight. People can see it from far away in the dark."

Kanda smirks at him and Allen busies himself with surveying the contents of Kanda's room. It's rather big, carpeted, with a double bed pushed against the left wall. There's a bookcase on the right wall, filled with CDs and books and there's a dresser with a gramophone and a stack of records next to it.

"You have a record player," Allen laughs. "Is this – Frank Sinatra? Kanda, really?" He asks as he flips through the records, pulls out a twelve inch and reads the title.

"It was that man's, I wasn't going to let it rot."

He puts it on the player. "This is totally the gayest thing I've ever done," Allen says as he holds out his hand to Kanda. "Dance with me?"

"I agree. It's worse than kissing another man." Kanda smirks slightly and takes his hand. They silently glide along to the music, movements smooth, natural. "He liked jazz," Kanda says. "Used to fill the house with it."

"Bet you miss it," Allen says, head on his shoulder.

"How? I own the damn record, I can listen to it whenever I want." Kanda just looks straight, keeps his hand on Allen's waist. A lull in the conversation.

"Why do you always get to lead?"

"Because you're a Beansprout."

"How unfair."

"Blame your genes. I bet your parents were both midgets as well."

"I'm not a midget. And I don't even remember my biological parents."

"Me neither."

Allen laughs. "What a funny thing to have in common." He pauses. "How is already June? How has so much time passed?"

"I didn't think you were that much of an idiot…"

"Shut up, you know what I mean. I just – it's flown by. Mardi Gras seems like it was forever ago." The music shifts.

"_Come fly with me, we'll fly, we'll fly away_," the gramophone sings.

Allen laughs and their steps change a little. Kanda shakes his head as Allen twirls out and back in. "You've out-gayed yourself," Kanda smirks.

"Whatever," Allen mumbles, still smiling. "Where'd you learn to dance?" His steps are so sure, perfect.

"He tended to drag us around to a lot of places when I was younger. You pick up on things. How come you aren't falling all over yourself?"

"Mana taught me before he died," Allen says. Surprisingly, he doesn't ache when he says it. "I guess it's like riding a bike, you just don't forget."

"Muscle memory," Kanda says. Allen spins again and Kanda lets out a breath that may be something like a laugh.

"You don't show many people this side of you, do you?" Allen asks. "It's certainly new to me."

"I don't care about many people."

Allen laughs. "No, you don't." The song ends and Allen goes to take the record off the player. "What do you want to listen to?" He isn't tired at all, actually. He wouldn't mind just staying up all night with Kanda, and maybe this was what the dark haired man had in mind when he brought him up to his room. He really is a romantic.

Kanda comes up behind him, Allen can feel him flushed against his back. "Put this on," He says, leaning over Allen and handing him a record. Allen doesn't look at the tile, just puts it on.

"Duran Duran?" Allen laughs.

"I like this record." Kanda says simply.

"So we switch from jazz to this. Okay, I can live with that. I don't think we can dance to it though."

"We don't have to dance," Kanda informs him, dragging him to the bed.

"No we don't," Allen agrees with a smirk. He presses his lips to Kanda's gently, lets the older man take the lead and deepen the kiss.

He really – he's never going to get tired of kissing Kanda. Ever. The man is very responsive, passionate, makes Allen feel like he's _wanted_. And Allen's never really kissed anybody else, but he guesses that Kanda's is fairly good as kissers go. Fairly amazing really.

And Allen tends to lose himself a lot. His accent gets all husky and half the time Kanda can't even understand what he's saying because he uses all this slang from when he lived in England. Allen never ever really uses rhyming slang because it definitely confuses people way to much but he's kind of giddy and loose after kissing Kanda when he says something like. "Bloody hell – my stomach's all Lee Marvin." And Kanda just kind of bends away from him and raises an eyebrow. "I'm hungry," Allen clarifies, remembering that they are in fact in America – not England.

"You do that a lot when you're drunk as well – talk to where I can't understand what comes out of your mouth."

"Sorry," Allen mumbles. "It's just rhyming slang. Like, Lee Marvin rhymes with starving. It's just – I don't know."

"It's fucking stupid. Go eat if you want."

"You are just giving me free reign of your kitchen?" Allen asks, incredulous and perhaps a bit hopeful.

"Fuck that, come on."

Kanda leads him down the stairs to the kitchen, and even rooms away he can still hear the music playing.

"Hey Kanda?" Allen asks, getting a container of soba and preparing it.

"What?" Kanda asks, bored, leaning over the island.

"How do you afford to live here?"

"The mortgage is paid off. It's been paid off for, like, four years." He pauses. "And I have a job of fucking course. I couldn't survive without a paycheck."

"What do you do?" Allen presses the number four on the microwave and leans against the countertop. "Oh hey, first, can I have another one?"

"Whatever."

"Thanks!" Allen begins preparing another. "Nothing like a little snack at three thirty in the morning! Now, again, what do you do?"

"How do you still have energy?" Kanda asks him. "I'm a lab assistant at the university."

"So you have one of those cool coats?"

Kanda sighs, loudly. "I have a lab coat, if that's what you mean."

They're silent until the first round of soba is done. Allen puts the other in the microwave and mixes the flavoring in the cooked noodles before placing a forkful in his mouth. "Hey, why don't you let anyone call you by your first name?"

"Because it's annoying."

"But everyone else uses their first name."

"I don't."

"Can I call you Yu?"

"No."

"Will you call me Aren?"

"Shut up."

"Aw, it's cute. Come on."

"Shut up," Kanda repeats, ears turning red. Allen takes another large bite of soba and walks around the island. He pulls Kanda's hair from its ponytail.

"Please?" Allen smirks, playing with the strands.

"Go eat."

"You suck," Allen mutters, walking back to his soba. "And you're just letting me eat all of your birthday present – that's so unfair."

"I'd rather you eat that than the other food in my house."

"I'm offended."

"Good." Kanda pulls his hair back up with an extra hair tie he had around his wrist.

"Why don't you keep your hair down? I like it down."

"It's annoying down. It gets everywhere."

"Why don't you cut it?"

"I don't want to."

"Okay then," Allen says simply, sighing. "Whatever." He just starts eating again, is finished by the time the second one is ready. He's eating that when he wonders something. "Hey, is it some cultural thing, why we can't use each other's first name?"

Kanda sighs. "It's just too familiar."

"Too familiar? Kanda, we're – whatever we're doing. I'm in your house at three thirty in the morning, eating your food. I don't know if we're going to get more familiar than this."

"Fine, _whatever_. Call me what you want."

"Okay, _Yu_. But now you have to call me Allen."

"Will you shut up if I do?"

"Probably."

"Okay, _Allen_." He stresses the syllables.

"That is not as cute," Allen mumbles. "You are so un-cute."

"I'm a grown man. I hope I'm 'un-cute,'" Kanda snaps back. "Eat your goddamn food."

"Someone's pissy all of a sudden…" Allen totally doesn't pout. Because that would make him a thirteen year old girl. He finishes his food, tosses the containers in the trash and the fork in the sink. "I don't know why you get so defensive all of a sudden. You're fine and then all of a sudden you put up all these walls, like you remember something and have to get angry again."

Kanda scoffs. "You're imagining things, Beansprout."

"I don't want to fight on your birthday," Allen frowns. "I just want you to stop being so angry. Why do I always have to be mature one?"

"Mature one?" Kanda barks out a laugh. "Sure."

"I always have to come all the way, we can never meet half-way. Why don't you _try_ that?"

"Meeting you half-way? Fine." Kanda walks half their distance to Allen and then says, "You walk the rest of the way."

"That isn't what I mean," Allen growls.

"Come here."

"No."

"Come here, Beansprout."

"No."

"Stop being a damn hypocrite and come here."

Allen huffs and walks the rest of the distance towards him. "Why do you have to be such an arsehole?"

"Why do you have to be so fucking annoying?" Kanda asks, wrapping his arms around Allen and resting his chin on his head. "I get angry because you don't listen."

"I'm not your pet," Allen mutters.

"At least shut up when I tell you."

"What if I don't want to?"

"I don't care. _Shut up_." Allen shuts his mouth and just kind of stays in that embrace for a few minutes, lets Kanda tug him to his room again. "You want to give me something for my birthday? Be quiet this time. Don't talk about how hungry you are, or anything," Kanda pushes Allen on the bed and kneels over him. "Just let me kiss you."

They're kissing again, and Allen thinks he can comply with Kanda's birthday wish just this once. Allen clutches Kanda closer and kisses him deeply, presses his body as close to Kanda's as he can. When Kanda's hands run under Allen's shirt, Allen does his best not to make any noises. Kanda smirks a bit at Allen's extremely concentrated face and Allen would make a comment usually, but he doesn't.

"Can I just say one thing?"

"What?" Kanda asks, nipping at Allen neck.

Allen arches into Kanda and says, "I really like you. A lot."

Kanda hums a "Yeah," against his collarbone and Allen bites at Kanda's lip, makes the kiss less passionate and more playful.

It's a competition now. Allen is pretty much letting Kanda lead, but he still does little things to threaten his dominance. That ends when Kanda 'playfully' lifts Allen by his ass and sits him in Kanda's lap. Allen lets out a small sound of surprise and Kanda lifts his shirt over his head, detaching their mouths for only a moment.

"Yu," Allen whispers, feeling a bit drugged already from Kanda's kiss.

Kanda must as well because he whispers back, "Aren."

"Happy birthday."

Kanda smirks against his throat and lays him down again, presses his hips into Allen's.

Allen loses all coherent thought.

* * *

><p>They fell asleep at some point, and end up not waking up until about two in the afternoon. Well, Allen wakes up around two in the afternoon and Kanda is just lying there, eyes open, watching him.<p>

"Afternoon," Allen smiles.

"Lenalee and Lavi called. They wanted to go to lunch, but you were sleeping."

"Sorry," Allen stretches, letting out a noise.

"Stop making those noises," Kanda breathes, closing his eyes. "You sound like a fucking whore."

"I can't help it," Allen tells him, frowning now. His phone is in his pocket still, so he takes it out. "Oh look, two texts from Lavi."

_Morning, Lover-Boy. How're you feeling? Your back doesn't hurt does it? You used enough lube? Anyway, Lenalee and I were wondering if you wanted to go to lunch._

_Oh, sorry, you're probably busy, so I'll leave you to it. ;D_

Ah, Lavi. Tactful as always.

"I wonder if he can go a conversation without saying something inappropriate."

"I've never heard a conversation like that," Kanda tells him.

"I guess we should get up, then," Allen says, turning on his side to face Kanda. He runs his fingers down Kanda's chest and Kanda scoffs, climbing over him to get out of bed.

"We should."

"…Hey Kanda, did you just hear the doorbell ring?" Allen asks, sitting up.

"You're hearing things."

"I don't think so – I think, I think someone's just come in through the front door."

"Beansprout – really, you're…" He pauses. "Is someone walking up my fucking stairs?" He grinds out. "The only people who have keys are…"

"Shhh, be quiet," Allen hears from outside the door. "He's like a small animal. Any sudden movements or noises and he'll run!"

"Fuck." Kanda growls. "Hurry up and put on your shirt. _Now_."

Allen really does scramble for his shirt, but he ends up getting tangled in the sheets and falling flat on his face. Why does this feel so familiar? Then the door opens and Allen just kind of wants to die because he just face planted on Kanda's floor and now people who Kanda apparently knows are walking in and he's shirtless and this just feels really, really awkward and really, really painful.

Kanda runs his hands over his face.

"Kanda! Happy birth…do you have a small, naked child in your room?"

Allen groans and tries his best to lift himself, but just ends up tumbling/summersaulting over himself and tearing the blankets off the bed completely. He unravels himself from the sheets and looks at the three men inhabiting the bedroom.

"Cute," The guy continues. He – for some reason he has these purple markings on his cheeks "And flexible. But I don't think he's worth going to _jail_ over."

"I'm seventeen!" Allen exclaims, throwing his shirt on as quickly as possible. "Who are you?"

"Who are _you_?" Another one says. He's short, with messy hair and dull eyes.

"My name's, uh, Allen," Allen says, swiping hair from his forehead. This is so, so awkward.

"So he's legal and British. You really hit the jackpot, Kanda." The one with purple markings laughs. The bald one with closed eyes has been silent the whole time. "Anyway, my name's Daisya. That's Chaoji, and that's Marie." Holy shit. "We're Kanda's brothers."

* * *

><p>What could possibly be more awkward than this? Absolutely nothing. Not a thing. Because having your –what Kanda is to him – having Kanda's brother's show up while you're shirtless and in his bed is just weird. Very weird.<p>

Now they're all kind of sitting downstairs, Allen and Kanda on one couch and his three brothers on the one facing them. Then Lavi and Lenalee walk in and there are just too many damn people in this house right now.

"Ah! Daisya! Chaoji! Marie!" Lavi exclaims, bounding in. "It's so awesome to see you guys again!"

"Lavi!" Daisya smiles. "Oh man, it's been too long! How come we never see you anymore?"

"I don't know! Hey, hey, since Allen and Kanda were totally doing it during lunch earlier today Lenalee and I were thinking we could go out to dinner! We should all go!"

Allen starts choking. Like, actually choking. Kanda has to hit him on the back _hard_ so he can breathe again.

Marie nods. "That would be good," he says. No one pays mind to what Lavi said or how Allen was pretty much just dying.

"It's so early in the afternoon, though," Chaoji says.

"We don't have to go right _now_," Lavi says. "We could totally do something for a while and then go eat. We brought a movie over and we were totally gonna invade his living room and watch it."

Lavi holds the movie up and Allen smiles. "Hey, I have that movie," He says.

"Yeah, we wanted to watch BreakfastClub, but we didn't have it, so we went to your house and got yours." He hands the DVD to Allen.

"What! You went into my house and took one of my movies!"

"Totally. That Cross character, though, oh man I like him. He actually encouraged us to take them all. He said something about how you were already 'gaying up the house' enough."

"I actually think I'm going to kill him." Allen says, holding the movie to his chest. "Giving away my movies. These movies are like, half my _life_."

"You're dating a kid with priorities, Kanda," Daisya laughs, and Allen pouts at him a bit.

They aren't really dating, but neither of them make a move to correct the guy.

"Why not?" Marie asks. "Put the movie in."

"Wait, but. I mean." He looks at Kanda. It's _his_ birthday.

"Just put it in, Beansprout."

"I'll pop the popcorn!" Lavi exclaims, hopping into the kitchen.

* * *

><p>They decide to go to this Japanese place for dinner, and Lavi decides that they have to eat Hibachi because, well, he likes it. So, screw Kanda wanting to sit at the sushi bar, they're gonna go get egg flicked at their face. Because that's what they do at Hibachi apparently, take turns flicking egg at your face and you have to catch it with you mouth. It makes for hilarious conversation, true, but he got hit in the eye once and it <em>hurt<em>. He still ate it of course, but it hurt nonetheless. Kanda, actually, caught every single one and Lavi looked like he was about to cry from laughter.

What seems to upset Kanda the most is that he can't get his soba, because he apparently really likes the soba at this restaurant. He ends up actually getting in an argument with the manager and he almost gets them all kicked up. Fortunately, Marie comes to rescue and talks to him and Kanda gets some kind of chicken and grumbles the entire time he eats on it.

The overall best part of the evening, though, was when Lavi decided it was a good idea to tell the restaurant it was Kanda's birthday and they gave him a pin, a hat, and sung him Happy Birthday in broken English. He just kind of sat there for the duration of it, looking murderous.

When they leave, Lavi actually can't drive home because Kanda punched him in his one good eye and it swelled shut. So they all have to pile up in Marie's SUV and squeeze together. Lenalee ends up having to sit on Lavi's lap and Allen has to sit on Kanda's lap and it's just weird and awkward.

Kanda probably had the worst twenty-first birthday in recorded history.

* * *

><p><strong>It was good for me...was it good for you?<strong>

**...The sexual-ness of the joke cannot be portrayed well over the internet. Anyway, I love you guys. Really. **

**I'm giving you bedroom eyes through the internet. **

**Anyway, so is anyone else working on Yullen Weeks? Let me know!** **I'm so excited to read everyone's entries. It's going to be like a Yullen tidal wave of orgasmic proportions! ...I'm a lot more naughty this chapter, aren't I?**

**Replies:**

**inawe: While that's probably not a fantastic financial investment, it would be DAMN awesome XD Lol it's just someone with 'douchebaggish' qualities. Like. An asshole, I suppose. lol That is very true...haha thanks! I'm glad :)  
><strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**Think about this: Out of the four of them, the best driver is Lavi. And he only has one usable eye. **

**Enjoy.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11 <strong>

"Here. Now just stick th -"

"Wait, Lavi, I don't think I can do this."

"You can do it, Al, come on. Just stick it in and-"

"But are you _sure_? I mean, there could be severe consequences if we go through with this."

"Don't you think you've waited long enough? You're already seventeen."

"Yes, but-"

"Will you just stick the motherfucking key in the motherfucking ignition so we can _go_?"

Kanda's tone is eerily calm, even though he's been forced to sit in the backseat and even though they've been sitting in Allen's driveway for about twenty minutes. Lavi had gotten this _fantastic_ idea that involved Allen and driving – but anything involving Allen and coordination is decidedly not good and certainly not fantastic.

Squinting and exhaling harshly, Allen puts the key in the ignition and turns expectantly to Lavi.

"Wha – kid, have you ever been in a car before?"

"Of course I have."

"Have you ever been in the _front seat_?"

"Yes, what are you getting at? I realize how to start the thing, I just want to know what you're expecting out of this. If you really want to die, I'm sure Kanda would help."

Kanda snorts and Allen takes that as an affirmative.

"Come on, Allen, it's going to be alright. Just start the car and put it in reverse. Back out the drive and we'll make our way to breakfast." Lenalee says, leaning between the front seats and smiling at him.

Biting his bottom lip, he turns the key in the ignition, holds it there until he hears the engine going. "If we make it there."

The thought of breakfast really excites him, though, so he puts the car in reverse and then gently presses on the accelerator. Rather like how an elephant might gently step on it, with his foot pressed to the floor and the engine revving before they tear out of the driveway.

"Fuck," Kanda snarls, holding onto the seat. "Calm the hell down, Beansprout."

"Listen, I'm _trying_."

Clutching his chest, wide-eyed, Lavi says, "Okay, okay. It's fine. Next time we aren't using my vehicle, but this is fine. Just, put it in drive and we'll go." Right foot pressed on the brake, he pulls back on the gear shift. "No, that's first; drive, Allen, _drive_. The one with the large 'D.'"

"I got it," Allen says, sighing. He pushes forward, once, and steps on the accelerator slightly easier this time. They ease into it, gradually making their way to the stop sign at the end of the way.

"Look, you're already better than Yu!" Lavi exclaims.

"Shut up,"

"Of course, staying in your lane means your better than Yu, but whatever."

"Shut up!"

Lavi laughs and slips a CD in the player. "I know it's like, a requirement to listen to the 80's while Yu's in the car, but I just found my old Gym Class Heroes CD."

"Fuck that," Kanda snaps. "Who listens to that shit?"

"I do, actually." Lavi smiles.

"Hey, guys, can you be quiet? I am trying not to kill us."

He isn't doing _so_ bad really. The only good thing is that he never learned how to drive in England either, so it doesn't really feel backwards. It's slightly strange, but not so foreign. It kind of reminds him of riding a bike, except, you know, instead of a bike he's operating a two ton piece of machinery and has three extra lives in his hands.

Now that he thinks about it, though, he never really did learn how to ride a bike.

"Okay, you need to change lanes. Just get over one – holy shit, Allen, not while another car is there! Okay, let him pass you. There, okay, blinker. Good!" Lavi claps. Damn patronizing bastard.

"Stop treating me like a child." Allen grumbles, getting over.

"Why? You look like one." Kanda mutters.

"You're the one sleeping with him," Lavi laughs. "Doesn't that make you a pedophile?"

"We aren't sleeping together!" Allen exclaims, blushing, jerking on the wheel just enough to where they're riding on the white line separating them from a ditch. He quickly puts them back in the middle of the lane and keeps his eyes on the road in front of him. "And I'm seventeen. He isn't a pedophile. How many times must we go over this in a six month radius?"

"You aren't sleeping together?" Lavi asks, genuinely curious.

"Of course not! Well, we've slept in the same bed, but we aren't…" He can't bring himself to finish the sentence. Jesus, his face feels like it's on fire.

"Must mean he really likes you."

"Shut up, stupid," Kanda grumbles, probably to the both of them.

"Just let Allen drive, please," Lenalee sighs from the backseat. "If you make him any more anxious he's going to run us into the ditch."

"Fine, fine. Allen, relax your death grip on the wheel. Your knuckles are turning white. Well, whit_er_." Lavi pats his hand and they hear something like a growl from the backseat. "Protective, Yu?"

Kanda doesn't reply to him, which leaves Allen to light pop/rap music and the sounds of the road – the wind hitting the windshield and the crunch of gravel.

* * *

><p>When they arrive at the IHOP, they file from the car and Lavi slaps him on the back. "See that wasn't so bad, was it?"<p>

"Um, no," Allen replies sheepishly, scratching his hand. "I mean, we got here alive, so that's good."

"Barely," Kanda rolls his eyes.

"Listen, I was going to hit that cat!"

"The cat was already dead, Beansprout!"

"It's still not respectful!"

"It was a fucking _cat_!"

Allen pouts a bit and shoves past them to walk inside. "Way to be sensitive, Yu. You're a great boyfriend." Lavi says, walking in behind him.

"He's not my boyfriend," Allen grinds out. Kanda raises an eyebrow at him, and the rest of them all look at him expectantly. "I mean..." He scrunches his eyebrows together. "I don't know what we are, can we just get a table and eat?"

The waitress sits them in a booth, and Kanda and Allen end up across from each other. Lavi sits next to him, and Lenalee is next to Kanda. She hands them their menus, takes their drink orders, and walks away.

"So he's not your boyfriend, huh? Just fuck buddy?" Lavi smirks.

"We aren't having sex!" He exclaims, a bit too loudly for his taste. He slouches in his seat a little bit.

"So then, make-out buddy, I don't know."

"Ask him; he never wants to talk anyway, so how am I supposed to know?" Allen crosses his arms and stares down at the menu. Oh, those crepes look delectable.

"Well? Yu?" Kanda sets up his menu like a barrier, separating himself from the other side of the table. "Don't be so defensive. I'm just curious about my two best friends in the whole wide world."

"Let him label it if he wants," comes Kanda's dark growl. "I don't give a shit."

"Oh that's nice. Yes, let's get into this conversation _here_." Allen remarks, sitting up a bit in his seat. "It isn't about labels, you damn hipster. It's about us."

They've had (or, at least, Allen's tried to have) this conversation a couple of times, but every time he brings it up Kanda just ends up distracting him.

Kanda slams the menu on the table. As it's plastic, it makes a loud slapping noise, and Allen flinches. "Us?"

"Us."

"Fine. I'm your fucking _boyfriend_. Are you happy now?"

"Do I look happy?"

"You two are like an old married couple," Lavi smirks, resting his head in his palm. "Don't feel bad though. All his other boyfriends-but-not-boyfriends got worse treatment. At least he's going this far."

"…Boyfriends-but-not-boyfriends?"

"Well, they were kind of like fuck buddies without the whole 'buddy' part."

"_Will you shut up_?" Lenalee and Kanda growl at the same time. It's surprising to hear Lenalee like that, but, well, maybe she could she could see the expression on his face. Something like disappointment and hurt and perhaps insecurity.

Because, well, Kanda is twenty-one, it'd only make sense that he'd been with other people before. It's just that Allen is only slightly sentimental and definitely a huge virgin. He bites the inside of his cheek and Lavi says, "Sorry."

"You really don't think, do you?" Lenalee stresses from across the table. "He's only seventeen." She gives him a sympathetic look.

Allen can't bring himself to look at Kanda until he feels something warm press against his leg. He looks up and sees Kanda looking at the menu in a bored, detached manner. There's definitely a leg pressed against his in a comforting fashion, though, and it is Kanda.

Pursing his lips, not knowing exactly how to feel, he glances back down at his menu. Suddenly, a three and a half year distance seems so large, like Kanda has so much more life experience than him. He's only a Senior in high school now, and Kanda's a Senior in college. Kanda isn't a virgin. Kanda's about to graduate into the work force and get an actual job. Kanda is an _adult_.

The waitress returns and they order, Allen more food than usual to make up for the uncertainty that's crept into his heart. He leans back in his seat afterwards and gazes at Kanda across from him, the way his bangs sweep across his cheeks, the way his cold, calculating eyes survey the table in front of him, the soft line of his lips. _I never noticed how far away you seem sometimes_.

"Allen," Lavi starts. "Where do you want to go after this?" He's obviously trying to start conversation again. And, well, Allen kind of accepts that because he needs to have a conversation to keep his mind from the inevitable thoughts.

"I dunno," He replies, taking a sip of his water. He watches Kanda take a sip of his hot tea. "But um, now that I think about it, wasn't it illegal? Me driving here? If we'd gotten stopped we all would have went to jail."

"Nah, it's cool," Lavi smirks. "Anyway, we're getting you your license soon, so there won't be any worrying about that."

"License?" Allen scrunches his nose. "Why? I don't have a car."

"What if something happens and I'm, like, dying?" Lavi asks, drinking his coke. "Like, I was just innocently coloring a picture with sharpies and you need to get me to the hospital and _fast_."

"What part of your brain comes up with all this shit?" Kanda asks, sneering.

Allen laughs and nods, "Oh it's a valid fear. Well, for Lavi. Not for normal people."

"I take offense to that." Lavi grumbles playfully.

"You take offense to that? Lavi, you breathe offense." Allen laughs.

"He only takes offense in regards to his normalcy. Which he doesn't have, really, but he likes to think he's normal." Lenalee smiles.

"You guys are just mean! I'm totally normal!"

"No, you aren't," they chorus blandly.

"Really, Lavi, I think you have a condition." Allen rests his hand on Lavi's shoulder.

"It's called idiocy," Kanda says, smirking into his tea.

"We only say this because we care," Lenalee nods.

And then he realizes, _Duh, these are my friends and I love them_. And it's just – all he can feel is that intense love for these people around him and he wants nothing more than to just stay at their sides forever. Obviously forever is a long time, but he can deal with that. He's never felt like this before, and he feels that he would give up his life just for their happiness.

Okay, he's getting a little weird now.

When they're finished eating, they all pile up into Lavi's car and after tough deliberation, Lavi gets in the driver's seat. Because if they get pulled over, Allen refuses to be behind that wheel. There's also the fact that Lavi tends to make embarrassing comments to get reactions out of him and he jerks a lot.

Also, road kill makes him sad.

* * *

><p>They end up at this bookstore Allen's never heard of. It's all used and antiqued books, something Lavi seems to have an affinity for. It smells good, Allen realizes, and he soon falls in love with the small shop. It isn't hard – Lenalee and Kanda seem to enjoy the place too.<p>

"Allen, you're a virgin, right?" Lavi asks, sifting through a shelf of biographies.

Allen blushes and stutters, "I-I-I-I mean, um." He stares hard at a book about Abraham Lincoln. "Yes…"

Lavi laughs, "No need to be ashamed! You're seventeen, barely legal. I was just surprised Yu hadn't jumped that-"

There is a sharp growl from somewhere else in the store.

"Listen," Lavi lowers his tone to a whisper. "I just want to apologize for earlier. I mean, I'm sure Yu would have told you in his own time. And with you being a virgin – well, I imagine you're upset. I really am surprised, though. It's strange for Yu."

Allen doesn't respond to that, just flips through an old book on Edgar Allen Poe. He doesn't actually read the words on the page, just glances at the pictures. There are black illustrations on the pages, pretty and clean.

"How many…"

"What's his number, you mean? Well, I'd guess three, but you'd have to ask him. I've only known of three. Who's to say how many secret fucks he's had?" He pauses. "Oh crap I've done it again. I'm sorry, Allen."

Allen closes the book and sets it back in its place. "It's okay. I shouldn't have been so naïve to think – well, never mind."

Lavi smiles at him. "Follow me."

"What? Why? Where are we going?" Lavi grabs him by the wrist and drags him through the stacks of books, towards the back. "This is sketchy, Lavi. I'm scared."

"Don't be scared," Lavi smiles, setting a book down in his hands. "You should read that."

He looks down at the book in his hands, blushes. "It – no, wait, I'm not surprised." Allen gingerly places the romance novel – the very gay, erotic romance novel – back on the shelf where Lavi got it from.

"Come on. You're a virgin, and I bet you've never been in a relationship, let alone a gay one."

Allen flushes. "I…"

"Yu was even your first kiss, huh?"

"Can we not talk about this?"

"That is so cute," Lavi sighs happily. "Did you know that you are the most precious thing on the Earth?"

"Did you know that you are literally the last person on this earth who I'd want to call me that?"

Lenalee and Kanda show up then, and Lavi immediately hides behind Allen. "What the fuck?" Kanda asks, looking around.

"I think Lavi was tainting Allen's mind." Lenalee offers.

Well, he was trying.

"I just want our little Allen to be prepared when Yu jumps him."

Allen drops his face in hands. "I am going to actually cry if you open your mouth one more time," Allen whines. "Then I'll commission Kanda to run you through with Mugen."

"Commission him with sex. And you won't even be prepared."

"That's it!" Kanda yells. "You're dead, you red-headed asshole." He tackles Lavi to the ground and they start some kind of grappling match, where Kanda is just trying to lay a hit on Lavi and Lavi's just trying not to get hit. "Why can't you just keep your goddamned mouth shut?"

"Come on, Kanda. He's always been like this. Calm down."

"Yeah, Yu, calm down," Lavi huffs out, laughing, dodging a narrow hit to his left eye. Kanda lets out a howl of rage and punches him in the stomach.

"Kanda!" Allen exclaims. "Don't actually hurt him!"

"Shut up, Beansprout."

"Fine, Yu, if that's how you want to play." Lavi throws his arm up, and it connects with Kanda's left cheek. "I can fight too, ya know."

"Guys!" Lenalee yells. "Stop it right now!"

They both pause, huffing, and Kanda crawls off of Lavi. His cheek is already bruising, and Allen frowns at them.

"They do this sometimes," Lenalee explains. "It's okay."

"Come on, Al, your frown mars your pretty face," Lavi tells him, and Kanda punches him in the arm. "Ouch," He whispers, rubbing his new wound. "That's gonna bruise."

Kanda lets out an indignant noise; takes once more glance at the books around them, flushes, and walks away.

"His cheek is going to bruise as well," Allen says. "You both deserve it for being idiots."

"That's not fair," Lavi replies. "It's just that Kanda's buttons are so fun to push!"

Allen rolls his eyes. "Uh-huh. Come on."

They leave without further incident.

* * *

><p>When Allen shows up at Kanda's house the next day, he's feeling a bit insecure. Mainly because they've been together for about two weeks and, well, they still haven't discussed feelings. Which, really, he imagines Kanda is just awkward about, but there are so many things they haven't discussed.<p>

And okay, it's mostly because Kanda has had sex and he hasn't and what if, like, they have sex and he's horrible at it? Then: what if Kanda just doesn't _want_ to have sex with him? Is there something wrong with him? Ugh, he just can't stop thinking about it.

Kanda doesn't really invite him in or anything anymore, just opens the door and when he sees its Allen walks back to whatever he was doing previously. He wonders if it's out of familiarity or just not giving a shit. With Kanda, it's probably a bit of both.

He walks inside, follows Kanda to the living room, plops down on the couch next to him.

"Hey," he starts.

Kanda looks at him as if he's crazy. "…Hey…"

He looks at the television – the military channel? "How is your cheek feeling?"

"Whatever."

Allen sighs. That isn't really an answer. "I was wondering…if you wanted to talk."

"Fuck no."

"Of course not," Allen grumbles. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want to."

Allen's eyebrows furrow. "That isn't good enough, Kanda. We never talk! Not seriously!" Kanda looks to the side, away from Allen. "Are you afraid to talk about it?"

"Afraid?" Kanda coughs out a 'laugh.' "Yeah, I'm afraid of a conversation."

"No, I mean, are you afraid of what it would mean, the conversation? La-Lavi told me that…you know, you've been with lots of other people and-"

"I've never been in a relationship before," Kanda interjects, eyes trained to the TV.

"I mean – you know, had _sex_ with lots of other people." Allen tries his best not to make it awkward. He's failing.

"That idiot…" Kanda growls. "He didn't leave it be after the fucking breakfast?"

"He's Lavi. Of course not." Kanda nods in agreement. "Um…you know…I was wondering. Um – how many, you know, people have you slept with?"

Kanda is blushing, badly. "Is that important?"

"To me."

He sighs. "Six."

"_Six_?"

"They didn't mean anything."

"Of course not," Allen says, eyebrows furrowed, face hot, heart hurting.

With a harsh scoff, Kanda turns off the TV, tosses the remote on the other couch, and turns to Allen. "It's different in college." He pauses. "I tend to forget how young you are. Not because of how mature you are, either." He rolls his eyes. "I also tend to forget how much of an idiot you are, to listen to Lavi."

"Well, he wasn't lying."

"He let it get to you."

"It's not important."

"It is to you, apparently."

They're silent for a little bit. Allen doesn't really feel any more assured. Less, actually. Six people? That's, like…a lot.

"Why haven't we had sex?"

Kanda starts choking, gasps for breath. Allen doesn't move to help him, just watches as he regains his composure. "What the fuck?"

"Why haven't we-"

"I heard what you said," Kanda stresses. "That's not what I meant. Do you even…ugh, you are such a fucking moron."

"Well, hey. I don't feel awesome right now. You had sex with all these other people and, you know, I hadn't even really _kissed_ anybody before you. What if I'm _horrible_ at it?"

"It's hard to be bad at it." Kanda stills a bit at what he said, then adds, "You're only seventeen anyway, Beansprout."

"Why does everyone keep _saying_ that? How old were you your first time?"

"…Sixteen," Kanda growls out after a moment.

"See?"

"It's different." Kanda motions at him wildly. He wonders if he's supposed to understand what he means. "You're…wholesome."

Allen laughs at him at that. "What is with you? You're being so different today."

Kanda is silent for a moment. "So you're honestly going to tell me you're ready to fuck? I doubt it."

"You are so offensive!" Allen exclaims. "You aren't so different after all…"

"It got the point across."

"By the way, you don't know _what_ I'm ready for."

Kanda scoffs at him, obviously uncomfortable, and looks away again. "But you aren't, right?" he tries his best to sound harsh, that much is obvious, but it comes out slightly weak.

"I…" Allen starts. He really – he doesn't know what to think. Because, well, on one hand, he's seventeen and sex is kinda on his mind as much as Lavi talks about it, but on the other, well, he's seventeen and _scared_. It's probably foolish and stupid, but he is.

Kanda turns back towards him then, blinks. "See?"

Allen lets out a shaky breath. His chest hurts. "What if I said I was?"

Kanda's eyebrows furrow. "What do you mean?"

"Would you have sex with me right now, right here if I said I was ready?"

"I…" Kanda seems lost for words. "What the fuck kind of question is that?"

"Do you want to be with me, Kanda?"

Kanda lets out a harsh breath, then he runs his hands down his face. "You're such an idiot."

"Do I have to spell it out for you, Kanda? I'm feeling really insecure right now about all of this, and I just want to know if you want me or not." He pauses, swallows. "This is all pointless if you don't."

"I'm not going to lie and say _no_. But why does sex have to be a part of the equation?" Kanda growls out, staring at the wall behind Allen, the ceiling, his hands, just not Allen's face. "Especially two weeks in." He pauses, finally letting his eyes meet Allen's.

"So…" Allen starts. "You want to have sex with me, but…you want to wait?" He lets that settle, then laughs. "Wow, Kanda. Really? Is it love?" Kanda scoffs at Allen and Allen smiles at him softly, presses his hands to either side of Kanda's face, careful of the bruise, and brings him in for a soft kiss. "I…guess I agree. Kind of." He continues kissing Kanda. "Um, but like," he starts as he leans back. "Six? How have that many people been able to tolerate you?"

"We didn't talk a lot," Kanda offers, jaw tight.

Allen laughs, a bit nervous and says, "Maybe that's why _we_ never talk. You just aren't used to it."

Kanda gives him a dry laugh, one that says he doesn't find Allen's comment at all funny, and kisses him. "I like the silence better," he mutters against Allen's mouth.

"I understand," Allen smiles.

* * *

><p>"Alright, we're only number 323!" Lavi exclaims, pulling the ticket from the counter and bounds to sit in a chair in the middle of the room. "The DMV is running light today."<p>

He wouldn't exactly use the word _light_. There are a shitload of people there, sitting, standing, talking. He sits next to Lavi, and Kanda sits next to him huffily.

"Why am I here?" Kanda asks, leaning against the arm rest.

"To support your hubby."

"Hubby, Lavi? Really? Seriously, you'd think getting punched in the stomach would teach you," Allen sighs. Maybe Kanda could punch him again?

"Hey," Lavi whines, pouting. "It isn't sexual."

"And we are very proud of you for that," Lenalee nods, patting him on the shoulder.

"It is a step up," Allen concedes. "So perhaps we'll let it slide."

Lavi looks like he just met the muffin man. "Oh my god you guys, I _love_ you. Seriously, like, I love you so much I want to fu…have fun with you guys."

"We love you too, Lavi," Lenalee sighs, rolling her eyes.

"We should totally go to Walgreens after this and stock up on coloring books and orange juice."

"I seriously worry for your sanity," Kanda spits out, opening the book he brought with him.

"Aw, Yu! You do care!"

"What are you reading?" Allen asks, ignoring Lavi and leaning over a bit.

"Why must you be so fucking nosy?"

"Fine," Allen huffs, returning to his position in his seat. "I didn't even want to know."

There's a TV playing the news in the upper hand corner of the room. The sound is so low he can't really hear it, but the headline at the bottom of the screen doesn't seem to make much sense to him. Something about some group called NOAH?

"Nice, Al," Lavi laughs. "Oh, they just called your number! Let's go!"

Allen looks at Lavi, then back at the TV – the bit is already off and commercials are on now.

"Um. Isn't Cross supposed to be here?" Lenalee asks, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Oh…fuck."

"Did you think he would?" Allen sighs. "I told you it was pointless in coming."

"No, he told me he would be here." Lavi says, looking around.

"When did _you_ talk to him?" Allen asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh last night. On the phone."

"Why the hell all are you talking to him on the phone!"

"Allen, I do not understand why you don't like the guy, he seems perfectly okay to me. We're totally friends now."

"What did you bond over your extreme love of vagina?" Allen sneers, then quickly covers his mouth and blushes. "I did not…you didn't hear that. No really. I didn't…"

Lavi busts out laughing. "Hey look, you held out longer than most do. You've hung around me for six months and are only showing signs of corruption _now_."

Really, it probably has more to do with the fact that he's been around Cross for about seven years, but still…

"I really…" He mutters, looking Kanda. The man just looks amused. "It's not funny!"

"Of course not," Kanda says, looking away.

"I am mortified," Allen whispers.

"Kid, for the first time in my life, you've made me proud."

It's Cross, and really, how in the hell did Lavi get him here? They are really, really similar (unfortunately. How does he manage to get close to the most horrible people?) so it makes sense that they'd be, ugh _friends_, but even Lavi isn't charismatic enough for this shit. Well, he thinks so. If there is a Lavi with more character than the one he sees every day, well, keep it the hell away from him.

"You need me to sign some shit?" Cross asks, crossing his arms.

"Um. Yes." Allen nods. He and Cross walk up to the lady who called their number and she smiles at them.

"Hello."

"Hello, I nee-"

"_Enchanté_, young miss. My godchild here is in desperate need of a driver's license." He leans forward a bit and looks her deep in the eyes. "Do you think you could help us?"

Does he really need to do that _here_? Really?

She smiles at him, not put-off in the slightest. How in the hell does he do it? "Of course. I just need him to sign some things, take a test on his vision and then wait for an instructor to take him out."

"_Merci_, _Madame_."

And the simple French makes him sound so cultured, yes. Allen rolls his eyes. What an ass.

They get to work on the papers and Allen takes his eyesight test, then walks back to his friends. "Allen, aren't you hot in that?" Lenalee asks, pointing to his long-sleeve shirt.

"Um, yes," he laughs. "Very."

"Why don't you take it off?"

"You know, Lenalee, that is a great idea!" Lavi puts an arm around her shoulders.

"That isn't what I mean, Lavi," She mutters, blushing.

"You guys," Allen sighs, shaking his head. "I obviously can't. My arm."

"Ah, who the fuck cares?"

"The general populace. Listen, it's not that big of a deal."

"You're gonna end up dying from heat stroke," Lavi tells him, shrugging. "And that will be a sad, sad day. How am I supposed to get my Allen fix without Allen?"

"Do not refer to me as a 'fix' please."

"Anyway, kid. I've gotten what I came for," Cross says, walking up to them. Where had he been? "Be home in time to cook dinner."

"Sure," Allen nods.

"And don't be out so late at your fag's house this time."

"_Godfather_!"

"What?"

"Totally inappropriate, and offensive and-"

"Ah, if Yu got offended by something like that, he wouldn't be Yu," Lavi laughs.

"It offends me," Allen says, bristled. But Kanda, well, he doesn't look offended. Allen wonders if anything would get under the Japanese man's skin.

"Allen Walker?" He hears his name and perks up, looks for the source of the noise.

It's a plump woman, all smiles and happy faces. Of course fake. Who would be legitimately happy at work? That is, unless you love what you do. Does she enjoy spending all her time in closed off vehicles with teenagers?

Oh dear lord he hopes not.

Lavi gives him a sharp slap on the back and he stumbles forward, watches Cross walk from the room with a slip of paper in his hand before walking up to the lady.

"Hello, Mister Walker," She smiles.

"Allen," he responds automatically. Well, it makes for less awkward conversation.

"Allen," She nods. "The vehicle is this way. It's the white sedan," she tells him as they walk outside. They climb into the car and as he's buckling his seat belt she asks, "Are you from Great Britain?"

"Yes," he nods. As if it weren't obvious from the accent. Ah, well, sometimes people will get them mixed up with Australian accents, even if they sound nothing alike to him.

"My mother is from there," she tells him, buckling as well. "I lived there for a while during my teenage years."

"Oh?" He asks, looking over at her. "Where at?"

"Manchester. I didn't live there long enough or when I was young enough to pick up the accent though. When did you move here?"

He starts the vehicle, careful not to make the engine stall this time. It happened once in Lavi's car. He almost cried. "Um, January," he tells her, nodding.

"Have you adjusted to life here yet? It's very different."

"Well, it certainly a bit different," he smiles, backing out of the spot and pulling forward to the stop sign. "But it's not so bad."

"Take a right here, go down to St. Charles and to a right there, as well." She writes something on her clipboard. "I agree. Where are you from inside Great Britain?"

"London," he tells her.

"Ah, so we're both from England! Though I should have been able to tell by your accent that you certainly aren't Irish," she laughs.

He laughs a bit as well. "I did live in Ireland for a little while," he tells her. "I used to move around a lot."

"That sounds fun," she replies. "What kind of places did you visit?"

Eyes still on the road, music so low it's barely heard, Allen smiles. "Oh a bunch. I've been all over Europe, to places like Germany and Portugal and Greece. And Africa, India, China."

"Wow, and you're only seventeen?"

"Well, I traveled around Europe mostly with my foster father when I was very young. He worked in carnivals, so we were never really in one place for too long. I didn't leave the continent until my godfather, though. We were constantly running around." He puts on his blinker, looks in his rearview before turning. It's actually going pretty well. Like, really well. Where is all this luck coming from? Is it maybe because he's had such shit luck in the past and now Karma is making up for it?

"That's very interesting," she smiles. "Were those your friends you were standing by?"

"Oh, yes, unfortunately," he laughs.

"Take a right here."

It seems as though they're just making a big loop back around to the DMV.

"That's nice. They seem like lovely people."

He thinks of Lavi's mouth and Kanda's attitude and Lenalee's nosiness.

"Yes, they are," he tells her. Well, even if they can be annoying as all hell, he does love them to death. So, well, yes, they are.

When they arrive back at the DMV, Lavi is crouched by the door, waiting for him. When Allen walks in, he throws himself on the smaller boy, almost crushing him with his 6'1 stature. He's taller than Kanda. And Kanda is like a giant compared to Allen.

Why must he be so short?

The woman greets his friends, and surprisingly, they aren't horrible. It's almost like they aren't out to ruin his life.

Then the lady is congratulating him and telling him he passed and he's actually so, so happy because he kind of thought that he might end up running over a puppy on accident or something. He seriously might have lost all will to live if he did that, though.

When the woman brings him over to the side to take his picture, he straightens his collar and looks at the camera, smiling.

"Allen!" He hears Lavi call. He doesn't look over there. He can't, the picture is about to snap. "Dude, Yu is totally freaking out!"

He looks over there quickly, to see what's wrong with Kanda, but – the Japanese man is just standing there.

The picture snaps.

"Got'cha."

* * *

><p>He stares down at his ID, then up at the woman. "Can I retake this?" he pleads.<p>

The woman actually looks a bit sad for him. "Unless you want to pay for another ID, no."

He looks at his picture. It's not…so bad. It's just – only three-fourths of his face is showing and his eyes are big and mouth open as he's about to ask what wrong and oh god it's horrible.

"Lavi. Why? _Why_? Why do you have to be…so yourself?"

"Sorry, Al. It's just that you were look all sultry and shit up there and no one is supposed to have a good picture for their first driver's license."

"That's your reason?" Allen asks, sliding his hands down his face. "Kanda, please slap him, or punch him, or just, _anything_."

Kanda replies by punching the man in the arm, _hard_.

"I see who the bitch is," Lavi winces.

Kanda hits him again.

* * *

><p><strong>Hello, my dears. I have to say, I have been so busy that I ALMOST forgot to update. Almost. But not quite. Because I love you guys. Er, and here's the deal - I haven't really been responding to reviews because: 1.) I've been so busy I really don't have TIME, and 2.) Because I kind of feel like I'm being annoying. I mean, if you guys WANT to talk to me, you can say so in the review or PM me, but otherwise, I'll only reply to reviews if there are questions or things that need to be discussed. For instance:<strong>

**inawe kindly reviewed and talked about if it would be illegal for Kanda and Allen to be together due to their ages. In Louisiana, the legal age for consensual sex is seventeen. So, if both parties involved are at least seventeen, it's totally legal. See what I did thar? **

**Then, OMGILoveToOmNomNoms asked when Yullen Weeks was starting, which apparently a few others were confused about as well. Yullen Weeks starts December 18th and runs until the 25th - Allen's birthday. If you want, go check out the livejournal for it and check out the themes! More submissions would be awesome, because that just means more Yullen to go around! And that's ALWAYS a good thing.**

**I am really glad that so many people love this. It makes me all colon-capital 'D'. (Big Bang Theory reference anyone?) And again, if anyone would like to talk with me, that's totally cool! Just send me a PM and I will get back to you as soon as possible, most likely within the day. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Um. The moment you've all been waiting for. The reason this entire fic is M. And er, note at the end :)  
><strong>

**Enjoy.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

He slides down Kanda's body, chest heavy with nervousness, his fingertips brushing gently along the older man's sides until he stops. Hands resting on clothed hips, Allen, well, _tries_ to be sexy by getting off Kanda's belt with his teeth, but Kanda really just doesn't care about being sexy. Allen thinks he just wants his belt off and now.

"I'm glad we decided to wait. You know, a week," Allen mumbles against Kanda's stomach playfully. Really, if anything, he'd been the eager one.

"This isn't sex," Kanda manages out.

Allen kisses Kanda's abs, realizes he's shaking a bit, and smirks, "That all depends on your definition of sex."

Deciding to use his hands, Allen pulls up, kisses Kanda on the mouth as he undoes his belt, and throws it on the floor. He angles his head and licks a line under Kanda's jaw, blows on it.

"Why are you moving so slowly?" Kanda growls, shivering. "Just take the fucking pants off!"

"Okay, _Jesus_." Allen returns, detaching his mouth from its place on Kanda's neck. He tugs off Kanda's jeans.

"Don't rip them apart!"

"What the hell do you want from me?" Allen barks, almost completely abandoning his mission. Almost. His fingers are still hooked around the edge of Kanda's underwear. "You're like a freaking girl. Don't be so indecisive."

"I'm like a girl! You're the one about to go dow-"

Allen kisses him, because hearing him say that out loud would just – _ruin_ him. Seriously, his very essence as a man – well, kind of man – would be crushed. "I just don't want to do it wrong. I've never, you know, _done_ this."

"As long as there's no teeth, whatever." The black haired man says and Allen has been trying to stay cool about this but he just can't. He blushes ferociously and looks up at the ceiling. Then he inhales when Kanda says, "Well? Are we going to stand here or are you going to do something?"

"Christ! Give me a minute will you? I am new to this if you didn't hear me the first eighty times." And he's like, super nervous. Really. Half because he doesn't want to be horrible at it and half because, well, he's a big fat virgin and he's gets nervous a lot.

Kanda sighs, sits down on the bed and pulls his pants off completely, just lounges there in his underwear until Allen nods and takes a breath. Kanda motions to him and as he's about to kneel down, the Japanese man pulls him up into a kiss. Blushing, he says, "Just – do what you want."

It's an awkward statement, but Allen understands the sentiment. He smiles, pushes his hand unto Kanda's underwear and –

Hears a tapping on the window.

"That had better be a fucking branch," Kanda says, looking around Allen and angling himself to see out the window. Allen decides it's best if he just stays stark still and doesn't do anything considering there _are_ no trees in Kanda's backyard. Then Kanda pushes him to the side and storms over to the window, opens it.

Oh dear God. Oh dear _God_.

"What the fuck! Are you on a fucking _ladder_?" Kanda yells.

"I was just curious," Lavi returns, looking demure. Yeah. He isn't.

Then Kanda puts his hands on both of the rungs and pushes. It disappears from the window and after a moment, there's a loud splash.

"Did you just push Lavi from your second story window?"

"Yes."

"You are amazing."

* * *

><p>They ended up not doing anything because, well, the mood was kind of ruined after that. The mood was actually kind of ruined for about five or six days, where Kanda was constantly pissy and wouldn't even look at Lavi. And Allen understands completely, because he was pissed as well. Well, is pissed, even a good week later. But at least he can tolerate Lavi's presence. And at least the red-head isn't so stupid as to bring it up or tease them. Kanda probably <em>would<em> kill him. He's really lucky that he fell in the pool in the backyard. They aren't though, really.

It isn't really that he doesn't love Lavi, because he totally does, but he just doesn't like him a lot most of the time. The red-head's just vulgar and apparently voyeuristic. Jesus, just thinking about it gets him all flustered and embarrassed and angry. What a vulnerable moment to encroach upon.

So when he sees Lavi the week before July starts, he really doesn't want to talk with him. It's not totally unfair, because Lavi deserves to be pushed from a fourth floor window with no water to break his fall.

Lavi scratches the back of his head. He's with Lenalee, standing in front of Allen's house. Allen's about to shut the door when Lavi goes, "Wait! Just…I want to, you know, apologize. About…you know. I really didn't think you would actually be doing something, I just wanted to aggravate Kanda by being in his room."

Allen sighs, steps to the side to let them in.

"I'm really sorry, Al," he says, smiling slightly. There's an envelope in his hand. "If you'd call Yu over here, I have something I want to give you. To make up for it."

What could possibly be…oh whatever.

He takes his cell phone from his pocket, goes to recent calls, hits Kanda's name.

"_What is it, Beansprout?"_ Kanda asks when he answers.

"Could you come to my house real quick?"

"_Why_?" He asks, wary.

"Lavi says he wants to make up for last week. I have no idea what-"

"_Fuck that_."

"You can't be angry forever."

"_Watch me."_

"Kanda. Get over here, please."

Kanda growls something that Allen can't hear, he's probably dragged the phone from his ear to let out a string of curses, and then he says, "_I'll be over in ten_."

"Thank you," Allen nods, and the line goes dead. "That better be an awesome goddamned present."

When Kanda arrives, he completely ignores Lavi, walks past straight them to go sit in the living room.

"Are you thirsty?" Allen asks when he sits down in his familiar spot on the couch.

"Whatever," Kanda says and Allen sighs, turns to Lenalee.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Yes, please," she nods.

He doesn't even ask Lavi before walking into the kitchen. By now, he understands that when it's hot outside, all Kanda really wants is a glass of water and ice and Lenalee likes iced tea. Lavi likes coke, but screw Lavi.

He walks back into the living room, hands the drinks to Lenalee and Kanda then sits down next to his boyfriend on the couch. It feels weird to call him that in his mind, but – it's kind of true? They aren't exactly lovers, but well – whatever.

Lavi is sitting on the seat beneath the bay window, clutching the envelope, smiling slightly. He stands then, hands it to Allen.

"I understand that I interrupted an important moment," he tells them, probably serious for the first time in his life. He's still smiling though, because that's Lavi default. Smiling. He could be told he has cancer and probably smile. It's hard to hate him sometimes.

Blinking, Allen looks at Kanda. The man is trying his best not to look curious, but it's obvious he is. Gingerly, he rips open the envelope, scrunches his eyebrows in confusion at the brochure in his hands.

"Lenalee and I thought it'd be nice," Lavi shrugs. "There's a resort in Biloxi right on the beach, and we got you a weekend there. It's the first. You know, your anniversary."

Allen can't hate him even a little bit anymore. "How did you afford this?"

"I know people," Lavi grins, eye crinkling.

"Thank you," Allen laughs, standing to give the red-head a hug. "This is – well it's amazing." He looks at Kanda expectantly.

"You expect me to thank him?" Kanda snorts.

"Yes, actually. This is a fantastic gift, Kanda."

"Thank you very fucking much, Eyepatch." Kanda rolls his eyes, sarcasm evident.

"Aww, Yu. Thanks, buddy," Lavi smirks. Well, it's obvious Kanda doesn't mean it, but at least he said it. "Oh, I'm so excited," he says.

"You're excited _for_ us, right?" Allen hopes, hopes, sincerely and desperately hopes Lavi says yes to that.

"Well, yeah!" he exclaims and Allen lets out a puff of breath. "But I'm also excited for myself and Lenalee! We're coming too! Different rooms of course, but how can we miss out? Reever's gonna drive up later, since he has work Friday until five and then Miranda's home tomorrow, so we're gonna get a room and it's gonna be awesome!"

Oh yeah, his intentions are so pure.

Wait.

"You're coming with us?" Allen asks weakly. There goes the weekend.

* * *

><p>The thing about driving an hour and a half to Biloxi is that it's Lavi in the passenger seat and him driving, mainly to get experience, and he really just wants to run off the road and end it all. He'd do that, but Cross would kill him since they're using his car. Which brings a mind to question:<p>

"Lavi, how do you do all this crap? Getting Cross to act like a normal guardian?"

"I bribe him with easy chicks," Lavi smiles, looking out the window. Miranda is sandwiched in the backseat between Kanda and Lenalee and she just looks kind of uncomfortable. They all do, actually.

"Everything makes sense now," Allen sighs. "If there's anything that could get Cross to do something, it'd be women."

Lavi nods, then asks, "Oh hey, are you guys hungry?"

Duh. Allen is always hungry.

"Stupid question," Lavi laughs. "Well, since it's Allen and Kanda's weekend, why don't you guys pick?"

"I don't care," Kanda mumbles, eyes trained on the book in his hands.

"Well," Allen frowns. "I'm really in the mood for pizza. But there are no drive through pizza places."

"There's Little Caesar's," Lenalee offers. "They have the pizza already prepared. It's not the best you'll ever taste, but it's fast and fairly cheap."

"Oh _yeah_, their slogan is 'Hot and Ready.' It's just like my body." The red-head offers, nodding.

"I can live so much easier knowing that," Allen rolls his eyes as Kanda slaps Lavi on the side of the head.

* * *

><p>When they arrive at the resort, which is apparently called Beau Rivage, Lavi's the one to go up to desk. He gives the receptionist his information, and when he's all done, returns with a few, small envelopes.<p>

"Here," He says, handing one to Allen. "There are two keys in there, one for the both of you. It also has the internet code if you brought your laptop."

Allen smiles at him, tucks the card keys in his pocket.

What the hell kind of people does Lavi know? He's literally never been in a more extravagant place in his life and from the looks of it, neither has the rest of the group. Even Lavi himself seems impressed.

"I guess it's to be expected," Lavi says as they walk through the shopping area. "I mean, two nights in the Cypress room is seven hundred dollars."

Allen lets out a sound of surprise, "_How_ much?"

"Seven hundred dollars," Lavi repeats and oh god holy shit. Seriously, the place is gorgeous, and it's to be expected what with the beach right there and the Gulf so beautiful, but really, holy shit. "That's what you guys are in," he motions to Allen and Kanda. "I think it's on," he looks at a folded up piece of paper. "The twenty-sixth floor."

"Twenty-_sixth_?" Allen asks, and Lenalee lets out a little gasp.

"That's insane, Lavi. How did you manage that?"

"The Brennan's know the owner. They hooked me up since we did such a good job with Mardi Gras. I ended getting really, really great discounts. It was funny, because they couldn't give it to me for free, so it was all ninety-nine percent off," he laughs.

"You're fucking unbelievable," Kanda says, crossing his arms. And everything about that statement in concern to Lavi is true, because he is. With all his connections and how he never seems to run out of fuel; how he can't go five minutes without turning everything sexual and how he tends to ruin their lives completely while at the same time making it joyful.

Lavi laughs a bit and nods, "I know, Yu."

When they split, it's to go drop off their luggage in their rooms. Allen can't squash the excitement in his chest; the feeling is bubbling up inside him unbridled, vicious and volatile. Lenalee gets off on the fifth floor, and is on the phone with Reever before the doors close; Miranda and Lavi get off on the eleventh floor, and then Allen and Kanda are just in the elevator by themselves, silent. Allen smiles, and grabs Kanda's hand.

He pulls away sharply and Allen frowns. "We're in the elevator," he says, but shakes his head because that's just the way Kanda is. The twenty-sixth floor seems to take forever to get to, but when they do, Allen actually runs down to their door, his rolling suitcase bumping on the ground and twisting in his hand before he just opts to hold it. He slides his key through the lock, and it clicks open.

He pushes the door open and smiles, then kind of melts, then just kind of dies right there in the doorway. It's literally the most amazing room he's ever been in; it kind of looks more like an apartment than anything.

The room is called the Cypress Suite. The living area is spacious, carpeted in caramel with white walls and cream colored furniture. There are two windows on the wall in front of them draped in what seems to be dark, heavy velvet curtains and there's a flat screen television and entertainment center that sits in front of a couch and coffee table. On the right wall is a minibar, countertop, and fridge.

There's a dining table in front of them as well, set for two, with seats that have lush, dark blue cushions that match the drapes. When Allen steps forward to look for the bedroom, he immediately sees the door to his left; so, more slowly, he walks towards it, trying to get in as much of the room as possible. Kanda follows behind him and Allen can tell just from his silence that he is awed as well.

The bedroom is large, housing a king size bed, large window that covers most of the right wall, television and entertainment center, dresser and nightstand, while the bathroom which connects through a door on the left.

Allen tosses his bag to the side and walks over to the window.

"Isn't this amazing?" he asks.

"Yeah," Kanda nods, and Allen is surprised by his agreement.

He smiles. "Look how pretty the water seems, Kanda." He presses his fingertips to the glass and looks at the beach, the dock, the people. "I can't wait to go swimming."

Kanda snorts. "You five?" he asks.

"That would make you a pedo," Allen remarks, not even bothering to tell Kanda, yet again, that he's _seventeen_. He figures the guy's always remembered, just chooses to tease Allen instead. He turns on his heel, then, and takes Kanda's bag from his hand, sets it next to his own before kissing him slowly and sensually on the lips. "I'm glad we're here."

"I can tell," Kanda smirks against his lips.

"And it's only the beginning of the weekend," Allen smiles, touches Kanda's chest lightly. "This is going to be so much fun!"

He wants to – well, he wants this weekend to be special. Even if that makes him a total girl or whatever, he doesn't care, because he wants to always remember this. Even if it's only a month in, Kanda means a lot to him. But the question he can't seem to answer is:

_Do I love him?_

He bends back a bit, gazes into Kanda's face. He – he can't tell. What is love even? What does it mean? What does it entail? Is he supposed to feel this painful tightening in his chest? Is he supposed to want to rip Kanda's head off half the time and kiss it off the other? Is he supposed to want to give all of himself to him?

Why does he want to cry with all the emotions and turbulence in his chest, all the thoughts in his head? It's just – it's so intense when they're in these moments; when the silence is overbearing and all they see is each other.

He puts it to the side, tilts his head to kiss Kanda once more before unpacking his suitcase.

* * *

><p>They're all supposed to meet at the steak restaurant downstairs for seven, dressed in their best, so at six Allen steps into the shower, washes his hair and body, ends up thinking too much as he does so. Because – well, how was he such an idiot before?<p>

There's obviously only one reason Lavi made everything up to them with this.

He's pretty much creating the situation for him and Kanda to have sex. And well, Allen isn't sure of how to feel about that. Because he wants to have sex with Kanda, but there's always that doubt inside of him. They hadn't even followed through with the – ugh – blowjob; they've never really gotten past a lot of grinding and a single hand job and – why the hell is he even thinking about this? If he's so worried, he's probably not ready and there's no way Kanda is going to pressure him into anything. He kind of felt like he might at first because to him Kanda is just a sensual and sexual being, but he hasn't even really brought it up.

When he climbs out of the shower, he dries off and dresses in a black button up shirt and jeans. He brought a tie for tomorrow night's dinner, even though he doesn't know exactly where it is, but he doesn't think he'll need it for tonight.

When Kanda walks from the bathroom around six forty-five, Allen forgets to breathe. Because Allen has never seen him more beautiful; hair down and framing his face, smirk on his lips, black slacks riding low on his hips with a deep red button up tucked in.

Allen has this inferiority complex when it comes to Kanda, so he ends up just standing where he is and being awkward until Kanda gives him a raised eyebrow and asks, "You ready?"

Allen shakes himself out of his reverie and nods, says, "Yeah, I am." He grabs his wallet and sticks it in his back pocket before taking Kanda's hand and says, "I'll just hold your hand until the door?"

"I don't care how long you hold my hand," Kanda says, lowly but harshly, and Allen feels this happiness in his chest that he can't compare to any other feeling. It's tight and amazing.

So he laces their fingers together and they hold hands in the elevator even, until it 'bings' open on the bottom floor. Because even Allen isn't going to hold his hand in public. It's just…frowned upon. And there's this little hole in his heart that Kanda fills when they're together that empties again when they have to act like there's nothing between them in the open.

They meet with Lavi right outside the restaurant, see him holding hands with Miranda and Allen pretty much uses every curse word possible in his head. Because well, he could hold Kanda's hand, but he's a coward and he cares too much about what others think. Reever is there with Lenalee, too, and they aren't holding hands, but it still pisses Allen off a little. And maybe he's just really more pissed at himself rather than the world, but that's not important. He pushes it all to the back of his head because he _is_ here with Kanda, and all his friends are here with him and for him.

Allen scoots in next to Kanda in the booth, smiles and orders water when the waiter asks for his drink. Kanda, surprisingly, orders alcohol; he's twenty-one now, so he can do it legally, but it's weird because he's never seen Kanda drink really. And he's always figured that Kanda would drink something manly, like scotch or beer. But he orders a red wine, leans back in his seat with his arms on the back of the seat, the fingers of his left hand dangling just about Allen's shoulder. He's strangely relaxed and comfortable, and Allen briefly wonders why. But well, it doesn't matter because he really adores this kind of Kanda, perhaps the real Kanda – the Kanda before Tiedoll passed. Still so rough and angry, but at some sort of peace. He leans to the side a little, angling his body so he's discreetly leaned against the inside of Kanda's arm. The contact pleases him.

When he eats, he eats a lot. He tends to do that when he's content, just eat and eat and eat and be happy. He eats a delicious fillet and baked potato and an order of broccoli and a little bit of Kanda's grilled chicken (well, a lot of it) and this really awesome desert Miranda got him that is just tier after tier of chocolate and awesome. Jesus, the cake tastes like sex on his tongue. Well, what he imagines sex to feel like. Oh dear lord he's turning red in front of everybody, isn't he?

But well, no one comments on it, and after wards, they all decide to go for a walk on the beach.

They aren't going to go swimming just yet, since it's pretty late and they can't see too well. They keep tripping over each other, though, falling in the sand, laughing. The sun already set, but there are still slivers of purple near the horizon, slipping into the dark navy blue of the sky. There are a few clouds as well, and there is a chunk of silver-gray moon rising. It's just – it's _so_ much fun. He's holding his shoes, letting his toes curl in the sand, even though it can get kind of painful with the shells and such at points. And he doesn't care how cliché it all is, he loves it.

When they reach another casino down the beach, they turn around. Lavi notes that it's about nine, so they all agree, rather begrudgingly, to go back to their respective rooms and meet up the next day in the morning for breakfast and the day together.

By the time Allen and Kanda are in their room again, it's a bit after ten. It's pitch black inside the room, so they flip on the lights and sit on the couch. Allen cuddles up next to Kanda, rests his head on the long haired man's shoulder. There's nothing really on the television, they soon find out, so they just lie there for a minute before Allen talks.

"We're gonna stay up until midnight, right?"

Kanda looks at him. "Sure," he shrugs.

Because at midnight it'll become the first. At midnight it'll be their anniversary.

"Kanda?"

"Hm?"

"Can we go back down to the beach?"

"At fucking ten thirty at night? I don't think so."

"For midnight. I mean, I know that's not any better, but I love the beach. And just – it's dark and pretty and I love the sound of the waves."

Kanda sighs, looks away. "Whatever," he replies. "You're an idiot if you'll think I'll stay out there all night, though."

"Can we swim?"

"The fuck is wrong with you?"

"Please? Come on, Kanda. Not all night. I just – I haven't been swimming on a beach in forever, and I've never gone in the middle of the night." _Doesn't that seem romantic_? He wants to ask, but his pride keeps him from doing so. Kanda is one of the least romantic people he's ever known, and well, he doesn't want to seem like a total bitch, even if he kind of is.

"Ugh, fine. You can swim."

"I want you to swim with me. It's no fun alone."

"I hate Gulf water. It fucks with my hair."

"Tie it up then."

Kanda is silent for a few minutes. "I – _fine_. Whatever. What the fuck else do you want to do? Need a horse-drawn carriage?"

"Don't be an arse, Kanda," Allen frowns and pushes himself from Kanda, crosses his legs and looks at him. "I'm sorry if you so desperately don't want to go swimming. We don't have to."

"No, we do, because you're going to bitch if we don't."

"That isn't true and you know it!"

"Not openly at first, but you're like a fucking girl. You're the worse passive-aggressive I've ever _seen_."

"Look, we have gone an _entire_ night without a fight. Can we not start now?" Allen sighs and leans over Kanda on the couch. "I promise I will not bitch at you, alright? It's not just _my_ day, you know. What do you want to do?"

Kanda blinks at him, probably mulls it over for a moment, then sneers and turns his head to the side. Allen is sure he sees the faint markings of a blush on his face. _Oh. _"I don't care," Kanda mutters and that's just obviously such a goddamn lie that it's kind of funny to Allen.

"I want to be with you, too," Allen says, nuzzling his nose in the crook of Kanda's neck. "_With you_, I mean." Which doesn't really clarify what he's saying, but his tone is getting the point across. "I just – I'm awkward and weird and stuff. And I get scared. But I do want to be with you, Kanda."

"I know," Kanda answers softly, nodding. And this has been such a big deal in his mind. Like, he can't stop thinking about it. And he knows once it's over with it won't be that big of a deal, but it is right now.

He gives Kanda's cheek a peck before looking at his phone.

"I'mma go get all our stuff together."

"Alright," Kanda nods.

* * *

><p>Around eleven thirty, they leave the hotel. It's black outside, so dark they can barely see where they're going. And the only reason they can see a bit of that is because of the moon. While only a quarter moon, it's bright and high in the sky, illuminates the night in a dim fashion and creates a mood. It's so beautiful, but Allen isn't paying that much mind to it.<p>

He can't even tell, really, if there are other people out here, but he doubts it. Not too many people are going to be out on the beach so late unless they have the same idea. And well, the chances of them seeing each other are slim. So he laces his fingers with Kanda, stands so close they're bumping shoulders, and chats with him about nonsense as they walk down to the water.

The water is actually kind of perfect. A bit chilly from the nighttime, but seeing as it's early June, warmed from the afternoon. When he's waist deep, Allen dives under, relishes the cooled water as it presses against his forehead. Ugh, even better, so late at night, he doesn't have to wear a shirt or anything to cover up his arm. So it's just – perfect.

Kanda really doesn't want to get his hair wet, so he's hanging back by the edge of the water, sits and lets the water brush up to his lower torso. His hair is tied up into a tight bun, bundled on top of his head, but rather than messy, it looks done on purpose. Damn Kanda and his perfection.

When he comes up for the second time, whipping his hair back on his head, he wades back to Kanda, sits on the sand with him. He wraps his arm around the older man's and pulls back so they both fall on the ground next to each other.

"Ugh, I'm gonna get sand in my hair," Kanda complains, and Allen laughs. Then Kanda leans over him and says, "Punishment," kisses him hard on the mouth. That's when Allen gasps and pulls away, runs over to where he left his towel and phone. When he hits the home button, it lights up, reads 11:53.

"Not until midnight," Allen chides, smiling. "Seven minutes."

"What the fuck? We've been kissing all day."

"So? Midnight."

"Ugh," Kanda lets out a sound of disgust and stares hard at the water.

"Seven minutes," Allen repeats, rubbing a hand on the small of Kanda's back. "Can we just be a normal couple for _seven minutes_?"

"Normal?" Kanda snorts. "Whatever normal is, it will never be us."

Allen sighs. "It won't, huh?" He wraps his arms around his knees and look up at the stars. "I guess not."

"You know," Kanda starts. "You're really a-fucking-nnoying sometimes."

"Well, sorry," Allen mutters.

"You act like you're totally okay with all of this."

"What do you mean?"

"Being _gay_," Kanda grits out. "I've been not giving a shit. I did at first though, and you just – don't."

"I do give a shit," Allen frowns, rests his head on his knees and looks at Kanda. "I-I care about you though, Kanda. Really. I do. And in times like these the feeling is so powerful I just can't – contain it. I think about it a lot, what it would be like if it was okay to care about you – well, 'okay' to the rest of the world. But I mostly just end up getting angry at myself because I'm the one who's scared. It's not illegal to hold your hand in public, I just, I'm a coward and – I'm just _not_ totally okay with all of this. It's an adjustment, but I can deal with it for you. I can deal with anything for you. Even your crappy personality."

Kanda growls, the sound low from inside his throat. But he isn't angry. Kind of…embarrassed maybe?

"Fuck the seven minutes," Kanda snarls, drawing Allen in for a kiss. "Fuck the world," he murmurs afterwards, his breath ghosting across Allen's lips. Allen exhales, wants to scream with everything Kanda is making him feel. All the anger and the affection and perfection. Wants to just be with Kanda forever; to just stay here, on this beach, in the dark, kissing him.

"Yeah," Allen nods, kissing him back. He falls on top of Kanda as he reclines backwards, rests heavily against his body as they kiss. It's slow and romantic, soft but still arousing.

"Your eyes are fucking huge," Kanda mutters as Allen looks into his face. "Silver like the moon."

Allen blushes, and says, "I'll take that as a compliment." He rests his head on Kanda's chest, breathes in his scent and how it mixes in with the scent of the Gulf and the sand and he loves all of it. Kanda's hands rest on the small of his back, but then start rubbing small circles there, move up and back down, farther until they feather against Allen's ass and he squeaks.

Kanda laughs against the hollow of his neck and cups his hand, making Allen bite his lip and lean his forehead against Kanda's shoulder.

"Not…" he starts, but stops when Kanda sits him up in his laps and kisses him, more passionately before. "Can we at least go back to the room to do this?" Making out in the sand is not high on his list of things he wants to do. It's just messy and painful and he imagines it gets everywhere.

"I wanted to stay there the whole time," Kanda says. "You taste like sea water."

"Well, I'm sorry. I wanted to swim, but someone here is a beauty queen."

"Come on," Kanda growls, moving to stand and dragging Allen with him.

They actually make it back to the room in record him and as soon as they're in the door, Kanda kisses him, presses him against it as it shuts. Allen groans a bit into the kiss with half-lidded eyes and his mind not functioning at nearly the normal rate. This is the Kanda he's always seen – the passionate and sexual Kanda, the Kanda that is just harsh and beautiful and so goddamn _hot_.

Somehow, they make it to the bedroom, and even though they're pretty much sopping wet, they jump onto the bed, touching each other as much as physically possible.

"Kanda," Allen manages out. "I…" he gasps as Kanda bites at his neck, probably leaves a mark. He feels a hot tongue run against it and his hips roll up. He is just so hyper-sensitive right now and Jesus, he wants Kanda so badly. He can't even think straight enough to realize the pounding in his chest is a bad kind of anxiety, a nervousness and fear. "I want you," he breathes. Then amends his statement. "I need you."

And he does. He needs Kanda, he feels. He's just lost without the other man. He needs him in so many ways it's fucking insane. He's never _felt_ this way before. About anyone. His feelings for Lenalee were nowhere near as intense as this – they didn't even graze the surface of this. It's totally not just about having sex, it's just, about needing him emotionally. About having this physical and emotion bond that is so strong it's scary.

Kanda's hand presses against his abdomen, pushes down to cup his erection through his swimming trunks.

"These need to get the fuck off the bed," Kanda growls. "They're all wet."

"By all means," Allen gasps, voice cracked. He lifts his hips so Kanda can pull them off and it's just so awkward to be there completely naked, but Kanda doesn't give him time to think about it.

Kanda doesn't say anything, but he thinks that Kanda is feeling the same things as him. Probably not as strongly, because he feels like no one will ever be able to care about anybody as much as he cares about Kanda, but he knows he's at least special to the Japanese man. When Kanda manages to get off his own bottoms and achieves a steady rhythm with his calloused and very awesomely feeling hand, Allen just kind of lets out a, "Fuck me."

Then realizes what he said and goes wide-eyed. Kanda above him, seems surprised as well; his hand stops moving.

"Beansprout?"

"I mean…I don't know what I just said," Allen says, mortified, raises his hands to cover his face. "I am so…"

Kanda brings his hands to Allen's face and pries his hands off gently. "It was hot," Kanda tells him. He kisses him. "You say you aren't going to be any good at this, but you're already better than you think."

"Yu," he mutters, face so hot he swears it's on fire. Kanda doesn't seem embarrassed though, just kisses Allen's cheeks, temples, forehead, lips, ears, every part of him he can reach. It's just so sweet and filled with emotions that it makes Allen sigh and close his eyes. His body relaxes, the tension in his thighs and back disappearing. He imagines Kanda just knows how to loosen him up, to make him feel comfortable. "I want to feel you," he whispers as Kanda kisses his closed eyelids. "Please."

"You aren't ready."

"I am," Allen protests, weakly. "Besides, I know you want to."

"I didn't say I didn't." Kanda moves down to his throat, runs his tongue over Allen's Adam's apple. "You aren't thinking right. Your mind is hazy."

"Please," Allen urges and Kanda lets out a growl. His mind _is_ hazy, but whatever.

"You are so stubborn!" He exclaims, apparently no longer able to keep his concentration on just kissing him.

"Yu, I just – I want you so badly. All of you. Not just in sex. All of you. Always."

Kanda lets out a strangled noise and kisses Allen harshly on the mouth, pressing so hard Allen feels his lips might bruise. Then Kanda jumps out of bed and rushes to his bag and soon returns.

Allen isn't stupid. Even through the fog of lust he realizes what that is. "You packed _lube_?" He can't seem to catch his breath right.

Kanda shrugs. "Aren't you glad I did?"

Well, he is, but still. Kanda kisses him as soon as they're close enough to do so, and Allen feels something like a slicked-up finger pushing inside of him. It's foreign and weird, and well, he tried it once and it totally didn't work out but Kanda totally knows what he's doing. Kanda is pressed against his front and Allen can _feel_ his heartbeat; it's strong and quick, like his breath. It's good to know that Kanda is just as excited/nervous as he is.

Then he winces because even if Kanda knows what he's doing, two fingers hurt. His hips twitch as the pain shoots up his spine, tingles there for a second, then subsides as he gets used to it. He's kind of hyperventilating, wrapping his arms around Kanda and holding him as close as he possibly can. Because the pain is worth it to be closer to Kanda. He whimpers at three fingers, actually whimpers like a bitch because it fucking hurts. And if this hurts – Jesus…

Kanda's fingers press up and – there it is, why people do this. Because otherwise it's just terrible and painful, but whatever Kanda just hit makes up for _all_ of it. Allen claws at his back, his hair, and tears out the tie oh Kanda's hair.

Black tendrils spill around them like a blanket, sliding over Kanda's shoulders and pooling on the sheets. Allen clutches it as Kanda does _whatever_ he did before and Allen whispers, "Again."

But he doesn't; he retracts his fingers and Allen closes his eyes because he knows what's coming next.

"Don't be scared," Kanda whispers to him, and it's probably the most gentle, love filled thing he's ever said. Or at least ever said to Allen. "I won't hurt you."

Mission failed, because as he pushes in, it does hurt. A lot worse than the fingers. He clenches his teeth, dips back his head. "Yu," he grits out. He shuts his eyes impossibly tight. When Kanda is all the way in, they pause, giving Allen a time to breathe. It takes a minute, what seems like forever, but finally he adjusts and it doesn't hurt as badly. The lube helps a lot and he wonders if it's _possible_ without it.

But it's amazing, to feel Kanda inside of him. Not just physically amazing, because well, there are tingles that shoot through his body that are, but emotionally amazing. There is this closeness he feels to Kanda.

"I love you," he breathes out and Kanda freezes. He doesn't even realize what he said at first, but there's this release in his chest. "I'm sorry," he says. "But I…I think I do. I love you." And oh. Yes. That's what he's been feeling, obviously. How is he such an idiot?

Kanda seems to contemplate something. Then he pulls back and Allen almost thinks he's going to walk away, which would _suck_, like a _lot_, but instead he pushes back inside harshly and Allen tips his head back, his entire body rocking with the force behind the thrust. He just hadn't braced himself right because he hadn't expected it.

"You're fucking tight," Kanda mutters against his collar bone. He hooks his arms around Allen's legs and brings them over his shoulder, bends down to get a better angle.

"You really…know how to ruin a moment," Allen gets out between harsh breaths. "What if I keep saying it until – _fuck_ – until you give me a proper response?" Kanda rams into him harder and even bracing himself, Allen's entire body is moving. "_I love you_," and each time he says it, it feels more right. Truer. He cries out a little bit as Kanda hits him wherever his fingers had before. "Ah!" He bites his lip so hard he tastes blood on his tongue. "I love you so much," he manages, voice hitching.

"What – Christ – what the fuck am I supposed to say to that?"

"If you have to think about it, just – whatever," Allen says, more loudly than he meant to. Not really as a yell, but really just because he can't seem to control the register of his voice. "I know you aren't good with your feelings, but Kanda, you can't – ah! – you can't just – god, I can't form a complete…sentence." Every inch of his body is on fire with pleasure, the sharp bullets running up his spine.

"Then _shut up_." Kanda growls. There is nothing but the sound of his voice and the slap of bodies moving together. "If you _have_ to talk about feelings, do it…do it the fuck _after_." Kanda is thrusting into him more haphazardly; it's quick, rushed, but each time he pushes in Allen feels another wave of pure ecstasy. He's taken Kanda's advice and has just completely forgotten about talking, just lets out moans and whimpers and sighs of pleasure as Kanda moves to jerk him off in time with his thrusts.

Kanda stills, hips pressed forward, Allen penetrated absurdly deep, and comes. The action sends Allen over the edge, and he actually lets out something like a _scream_ when he does. Jesus, how embarrassing.

Kanda collapses on top of him, chest heaving, and they lay there for a moment, trying to catch their breath; Allen feels a sharp pain in his lower back, so he doesn't make any movements, just lies there until Kanda pulls out and lies down next to him.

After what seems like forever, Kanda asks, "Do you want to shower?"

"Um…I may need help getting there."

Kanda exhales through his nose and it sounds something like a laugh. "Come on," he says, getting up and picking Allen up bridal style. When they get into the bathroom, Kanda sets Allen on the floor of the shower, turns on the water and rubs Allen down, because, well, they're really dirty.

Allen feels a bit pampered, and it's strange, because he never pegged Kanda as this type. Maybe he's just more loose than normal because they had sex?

"Hey, um…" Allen starts, rubbing some shampoo in his hair. "Was I…?" Kanda raises an eyebrow at him as he works shampoo into his own scalp. "Never mind," he blushes.

Kanda sighs. "You were fine."

Fine? Well, that's probably going to be as good as he'll get.

"You writhe like a bitch though. You have no tolerance for pain, do you?"

"Shut up," Allen mutters. "It _hurt_." He pauses. "It still hurts. Didn't you say you weren't going to hurt me?"

Kanda coughs and looks away.

When they're finished with their shower, Allen kind of has the strength to at least get back to bed on his own. He climbs in under the sheets in a pair of boxers and snuggles up close to Kanda when he lies in bed.

"I meant it," Allen starts.

"This again?"

"Yes, this again, Kanda. I meant it."

"Good, I'm _glad_."

"Why are you so awkward about this? We're in a relationship, is it so strange?"

"It's only been a month," Kanda says simply.

"A month is a long time."

"Not that long."

"Longer than any of our previous relationships."

Kanda snorts, "That's not saying much."

"Well, I get that you aren't going to say it back probably, like, ever, but I'm okay with that. As long as…Kanda, as long as I'm something to you."

Kanda scoffs, turns on his side to face Allen. He places a hand on his cheek and says, "I swear you are a fucking woman. If you were nothing to me, we would have fucked long ago and then never spoken again. You are _something_."

And Allen supposes that as much as a confession that he'll get. But it's enough.

He smiles into Kanda's arm, "Goodnight, Kanda."

"Night, Beansprout."

* * *

><p><strong>NOW THAT I HAVE BUTTERED YOU UP WITH PORN. :D<strong>

**I - okay, in RB, I pull a Hoshino. A bad Hoshino. Where everything is awesome and hunky-dory and then just kind of - collapses. Not in the next chapter, but I wanted to warn you guys of the impending sharp turn. I kept wondering when to say something about it, but I never really did. And now I am. ****It had to happen since everyone wants a sequel. So I just want to apologize for THAT. I don't think I'm going to change the genre of this from humor to angst or hurt/comfort or whatever, because the majority of this IS humor. And the 'Promises' will probably be humor/romance as well. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. Um. Yes. **

**Review :D **

**Oh, also - I want to announce a little project I'm working on (using to procrastinate) right now.**** I'm taking the original fairy tale of Beauty and the Beast, but writing it for Yullen, instead. I was originally going to do the Disney movie, but I've since decided against it. It probably won't be very long, a simply little one-shot fairy tale, but I do enjoy it so far, so I hope all of you do as well. **_  
><em>


	13. Chapter 13

**Enjoy more fluff. Idek what's wrong with me. The fluff def ends after this chapter though, so...**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

He wakes from a dreamless sleep, dead tired still. They probably hadn't gotten to bed until at least one or so, and then he was tossing and turning all night, kept waking up because he tends to kick and move in his sleep and it hurts to move the lower half of his body in any way, shape, or form.

When he looks over Kanda at the clock, it reads seven-thirty. They aren't meeting at breakfast until nine, so he tries to go back to sleep, but he can't. He's tired, he can't even keep his eyes open, but he can't fall asleep.

He rests his head on Kanda's bare chest, lets the smooth rhythm of his breathing soothe him. Kanda, well, sometimes he wakes up really late and sometimes he's up really early. It's weird, because he doesn't seem like such an ambiguous type, but, well, he is.

He presses a kiss to Kanda's tattoo, ends up wondering what it's for. Does it mean anything? He vaguely remembers Lavi telling him he got it two years ago. He snuggles up closer to Kanda, curves his body against the Japanese man, ignores the tingles in the small of his back in lieu of being closer to him.

He maybe falls into some kind of sleep-like state, drifting in and out, because when he looks at the clock again, it's close to an hour later. Kanda's awake now, just lying there, watching him.

"We need to get ready," Kanda tells him. "We have to meet them downstairs in half an hour."

"I know," Allen frowns. He goes to move, and then lets out a sharp whine, "I don't want to go."

"Don't be a little bitch, Beansprout. Get up and get dressed."

"I _hurt_, you jackarse. Let me just order room service and rest please. You can go downstairs and cover for me."

"No, because that idiot Lavi is going to catch on and we're never going to hear the end of it." Kanda sits up and crosses his arms. "Suck it up."

"No." He grabs his pillow and buries his face in it.

"Stop being a child and get up!"

"I am a child. Leave me alone."

"Get the fuck up, or else I swear I will punch you in the back."

Allen flinches. "Just let me rest. What if we both go in late and then say we slept in?"

"I refuse to do anything else than go downstairs and eat breakfast."

"No," he repeats. "No. No. No. Go away, then. Let me ache in peace." Then he feels hands underneath his body and he's vaulted onto Kanda's shoulder, held rather like a log. "Ow, ow, ow, ow. You're hurting me you idiot. Let me go."

"No," Kanda smirks. "No. No. No."

"I hate you so much," Allen whines. "Put me down!" Kanda carries him into the bathroom and drops him in the shower stall. "Arg! You arsehole! Why do you have to be such a damn bastard?"

"You told me to put you down," Kanda says, in an almost innocent manner. Then he turns the water on and Allen yelps, loudly, as cold shower water sprays him. "Now get up."

"I seriously…one day I am going to get you back for all the crap you do to me!" Allen yells. "Christ, that's _cold_."

"What happened to all that _love_ you had last night?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe it crawled in a corner and died when you dropped me in the _goddamn shower._" He stands, weakly, and gets out of the stall. "We're gonna be late anyway if you keep up things like this."

"Tell you what," Kanda says, walking towards him and kissing him gently. "We can skip, if you're already ready for round two."

"Ugh, screw _that_," Allen groans, pushing away. "I can barely walk. I don't need you making it worse. Let me just get dressed and we'll go. Let's see if Lavi won't make fun of us for my _limp_."

He grins like he got what he wanted. "You're over-exaggerating all of this." Kanda tells him. "It does not hurt that badly."

"Actually it does."

"Maybe you're just a pussy then, because it didn't hurt me that badly."

"I'm _so_ happy for you." Allen scoffs, sliding a shirt on. "If it's so fantastic for you, why'd you top?" He blushes a bit but shakes it off, because _really_.

"Because you whimpered 'fuck me' like a little bitch. You asked for it." Kanda's smirk is gigantic now and it only proves to piss him off. Because he knows it's true.

"So if I had said, 'Let me…ya know…you." Jesus why is he awkward now of all times? This is a competition just like any other. "You would have let me."

Kanda is still smiling, the _bastard_. "I don't care," he says. "I can go either way."

"That is just fantastic."

"It would have happened eventually," Kanda shrugs.

"But it could have been on a lazy day where we don't have crap to do on the next day."

"Are you regretting it?"

"What gave you the first clue?" He asks, but then he realizes that didn't really come out right, because Kanda's smile falters. "I don't – I don't regret sleeping with you or anything. I just wish we didn't have anything to do today. Like. I wish we could just laze around and eat and hang out."

Kanda doesn't really seem convinced.

"I'm serious. It – I liked it while it was happening – I mean. I - it was nice – awesome, actually," Oh crap he's doing that stumbling over himself thing. He's probably blushing as well. "Really, as soon as I'm feeling better, we should – oh god – you know. But like, I just kind of ache all over so I'm not in the best of moods."

Kanda smirks again and Allen is well aware that it's probably mostly due to the fact that he said they could sleep together again as soon as he's feeling better. _Kanda is a pervert_, he realizes_. A huge pervert_. And he understands why, because sex is great, but well, whatever.

After he's dressed he takes some ibuprofen, and really, the pain is already kind of starting to subside just from him walking around.

* * *

><p>They're about five minutes late to breakfast, but it's not really a big deal. Allen slides into the seat next to Lenalee, and he thinks he's doing totally fine. Totally normal. No big deal.<p>

"How was your fuck?" Is obviously the _only_ appropriate way to start the day. Obviously. Because Lavi could have it no other way.

"Wh-wha-wha?" Allen sputters, blushing. "It's time for breakfast, Lavi, breakfast." He points at the menu on the table and then picks it up.

"Ah, there's no denial! Yu, you totally scored last night, didn't you?"

"Breakfast," Allen says nervously. "Breakfast, breakfast, breakfast." He's kind of chanting it in a non-committal way, putting a sing-song inflection on the word. "Oh I think I'll get some eggs, and a Belgian waffle, and – oh that sausage looks _delicious_." Then he actually slaps his forehead really hard, and beats his head on the table. Because, wow, nice going Allen.

They all laugh at him. All of them. Well, Miranda kind of half-laughs, obviously trying to hide it. But really, even Kanda full out laughs at him.

"I'm going to crawl somewhere and _die_ now."

When the lady takes his order, he decides to omit the sausage from his meal.

* * *

><p>"Okay, so, screw you, because Lavi still found out and he's still teasing us and you did nothing to stop him." Allen whispers as they walk from the restaurant.<p>

Kanda hasn't lost his asshole smirk. "You set yourself up with that one."

"Listen, you could have like, not _laughed_."

Lavi speaks up then. "So, beach time! Everyone let's get our shit and we'll meet right by the entrance to the beach in twenty minutes."

Agreeing, they all climb into the elevator and when they arrive at their floor, they walk in a comfortable silence to their room. Allen still isn't happy with Kanda, but he isn't really angry either.

Because seriously, the beach.

Hell yes.

Because of someone – he glares at Kanda pointedly who just gives him this look that asks 'what the fuck did I do _now_?' – he didn't get to swim last night. Or rather, this morning. So this time he's going to make the best of it. He quickly strips and changes into his trunks, which are kind of dampened and stiff from drying on the floor last night, and finds that he can at least move normally now without dying from extreme pain.

They get dressed so quickly, they're left with ten extra minutes before they even have to leave their room, so Allen falls onto the bed, smiling, and motions for Kanda to join him.

The long haired man does, opting to crawl onto the bed rather than to fall on it, and lays on Allen's outstretched arm. He's warm and soft and Allen folds himself into Kanda's, cuddles up next to him. He can fall asleep like this, curled up against Kanda; when he rests his head on Kanda's chest, he can see the beach outside, how the tide rolls up and sweeps along, how the people inhabit it.

"Thank you," Allen says suddenly. He isn't sure of where it came from.

Kanda looks at him strange. "Why?"

"I dunno. Thank you. For everything, I guess, I don't know."

"Retard."

"Have you ever thought about being a professional moment-ruiner?"

"That isn't a word."

"What's your point? Think about it, because it is your greatest skill." Kanda leans up and over Allen, smirking, and Allen rolls his eyes. "_Greatest_," he repeats.

Kanda frowns then and lays back down, lets Allen curl up against him and trace lazy patterns on his chest.

"What's your tattoo mean?" Kanda doesn't answer him at first, so he repeats himself.

"I heard you the first time," Kanda sneers.

"Well?"

Kanda goes quiet again and Allen is about to just drop it before he says, "There's a lot you don't know about me, Beansprout. Wouldn't it be easier to keep it like that?"

"How can you say that?" Allen asks, looking up at Kanda's face.

"You aren't going to like everything you hear about me."

"I want to know," Allen lays his head back on Kanda's chest, listens to his heartbeat; it's a little more rapid than normal, but not fast. He lays his palm flat against Kanda's hard stomach, rubs it with the side of his thumb.

Kanda shifts uncomfortably. "When I was younger, there was a boy na-"

Allen's phone beeps from the table beside them. Sighing, he stands and gets it, says, "Lavi always has to ruin everything. He says they're all waiting for us downstairs and – dear lord he never _stops_." He does not need to tell Allen to stop fucking Kanda. Allen's pretty sure he can decide what to do on his own.

When they arrive downstairs, sun screen and towels in tow, Kanda almost turns around and goes back to his room. Allen understands. Allen has half a mind to do so as well.

_Why_ does Lavi have to be lounging in a speedo? Why must he make everyone _so_ uncomfortable?

"Sexy and I know it," he smiles when they walk up to him, hands against their foreheads in exasperation.

"I sometimes think you do this on purpose. Just to make us hate you." Allen sighs. Miranda actually looks like she's about to blow a gasket and Kanda has this contemplative look on his face that tells Allen he's plotting murder.

They all go out to the water (Lenalee ties a towel around Lavi's waist with a sigh) and have to actually dodge people because there are so many. They finally find a spot that – well, it isn't really secluded, but there are less people and they have room to at least set down beach towels, and Kanda lies down on one of them, closes his eyes and relaxes.

"Are you going to _tan_?" Allen asks, incredulous. "Why don't you come swimming?"

"My hair, Beansprout."

"Whatever," Allen grumbles, walking over to the water with the rest of his friends.

"Yu being difficult again?" Lavi asks, laughing.

"He refuses to swim because of his _hair_, of all things."

Lenalee laughs. "Is he using that again?" Allen gives her a look. "Kanda can't swim."

"What…?"

"Lenalee you're wording that wrong," Lavi pats her back as he floats across the water on an inner tube. "He can't swim _well_."

Allen dives under the warmed gulf water, closes his eyes to it and comes back up for air. "Why not?"

"I dunno," Lenalee shrugs. "He's just never been good at it."

"He can't swim, he can't drive." Lavi smiles, paddling himself backwards towards Allen. "But tell me, can he fuck?"

"Oh my god, how is that relevant?"

"So you admit you know!"

Allen pushes Lavi's inner tube over. "_Drown_."

Lavi sputters as he comes back up for air. "That is no way to treat someone who gave you this weekend!"

Allen laughs. "Sorry," he says, not really feeling sorry in the least.

"Oh, wait, I just remembered something," Lavi tells him, going under the water and popping back up through the middle of the inner tube. "Dinner tonight. Reservations at Mariner's for eight."

"Yeah, thanks, considering I've been asking you about it for a few days now. I appreciate that you decide to tell me the day of. Because making plans last minute is always a good idea." Allen rolls his eyes, sardonic.

Reever floats by on his back, "Lavi's middle name is Spontaneous."

"Lavi's middle name is Trouble."

"Lavi's middle name is Uncomfortable."

"Lavi's middle name is Awesome."

"You aren't allowed to give yourself a middle name. That isn't how it works."

Allen crawls from the water then, meanders over to Kanda and sits down on a towel next to him, gets a bottle of sunscreen and starts rubbing it on himself. Kanda peers at him with one eye and says, "Nice going. Aren't you supposed to do that before you go out into the water?"

"I forgot. Shut up. Why aren't you putting on sunscreen?"

"I don't burn."

"You don't swim, either," Allen grins.

"Shut the hell up."

"You could have just told me."

"I did."

"You told me it was because of your hair, not because you aren't a strong swimmer."

Kanda leans up on his elbows to glare at him. "He can never shut his goddamn mouth."

"Of course not." Allen lies down next to him. "Even caked in this, I'm probably going to burn."

"You smell like shit."

"Thank you. That's actually really moving of you to say."

"I try," he grumbles, lying back down and closing his eyes.

They lay there in silence for a few minutes, and the warm sun ends up sending Allen to sleep. When he wakes up, he can't move at all, and that may be contributed to the fact that he has been encased in sand. Lavi is sitting on his chest, staring down at him, and next to him Kanda is in a similar position. Allen watches him wiggle and struggle, growling indecencies, and screaming at Lavi to 'get him the fuck out of this.'

Lavi lays down flat on top of him, props his face up on his hands and says, "Hmmm, nope."

"Get the fuck off of him!" Kanda growls. "And dig me out of this. Lenalee!" He roars. "Get over here."

Allen can't see her, because he can't really move his head, but he hears her say, "I'm sorry, guys. Lavi's really, really persuasive."

"Lavi," Allen starts. "Please let me out."

"Oh, Al, this is just too much fun. But maybe if you can persuade me."

"Lavi. Let me out and I'll give you anything you want. Well, within the realm of possibility."

"Do not say that, you idiot Beansprout!"

"Anything?" Lavi asks, pressing a finger to his lips in contemplation.

"Sure."

"Okay!" Lavi jumps off of him. "I'll let you out if you…hmmm….give me all the juicy details of last night."

"I swear to god that if you agree, I will fucking mur-"

"Fine. Let us out." Allen agrees, nodding. It's not like he's actually going to tell him, there's no way Lavi can force information out of him, but he wants to get out of the damn sand. It's getting everywhere and it just generally feels uncomfortable. The first thing he's doing when he gets back to the room is taking a shower.

So Lavi starts scooping the sand away and as soon as Allen is released, he stands, stretching. Then he feels this chill running up his back and turns to look at Kanda. Death feels so close for some reason.

* * *

><p>When he gets back to the hotel room, he makes a beeline for the shower. When he gets by the bathroom door, Kanda shoves him to the side and starts stripping right there in the bathroom.<p>

"I'm sorry, but what the hell are you doing?" Allen asks, holding onto the doorframe for support.

"Taking a fucking shower," Kanda says. "What the fuck does it look like I'm doing?"

"I was going to take a shower."

"I don't care what the fuck you were going to do."

Kanda is completely naked now, stepping into the shower and Allen is trying his best to keep breathing. He turns the water on and shuts the door to the stall; Allen is stuck to watch as the water runs down his skin. He inhales and then steps forward.

"I need to shower too."

Kanda pushes the door open. "Get in." Allen frowns and fiddles with the edge of his shirt. "Get the fuck in." Biting his bottom lip, he pulls his shirt over his head and steps into the shower. "Take off your goddamn pants."

Allen looks at the floor of the shower. It only proves to remind him that Kanda's naked. So, exhaling sharply through his nose he pulls off his swimming trunks and throws them on the floor of the bathroom.

"Why'd the hell you agree to tell Lavi about last night?"

"I'm not actually going to tell him anything," Allen defends, looking up into Kanda's face because if he looks at anything else he's gonna faint. Kanda is smirking.

"I'm not even going to ask if you've ever showered with anyone."

Allen blushes. "Of course I haven't. I mean, unless earlier counts but that was different. I couldn't exactly – well, you know." Kanda kisses him then, presses him against the wall. "This is why," he starts as Kanda nips at his neck. "I didn't want to take off my pants."

Kanda chuckles and retreats, grabs the bottle of shampoo and starts washing his hair. Allen watches as he massages his scalp, runs his fingers down the long strands. He has to use a lot more product than Allen does, which makes sense. "Is this why your hair is always a fucking mess? You don't wash it?"

"I do!" Allen argues, stealing the bottle from Kanda's hands. He pours some in his hands, then works it through the medium-length strands, massaging his scalp as Kanda did. The long haired man looks absolutely amazing, with all that hair sticking to his body and his eyes all sultry, putting body wash in his hands before rubbing it up Allen's chest. Allen shivers at the touch, his hands retreating from his hair to push Kanda's hands away.

"I'm not always trying to have sex with you," Kanda growls.

"Fine," Allen replies moodily and Kanda returns to washing his body, fingernails massaging into his skin and making him melt under his touch. It isn't an actual massage or anything like that, just firm presses calming circular motions. Kanda reaches around him scrubs up his back and down it, and when his fingers reach the small of Allen's back, Allen blushes ferociously and bites his lip.

"You seem like you want it, though," Kanda smirks, pressing his lips to Allen's neck before his hands move back to Allen's front. Flat palms rub all over his body, making him hot and – Jesus this is exactly what he didn't want to happen.

"No," Allen mumbles weakly. He pushes Kanda away.

Kanda snickers at him, "Slut."

"That isn't fair! You were touching me all over!"

"Slut," Kanda repeats. So Allen takes the body wash and puts some in his hands, starts rubbing Kanda down. The man is smirking at first, but it soon transforms into something like extreme concentration. "Now you're just a tease," he frowns.

"See?" Allen asks, moving away. Then he's on the floor and Kanda is kissing him and he knew, _knew_ this was going to happen. "We aren't having sex," Allen manages out as Kanda attaches his mouth to Allen's neck. It's quite possibly the hardest thing he's ever said in his life. Kanda presses his hips to Allen's and well, he can't even deny that he totally doesn't want it anymore. They kind of grind sloppily for a few minutes and eventually they pull away. At least they're already in the shower so they don't have to clean up.

When they step out, Allen has shaky legs. Kanda smirks at him and when he grabs his phone, he sees one missed call from Lavi. He checks the time, sees that it's close to three, and gets dried and dressed before calling him back.

"Hello?"

"_Allen! I just wanted to let you know that you can't renege on our deal. Also, there's a surprise for you when you get to the restaurant_!"

"What?"

"_That wouldn't make it a surprise, now would it?" _

"I guess not…"

"_Anyway, tomorrow. You have to tell me everything tomorrow." _

"_Fine_, Lavi. Fine." He's just going to lie to him. Lavi'll never know either way.

"_Kay, Al! Have fun."_

"You aren't going to just show up this time, are you?"

"_Nope_!"

"Fine. Goodbye, Lavi."

"_Godspeed, Sir."_

* * *

><p>They are led onto an encased patio; it's air conditioned thankfully, and the walls are large windows overlooking the water.<p>

"Chef Jerry sends his congratulations on your anniversary and has rented the balcony for you tonight."

Allen blinks. He has no idea who Chef Jerry is, but this must have been what Lavi was talking about.

"Oh, tell him thank you very much. That's so very gracious of him," he dips his head, polite and Kanda nods in reiteration.

"He will most likely come and speak to you at some point in the meal, so you can thank him yourself," the hostess smiles, dipping her head a bit as well. "The Sommelier will arrive with your wine momentarily."

"But I'm no-" He starts, but Kanda gives him a look and he stops. "Thank you," he says, recovering. When she walks away, Allen leans over the table and gives Kanda a hard glare. "I'm not twenty-one! We're going to get in trouble."

"You look fifteen. She knows you aren't twenty-one." Kanda tells him. "Just shut up and enjoy the evening."

Allen frowns a bit and mutters, "I'm trying."

When the Sommelier arrives, he brings with him a tray of wine glasses filled only slightly. Allen gives Kanda a confused look, but Kanda gives him a look right back that tells him to just keep his mouth shut. So he does, and the Sommelier sets the glasses on the table between them.

They're a range of reds and plums and whites and light yellows. Kanda takes one on the right, a deep, deep red and sips it lightly, smirks a bit, and sets it back down before trying another. Allen just kind of sits there and watches him try them, smile or frown, and finally Kanda steps on his foot under the table.

He reigns in his yelp and takes a sip of a white wine, closes his eyes as the alcohol hits his tongue. It's kind of dry and tangy, sour like grapes on his tongue. He isn't really a wine drinker, so he has no idea if that's how it's supposed to taste or if it's that one, or if he's just completely off. This is Cross's territory. Not his.

Kanda must notice his distaste, so he motions to a plum colored wine on the opposite end, the first one he tried.

The Sommelier just stands there, watching them with a smile as they try the wines, and Allen exhales through his nose before gently sipping the red wine Kanda motioned to. He closes his eyes, mainly because he's watched Cross do it so many times, to savor the flavor.

He's assaulted by the tangy, fruity taste – rather like berries and spice. It slides down his throat easily and wetly, leaves his tongue tingling by the end of the taste. It's much more enjoyable than the previous wine and he smiles a bit. Kanda nods and the Sommelier scratches something down on a notepad. "Malbec and Sauvignon blend," he says to himself and smiles at them both before taking the glasses and walking away.

"What was that about?" Allen asks when he's walked away.

"You're an idiot. You test the wines and then choose based on what you enjoy."

"Well, I'm sorry," Allen frowns. "My godfather drinks wine, not _me_." Kanda rolls his eyes a bit, but smiles nonetheless. With the way the lights hit his face, he seems almost ethereal, like a cast-from-Heaven angel. Allen leans over the table a bit, over the set up in the middle, and runs a thumb down his cheek. "You know how pretty you are when you smile?"

Kanda flushes and knocks his hand away, looks at the cream colored cloth that covers the table.

"You're like a coin," Allen tells him.

"What the fuck?"

Allen laughs, "I mean, on one side you're mean and angry and pissy and on the other you're cute and romantic and soft."

Kanda twitches a bit. "Don't call me cute," he mutters.

"It's cute that you tell me not to call you cute. So, yeah, you are cute." Allen laughs a bit and looks out at the dark water. The sun had set about a half an hour or so ago, but there are remnants still there, the dark blue fading into a lighter pink near the horizon line. He sets his hand up on the table, open, and Kanda glares at it for a second before turning his nose up. Allen bites his lip trying not to smile. "I'm hurt," he says.

Kanda looks at him, even, then growls something and takes his hand. "Fucking _hand holding_…" He murmurs, eyes focused on their hands and not Allen's face. After a moment, he starts tracing the lines of Allen's palm, gently grazes his wrist with his thumb.

Allen giggles a bit. "That tickles," he smiles.

"Tickles? Your _wrist_?"

"Just, I think how light your touch is. It's tickling me." So Kanda's hand pushes up his arm, lightly, and his fingers lightly graze the inside of his elbow. Allen laughs and jerks his arm away. "Stop that." Kanda smirks and leans back; it's his 'I win' smirk.

'_Send me an Angel'_ plays over the speakers on the balcony suddenly, light and airy.

A new woman walks up to them, probably their waitress and says, "Chef Jerry will be with you momentarily to discuss your order." And then walks away.

"That was pointless," Kanda comments, and Allen has to agree. But perhaps she told them so they would be prepared when he bounds through the doors, towering and flamboyant. He's so tall, easily over six feet tall and dark skinned.

"Hello!" He says. "My name is Jerry and I'm the Head Chef here." He motions around him. "How are you honeys tonight?"

Allen blinks a bit and says, "Um, fine, thank you." He regains his composure. "I want to thank you for leaving the balcony to us."

"Oh that is _no_ problem at all! It's my gift to you! My goodness, a month? Are you in _love_?" Kanda coughs, loudly, and Jerry laughs. "Oh I am so sorry. I am nosy as anything." Allen smiles at him and shakes his head.

"It's quite alright."

Jerry claps once, loudly, and says, "So what are the two of you in the mood for?"

"Shouldn't we get menus?" Kanda asks, quite rudely.

The Head Chef laughs. "Of course!" He reaches behind him and hands them two menus. Where he got them from Allen isn't sure. "I'm sure you'd like to start with an appetizer. May I recommend Lagniappe for Two? It's fried gator, catfish strips, crawfish, boiled shrimp, and fried seafood stuffed mushrooms."

"I'm sorry," Allen says weakly. "Did you say 'fried alligator?'"

"Well, yeah, honey. Oh that cute accent of yours. You haven't been here for too long have you?"

"Um, I moved here in January. But I've never…alligator?"

"Oh it's good. You know what? I'm just gonna put you down for that. It's good, trust me. Do you want a soup or salad or gumbo to come out before your meal? We have crawfish etouffee and seafood gumbo, chicken or steak salad, or the soup of the day – which is potato, in case you're wondering."

The guy must have the menu memorized, because he's just reciting things off of it without looking.

Kanda shakes his head, but Allen can always eat more food. "I've never had crawfish etouffee."

"You haven't? Where have you been keepin' this boy? Under a rock?" Jerry asks Kanda; Kanda doesn't answer, so Jerry just shakes his head. "It's just rice and crawfish tails with spices and a sauce." He pauses. "Have you ever eaten anything Cajun?"

"Um, not really. I've only had crawfish, um, once."

"And a crawfish etouffee. Alright, what about for your entree?"

Allen turns the page of the menu, looks down a list titled 'Local Favorites' on one side and a list titled 'Fish and Shellfish' on the other. Half of this stuff he hasn't even heard of. He knows of tilapia (fish of some sort, right?) and the common seafood like oysters and shrimp, but what the hell is hollandaise sauce or mornay?

Some of this stuff he doesn't understand until he sees the description, and then, well, it _all_ seems good.

"I'll take the Crab and Shrimp Oscar." Allen tells Jerry, and the man nods fervently before turning to Kanda.

"Blackened Creole Chicken," he says simply, holding out the menu, but not looking at the Head Chef directly, instead opting to look outside at the darkened scenery,

Jerry laughs at him and nods. "Good, honeys. The Sommelier will be right out with your wine, and we'll get your appetizers out as soon as possible!"

He skips away.

"What the hell?" Allen asks, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat to give Kanda a hard glare. "Why were you acting so rude?"

Kanda looks at the tablecloth. "Whatever."

"In which universe is that an acceptable answer?"

"Mine," Kanda growls out.

Allen lets out a noise of distress and a sigh. "Why do you have to be like this? Why can't we have a nice evening? This place is awesome and Chef Jerry even let us have this balcony to ourselves. I don't understand why you're so bitchy. You were perfectly happy earlier today." Kanda lets out a 'Tch' and motions to himself. "I don't understand…"

"Come here," Kanda says, voice more calm than before.

Allen knows what Kanda's playing at. He does it a lot, before they're about to get in a fight. An actual fight. Allen doesn't want to be distracted right now, though, even if Kanda doesn't want a fight, Allen wants to know why he's acting so angry.

"I'll go over to you if you answer my question."

"Come over here and I'll answer it."

Allen exhales through his nose and stands from his seat, walks over to Kanda's and squats on the ground next to him, looks up at him. "What?"

Predictable as always, Kanda brings him into a deep kiss.

Kanda looks at him, gazes at him really, which makes him fidgety. It always has, but something about this feels awkward. It shouldn't, but – he sees depth in those eyes. And Kanda is really _looking_ at him, staring past his skin and to his soul.

And he imagines this is Kanda's way of telling him he won't leave. Ever.

Allen wants to kiss him again, but he just sat down from that, so he settles for holding his hand out and lying it on the table again.

"Again?" Kanda frowns a bit, but says nothing more and takes it, looks outside again.

"You really love the water, don't you?"

"I like the moon," Kanda clarifies, nodding at it. Allen surveys it, the chunk of silver floating in the cloudless sky and he likes it too.; it's beautiful and mysterious. Then he looks at Allen again and Allen is suddenly reminded of his comment from the night before, on his eyes.

"You sap," Allen smiles and Kanda blinks a few times in surprise. Then he frowns and takes his hand from Allen's, places it in his lap and watches as the Sommelier arrives and sets two glasses in front of then; he fills the glasses with a red, red wine and as he walks away the lights dim a bit.

It makes it easier to see outside, to watch a small island a bit out and how the waves crash against the rocky shore. The moonlight is bright and intense on the water, casting reflections, and he's pretty sure there's a boat down there in the water.

He looks back at Kanda and watches him drink the wine in long sips. He's graceful about it, holds the glass gingerly as he raises it to his lips and lowers it back down onto the table. Allen blinks and takes a sip of his as well, relishing the blackberry like taste as it slides down his throat. They drink in silence for a few minutes before the appetizer arrives. It is set down in the middle of the table and a plate is placed in front of each of them.

"This is…" He starts, smiling, picking at a piece of battered gator. "Fried alligator."

"Nice deduction skills. Did you guess that because it's the only fried thing on the plate?"

"No! Those mushrooms are fried."

"But they're _mushrooms_."

Allen gives him an indignant sound and tentatively nibbles at the alligator, tasting it before just popping it into his mouth and chewing. Even though it's fried, it's kind of chewy – gamey perhaps. But it's good. He tries the catfish strips next. He's had catfish before, but never like this. It's flaky on his tongue but at the same time…not…it's very strange.

He watches Kanda as he picks at the crawfish tails, pulls a yellow line from top of it and sticks it in his mouth, chews slowly and deliberately. So Allen does the same thing, grimacing as he wipes guts or whatever that is from the tail on his napkin in his lap, and eats it.

It definitely beats the other crawfish he's had; as he eats, he finds that there are so many delicious things he's never tried, so many foods he's missed out on. And that alone makes him decide to just, eat whatever he sees, not to have preconceptions about food because regardless of what it might sound or look like because it's possible it could be delicious.

"Kanda," he starts, and Kanda shoots him a look. A look that's perhaps half curiosity and half 'What? I'm eating.' "I'm really happy."

"And you had to tell me this because…?"

"Well, because I want you to know that I'm happy because you're here with me. I mean, I'm happy about the food, too, but I don't think it'd taste as good without you sitting there."

Kanda pauses from eating and looks up at him, "You're easily pleased."

Allen rolls his eyes. "I don't think it's possible for you to take a compliment. Or is it just that you aren't used to them?"

"Compliment?" Kanda crosses his arms.

"Compliment. Like, my meal is more enjoyable because you are here. When you're around, life is…better." Allen ends up scrunching his nose in distaste at his word choice, but leaves it be nonetheless.

"You say really embarrassing things, Beansprout." Kanda shakes his head and eats another crawfish tail before working on a mushroom. "Do you actually think about the lame things that come out of your mouth before you say them?"

Generally, no, not really. "You are infuriating! I am trying to…oh whatever." Allen mumbles. "You always do this."

Kanda shrugs and continues eating, and Allen, thankfully, hasn't lost his love of the food. He isn't really in that bad of a mood because Kanda _does_ always do this. Kanda can't say anything romantic for the life of him. And the only kind of compliments he gives are backhanded ones. Like, 'I don't generally surround myself with vegetables, but your height works with your childish personality.' Well, perhaps that's just an insult all around…but that's how Kanda talks. In insults.

"I don't understand why you always have to open your mouth," Kanda says after taking a long taste of wine. "You say I ruin moments, but you ruin them first."

"…is this the blame game you're playing? When did we regress to the first grade? Besides, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"If a moment is powerful enough, words aren't needed. Words shouldn't be needed. You can just never shut your goddamn mouth and it ruins moments that would otherwise be fine."

"I think moments can run along just fine with words. You have to ruin them by being an _arse_."

Kanda purses his lips in a thin line and crosses his arms. "You do understand this dinner was fine until you had to start speaking."

"Well of course we'd never fight if we never talked Kanda, but seriously, we aren't mind readers. How are we supposed to know each other's feelings if we don't _say_ anything?"

Kanda doesn't respond, just looks him heatedly in the eyes – the intensity of it goes straight to his stomach and then he kind of understands what Kanda means. His contempt is almost tangible in the air, like if Allen reached out he could touch it. But, more than contempt it's – well, it's a Kanda form of honesty. That fragile moment of truth that just speaks volumes and volumes about how someone really feels. It's almost like his eyes are telling Allen that regardless of words, he will always be Kanda and that Allen will always understand what he feels. Or what he doesn't.

The music shifts to '_Say a Prayer'_ and Allen hums along lightly, tries his best to just eat in silence with Kanda, to cherish the moments. Duran Duran must be one of Kanda's favorite bands, he thinks. Not that he can control what's played here, but the music seems to make him loose and open – his eyes are so light and filled with such emotion. When he looks at Allen they're soft and Allen does understand without words.

He smiles and stands then, which makes Kanda give him a confused look. He drags his chair over to the other side of the table then gets his food and puts it there next to him. The chairs are so close the arms touch, and Allen links his left hand with Kanda's right before eating again.

"Sorry," he whispers, smiling, and Kanda returns his smile, fills his glass with wine with his free hand.

When their waitress returns, Allen is about to remove his hand from Kanda's, but Kanda's grip tightens. He looks at the dark haired man, who doesn't return his gaze, just watches as the woman sets down Allen's etouffee and smiles at them before walking away.

Allen struggles not to smile too widely before trying his etouffee. It's good, very good, like everything else he's tried tonight. He puts a bit on his fork and holds it out to Kanda.

The man rolls his eyes and gives Allen a little glare; Allen nods to the fork insistently. Kanda sighs and leans forward, tries the food on his fork.

"Treating me like a fucking woman…" Kanda growls and Allen laughs.

"It's called being _romantic_."

"It's called being retarded."

Allen laughs again, and figures it really isn't possible for him to get angry at Kanda right now. Allen is loving everything that's coming out of his mouth, insult or otherwise.

"I love you," Allen laughs and Kanda frowns at him, but his grip on his hand is gentle. "I love you more than anyone," he coos, leaning his head on Kanda's shoulder.

"Why?"

"Why does anyone love anyone? I dunno. I just do. You're infuriating and awful, but you have your moments."

Kanda frowns at him again. "You're so strange."

"Well, why am I _something_?" Allen chuckles.

"Because."

"Wow, that was a great story in which you explained absolutely nothing."

Kanda gives him an exasperated sigh. "You just are."

"Then I just love you."

"Fine, _whatever_," Kanda rolls his eyes.

After the food arrives, they just eat in silence, side by side, elbows bumping together and knees knocking in and an awkward manner, but he just loves all of it.

* * *

><p>The next morning, they go to breakfast and Lavi nudges him, says, "You can give me the 411 on the hot sex on the way home."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Okie dokes guys. A lot of you are all angry at me for going into 'SRS MODE.' And well, I'm SORRY for that, but I HAVE to. If I don't go into srs mode there's no sequel, sooooo...prepare yourself. *nervoushappyface?*<br>**

**And I really wanna thank everyone for all the reviews and love. I really never thought people would like this so much, and I certainly never thought they would like it enough for a sequel. (Or that, for once in my life I would actually FINISH something...) But everything you guys say makes me happy, so, thank you :) **

**Look at me, talking like it's over. We still have five more chapters left of RB. In the words of Linguini: "LET'S DO THIS THING!" (Ratatouille reference FTW)  
><strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**You guys are going to hate this chapter. Short and - you'll see.  
><strong>

**Enjoy anyway?**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

They're making out, rather furiously really, when Kanda's phone rings. Allen doesn't hear it the first time, his labored breaths louder than the soft ringtone, but he does after a moment and bends back a little, eyes hooded.

"You should answer that."

"You really think so?" Kanda asks, nipping at his neck.

Well, it could be important, but… "No, not really," Allen says, groaning and arching his back. "Or at all, actually."

Allen's still playing the 'I'm recovering' card, even though it's complete shit. It's three days later, and he feels perfectly fine. It's just that, well, while he does want to do it again, he doesn't want to hurt again. Cause that sucked. A lot. Kanda assures him it won't be so bad the next time, but Allen isn't too sure. He really doesn't want there to be any pain at _all_.

So when Kanda goes to undo Allen's belt, Allen kind of does one of those things that he knows will make Kanda stop. This time he chooses: 'Pull hair harshly.'

"Arg, what the fuck?"

"Sorry, I was just _so_ into it."

"What the fuck ever," Kanda snaps, stands and goes to check his phone. His eyebrows furrow at the screen.

"Who was it?" Allen sits up on the bed.

"I don't know. Must have been a wrong number," he shrugs and pockets the phone. "You're a fucking tease, by the way. You said when you recovered."

"Kanda," he puffs out his bottom lip. "I just ache all over."

"That's bullshit," he points at Allen then pulls a shirt over his head. "Put a shirt on, we aren't having a repeat of my birthday."

"I highly doubt that's going to happen again," Allen frowns. "They haven't just barged in your house again."

"They're fucking weird like that. They do it after you've let your guard down."

"Or, you know, on birthdays. Which, funny enough, only happen once a year."

"Put on a motherfucking shirt anyway. How much would you like to bet that Lavi won't call or text us with plans for tonight?"

Oh right, July 4th. Independence Day.

"I actually only accept bets that I know I can win. Seeing as it's Lavi we're discussing, I'll bet nothing. He always makes plans for everything."

Lavi's a bit of a social butterfly; Allen guesses it's to compliment how _antisocial_ Kanda is.

The dark haired man nods, then watches Allen as he pulls a shirt on. "How is your hair always messy?" Kanda asks, walking up to him and running his fingers through the thick strands. Allen loves the feeling.

"I dunno. It's a good thing I have my own personal hairbrush though." He smiles as Kanda frowns, pats down a stray strand.

"Buy some fucking hair gel or hair spray. _Something_."

"Fine, fine," Allen nods. "I know you get sick of my bed-ridden look."

"That isn't the look I dislike," Kanda smirks, pulling Allen to him and biting down on his ear.

Allen yelps and pushes away. "Um, _ow_." He rubs his ear. "That hurt. Why don't you simmer down?"

Kanda frowns. "Maybe if you just pu-"

"Can we not talk about this?"

A single, dark, raised eyebrow.

"Fine. I'll think about it."

Kanda rolls his eyes.

"Oh come on, what do you want from me? Oh never mind – that's obvious. I understand it already happened once, I just…"

"If you really disliked bottoming," Kanda starts, walking towards the door and leaning against the door frame. "You can top. It was just that you seemed to enjoy it."

Allen flushes. "Seriously, how do you talk about this stuff with a straight face?" he mumbles, really more to himself than Kanda.

Kanda doesn't answer that, but throws a thumb over his shoulder. "Let's get brunch."

Allen doesn't need to be told twice. He hops to attention, glances at his still ruffled appearance in the mirror and shrugs. "Let's go!" He beams, skipping from the room and down Kanda's stairs. He's been staying here a lot lately, and Cross doesn't really seem to mind as long as he has dinner on the table. So Allen generally stays at the house _just_ long enough to cook, then speeds over to Kanda's.

Together, they walk to the bus stop and Allen sighs, "You know, I really wish I had a car." He rests his head on Kanda's shoulder as they wait.

"Are you pouting about it?"

"A little. I hate public transportation." Allen mutters. Kanda snorts at him, flips his hair over his shoulder. It hits Allen in the face, and Allen makes a disgruntled face. "That wasn't very nice."

Kanda smirks at him and they sit silently until the bus arrives.

They get off and head toward Café Du Monde. Coffee and beignets sound quite good right now. They walk into the small building, and Kanda goes to order. By now he understands exactly what Allen gets, mainly because it's simple. Just a lot of a little.

The dark haired man returns with two dozen beignets, sighing as he sets them down on the table, and goes back to get the coffees. When he returns, Allen smiles at him brightly.

"Thank you, Yu."

Kanda rolls his eyes and drinks his coffee in long sips. Allen puts a bit of creamer in his, then does the same before tearing into the beignets. They're really delicious. Seriously, he could _live_ off of the things. He looks up a bit and notices Kanda isn't eating.

"You're the one that suggested brunch. Why don't you at least try to eat something?"

Kanda is kind of like a child in the fact that Allen kind of has to make him eat. Like, 'if you eat all of your chicken nuggets you can have the toy,' but with 'if you eat all of you chicken nuggets I'll wash your dishes for a week' instead. Once, he accidentally told Kanda that if he actually ate a normal meal, Allen would act as his slave for a day. That ended up horribly. Or actually quite nicely depending on how one considers it.

Kanda scoffs at him and says, "You're not my mother."

"I'm not, thankfully. Raising you would probably be a complete and utter hell. Eat some beignets." He puts one on a napkin and slides it over to Kanda.

"Fuck that."

"If you love a beignet enough to want to have sex with it, I think you can stand to eat it."

Kanda grumbles something, but Allen can't hear him. "I don't like powdered things," he repeats at Allen's expression.

"You've never had a problem with them before!"

"I don't like them _now_." Kanda furrows his eyebrows and pushes the beignet back over to Allen. "You eat them – you seem to like stuffing things into your mouth." Kanda smirks a bit and Allen immediately recognizes the double entendre. Damn Lavi and his corruptions.

"You seriously paid for two dozen beignets and you aren't going to eat _any_?" Kanda's look tells him no. "Fine then." Allen wipes his mouth and gets out his wallet, puts a twenty dollar bill on the table in front of Kanda, where he originally slid the beignet.

"Keep your goddamn money."

"No. I'm not a girl. I don't need you to pay for all of my things."

"You don't have a job. I do. Keep your fucking twenty."

"No. Take it."

"I refuse."

"Take it," Allen stresses, picking up the dollar and shoving it in Kanda's face. "Here, let me help!" He shoves it down Kanda's shirt, sits back in his seat.

Kanda growls and fishes the twenty from the bottom of his shirt. "Fucking hell, _whatever_." He shoves the money in his jean's pocket and frowns deeply.

"And I want you to eat a beignet. Just one. Please? I'll feel bad."

"You paid for practically all of them. Forget it." Kanda crosses his arms and reclines in the chair, trains his eyes on the TV to their right. It's the news.

"Just one?" Allen pleads, folding his hands into a prayer-like fashion. "Please?"

"Arg! What the fuck _ever_." Kanda takes a beignet and takes a very large and vicious bite of it. "There," he says, mouth full of pastry. Allen starts laughing, and takes another sip of his drink.

"Thank you," he nods. Kanda's attention turns back to the TV and Allen's turns back to the food. By the time he's done, his coffee is a bit cold, so he pushes it to the side. "So what's going on in the world?"

"Same shit."

"Just a different day."

Kanda nods then and stands; Allen does so as well, stretching a bit. They're walking out when suddenly, Kanda freezes and turns back to the TV, strides up to it in long strides and calls to the barista, "Turn up the television!"

She does so, and Allen walks next to him, wonders what's got Kanda in such a fit.

"_-without any major lacerations, contusions, or even open wounds. However, the report given by the detective overseeing the case clearly states the victim was missing several vital organs. The cause of this has yet to be released." _

"How horrible," Allen whispers to himself.

"_This is not the first case of such a nature, however,"_ The news anchor continues. _"It matches the MO of the crime gang NOAH. The identities of the members of the syndicate are unknown, but if you have any information regarding them, relay it to the New Orleans police department immediately." _

Kanda seems distressed, then Allen's phone rings. He checks it. A number he doesn't know.

He answers it anyway.

"Hello?"

"_Allen?"_

"Is that you, Marie?"

"_It's Daisya – he's -"_

Allen looks up into Kanda's face. No way…

* * *

><p>They're sitting in the police station. It's old and aged inside, not at all clean or high-tech like the television shows portray them. The walls are a light blue, and there's a long black chair sitting against the wall with handcuffs attached to it. Marie is with them and apparently Chaoji's on his way.<p>

"Did you try to call me earlier?" Kanda asks, looking at the floor. Allen grasps his hand reassuringly and Kanda does not push him away.

"That was probably the coroner. He called me to identify the body."

"Was it really…?" Allen starts, then realizes he probably shouldn't say anything. But it's just that – Daisya was so amazing. He'd only really met him twice, but the guy was definitely a gift to the world. Amazing at soccer and making friends. Then he remembers that Marie is blind (how does he ever forget?) and realizes that to identify the body, Marie most likely had to touch his face. Had to feel his dead brother's cold visage. He bites his lip harshly. It's his fault. Kanda should have answered the phone call. He doesn't even realize he's crying until Kanda pulls him to his chest and rests a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," Allen whimpers into Kanda's shirt.

No one responds to that. Of course. This was their brother – who is Allen to say sorry, to express sympathy? When Mana died, he didn't want to hear, 'I'm sorry.' All he wanted to hear was, 'April Fool's!'

But Kanda, Marie, Chaoji. They have lost their father, and now their brother. He isn't sure of what to do. He wishes he could say something, anything, but nothing seems good enough – nothing really seems to fit.

"Kanda!" It's Lenalee's voice. "Marie, Allen," she exclaims, running up to them. The first thing she does is bend down a little and wraps her arms around Kanda and Marie – Allen is pulled into it as well as he is currently practically laying on Kanda. "Lavi and I got here as fast as we could."

Marie nods, but otherwise stays silent. Lavi walks in then with Miranda at his side, a sad smile on his lips. "Hey, Yu. Marie, Allen," He nods to them. Miranda looks extremely uncomfortable.

A police officer, female and pretty, walks up to them then. Allen unfolds himself from Kanda then and looks at her. "My name is Moa Hesse and I'm the detective overseeing the case. Are you Noise Marie?" She looks over at the man. He nods. "I have some questions I'd like to ask you separately, if you don't mind. Is Yu Kanda or Chaoji Han here?"

Kanda pushes away from Allen completely and stands. Allen suddenly feels very cold. "I'm Kanda."

"Chaoji is on his way," Marie offers. She nods.

"If you two will just follow me to my office," she walks down a hallway to their right and they all disappear into the third room down.

"Holy shit," Lavi says once they're gone, plopping down onto the bench. He runs long fingers through his bright red hair and sighs harshly. "Daisya man…"

"I know," Lenalee frowns. "He was like family to us. I mean, we've been friends for twelve years."

"And did you hear the report? Cause of death?" Lavi stares at his hands as if they're the most interesting things in the world. "Just like Tiedoll."

"Yeah," she rubs her arm.

"What does that mean?" Allen asks.

Lavi exhales a bit and looks up at Allen. His one green eyes is sad. "Well," he starts. There is a brief pause. "When Tiedoll died, they found the same thing. Organs missing. His friend, General Yeegar – well he was retired, just like Tiedoll – but he died in the same way, apparently. Or, well, we don't know if that's how he died – but somehow, without their bodies being opened in any way, they're missing vital organs. It's one of the NOAH gang's trademarks. They're really infamous around the South. I'm surprised you don't know of them."

"The name sounds really familiar," Allen says. "But…I don't know from where. I may have seen an article or heard about them while still in Europe."

"That's likely. While they're infamous here, they're known world-wide really."

"Wait so…" Allen is only now starting to put two and two together. "Daisya, Tiedoll…they were murdered?"

Lenalee inhales. "Well, yes. When Tiedoll died…well, the NOAH's aren't really biased with who they murder. It's a lot of 'wrong place at the wrong time,' but for two people in Kanda's immediate family…" She lets the rest of the statement hang.

"You…You don't think Kanda is in danger, do you?" Allen asks, fidgeting. "Or Marie or Chaoji?" He adds. It would be horrible if anything happened to Marie or Chaoji, but if something happened to Kanda…he isn't sure of what he'd do.

They're silent for a moment. "That's the million dollar question right now," Lavi says finally. "I mean, it seems strange that they would be. The NOAH aren't usually like this…"

"It's been so long though, do you think the NOAH even really recognizes the connection between them as father and son?"

"I don't know," Lavi mutters. He looks so serious and thoughtful now, like a completely different person. "But even if they did…why wait an entire year? And why only Daisya?"

Even though he doesn't really like to hear it, Lavi's right.

The door's open and Chaoji walks inside, looking worried. "Third door down," Allen offers, nodding towards the hallway; Chaoji nods and walks into the room.

"I'm worried," Lenalee states, biting her index finger.

"Me too." Lavi nods. "Not just about the NOAH, but about those three emotionally as well."

Allen isn't sure of how to react to any of this. He hasn't dealt with any kind of death in seven years. This is so fresh and raw and he doesn't understand how any of them can even discuss these things. Allen just wants to crawl up into Kanda's arms and sleep and sleep. Wants all of this to go away and for Daisya to come back.

"How…how many have the NOAH murdered?" Allen finds himself asking.

"No one knows. Documented murders that were positively committed by them? Somewhere around fifty. But there are hundreds of unsolved murders out there; any or all of them could be the NOAH's doing as well."

Allen swallows the rising bile in his throat. "If they're so dangerous, why doesn't someone stop them?"

"People have tried, sure," Lavi returns. "But they just end up raising the death count."

"So…people just live in fear of the NOAH?"

"Not necessarily. It's kind of like, let's say a pedestrian caution. You don't walk outside everyday scared you'll get hit by a car, do you?"

"No, but I look both ways before crossing a street." Allen replies. "But I see what you mean. Pedestrian caution." But it isn't to those who've been affected by the NOAH's antics. Allen is never going to look at the city the same way again. And not just New Orleans, but apparently the entire South. No. Lavi said world-wide. Is this how Kanda has hardened and changed? Shut himself off from the world because he's scared?

No, Kanda isn't scared of anything. He wants to believe that, wants to keep idolizing him in his mind. Kanda has never been anything but strong, indestructible in front of him.

Allen runs his hands down his face and lets out a breath. Kanda is still human. Still has emotions.

"Oh, they're coming back out. That was fast," Lavi says. Allen looks up, watches as the three brothers follow Officer Hesse from the room. They all look very, very tired – fatigued. It is sudden, but out of nowhere he sees aging in Kanda's face. Not extremely so; it's just that he looks so…drained. So very drained.

Allen stands, blinks a bit as Kanda stays completely away from him. Before he was letting him hold his hand, but now the dark haired man won't even look him directly in the eye? Allen swallows insecurities and reminds himself of the reason. Kanda did, after all, just hear of his brother's death. Murder. And he's positive Hesse must have discussed the possible danger they could be in. Kanda must be worried.

Still, he wishes he could hold Kanda, perhaps at least just to take some of the pain away. They may fight like crazy, but Allen still cares for him deeply, still wants him to be happy.

When they go home after that, riding the same bus, Kanda says nothing. As they're walking down Robert E. Lee, Allen goes to hold his hand again. Kanda looks at his hand, looks at Allen, then just look pained. His eyebrows scrunch together and then Kanda brings Allen into an embrace, right in the middle of the street. Allen holds him back, doesn't say anything as Kanda's tensed shoulders relax. He lets go and when Allen is about to split up with him, to go left down Music instead of right, Kanda's grip on his hand tightens. Allen understands. He thought, at first, Kanda might want his space, but he seems to have gotten over that. Allen smiles at him a bit, sadly, and starts to walk towards Kanda's house.

"No. I just. Let's go to your house."

Allen looks at him for a moment, then nods. "Okay," he says. "Let's go." Cross will be there, no doubt, but Allen doesn't care about that. Kanda is infinitely more important than Cross. Infinitely.

Allen unlocks the door, finds it strange when he doesn't see Cross in the living room or the kitchen. He may be in his room, but it doesn't matter since the door is closed. Allen leads Kanda into his room, sits him on the bed, kisses him gently; not really on the lips – on the forehead, cheeks, the corners of his eyes, his ears, his chin. Kanda's grip is loose on his shoulders. And it is so obvious now. Kanda loved both Tiedoll and Daisya. In his own Kanda kind of love. Allen imagines the dark haired would give anything in the world to have Daisya burst uninvited into his house now.

Then Kanda reacts to him, his grip tightening, lips moving to Allen's. The kiss is closed mouth, firm, as if Kanda is trying to press himself into Allen – trying to meld with him. "It's okay," Allen whispers, not even sure of why he's saying it seeing as he doesn't feel that way. "It's all alright."

Kanda looks at him, hard, says, "I don't need you to tell me that, optimistic beansprout." Kanda is so very hurt, obviously, but he is still Kanda. He will never stop being Kanda. Never stop being insulting or crude – he will never stop. Allen remembers Mana's words from so long ago:

"_Don't stop, keep walking."_

Kanda is the personification of those words. Allen has always tried to live his life by them, but Kanda accomplishes it – never stops moving. Never regrets or looks back.

"I love you," Allen whispers.

"I know," Kanda returns, pressing warm lips to a chilled neck. Allen melts a bit into the touch, the very chaste touch. They are so gentle with each other, so careful. Their caresses are soft and light, airy on the skin. It makes Allen shiver a bit, sigh softly. Right now they are not touching for the physical gain, but an emotional one. Allen is merely telling Kanda, 'I am here. I am with you.' And that is all he needs to convey. No more words are needed, no more actions, just the two of them, together.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm sick. Please don't hate on me. No seriously, went to the university's infirmary today and got all kinds of meds and shit. It sucks. But hey, at least now I have a reason to sleep all day.<strong>

**I'm really sorry this chapter is so short - in comparison to the other's, I mean. Chapter lengths go back to normal 15-18, so don't worry about that. And in other news, we hit 100 reviews! I would line you all up and give you all big hugs and cake or gift cards and shit if I could.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Dat Arekan.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifteen<strong>

He has not seen Kanda in a week. Allen has the slight suspicion that the older, dark haired man is avoiding him, but he doesn't want to think that. It's just that…it's always work this, work that. He's been working everyday (which he never did before), generally from early in the morning until long after dark.

He kind of thinks it's because he's trying to busy himself, to forget about what happened, but for some reason Allen feels like that isn't right. For some reason, it feels like Kanda _is_ avoiding him. Regardless of how hard he thinks about it, he keeps coming up with the same conclusion. Doesn't answer phone calls, responds to texts in a short-handed manner. Sometimes doesn't reply at all.

So then Allen wonders if he did something wrong. He isn't sure of what it could be, but it had to be something, or else Kanda wouldn't be acting in such a way.

Lavi, Miranda, and Lenalee show up to his house at the end of the week, file in cautiously and look around.

"Is Cross here?" Lenalee asks.

"Um, no. He isn't." Now that Allen thinks about it, he hasn't seen a lot of Cross since the deal with Daisya. "Why?"

"We need to talk with you."

"About…?" This is all sounding very dark. Allen doesn't like it.

"Well, I was doing a bit of research," Lavi starts. "And I came across this article."

He pulls a folded up newspaper article from his pocket, hands it to Allen. It's yellowed and crumpled, torn at the edges. There is a black and white image centered at the top, and even though it's old and crumpled and dirty, he still recognizes at least one person in it. "That's…" He looks at the caption.

_L to R: Generals Kevin Yeegar, Froi Tiedoll, Cross Marian, Klaud Nine, and Winters Socalo stand in front of a liberated Iraqi camp, proudly displaying the American flag. _

Allen looks at the top of the paper. December, 1990.

He kind of knew about Cross's involvement in the military, had even heard him mention Iraq and Kuwait during one of his drunken rants, but he never knew that he was a general – that he fought in a war.

"But…what does this have to do with anything?" Allen asks, confused. Confused about a lot of things, but firstly what this has to do with the current situation.

"First Yeegar," Lavi points at a picture of an older man with longish hair and a serene and wise smile. "Then Tiedoll," his finger moves to point to a picture of a happy expression and kind eyes. Tiedoll. He's never seen him before, and now that he thinks about it, there aren't any pictures of him in Kanda's house. At least that he's seen. "That seems like too much of a coincidence. What if…"

"What if they're targeting generals?" Allen finishes. His heart beats loudly in his chest. He definitely saw Cross last night at dinner, but now it just seems strange that he's been out all the time. He's generally too lazy for that. "I don't know. Have any other general's been killed? Outside of those that fought in Desert Storm?"

"Well, there was one, five years ago. They wouldn't have even linked it to the NOAH if it weren't for the fact that half of his heart looked like it'd been eaten."

"And there were no open wounds." It's more of a statement than a question. Allen isn't sure of whether he's starting to understand everything or just get more and more confused.

"The heart was still attached to arteries and veins, it hadn't been removed. Anyway, that happened in Canada, around Vancouver." They move into the living room and Lavi sits down on the couch. Miranda sits down next to him, eyebrows brought together; Lenalee and Allen sit on the coffee table facing the couch. "But I think that was coincidence. I don't think this is. It's just…it all seems very strange."

"Well, then why Daisya? Do you think he was just a coincidence?"

"No, not at all. Yeegar didn't have any family. He was a teacher a while back, but never had any children or anything."

"So what you're getting at is…that the NOAH are trying to kill off all the generals and their family members?" Allen swallows and Lenalee clasps onto his arm. Her head rests on his shoulder and Allen exhales, shaking a little bit with it.

"I think something happened in Desert Storm. Something related to the NOAH and the generals there at the time."

"But why wait so long?"

"They must not have even realized it at first. Maybe the generals saw something, or took something, or…"

Allen kind of feels like Lavi's grasping at straws, but he does understand that it doesn't all seem a coincidence. "Have you told Kanda? Or Marie or Chaoji?"

"No," Lavi shakes his head. "Because…I think Cross is next."

Allen bites his lip. "Why? You don't think the NOAH are going to go after all of…?"

"I get the feeling Daisya was more of a…" He pauses, cracks his knuckles in his right hand. "Lesson or clue."

Lenalee freezes. "Wait…what? What do you mean Lavi?" she asks, leaning forward a bit.

"I think they're trying to let us onto their plans." He clarifies. "Or at least let someone onto them."

"They're treating it like a game?" Lenalee whimpers, questioning. "But why now?"

"I don't know," Lavi returns, shaking his head. "Truthfully, the research libraries up at LSU will be much more thorough than these and as a student I'll get access to all the files. I think I might head up there sometime this week if they're open."

Allen nods at him. "Um, what about UNO's libraries?"

"They aren't going to be nearly extensive enough, but Lenalee, you're going to Loyola in the fall, do you think that you could get into their libraries?"

Lenalee looks to the side, then nods. "Um, yeah. I have my student ID already, so if the library is open, I'll be able to get into it."

"Alright. Allen, I don't want you telling Kanda about all of this yet. So don't worry about UNO and their library."

"Why?" Allen asks, jumping off the table. He inhales, shaking, and says, "Don't you think he has the right to know?"

"I do," Lavi concedes. "But Kanda…if you tell him this now, all it's going to do is drive him insane. I'm going to assume he's been avoiding you for the past week?" Allen wraps his arms around himself and nods. "He's being Kanda. Protecting you. I bet Officer Hesse brought up the possibility of it being a personal thing and the NOAH going after everyone related to Tiedoll and his family. But if he knew that you were a target regardless? What do you think he'd do?"

"I don't know!" Allen exclaims, arms falling at his side, sliding into the chair to his left. "But you're treating this as if…I'm Kanda's entire world. Like I'm the only one he has to protect. That isn't true."

"You're the most important one he has to protect."

"That's bullshit," Allen replies. "His brothers. You guys. Seriously, I've only known him seven or so months; you guys have been friends for ten or so years."

"And what about him?" Lavi asks, resting his head on his palm, watching Allen closely. "Is he not the most important thing to you?"

"He is! That's why I don't want to keep things from him! But Lavi, I'm not stupid or selfish in that I think I'm Kanda's everything. That knowing this would upset him so much."

Lavi stands. "You still don't understand Kanda. He's lost his father, and now his brother. I'm going to go out on a limb and say he doesn't want to lose anyone else that he cares about. Marie and Chaoji are grown men, can _handle_ themselves. But you? To him you're seventeen and fragile and young."

Allen holds his breath for a moment. "But I'm not! I'm not so fragile…"

"In his eyes, I have no doubts you are. It isn't necessarily a bad thing." He sighs. "If you must tell Kanda, go for it. But it's not going to be a good idea."

"I'm not going to keep things from him, Lavi."

"Alright, Al." He shoves his hands in his jean's pockets and looks around the living room. Then he holds his hand out to Miranda, who takes it. "I guess I only came over to warn you about that. I really think you should keep an eye on Cross. If you notice anything strange, take note of it and talk to him about it. You're like his kid, he might tell you."

Allen snorts. "Yeah, probably not." This serious Lavi, with the darkened green eye and sad smile, Allen doesn't like him much at all. Before, all he wanted to do half the time was punch the old Lavi in the stomach, but seeing this, maybe it's who Lavi really is. All smarts and seriousness. Telling Allen exactly how he sees it regardless of how Allen might take it.

"Are you coming Lenalee?" Lavi asks.

"Um, if Allen doesn't mind, I think I might stay over here for a little while."

Lavi nods. "Kay." Suddenly he brightens. "I'll check you cats later. If I see anything, I'll def let you guys know!"

Allen forces a smile to his face; he imagines he's never looked so fake. "Okay, Lavi. Same on our parts."

With that, Lavi skips from the premises, and Allen lets out a heavy sigh when he's gone. He feels a hand on his leg and looks at Lenalee, who's leaning over the couch and looking at him, worried. "Allen."

"What?"

"I…don't do anything stupid. Do you promise?"

"Huh?"

"Well," she starts, hand retreating. She sits right in the couch and stares at her hands. "It's just that…losing Daisya was really, really hard. Is really, really hard. But losing you would be worse. That sounds horrible," she laughs a bit, weakly. "I know. But even though I've only known you for seven months, Allen, you're very important to me. Lavi and Miranda too. And definitely Kanda. Really, I don't know if you realize how important you are to us."

Allen exhales lightly, "I'm sorry." He smiles, and takes her hands in his. "I won't go putting myself into danger, I promise. But I – you know I can't just let Cross get murdered. And I can't let Kanda get hurt either. Nor can I keep him in the dark."

"I know," she whispers back. "You're that type, Allen."

They talk for a while longer, then she leaves.

Allen is stuck wondering when and how to tell Kanda. He isn't going to keep things from him, but he doesn't want to worry him too much either. Especially if they're wrong. First, he has to talk to Cross.

* * *

><p>"What's this?" Cross asks, stepping into the living room. "Why are you here?"<p>

"I live here," Allen says simply. "I know it's easy to forget that considering we've lived together for what, almost eight years now?"

Cross sneers at him. "Thought you moved out. You always seem to be with your fag."

Allen sighs. He's long gotten used to Cross's offensive language, especially towards him and Kanda. "I have a question."

Cross is quiet for a split second. It's so short, it doesn't really feel like a hesitation, but Allen sees it. "What?"

Allen stands and pulls the newspaper clipping from his pocket, hands it to Cross. "What's going on? Lavi seems to think Daisya's death is related to Tiedoll's and Yeegar's. And that…"

"I'm a target?" Cross raises an eyebrow. "I'd be impressed, but with that red-head's grandfather, I'm not at all." He pauses. "And I guess you've all come to the conclusion that everyone related to us is as well." Allen nods at him. "Well, my idiot godchild, you're _half_ right."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Allen asks, more loudly than he originally intended. He flinches at the register of his own voice.

"You didn't let me finish, dipshit." Allen opens his mouth to say something, but stops. "Half right. You aren't a target; they aren't going to kill you."

"Me? Why does that sound like you're singling me out?"

Cross eyes him, lights a cigarette. Allen hates it when he does that in the living room. "I know you're an idiot, but don't you go looking for them."

"Why would I go looking for someone who wants to kill me? And you didn't answer my question."

Cross takes a long drag. He exhales the smoke and it hits Allen in the face. "I'm not going to, either. It isn't important."

"Um, yes, it actually is. We are talking about my _life_ here."

"All you need to know," Cross says, pointing a finger in his face. "Is that you aren't in danger."

Allen inhales sharply, to keep his cool. "But why? Are you saying everyone else is and I'm just…not?"

"That's right."

"So…Kanda…?"

"Oh yeah, he's definitely in danger. He should sleep with both eyes open. All of Tiedoll's kids should."

"What! Godfather, _please_. You have to explain this to me."

"Listen," Cross's expression goes dark. He leans in so close to Allen all he can smell is alcohol and cigarettes and sex. "If you care so much about that goddamned boy, keep him close to you. That's all I'm going to say."

"You act like I'm some kind of damn talisman or something! _Why_?"

Cross doesn't answer and Allen is getting tired of asking. So, in order to keep himself from hitting his guardian, he spins on his heel and storms off to his room. When he gets there, he slams the door and throws himself on the bed. He's so – so angry. How can Cross just stand there and tell him that the person he cares about most and his family are in immediate danger and he just…isn't? That he's going to be totally fine.

He slams his fist on the bed. The mattress absorbs the shock and no sound is made, but Allen kind of wants to be heard, wants Cross to understand how utterly pissed and helpless he feels. And he wants to talk to Kanda, but how is he supposed to explain the situation when he himself doesn't really understand?

But Cross's words on keeping Kanda close. If Cross isn't totally bullshitting him, he has to do it, even if he doesn't really understand everything. Because after everything, after all of these months of his world practically revolving around Kanda and Lenalee and Lavi, all of the fun times they've had, all of the seemingly inconsequential moments of laughter, he feels he'll do anything to save them. Even if Lenalee and Lavi aren't in immediate danger as family members, it doesn't make sense for them to be left alone completely with as close as they were to Kanda's family.

He takes out his phone and calls Kanda. It rings a couple of times and Kanda doesn't answer. So he calls him again. And keeps calling him. On the fourth time, Kanda answers.

"_What_!" He growls into the phone. Allen can hear the anger poured into the one word, but he isn't even remotely affected by it.

"We need to talk."

Kanda doesn't answer at first. "_Why_?"

"If you'll stop avoiding me, I'll let you know. You're probably at work, so after, just come by my house."

He hears Kanda swallow. "_Fine_." Then he hangs up. He shouldn't have expected anything more out of Kanda, but the way he acted doesn't really help Allen's mood. He just – he feels so young and stupid and all he wants to do is _protect_ Kanda. Everyone. Even if he is younger than them, it doesn't matter. None of them are going to die, because they _can't_. Allen cannot imagine a world without them, even a world without Cross.

"This is just too sudden," he says. But if he thinks about it, it isn't to anybody else. It's just that he wasn't around for Tiedoll's death. He sighs harshly and falls back on the bed, ends up falling asleep.

He awakens to the feeling of the bed dipping under the weight of another. He blinks, wearily, and opens his eyes to Kanda. _A week is too long_, he thinks. Sitting up, he leans his weight against the bedframe and smiles at his beautiful boyfriend.

"You wanted to talk," Kanda starts, wary. He's being gentle, more so than usual. Allen feels fingertips brush against his thigh then move to his arm. Slowly, Kanda bends forward to kiss him. Allen returns the kiss, softly, and then pulls back.

For a moment, he's completely forgotten what he wanted to talk about. "I…Lavi came over today." Allen remembers he left the clipping with Cross. "Hold on, I'mma be right back." Kanda nods, confused, and Allen bolts from the room, returns after a moment with the newspaper in his hand. He holds it out to Kanda who takes it and looks over it once. He doesn't say anything immediately, so Allen says, "He thinks there's a connection."

"Well that's obvious," Kanda scoffs, tossing the paper aside. But then he picks it back up quickly, as if realizing something. "Cross…" He looks up at Allen, and Allen is sure he sees something protective flash through Kanda's eyes, but it's gone after a second.

Allen nods. "All of the people in that photograph fought in Desert Storm. Yeegar didn't have any kin, but…" Kanda frowns deeply, Allen inhales. "Cross says that I'm not in any danger, which doesn't make any sense. But he told me that you are. That I need to keep you close. And Kanda I can't do that if you're avoiding me. You understand?" Allen presses his palm against Kanda's cheek.

Kanda is still frowning. "But…"

"I don't know what Cross means, but he's positive that I won't be hurt. You aren't protecting me by pushing away, Kanda."

Kanda swallows and Allen brushes his lips against the dark haired man's. "But why aren't you a target?"

"I don't know," Allen replies, leaning back again. He folds his arms. "He won't tell me." Kanda looks a bit suspicious, but doesn't say anything. "I didn't want to lie to you, Kanda, or keep this from you. I couldn't. And Marie and Chaoji, they should stick close as well, I assume. I don't want anybody else getting hurt."

Kanda's eyes close for a moment, then open. They're clear, bright. "Even though it doesn't make any sense…fine."

"You trust me?" Kanda looks down, holds Allen's hands. That's a yes. "Thank you," Allen whispers, releasing Kanda's hands in lieu of pulling him closer. They lie down together on the bed, embracing, and for the first time since Lavi came earlier that day, he feel safe. His heart is not beating thirty miles a minute, and he isn't concerned about anything in particular. "I probably worried you, huh? With the whole, 'we need to talk.'"

Kanda snorts. "Worried me?"

"Well, those _are_ infamous break up words." He laughs a bit.

"You didn't worry me," Kanda mutters, his nose settling in the crook of Allen's neck. Kanda's warm breath feels good on his skin, tingles. "You told me you'd never break up with me."

Allen laughs fully now. "I guess I did."

* * *

><p>It's nice, having Kanda at his side all the time again. The man is a bit more gentle with him, more careful perhaps, but definitely himself. They fight incessantly, it's kind of ridiculous how much they fight, but all that means to Allen is that some things will never change.<p>

Everything kind of goes back to normal, really; the four of them hang out together a lot. Daisya's funeral is somber, but not horrible. Lenalee cries harshly, he's sure he even sees Chaoji cry once, but Kanda and Marie and Lavi keep him strong.

At the funeral, Marie plays the piano, and Allen melts to the sound; after talking with Marie about it, the man asks him if he's considered pursuing it. Allen frowns a bit and realizes that, well, no, he hasn't.

After that, Marie starts coming to Kanda's house and introduces him to the keyboard that sits in Marie's old room. There used to be a grand piano, but Marie took it with him when he moved out.

They start simple. Allen learns from the very beginning. He picks it up very quickly, though, as if his fingers know the melodies better than his mind. A lot of the time, Kanda will sit on the bed, close his eyes and just listen. And it's these times where Allen understands Lavi's 'pedestrian caution' more than others. He is still worried, still watches and keeps his guard up, but he isn't going to stop living and being happy because of that.

He lives like this, going to Kanda's house every day, practicing piano twice a week, until the first week of August. School starts August 15th, a few days after Lavi's birthday, so until then, he's seeing as much of them as possible. Lavi goes up to Baton Rouge August 17th, and Lenalee starts at Loyola the same week.

He's walking to Kanda's home one day, after dinner with Cross, when suddenly, a figure steps into his sight. Allen stops for a second, then shakes his head, smiling at his paranoia, and continues on.

"Not even a hello, boy?"

He turns to the voice. In the dark light, all his sees is dark skin and golden eyes, even darker hair. A cigarette hangs from the man's lips, butt glowing very lightly.

"I'm sorry?" Allen starts, growing wary again.

"It's been ten years, Tyki, don't blame him for not remembering." A girl steps from the shadows, and she has the same dark skin tone, same eyes. He can only see the irises, no features are visible. "Hello, Allen." He can't see if she's smiling, but her voice sounds like she is. Small arms go around his waist.

"Um," he starts, shaken. Who in the world are these people?

"I'm sorry," she tells him. "You don't remember us. I understand. We only met once, and that was a while ago. I'm Rhode, and this is Tyki." There are no streetlamps illuminating them, but Allen wants nothing more than to see their faces. "Jeez, I can't believe it's taken this long to talk to you again. We've been watching you for a while now, but he hasn't let us say hi."

Allen exhales sharply, takes a step back. He feels like these people are dangerous.

"We've missed you, Allen."

"I don't…who _are_ you?"

"We were friends of your father. I'm sure you remember him." Tyki says.

Allen begins breathing more harshly, he can't seem to get enough air into his lungs. "Mana?"

"That's right. And your uncle, Neah. Him too."

These people can't be dangerous. Not if they were friends with Mana and Neah. They wouldn't group themselves with dangerous people. They were _good_.

So why can't he shake this feeling?

"Don't be so nervous, boy," Tyki says around his cigarette. "We aren't going to hurt you. We just wanted to say hello."

"Oh, well, hello then," Allen says. "How…did you know Mana?"

"Like I said, we were all good friends years ago. Now that's all; skip along to your boyfriend's."

Allen back-steps. He wants to run away, to Kanda, but he wants more information on Mana. It doesn't matter either way, though, because within moments Tyki and Rhode have disappeared.

Kanda must notice something's off with Allen, because the moment he walks in the door, Kanda asks, "What happened?"

Allen grimaces. "Um, I don't know. I was walking here and I met these people claiming they knew Mana." Kanda's eyes narrow. "Mana was a good man, though," Allen continues. "I don't think they were dangerous." His gut feeling has to be wrong. It's just paranoia.

"You can't just go around talking with random people," Kanda sighs. "Fuck, it's like talking to a child. You especially can't now. Not with all the shit going on."

"I know. It's not like I went looking for them. They just kind of showed up and started talking."

"Well next time random people walk up to you, _ignore them_."

"Fine, fine," Allen nods. He smiles reassuringly at Kanda, who simply frowns back. "Come on," Allen says, walking up to Kanda and wrapping arms around his neck and smirking. "Don't look so angry." He presses his lips to Kanda and the man eagerly returns the kiss. Allen really only meant for it to be light, chaste, but Kanda immediately deepens it, running his tongue against Allen's.

Allen understands that, well, it has been a month since they had sex. Kanda must be feeling frustrated. He is a little, even, and maybe – well, he isn't sure of why he's thinking like this.

But maybe it might help his uneasiness.

Kanda pulls him up the stairs, to his bedroom, and presses him to the bed. Kanda's already hard, but so is Allen. Allen wraps his legs around Kanda's hips, pushes up and groans into Kanda's mouth. It's helping already. His mind is all hazy with lust.

Their shirts are off in a matter of a second – their pants go right after. When they're in nothing but their underwear Kanda mutters, "You want to top, right?"

Allen doesn't even have the capacity to blush. "Sure, whatever." Really, anything at all sounds nice right now. It's like he's been taken over all of a sudden. They roll over and that's when Allen realizes he has absolutely no idea what he's doing. "Um," he starts, pushing up and leaning over Kanda.

"Just remember what I did to you," Kanda says, pulling Allen down into a kiss. Allen nods a bit and slides down Kanda's body a bit, places kisses on his throat, chest, runs a tongue over his left nipple, realizes he still knows nothing about that damn tattoo. But that isn't important right now.

What in the world is he doing?

Even remembering what Kanda did, which, if possible, makes him even harder, he still feels like such a complete idiot. Nonetheless, he decides to just go with it; mind fogged, he runs a tongue along Kanda's clothed erection, making the other arch up into his mouth. That in itself is inebriating, knowing he makes Kanda react in such a way.

Pulling down Kanda's underwear, he takes no time in running a flat tongue against the underside and taking him fully into his mouth. He feels like if he had, he would have backed out, would have gotten scared. And then Kanda might have murdered him.

Kanda lets out a breathy moan. It's soft, almost unheard, but the sound of it wipes every single doubt from his mind. He could sit back and stare at Kanda's dick and still go along with it, just to hear Kanda make that noise.

He goes down as far as he can, lips drawn over his teeth, tongue rubbing along as he pulls back up. His hands are kind of resting on Kanda's hips, grip it harshly as he takes in all of Kanda, his nose brushing against the patch of hair at the base of his cock. Kanda lets out a guttural groan and bucks up. Allen powers past his gag reflex and pulls back up, breathing. He looks up and see's Kanda's lidded eyes, dilated pupils, open mouth, flaring nostrils.

He leans up and presses a kiss to the side of Kanda's mouth, realizes how badly he wants some kind of relief. "There's lube in the drawer," Kanda says, and Allen leans over, opens the drawer harshly and takes it out. After pulling off his own underwear completely, hissing at the feeling of the air on him, he pours some into his hand, moves and slides a ring finger inside of Kanda.

His dark eyes flutter closed, and he breathes out slowly. After Kanda did it the first time, Allen kind of got the hang of it. He remembers that spot Kanda touched, and searches for it, doesn't find it before Kanda growls, "Hurry up," and he adds another finger. He pushes his ring and middle fingers up, feels a bundle of nerves, grazes it.

Kanda shivers violently, lets out a gust of breath. "Fuck," he mutters. Allen presses in and out slowly, picks up a faster rhythm and scissors his fingers when Kanda glares at him. "I'm not a –ugh – virgin. Just get on with it."

Allen's been kind of putting it off, going slowly because he's nervous, but he needs to feel Kanda so badly he feels like he's going to die if he doesn't. So he pulls his fingers out, leans up and slicks the lube on his own cock before lining up with Kanda's entrance and pushing in.

He gasps at the sensation. It is totally unlike anything he's anything he's ever felt before. It's so tight it's insane. It's not really painful, just – really, really tight. Even if Kanda isn't a virgin – oh holy shit, if Kanda is tight, how was he…before? Kanda must have been going crazy.

He can't think about that, though. Actually cannot. Not even if he tries. Kanda is kind of relaxed around him, which is good, but when he looks into Kanda's face he almost comes right on the spot. It's so…lewd. Seriously, he's never seen such a sexy expression on anyone before.

Inhaling sharply, he pulls back, whimpers a bit, decides it's even better this way. He hooks his arms under Kanda's legs and places them on his shoulders, as Kanda did to him, and pushes back inside. It's fairly rough, rougher than Allen meant, and Kanda's body lurches with the motion. The dark haired man lets out a low, keeling noise and says, "You're sure you've never done this?"

Allen chuckles sardonically, to the best of his ability, and picks up a steady rhythm. "Nng," Allen moans. "Fuck." How is Kanda able to form sentences right now? It's not so overbearing anymore, and as Allen rocks into Kanda, there is this unbearable heat pooling in his abdomen. He knows the feeling, but he doesn't want this to end just yet. He can't help it though, so he takes Kanda's cock in his hand and pumps in time with his thrusts.

Kanda's head dips back, lips pursed into a thin line, eyes shut tightly. There are feral noises coming from the back of his throat, and Allen can't hold back. His movements are erratic, moans loud, grip tight. His chest hurts from everything he's feeling, emotionally and physically. "Kanda," he whimpers as he thrusts in. "Ah, I'm…"

He doesn't finish before his hips still and he ejaculates. Kanda comes immediately afterwards, the substance pooling on his stomach and chest, and Allen collapses on top of the dark haired male. After a moment, he pulls out and moves to Kanda's side, curls up against him.

They take a few minutes to breathe before Kanda says, "Shower."

Allen nods and they run to the shower, end up going at it again. Sex is really the best distraction ever.

* * *

><p>Lavi's birthday is the next Wednesday. Ever since seeing Rhode and Tyki, he's been on his guard. Kanda too, it seems. He's a bit suspicious, but easier to deal with seeing as they sleep together more often now. Which, well, Allen always sticks to his morals and ideals, but – okay, sex feels really, really good. He isn't a slut about it (okay maybe a little bit, but totally not in a bad way), so it's alright.<p>

Allen has this thing about going to Lavi's house. It's just that – his grandfather is a bit…weird. There are books all over the place and he wears all this dark make-up around his eyes that makes him look like a panda. And he's very crude. Tends to kick Lavi a lot.

Admittedly, Allen kind of likes his grandfather for that. The red-head could use a good kick sometimes.

As it's Lavi's twenty-first birthday, he taunts them with daiquiris. Well, he tries to taunt them, but as the only other one who even remotely drinks out of them is Kanda, who is also twenty-one, it doesn't really work. After that party after prom months ago, Allen is never, ever touching alcohol again. Ever.

There is cake and ice cream and, well, presents. Kanda and Allen pooled their money together and got him this gigantic encyclopedia collection, which he actually, genuinely enjoyed. Allen wanted to get him a gag gift, something hilariously horrible, but Kanda refused to put money towards anything other than a serious present.

Lenalee ended up getting Lavi, like, a billion seasons of Doctor Who and Star Trek and all these other Sci-Fi shows that Allen didn't even know the red-head liked. And after all of this Lavi was pretty much vowing his life to the three of them. Which makes sense because, why do they always spend insane amounts of money on each other? Friends don't generally put this much money towards gifts, huh? But it just always ends up happening.

There is no mention of NOAH, or anything of consequence, really. They just joke and fool around like old times, generally enjoy each other's company. And Allen kind of understands now, what Cross meant when he said not to go after the NOAH.

Because if any of them touch his friends, they are most certainly going to pay.

* * *

><p>That night, when Allen goes home with Kanda, he finds a brochure in the kitchen, on the island underneath some mail.<p>

It's a brochure for studying abroad in Japan.

Allen doesn't say anything, casting it aside as just mail, but inside his heart, there is a new feeling of uneasiness. An uneasiness similar to when he was talking to Tyki and Rhode. A gut feeling that tells him he's just thinking what he wants to think, and that the worst possible answer is the right one.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh goodness, does anyone else see the plot for the sequel? <strong>

**Anyway, I ALMOST forgot I had to update today. I've just been sleeping and fucking around all day and then it hit me. I was like, "OHSHITRBNEEDSTOBEUPDATED" Just like that.**

**But also, I want to thank everyone for their kind words and get wells. It made me SO happy :) And I really am feeling a lot better now. **

**And that's all I have to say about that.**


	16. Chapter 16

**In the skype convo, Lavi is italics and Lenalee is bold. Also. I really wanna go to the aquarium. Really bad. When I head back to New Orleans I'm so going. **

**Enjoy (Even though you will all be hating me by the end of this.)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixteen<strong>

Senior year starts off by getting senior rings. His is silver, with a red gem, the embroidered sides reading his graduation date, the school's crest and motto. He wears it on his middle finger on his right hand, and, of course, Lavi has to be the first one to turn it. He doesn't really understand the deal with turning rings, but whatever. If they want to do it.

He hasn't seen Rhode or Tyki again, and he's half disappointed and half relieved about that. He has hundreds of questions to ask them, about Mana and Neah; a lot of the time he tries desperately to think back to those times with Mana, to remember a small girl and a tall man, but he just can't. He almost feels like they were lying, but they couldn't have – they knew about Mana and Neah.

And then he's getting more and more nervous about that brochure. He just can't shake the feeling. So one night he calls both Lavi and Lenalee over Skype, lies down on his bed as the three-way call connects.

"_Al_!" Lavi exclaims. "_Lena, babe! How are you guys_?"

"**Hey, Lavi**," Lenalee grins. "**Well, I've been fine. A bit busy, but Loyola's amazing**."

"_Ah, college,"_ Lavi laughs. "_What about you, Piglet_?"

Allen bites his lip. "Er, well, actually that's why I called." The both of them give him a confused expression. "Has Kanda, like, mentioned anything about, um, studying abroad?"

Lenalee blinks rapidly, probably startled by the question, and Lavi answers, "_Well, no. But I mean, Yu isn't the traveling type. Why do you ask?"_

"Well," Allen rubs the back of his head. "I took this from his house." He holds the brochure in front of the webcam. "I found it the day of your birthday, Lavi. But, well, I haven't brought it up. I really feel like I'm overreacting. It was probably just mail or something, but…"

"**I don't know,"** Lenalee starts. "**Kanda generally just throws away mail that he doesn't care about." **She fidgets uncomfortably. "**But he hasn't mentioned it to either of us."**

"_It's Yu, of course he didn't,"_ Lavi rolls his eyes a bit. "_You should definitely talk to him about it, Al. That seems really weird."_

"That's what I thought," Allen sighs. "I just…with everything going on, he's been so stressed and he works himself half to death, and then, with senior year starting off, I've been busy and there's just never really any time to talk. Plus, I…I don't want it to mean anything, you know?"

"**Allen, you can't just leave it be. But if you want, I'll talk to him**," Lenalee offers. He thinks it over for a minute, wonders if he'd rather hear it from Kanda or Lenalee. The answer isn't hard to come to. "**I really want to know as well**."

"No," he shakes his head. "I'm just being…a wimp about it." He sighs, heavily. "I'll talk to him about it, and trust me, you guys will be the first to know."

Lavi frowns a bit, but it's playful. "**So on a less depressing note, how's senior year been?**"

"Did you say less depressing?" Allen jokes. "Ugh, it's horrible so far. With everything going on I've been on edge and it's like last year with my grades but worse. I've only been in school for two weeks and I already wanna just drop out and be a bum."

Lenalee laughs. "**That's not good! You can't do that! You have to graduate and then come join me at Loyola!"**

"_No way! He's joining me at LSU!"_

Allen laughs. "Actually, well, I was talking with Marie and I was thinking about applying to NOCCA."

"**NOCCA**?" Lenalee asks. "**The performing arts school?"** She beams and leans forward. **"Are you gonna pursue music?"**

Allen grins a bit, "Well, I think so. I'm not sure of why, but it's like – I dunno it just _comes_ to me."

"_That's so cool,"_ Lavi pouts. "_I'm not good at the creative shit."_

"**Lavi, you do realize you're practically the smartest guy I know**," Lenalee tells him. "**Seriously, I wish I was as smart as you."**

Lavi grins, proudly. "_Well, I _am_ pretty awesome_."

"Sure," Allen deadpans. "But like, I was looking at the curriculum and it's pure insanity. I don't know how music majors do it. Especially at NOCCA. They're so strict."

"**What do you mean?"** Lenalee asks.

"Well…" Allen brings up the PDF file on his computer and glances through it. "Their view on attendance is outlandish. If you miss even one, you could fail the class. And then, if for any reason I fail a class, I'm on probation, if not immediately kicked out depending on the situation. There's this thing called Music Performance where I have to attend recitals every week at four in the afternoon and perform at them twice a quarter. And then, at the end of each semester, I'm placed in front of, well, they call it their 'Music Jury Requirement.' It's this board of people who sit there and determine if I'm good enough to go on. I have to perform all these scales and arpeggios and theoretical elements and it's just _insane_."

"…_Why do you want to do this? It sounds like suicide."_ Lavi says.

Allen sighs, flops down on the bed. "I dunno. It's just the only thing I really want to do, you know? Like, I've thought about a bunch of other things, but I don't want to do any of them. I'd rather go to NOCCA-slash-Music-Boot-Camp and love what I'm doing than go to some other college and pursue a degree I don't care about."

"**Why don't you go to a normal school**?" Lenalee asks, laughing. "**A lot of schools have music degrees**."

"Well, I'll have to after a year of NOCCA. It doesn't have degree programs or anything. But it's really good for recommendations and probably look fantastic for scholarships at actually colleges. And I need scholarships."

"_Touché_," Lavi nods. "_Oh_!" he perks up a bit, grows serious. "_I just remembered. I finally found something in LSU's libraries."_

"Really?" Allen asks, leaning in a bit. "What?"

"_Hold on_," Lavi disappears from the camera for a second. "_I checked out the newspapers. Where did I put them? Come on, come on. Ah! There. Okay_," He sits back in his chair, sifts through a shitload of newspapers. "_This one here_," he says, pulling out a sheet. He sets the others on the side. _"Well, it's technically a tabloid, and no one really thought anything of it, but it actually mentions the NOAH as a part of the Gulf wars. And guess what. After this was run…the editor-in-chief of the paper was murdered. Shot. But since that's not a specific trademark of the NOAH, no one linked it to them. Said it was just a coincidence."_

"Lavi…" Allen starts. "How long have the NOAH been around?"

"_Hard to say,"_ Lavi returns. "_Documented? I'd say about sixty years_."

"Sixty?"

"_Yeah. Apparently it's all a big family matter. Rather like the mafia. Well, I guess they are a mafia, really." _

"**I heard that as well, actually**," Lenalee says. "**That if a member of your family was a member, you're automatically induced when you're born."**

Lavi exhales. "_Which means this is a gigantic group_."

"Or a very small one," Allen offers. "If it's limited to family members, and random people from the outside can't join, it means there's select few."

"**True**," Lenalee nods.

"So," Allen mutters. "You think the generals knew something they weren't supposed to? And The NOAH are…trying to stop the information from spreading?"

"_I think that's as good an assumption as any_," Lavi returns. "_I mean, if there's any validity behind this tabloid. But, I also found this," _he says, pulling a paper from the pile. "_It's from before Desert Storm."_

He holds up the newspaper. Allen can't really tell what it is, but the headline says:

_Iraqi Official Found Dead; Mark of the NOAH_

"_It's from 1988. Two years before the Gulf war started. Now, why in the world would they bring attention to themselves like that? Why not shoot him? Or really, use an MO that doesn't fit their own?"_

"**That does sound weird," **Lenalee says. **"Maybe they like the attention? Like…what they did with Daisya." **

"_It seems most likely. I just can't think of any gain through being so obvious. Fear, perhaps? I'm just not sure." _There's silence for a bit. "_Well I don't know, but if I think of anything, I'll definitely let you guys know!"_ Lavi smiles. "_I've gotta go study now, I always have to go study…anyway, I'll talk to you guys a bit later!"_ He ends his side of the call, and Lenalee sighs a bit.

"**I feel like he has an endless reservoir of energy**."

"I know what you mean," Allen laughs.

"**So, anyway, I have a question for you. In regards to Kanda."**

Allen bites his lip. "Yeah?"

"**When was the last time the two of you went on a date? Like, a date date."**

He frowns a bit. "Um. Well we went out on the first." Their anniversary. And by out he means Taco Bell.

"**I mean a date. Not just going out, Allen."**

"Okay. Then technically – I guess…" Holy shit. "July first." He hits his head on the mattress. "That's horrible, isn't it?"

She chuckles nervously. **"Just a bit. But maybe you should try that. You know, go out and have fun!"**

"We haven't really had time for 'fun' lately. There's been a lot going on."

"**I get it. But bring it up to him. Go to the aquarium or the zoo or shopping or something! You could even just go to the park and have a picnic!"**

None of those really seem like something Kanda would like to do…

"I'll talk to him about it."

"**Good! Now go talk with your man. I've gotta get to the library to print some things out**." She turns around in her chair and goes through some things on a desk. "**Ah! There's my flash drive. I'll talk to you later, Allen."**

"Bye, Lenalee," he waves, and the call drops.

* * *

><p>"Kanda," he starts, chin resting on his palm. They're in the kitchen, Kanda's washing dishes and for the first time in a while he isn't so apprehensive. A Kanda in a good mood is a perfect Kanda. "I think we should go on a date."<p>

"A date?" Kanda asks, turning around, eyebrow raised. "When'd you become such a girl?"

Allen pouts a bit. "I'm not a girl…I just – I think we should go on a date."

"I got that," Kanda frowns, going back to his dishes. "Fine, whatever. Where do you want to go?"

"The zoo."

"No, it's too fucking hot."

"NOMA?"

"Walk around a museum and look at paintings all day? Fuck that."

"Fine, then the aquarium." Allen grumbles. "It's indoors, and there's plenty of stuff to look at."

Kanda is quiet for a moment. "Whatever."

Kanda should really create his own dictionary. Allen has come to learn that his 'whatever's are really 'yes's.

* * *

><p>A hurricane is coming, apparently. This is the prime time for one, and while Allen has never experienced one, he's grateful for the breeze, even if it's still a bit too warm for his tastes.<p>

The aquarium, thank god, is much, much cooler than outside. And it's nice and dark inside. Allen almost has the urge to hold Kanda's hand, but he doesn't. Kanda probably wouldn't let him anyhow.

He's only been to this aquarium once before, and it took about two hours to get through. He imagines it shouldn't take too much longer than that this time as well, and then they can go get some dinner somewhere. Somewhere sit-down. Not fast-food. Because Lenalee was right in that they need to go on dates more often. They've gotten into this routine where they spend all their time with each other, but they never really do anything. Not really. They've gotten food a couple of times, they'll go to movies and stuff, but they aren't dates. The only time he ever really connects with Kanda is during sex, and even then, sometimes, Kanda feels so distant.

What's happened to them?

During their walk-through of the aquarium, he gets a call from Lenalee. She asks about their date, and then, if they'd like to get dinner with her and Reever afterwards. Kind of like a double date. He asks Kanda, who says he doesn't give a shit, and Allen agrees.

They're kind of quiet throughout the time they're at the aquarium. They really only talk when Allen prompts something. And he understands that Kanda isn't really a talkative being, but – he seems really far away. He can't stop thinking about that goddamned brochure…

Dinner with Lenalee and Reever is nice. The three of them hold conversation, and again, Kanda only speaks when spoken to. It's starting to seriously frustrate Allen, but more than frustration he feels a…hopelessness. Like, he isn't sure of what to do to get back the Kanda from the beginning. When he was romantic in his own Kanda way and Allen understood that his feelings were returned.

Where did that go?

* * *

><p>After dinner with Lenalee and Reever, Allen and Kanda start the walk back to the bus stop. It's only a few blocks away, so it's not so bad, especially since it's nighttime and a bit cooler than earlier. It's dark enough outside, so he rolls up his sleeves and sighs, stretching. Kanda, beside him, is silent.<p>

Frowning, Allen links their fingers together. Kanda flinches a bit, but otherwise doesn't pull away or say anything. "Kanda?" He asks.

The dark haired man looks at him apprehensively. "What?"

"Are you alright?" His mind flashes to the brochure again.

Now Kanda pulls his hand away, tears it away really, and holds it to his chest. "It's nothing," he growls.

Allen inhales a bit in surprise. "Well obviously something's wrong…"

Kanda sneers at him. "Obviously, huh?"

Allen doesn't even have it in him to fight back. He can't think of anything biting to say, any cruel words to retort with. This is unlike him. "What…did I do?"

Kanda stops suddenly. Allen turns to him, and a warm breeze rolls through, makes his hair whip around his face. The storm will be here any day now. "What did you do?" Kanda asks, voice low. "Nothing," he says simply, continuing to walk again.

"Then why are you so – so angry at me?"

"I'm not angry at you!"

"Really? Then why the hell are you acting like such an arsehole? Why…" _The brochure. Why? You don't want to leave, do you?_

Allen hasn't moved, so Kanda stops again, spins on his heel. There's a good ten feet distance between them. "Haven't I always been an _arsehole_?"

"No, Kanda. No." Allen shakes his head and takes a step forward. Kanda stays where he is. "You may have always said cruel things, but you've never actually acted cruelly. You treat your friends apprehensively, but you're always there for them. Kanda, even in the beginning, you dealt with me. And you didn't even like me. But…you've been all over the place lately. As if you don't know whether to avoid me or ignore me or love me or just fuck me! Kanda, what is going on with you?"

Kanda doesn't answer him at first, doesn't say anything at all. Then:

"Tch," he scoffs. "Just shut up."

"I'm not going to just shut up, Kanda!" Allen runs his fingers through his hair. "Jesus. I saw the goddamned brochure. Are you planning on just leaving and not telling anyone?"

"Going through my mail now?" Kanda sneers.

"It was just sitting on your island in your kitchen." Allen replies. "What in the hell is _wrong_?"

Silence. The wind.

"I'm thinking your boyfriend is just a bit suspicious."

A familiar voice.

"Tyki. What…?" Allen asks, turning towards the new voice. Has he been behind them this whole time?

"Hello, boys." Tyki waves. He can actually see features this time, due to the lights from stores and street lights. He's handsome, really, with a small mole beneath his left eye and dark black, slicked back hair. Allen turns back to Kanda, watches his eyebrows furrow sharply. "I'm honored. You remember me?" He asks Kanda.

What does that mean?

"The _fuck_ do you want?"

"Well, actually, we were just popping on by to get Allen here." He says this, and Allen backs up a bit, watches as five others step into the light. How do they do that?

One of them is Rhode. Then there's a tall, muscular man who just looks generally dangerous and scary, a beautiful tall woman, and two teenage boys.

"What do you mean?" Allen asks. He backs up again and stumbles backwards into Kanda. The man grabs him, keeps them both from falling. Allen might have been comforted a bit by the touch if Kanda's grip wasn't so harsh.

"The boss wants to see you, Allen. He's requested we pick you up and bring you back." Rhode smiles.

"What? Why?"

The beautiful woman 'tchs,' and steps forward. "Questions are unnecessary. I suggest you come without a fight if you don't want your pretty little friend there to die."

Allen swallows. Kanda shoves him to the side and steps forward. "Fuck if he's going with you."

"Ohhh, protective," the darker haired teenage boy smirks. "Jasdero, think he'll still be that way once he knows the truth?"

The blonde one, Jasdero apparently, giggles. "Nope! Nope! Don't think so, Devit."

"What do you mean?" Allen asks. "Won't someone please tell me what the hell's going on?"

Rhode steps forward. "It's a shame you don't remember, Allen. The induction ceremony really is wonderful. The Boss always rents out a magnificent hall."

"What do you mean?" Allen asks, desperate. He takes a step forward, goes to take another but feels a hand grip his upper arm. He winces, looks up at Kanda. He forgets to breathe for a second; all the hate and cruelty and pain in Kanda's eyes isn't easy to look at directly.

"As you said, though, Rhode. It was so long ago. It's no wonder he doesn't remember." Tyki nods. "Listen, boy. Just to clear a few things up, our family – we're called the NOAH." Allen's knees go weak. He almost collapses, but Kanda's grip prevents it. "And your uncle was a member of this family."

"It's a shame he died," Rhode says. "He was very cool. A beautiful musician."

Allen can't think straight. Kanda grip loosens, and Allen drops to the ground. It hurts his knees as they connect with the cement. "So. So."

"So you're coming back with us." Tyki takes a step forward, holds out his hand. Allen look up at it. "Fourteenth."

Allen stares at the open hand blankly for a moment before scrambling backwards. He scrapes his hand on a rock, pushes himself up to stand instead.

"I don't…no! I…I don't care what you say. Neah was good. He never would have been a part of NOAH. And neither am I!" Kanda is just standing there silently, watching the ground. "Kanda, I promise. I'm not one of them. I'll never be one of them."

"It's too late," the tall woman says. "You already are."

"No!" Allen snaps at them. Tyki sighs harshly, takes Allen by the wrist. Allen tries to pull away, but ends up immobilized by golden eyes. "L-Let me go!" he starts struggling again. "Kanda!" He whips his head around to look at Kanda again.

The dark haired man looks up at him.

And Kanda was right.

No words are needed for Allen to understand what he feels.

Allen bites his lips, cries out, "Kanda, I promise! I didn't – I'm not!" He's hyperventilating, tearing up maybe? "Let me go!"

"Sorry, boy," Tyki says. "No can do."

And then Kanda turns on his heel and walks away.

"Kanda! Kanda don't go! You said you _trusted me_!" Allen yells.

Kanda stops. "I did!" He hollers back, then continues away.

"Let me go!" Allen repeats to Tyki. "I have to – let me go! Look at what you did! Let me go!" Allen struggles harshly. Tyki's grip tightens, and Allen feels something snap. "Arg!" His wrist – his wrist.

Kanda is gone. Kanda _left_ him.

"Sorry about your boyfriend," Tyki smirks. His grip isn't any softer on his wrist now that he's broken it. The pain is excruciating. And Allen is so light-headed. So very tired.

There is a large shadow over him then. "Sorry, kid," says the large one.

And then it is darkness.

* * *

><p>He wakes up on a soft couch. Groaning, he sits up, winces at the pain in his wrist as he uses both hands to do so. The room he's in is small and crowded with furniture.<p>

"Morning, sleepy head," Rhode says. She's sitting on a table a bit to the side. He looks at her, rubs his head with his good hand. "Whenever you're ready, the Boss wants to talk with you."

He squints a bit. His head is killing him. "What? What do you want with me?"

"Ah, you'll have to ask him that." Next to Rhode, his phone rings. Smiling, she answers it. "Hello?...Oh, I'm a friend. My name's Rhode…yes…oh well, hello Lavi…yes he's here…no, you can't speak with him I'm afraid…yes, I can deliver a message…uh-huh…right…no problem…Yes, I'll tell him. Goodbye." She hangs up. "Your friend wants to know, 'what the fuck you did to Yu.' I'm going to go out on a limb and guess he means your little boy-toy."

Allen stands from the couch. It hurts him in about thirty different ways to do so. "What's wrong with Kanda?"

"Oh you'll find out. As soon as you talk with the Boss. Why don't you go do that?"

Allen clenches his fists. "Fine! Where the hell is he?"

"Go through those doors," she points to a set of doors to his right. "Down the hall, fifth door on the right."

He nods, jaw set, and walks through the doors, down the hall, opens the fifth door on the right.

This room is gigantic. The walls, floor, and furniture is all white; there's a long, suede couch in the middle crowded with who he assumes to be NOAH. He recognizes all of the ones from last night, but there are few more he's never seen. Then, in the middle, a tall man with a five o'clock shadow. He seems different from the others, even though his skin tone is the same.

"Allen Walker," he grins. It's a gigantic smile.

"I'm going to assume you're the boss," Allen returns, staying where he is near the door.

"That's correct. You can call me The Earl. Or Father, if you'd like. Don. Whatever."

Allen refrains from saying something that might get him killed on the spot. "What do you want with me?"

"Oh, that's easy." The Earl stands, walks towards him. He almost steps back involuntarily, but stops himself. "We've been watching you, Allen. Ever since you arrived in New Orleans. That Cross thought he could hide here, away from Europe, but he was very wrong. No, with Tiedoll's family here, he ended up doing the opposite." Allen inhales a bit. "What do I want with you, though? All I want is for you to return…to your family."

"Family?" Allen asks, angry.

"That's right. Neah was your uncle, so that means you're family. And we love our family. Want to be together with our family."

"I refuse," Allen returns. "Why would I ever want to be a part of an organization like this? You _murder_ people."

"I'm sorry, but that isn't an option. You've already been inducted. You're already a part of this family."

"I _refuse_ to join you."

The Earl shakes his head. Every member of the NOAH behind him stays silent. "Well, then, Allen, how many friends do I need to kill for you to change your mind?"

Allen inhales sharply. "Keep your hands off of them, Earl."

"Who first? How about Yu Kanda?"

"Stop it!"

"Could it be you still care about him most? Even after he left you? What a shame."

He isn't sure of what he should do. There are no viable options here. He can't go with them, can't become a member of the NOAH; he also can't not go with them and let them hurt his friends. He certainly can't fight them off, not all – what thirteen or fourteen of them in the room? He probably couldn't even fight a single one of them off.

He could try running. But the Earl must notice something's off because he says, "Don't think about trying anything stupid, now, Allen." Yes, running would be considered stupid. He's fast, but they could definitely catch him. He doesn't even know where he is.

_What is he supposed to do? _

"Ah," The Earl frowns. "It looks like you're having some trouble deciding. How's this? I'll give you one year to decide. A year. Until then, we won't harm you or your friends."

Allen holds his breath. "What?"

"We care about you, Allen. And we want you to be happy, come to us willingly. I believe you will, but perhaps the wounds are too fresh. In a year, we'll meet again. I have no doubts your answer will differ from now."

Allen releases his breath. Still…

"Tyki? Why don't you show Allen home? I imagine he's exhausted." The Earl nods to Tyki, who pushes himself off the couch and advances towards Allen. "It was so nice to speak with you again, Allen. I can't wait until next time." He smiles his gigantic smile, and Tyki leads him from the room.

Allen hasn't yet registered what's happened. Did they just…let him leave? He was in an impossible position, and they just – let him out of it.

"Your hand, boy," Tyki says. Allen looks down at it, sees the skin is swollen and red. "Get yourself to a doctor."

Allen isn't sure of what to say to him, so he stays silent. They meet up with Rhode just outside the building, and she hands him his cell phone.

"It's sad that you're going, Allen." She wraps her arms around his waist, then leans up on her toes and kisses his cheek. He flinches a little, but it's nearly imperceptible. "But you'll be back."

He doubts that sincerely.

He sees now that he's in the middle of the city. A street sign nearby tells him he's on Carondelet Street.

"Bye, Allen," Rhode says, and retreats back inside. It's just a normal apartment building, it seems.

The first thing he does is call Lavi.

"_Allen_?" His voice is even, but Allen hears a touch of apprehensiveness.

"Lavi? What's going on?"

"_That's what I should be asking you. What the fuck, man_?"

"What happened, Lavi?"

A harsh sigh. _"I'm at the hospital. I got a motherfucking call from Lenalee late last night. Apparently Yu got hit by a car after you guy's dinner with her. Where the fuck are you? Better yet, where were you when Kanda was getting hit by vehicles!"_

"Where is he?" Allen asks, hectic. "Which hospital?"

Lavi growls out, "_East Jeff. Get your fucking ass over here right now. Why am I two hours away and here _first_!_?" Then he hangs up.

Allen gets a cab as quickly as he can.

* * *

><p>He rushes inside the hospital, pushes the door open with his bad hand and doesn't even feel pain there. Apparently Kanda's on the fourth floor, so he takes the stair, three at a time, trips once – he bites his tongue so hard it bleeds – and storms onto the floor. The first person he sees is Komui, who's sitting outside the room. And he only guesses it's Kanda's room because Komui's there.<p>

"Allen!...What happened to you?"

He must look like total shit, blood running down his lips, wrist all fucked up. He throws open the door to the room, shoves past Lavi and Lenalee, stares down at a sleeping Kanda.

He could be worse, Allen supposes. And once he sees that Kanda is alive and alright, he stumbles back into a chair, rests his face in his hands. He doesn't cry though, he can't do that. It's just – Kanda is _alive_.

"Allen?" Lenalee asks, worried. "What happened to you?" She gets a tissue and wipes at the edge of his lips. "Open your mouth." He does so, only because of the tone of her voice. "Holy shit," she whispers. "You're gonna need stitches." He swipes away her hand. "And your wrist…is it broken?"

"What the fuck?" Lavi asks. He stands next to Lenalee, stares down at Allen.

"Lavi, Allen needs help first, then he can explain." Lenalee says softly; her voice kind of soothes Allen.

"I'm sorry, but I'd like to know why my best friend got hit by a car last night." Lavi returns, angry. "And why his boyfriend wasn't there. Didn't show up until just now. Looks like he got in a fucking bar brawl."

"The NOAH," Allen says, breathing harshly. His voice sounds so much weaker than he expected it to. "They –" he can't speak past all the blood in his mouth. He's choking on it.

"Lavi! I'm going to get a doctor. Allen, don't speak." Lenalee says harshly, storming from the room.

Allen looks past Lavi at Kanda, finds himself overwhelmed with relief. His face is bruised, but – well, Allen can't see anything else.

"He's fine," Lavi sighs, sitting down. "Three broken ribs, fractured femur, dislocated shoulder. Bruised up everywhere. But he's fine."

A doctor comes in then, ushers Allen out. He's taken into a room a few doors down, and the doctor cleans up his mouth, numbs his entire mouth before stitching his tongue. It feels awkward and weird, but it doesn't hurt. He doesn't really feel much of anything. When the doctor's done, he surveys Allen's wrist.

The doctor sighs. "Kids these days think they're invincible. I'm going to give you a cast for your wrist, alright? You're just lucky that the bone didn't break the skin."

Allen can't really answer. Not with his mouth all numb and tongue all stitched up. All he wants is to get back to Kanda's bedside, to tell him that he really isn't a part of NOAH.

But he's kind of angry at himself. Why is he groveling? Shouldn't Kanda just believe him? Kanda _said_ he trusted him. Trusted…Past tense. Why?

"Son? Are you alright?" Allen must look distressed. He smiles and nods. _Sorry_, he wants to say. He pushes himself from the table he's sitting upon and the doctor says, "I'm going to prescribe you some pain medications. If you'll follow me. We'll need your Driver's License."

Allen stops him. "Kanda," he manages to say.

"Is he your friend? He's totally fine. Just a bit beaten up. We'll get you your prescription and then you can go see him again." Allen nods and follows the doctor out. Together, they walk up to a counter. The doctor knocks on the glass, and the nurse slides it open. "Do you need a school note?"

Allen doesn't even know what today is. Monday?

He nods anyway.

"Driver's License?" The receptionist asks. Allen pulls out his wallet, hands her his license. She types a few things into her computer and then says, "Your medical records aren't in the database. You don't have an insurance card with you, do you?"

Now that he thinks about it, he hasn't been to the doctors since he arrived in America, hasn't had any need to. Does he even _have_ insurance?

Allen shakes his head and the receptionist sighs. Allen gets a pad and paper and writes down, '_I'll pay for it with cash_.' The woman nods and he turns when he feels a hand on his back.

"How are you, Allen?" Lenalee asks.

He writes down, '_Never better_.'

She smiles at him. "Well, Lavi isn't going to be happy that you can't talk – truth be told, I'm not either." Her eyes hold so much worry. "I'm curious as to what happened in regards to the NOAH."

'_I know. I promise to explain it as soon as the numbness goes away.' _

He pulls some money from his wallet – holy crap this kind of stuff is expensive – and follows Lenalee back to Kanda's room. He steps up next to Kanda's bedside and places his hand on the dark haired man's. He was asleep, apparently, but at the touch, his dark eyes shoot open.

They're soft, for a moment, then grow hard. He pulls his hand from Allen's grasp, seems to wince at the pain. Allen blinks away the hurt and pain and anger. If only he could scream. If only Kanda would hear him, would listen to him.

"Why?" Allen manages out.

He doesn't answer, but pushes himself up into a sitting position. "What happened?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out," Lavi tells him.

"I don't remember," Kanda says. "I was walking to the bus stop. That's it."

"You got hit by a car, Kanda," Lenalee says. "You must have been distracted by something, or didn't see it coming. But you're fine. The doctor says you'll be completely healed in a month or so."

Kanda sneers at her, "Oh yeah, _completely_ fine."

She seems to be a little taken aback by his tone with her, but says nothing. Allen doesn't care if there's numbness, he just can't handle the pure, unadulterated anger in Kanda's eyes. Not when it's directed at him.

"Trust me," he says.

Allen almost sees it. Almost sees Kanda's eyes light up like they used to.

But then it's gone.

With that, Allen leaves the hospital.

* * *

><p><strong>So like. Go on. I know you're all gonna flame me. And that's alright. I've kind of come to the point where I just...accept it. I don't even really care, because its like, people are asking <em>why<em> I've gone and done this. It's because** **I aim for at least SOME semblance of realism and not everything is just always hunky dory. No, shit like THIS doesn't happen, generally, but I can't possibly have NO climax in a story. If you notice, though, I play a lot of this down. It goes by quickly and it's fairly unimportant. Because this story does still focus on their relationship, not the Noah or anything. **

**On another note, I'm uploading a little side story concerning Daisya's death in RB. I pretty much just tried to get as dark and horrific as I could (which isn't REALLY my forte, but the thing about writing and art is to walk out of your comfort zone.) It was a lot of fun, to be honest, even though it's kind of brutally cruel to poor Daisya. It was kind of exploring how they might work WITHOUT the super powers. **


	17. Chapter 17

**I may or may not have listened to 'I'm not Over' by Carolina Liar and 'All Over You' by The Spill Canvas on repeat while writing this…**

**I think I have finally managed to develop Lenalee to a point where I **_**love**_** her. I seriously used to really dislike her, but I don't anymore.**

**Enjoy. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seventeen<strong>

It's flu season, and of course he's sick. Not necessarily with the flu, but he does feel like utter shit. And it could be attributed to the fact that he's being 'ostracized' by his friends because they think he's a NOAH.

Explanation:

After Allen's tongue healed up, Lavi and Lenalee got Kanda to sit down with the three of them so Allen could try to explain. It ended up backfiring though, because half-way through it, Kanda made a comment that went something like this:

"Do you motherfucking think they would bother with a goddamned kid if they weren't absolutely fucking sure he was a member?"

And no one could disagree.

It even left Allen speechless at first. But then, despairingly, he told them that if the NOAH were right, and he was inducted as a child, he was _technically_ a member. He guesses that they kind of shut him out at this point, though, because no matter how many times he said, "I will never, ever join their ranks," or just generally denied having anything to do with them at this time, they ignored him.

So while Lenalee and Lavi still hang out with him (Well, Lavi when he's home) there is a distance there that wasn't before. And that hurts him. So much so it's making him physically sick.

And then there's Kanda.

He doesn't know what to do about Kanda, because the man won't go near him or answer his phone calls or anything. Allen understands that Kanda must be feeling betrayed, but the guy is just taking it so extreme. To not even listen to him. To just – break off everything that they had; not that it was going so well towards the end, but nonetheless.

He buries himself in schoolwork and fatty foods, tries to drown out the fact that a murderous organization wants him as a member and he has one year – no, eleven months – to think of something to stop them. It seems like a lot of time, but really? He's just a kid and this is a mafia that's been around for a good sixty years. That kills people. Horrifically. The only things he's ever murdered are probably insects. And even that kind of hurts his passive personality.

About a week into October, he gets a call from Lenalee.

"…_Allen_?"

"Lenalee," his voice is as soft as possible. He's missed her. They haven't talked in days.

"_Um, I have some news…Kanda didn't want me to tell you, but…I can't do this anymore, Allen_." Her breath hitches and cracks. "_I can't keep doubting you. I love you, and you're my friend and while I hate the NOAH, _hate them_ for what they did to Kanda, I really don't think you would ever, ever hurt him."_

"I wouldn't," he agrees. "I wouldn't hurt any of you, I promise." He keeps his tone gentle and soothing. "What's going on?"

"_He's serious. About spending a semester in Japan."_ She must be crying at least a little bit; she hiccups. "_He's going for the Spring."_

Allen doesn't respond for a moment. "I figured as much." And he had. He always had. Ever since he first saw the goddamned brochure two months ago. "How is he feeling?"

"_Um, well_." She starts, slowly, breath starting to even out. "_Do you want the truth or a lie_?" He gives her a pointed silence and she laughs a bit, weakly. "_Yeah. Um. Truthfully…he seems okay. I mean, not perfect. But he's doing well._"

Well, well is better than Allen's fairing, so that has to count for something. "I see…"

"_I wish…"_ she starts. "_That everything could go back to how it was_."

"Me too," Allen sighs. He lies down on his bed, stares at the ceiling. Timcampi flies in circles above his head. She sniffs and they sit in a silence for a moment. It isn't awkward or anything – it's comfortable.

"_I'm sorry, Allen_…"

He watches Tim for a second. "Yeah. It's…okay."

They settle into a routine they hadn't taken a part in in months. For hours, they talk on the phone, but around midnight Lenalee says, "_Oh, hold on, I just got a text_." Her voice goes distant and he hears her say, _"Oh, it's Lavi_." A pause. "_He wants to know if I can…pick up Kanda from UNO_."

"He…can't walk home?"

"_I don't know. He's too manly to say anything, but I bet it's still a bit painful to walk, even if the bone is completely healed. Hold on."_ He hears her fingers tapping away on her phone. "_I can't. Komui's working late and has the car_." A pause. "_And he obviously can't either – he's in Baton Rouge_." Another pause. A pointed one this time.

"…Don't you think that might be a bad idea?"

"_We can't just leave him there, Allen. You have to go get him."_

"I really…I don't think that's a good idea at all, Lenalee. He'll probably refuse to get in the car. He'll sit there like the stubborn arse he is until Komui gets off of work. That or try to walk home on his own and end up like, falling over or something and just lying on the ground until sunrise."

"_So you're just going to leave him…?"_

Allen runs fingers through his hair. He sighs. "Ugh, no. I can't. You know that." He looks at the clock again. 12:09. "Alright." He gets up from the bed, grabs his wallet and keys from the bedside table. "I'll call you later and let you know what kind of method he uses to maim me."

Lenalee chuckles a little. "_Be safe, Allen_."

"I promise I'll try." He tells her, ending the call and taking long strides into the living room. "I need the car," he tells Cross, who's still awake. The man is laying on the couch, watching television, and he looks over the back of the sofa with a raised eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

"Please? I need to go pick someone up."

"At midnight? I don't think so," Cross turns back to the television. "Besides, I have a chica coming over in a bit. How do you think I'll look without my Mark Four in that driveway?"

"Yes, your Supra is _so_ impressive, Godfather. I promise I won't keep her out for too long. It's just to UNO and back."

"The fuck? Then _walk_."

"I told you already, it's to pick someone up. You're the one always commenting on my frame, do you think I could actually carry someone back to their house?"

"It's that Kanda kid, isn't it?"

"Why must you assume?"

"Because. How many people do you know that go to UNO? Besides that, how many people do you know who you would go out at midnight for? I'm pretty sure that number's one."

Allen frowns. "Yes, it's Kanda. Can I please just take the car?"

"No, not for him."

"What! Why not?"

Cross turns around completely on the couch, aims narrowed eyes at him. "Are you into masochism, boy? Didn't he already break your faggoty heart?"

Allen deflates a bit. "No. He's my friend. And he needs my help."

Well, that whole 'no' thing is a bit of a lie, but that's no matter.

"Fine, whatever. Have it back by one."

_How late is this woman coming over?_

"Thank you, Godfather," Allen nods to him a bit then gets the keys to the car from the table beside the front door. He goes outside, rubs his arms from the cold night and his short sleeves, realizes he forgot to put on a long sleeve shirt and gloves – decides it's too late now and climbs into the car, backs out the drive.

He gets to UNO fairly quickly. As it's so late, there's no traffic – not on a Thursday night. Jeez. Thursday? What is he doing at UNO so late, anyway?

He very quickly realizes he doesn't know where Kanda is on campus. It's not that it's an exceedingly large area, but still, he doesn't feel like walking around and looking for the dark-haired man in the middle of the night. Not here.

He pulls into a parking lot, ready to phone Lenalee and ask her if she knows, when he sees him.

His hair is down, tucked into his scarf, and strands fall out as he dips his head and stares at the ground. He's sitting on a bench – the same bench they had sat on together so long ago, the first time Allen had offered the guy a cigarette. There's one in his mouth now, the smoke drifting up lazily into the night sky. His legs are crossed, clad in tight stonewash jeans.

Apparently roused by the new headlights, Kanda looks up. He squints past the light, and Allen turns off the headlights, then the vehicle completely.

There are lamps all around them, but Allen is still too far away to see Kanda now. He wonders if Kanda knows it's him yet. Can he recognize the black car parked? Can he even see it through the blanket of night?

He unfolds himself from the car, then bends back in and pulls a scarf from the backseat he'd placed there last time he used the vehicle. Cross must not really go into the back of the car, because Allen is starting quite a collection of shit back there.

He wraps it around his neck and that's when he realizes he should have kept the car on. For the headlights, to keep the engine warm.

But that's done with. Breath fogging out in front of him, he dips his head and stuffs his hands in the pockets of his drawstring sweatpants.

Kanda is like a frozen statue as Allen sits down next to him.

"I heard you needed a ride home." Allen starts, looking up at the stars. There's a good amount of light pollution in New Orleans, but he can still see a bit of them.

"You heard wrong. Go away."

"If I heard wrong, what are you doing out here so late at night?"

"I was at a party. I'm still at it. Go away."

"A party? Kanda, why do I doubt that?"

"Go check the KA frat-house. There's a party. Ask them if I was there. I was."

Allen brings his knees up the bench as well, rests his head on them. "Why?"

"Because I was motherfucking invited."

"You don't like parties. Kanda, you told me you hated fraternities."

"I do."

"What the hell?"

Kanda inhales around his cigarette. He smells like alcohol and cigarettes and sex and tragedy.

Allen moves to sit cross-legged. His fingers itch to play the piano suddenly.

"Went for the free booze."

"Of course," Allen sighs. "Since when have you cared so much about free alcohol?" Kanda's cigarette goes out and he pulls out another. "And back to smoking? Lenalee told me you were okay. What's going on?"

"As if I need to fucking explain myself to you." He growls, lighting the cigarette. Or at least trying. His hands are shaking. Why? He's been smoking. Allen can smell it on him. He tries at least four times before scoffing and pelting the lighter on the ground. It breaks apart, the lighter fluid in it pours out in the ground. This is when Allen sighs and gets up, goes back to the Supra and leans in. "Leaving? Thank _fucking_ God."

"No," Allen says, walking back to Kanda, holding the lighter out to him. "Here." Kanda stares at it apprehensively for a moment. "It isn't rigged to blow up or anything. Take the goddamned lighter."

He takes it from Allen's fingers, his own freezing ones touching Kanda's. He tries lighting his cigarette again, ends up actually succeeding this time. "You aren't wearing a long sleeved shirt."

"No, I'm not," Allen says stupidly. Well, of course he isn't.

"It's fucking cold. You wore those goddamned things throughout the _summer_. And you choose tonight not to?"

"Lenalee told me you needed someone to pick you up. I wasn't about to leave you. I just got my keys and came over."

"Yeah, she called me up like a little bitch earlier today, crying about you."

"Kanda!" Allen turns to him. "She's just worried for all of us, you know that."

"She's fucking blinded by her love for you. You're fucking _NOAH_." He spits out, looking at Allen. And right then, Allen feels like the scum of the earth.

But Allen stands to defend himself, nonetheless. "_You're_ a fucking idiot. Why can't you just accept my word that I'm not! And besides, if you believe that so adamantly, why would you even allow me to sit next to you?"

"What else am I supposed to do?" Kanda yells back. "You'd probably kill me without another thought!"

"Arg, sometimes, Kanda, I want to _light you on fire_, but I would never, ever, ever _hurt_ you." Allen's chest is heaving. "Seriously, after all this time, you can't understand that I _love_ your stupid, stubborn, infuriating arse?" He wants nothing more than to hit Kanda, to haul off and slap him right in his pretty face.

And he does.

Kanda leans to the side with the impact of it, presses both hands to the bench to keep himself steady.

"I came to UNO at midnight to pick you up even though you've been ignoring me for a month and a half – two months, Jesus! I would do anything for you, Kanda. And all you do is repay me with doubt and hate and – fuck, now you're leaving completely. Running _away_."

Kanda is stunned for a moment, can't seem to find the words to retort. Then his eyebrows furrow in something not anger, but rather – confusion. Allen steps back. He surveys Kanda, his posture, how he's kind of hunched over to the side, how pitiful he looks with his scarf unraveling around his neck, hair falling out.

"Running away?" Kanda asks. "That's what you think I'm doing?"

"Well, if it isn't, what _are_ you doing?"

Kanda's expression turns from confused to angry. "You're a _**fucking**_ moron." Then he stands and begins stomping away.

"Kanda, stop walking away from me! You did it once, don't you dare do it again." He's starting to freak out a little bit.

"Or what?" Kanda calls over his shoulder. "Are you going to call your _family_ on me?"

"Or else this is all over. All of it, Kanda. I won't wait for you. You will come back and be completely _alone_." He – he isn't sure of if he means that, not completely. He wants to mean it. Wants to think that, if Kanda has the capacity to walk away from him, he can walk away from Kanda.

"This has _been_ over, you fucking – _fuck_!"

Allen climbs back into the car, leans his head against the steering wheel and cries.

* * *

><p>Lavi or Lenalee (probably Lenalee) must say something to Kanda, though, because the next time they're all together (Halloween), he's there as well. He's all apprehensiveness and anger and avoidance of course, but he's there.<p>

Allen isn't really sure of how to act around him, to be honest. He obviously isn't over Kanda just yet, but he – well – he's got to act like it. Kanda has to look at him and see a confident and happy and normal Allen. Not a fucked up wreck. Not a pathetic loser. Not an angry and angsty teenager.

It's a good thing he's totally _not_ any of those things.

Halloween is actually on a Monday night, so it's more like they're together for the weekend of Halloween. Lavi has to go back up Sunday, so he's not going to be staying with them for the actual day, which is a shame, apparently, because supposedly Lavi always has the best costumes. Last year he was Speed Racer or something like that.

When he sees Lavi on Saturday, he almost feels like the guy's his normal self. He's smiling and joking and perverted and damn Allen's missed him. He almost seems like Lavi's gotten over whatever doubts he had about Allen. Still, something seems…off.

"Al!" Lavi smiles, bounding into the room. But he doesn't touch Allen. No hugs or tackles or inappropriate grazes. Kanda files in behind Lavi, arms crossed in a defensive position.

He's been at Lenalee's house since two, and it's already almost six, so they've been hanging out for a while before Kanda and Lavi show up. He, vaguely, wonders what they were doing beforehand.

"Hey, Lavi," Allen smiles.

Kanda has his ear buds in – listening to something pre-1995 no doubt. He's kind of learned that, while Kanda does indeed love Eighties music more than anything else, he's a fan of classic rock as well; Kanda is a bit closer now and Allen can hear Led Zeppelin's '_Immigrant Song'_ blaring. He introduced Allen to Zeppelin. Hearing it now doesn't help with the whole 'getting over our relationship' thing.

Komui, apparently, is still worried for his baby sister's 'purity' even though Kanda is gay, Lavi is in a relationship, and Allen is a wreck, so he sits with them as they hang out and watch TV, just like before.

About an hour later, to no one's surprise, Lavi is practically bouncing off the walls, eager for _something_ to do. So they end up going out – they all pile into Lavi's car and end up on Bourbon.

Kanda doesn't protest, and neither does he, though Allen does suspect Kanda wants to go even less than him. The funny thing is, the last time the four of them were all together on Bourbon was back in January, back in the very beginning. There's such a sense of nostalgia that Allen requests they eat in the same sports bar.

They do, and this time when Lavi orders his Miller, it's legal. He remembers leaning over the table and calling Lavi a delinquent. With everything that's happened, it seems so silly now, even though he was serious so many months ago. So many. Almost a year. He orders gumbo and etouffee and beans and rice and this time they don't give him strange looks.

When they're finished, they all pile into Lavi's car again and decide to go to Metairie's Lakefront. Compared the North shore's, the South shore's lakefront is rocky, less beachy. At least where they are. It might be more sandy on the other side of the Causeway.

Not that it matters. As it's late October, the water would be much too cold to swim in, anyhow. Leaning against a particularly large rock, Lenalee discards her overcoat and stares up at the sky. _She's so beautiful_, Allen thinks, and he remembers exactly why he liked her at first.

Then he realizes how – superficial he is and thinks about her personality, wonders if he even saw that beautiful aspect of her before. He imagines not.

He glances at Kanda, who's perched on top of a gray rock a bit off, staring across the murky water with the wind blowing through his hair. He's beautiful, too. And it definitely took a while for Allen to find the good points of him besides that raw beauty, but he did. He sees them now – the intelligent and sure eyes that caress the horizon, the passionate gaze he pours into the lake; and then some he cannot see outwardly, but he understands them to be there nonetheless.

He tears his gaze from Kanda and looks at Lavi. The red-head is just so, so goofy. So playful and full of life. He understands that Lavi's handsome as well and wonders, _wonders_ why, if he had to fall in love with one of his friends, it couldn't have been him. But the more he thinks about it, the more he rejects the thought. Being in a relationship with Lavi just serves to kind of – disgust him. Nothing against him, of course, it's just that Lavi kind of feels more like a brother than a potential love interest. Still, he kind of wishes the feelings could be reversed, if not simply because Lavi is much more forgiving and eternally less angry at the world.

The rocky soil beneath him kind of hurts his legs, but he doesn't care so much. The cooled breeze grazes his cheeks, probably flushing them a bit, and the four of them are silent for a very, very long time. It feels like hours of silence, even though it's probably only half of one. Still, half an hour of silence for Lavi is deserving of a medal.

Then Lenalee scoots down from her rock and cuddles up on Allen's left shoulder. She motions at Lavi and Kanda to join the two of them, and Lavi, for a moment, seems torn. He looks at Kanda, then at Lenalee and Allen. He blinks, then looks at the water, the rocks, the sky, the soil – then screams:

"I'm just going to stay by Yu! Wouldn't want him getting lonely!"

Lenalee frowns a bit, then nods. In the far distance, Allen can see Kanda's face set into a grimace and Allen understands. It…it's horrible, but it's like they have to choose between two friends. Allen doesn't want that. Not at all. Then he nudges Lenalee by the arm.

"Why don't you go sit with Lavi and Kanda? I'll just – I should probably get home."

She frowns. "How about we both go sit with Lavi and Kanda?"

Allen bites his lip. "I don't think so. I…" He looks to Kanda. Lavi's off prattling something to him, but his gaze is distant. He isn't listening to a word the red-head is saying, instead opting to take interest in the skyline.

Lenalee looks from him, to Kanda, and back to him again. "It's hard for you, isn't it?" She asks.

Allen sighs, but doesn't tear his gaze from the dark-haired male. "I imagine it's harder for him. I've – well, I've had a lot of time to go over this again and again in my head. Then I wonder how I would feel, if I were in his position. Betrayed and hurt and just – pained."

He feels a hand on top of his own and looks at Lenalee now. "But you must be feeling so alone."

He gives her a sad smile. "I didn't say it was easy."

He feels selfish and stupid, but he's only human and he can only feel what he feels. He feels bad for both Kanda and himself. That's the reality of it. Love is supposedly selfless, but humanity just isn't ready for complete selflessness yet. Even when two people are happy and in love and together they still have fights, still take their own sides. It is not always about the other person, though in some small way it must be. Just not entirely, he supposes.

"You know," Lenalee starts after a moment. "After you left the hospital, back in August, Marie showed up. When I pulled him to the side and asked where Chaoji was, he told me he refused to come. Wanna know why? Marie said he was angry and sad and scared – about you, mostly. I believe you, Allen, with my whole heart. I don't think you would ever hurt anyone, not intentionally. But Chaoji – he won't."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Chaoji, who didn't even know you that well, refused to see his brother at the hospital because he thought you might be there. But Kanda – Kanda who was in a relationship with you, who must feel even worse than Chaoji, will still bring himself to be by you. I think, maybe somewhere inside him, he still trusts you. He feels safe, even when you're near. Look at him over there, secluded from the world. Kanda is a very guarded person; if someone he didn't trust were near, he wouldn't be acting that way."

Allen swallows a bit and fiddles with his gloves.

"He still loves you, Allen. So don't give up."

His mouth feels so dry.

"It doesn't matter either way, Lenalee. I told him I was giving up on him. I told him I didn't care."

"But that was a lie, wasn't it?"

"Well, of course it was a lie. Of course I care. But I thought, 'If he can walk away from me, I can walk away from him,' and I want that to be true. I _want_ to give up."

"So what you're telling me is…you want to stop loving him. What if one day he comes back – wants you back?"

"I want to be able to say no. I want to be able to walk away."

"But Allen that's just cruel, both to him and you."

Allen pulls his knees to his chest. "Then I'm cruel."

"No you aren't! I'm not accepting this. You _love_ him. Love doesn't just go away. Burying it doesn't help. I don't want you giving up, Allen. Try again. Before he leaves, try again."

He looks at her, eyebrows furrowed. His heart is beating about eighty miles an hour in his chest and he wants nothing more than to hide away forever – from the conflict and the pain and the everything. It would be so much easier if he could just, be by himself.

"Tell me you'll try," she says.

He lets out a breath, feels his eyes sting with wetness, but doesn't cry. "I must be a masochist, Cross was right. I – but if he rejects me again, that's it. There's no more."

Somewhere in his heart he was hoping for this. Wanting a reason to try again. He's a coward like that.

He imagines that will never change.

* * *

><p>Thanksgiving is – well, it's okay. It's kind of like everyone gets together; Cross, Komui, Lenalee, Lavi, Miranda, Kanda, Marie, Chaoji and – him. They all sit at this gigantic table in Komui's dining room and the only ones not in a generally good mood are Kanda (because he is never in a good mood…), Chaoji (because…well because), and Lenalee (Komui absolutely refused to let Reever come).<p>

Allen is mostly excited for the food.

He goes to sit down in a chair at the far right, and it ends up that Kanda is on the complete opposite side of the table. He imagines how it might have been if they were still together, if they could sit next to each other and Allen could hold his hand as he dug into turkey and mashed potatoes and whatever else people ate at Thanksgiving. He doesn't really know – has only heard about the legendary meals – _buffets_.

He imagines they would eat together and laugh and go home and Kanda would kiss him sweetly on the lips and –

This train of thought, a train of thought he has more often than he'd like, is going to kill him one day.

So he instead focuses on Lenalee, on the fact that she does love him and trust him; that Komui and Cross and Miranda and Marie and maybe Lavi a little bit do as well. He's completely given up on Chaoji. And Kanda…? Well, it's obvious Kanda doesn't trust him one hundred percent, but there has to be something there. Has to be. Allen needs there to be. _Something_.

Goddammit he's doing it again. Already.

Komui and Lenalee lay the food out on the table then.

It's turkey and cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes and peas and corn and carrots and stuffing and pumpkin pie and pecan pie and _heaven_.

The onslaught of food makes him forget his troubles as he piles plate after plate of food into his mouth. The only one still remotely disgusted in Chaoji, but probably because the guy seems to have a stick up his ass when it comes to Allen. For a lot of reasons, apparently. Allen doesn't want him to, wants to have everything cleared up, but he can't help it if the guy doesn't trust him. If he could help that, Kanda would be with him again.

_How am I going to try again? When am I going to try again?_

The thought plagues him for the rest of the day – rest of the week, rest of the month.

It's still plaguing him mid-December.

* * *

><p><strong>*le sigh* Allen. Why have I made you such a pussy? You're even worse in the next chapter with that shit. BE HEROIC AND EPIC AND SHIT AGAIN. I am not taking any or your shit in the sequel - so man up! <strong>

**Also, I lol at how you guys get SO into and takes side and such. It makes me all happyface that it's THAT intriguing, even though RB is kind of - well - not my life anymore. Yullen is, but RB isn't, which is a problem because *Promises*. I need THAT to be my new life and it hasn't happened for me yet. I'm kind of all over the place with fics. For instance, in RB's stead, until Christmas when I start Promises (and perhaps after if it grows to that) I will be uploading another Yullen fic, just to tide you guys over. It's not related to RB or Promises though; it's very...Fast and the Furious. AND I AM NOT ASHAMED ABOUT THAT. COME AT ME BROS. LAMBORGHINI'S ARE THE FUCKING SHIT AND I WANT TO OWN ONE ALMOST AS MUCH AS I WANT TO OWN KANDA. I'm also not ashamed about that. You know, the 'I want to own a 180k as much as a fictional character' bit. Totally normal. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Enjoy.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eighteen<strong>

As it gets colder and colder, Allen realizes that back in January he was thinking Louisiana was relatively warm compared to London; it is, really, but he's been here so long his body's gotten used to the warmth and now that it's a bit colder, it feels insanely cold. It's only about thirty-five degrees Fahrenheit outside (America's even got him using their bloody system…) but he has his sweater with an overcoat of medium thickness on.

He feels weird, as it's a week and a half before his birthday. Mainly because, well, eighteen feels like it should be a bigger step than he's treating it. Eighteen makes him a legal adult. Eighteen gives him the right to vote (not that he really has any desire to vote for anything in America) and he can go buy Cross's cigarettes (Which really, he has his ways to get them anyway, regardless of if it's entirely legal or not) and – well, that's about it. So maybe it isn't that big of a deal to him for good reason, but it _feels_ like it should be.

He's more excited, really, that the day before his birthday they're going to Celebration in the Oaks; it's gonna be him and Lenalee and Lavi and (by association) Kanda. He's never been to it (or City Park at all, really), but Lenalee and Lavi go on and on about it. There are lights and all kinds of foods and festive moods. It seems like it's going to be a lot of fun.

But that's in a whole week and a half, and even though everyone is home and they hang out together a lot, they all have jobs, so they can't hang out as much as they did before.

* * *

><p>When he wakes up Christmas Eve, he finds himself in one of the best moods he's been in in a while. It's one of those 'content to be alive' moods, where he feels most alive and happiest about it. He hasn't felt this way since – probably July. He'd been taking the mornings for granted, waking up in Kanda's arms and having everything just feel right and nice; hot too, because the man is a damn heater all his own, but still nice.<p>

He slaps a hand to his face. That is certainly not the right train of thought for a good morning. But he's excited, he supposes, because he's going to Celebration in the Oaks with everyone. He's never been anywhere like they described, so festive and fun. There's a carousel, and choirs, and little cafes. It's going to be a lot of fun. And Kanda's going to be there, which is an added bonus. If everything goes well, tonight'll be the end of all this shit between them. He doubts everything will go back to the way it was, but if some part of it could be rectified…?

Since the park doesn't even open until six, he has plenty of time to kill. The best and fastest way to do that, he figures, is to sleep. So that's what he does. Around noon he turns off his light, sets his alarm for four-thirty, and closes his eyes. Perhaps out of sheer willpower, he falls asleep in minutes. Or perhaps he's just exhausted. It's not like he's really been doing a lot besides practicing piano – but he's been practicing a lot. Apparently NOCCA isn't a pushover school.

He wakes up all of about three minutes before his alarm goes off. Groaning, he blearily turns off the alarm before plopping back down into bed and sighing. It's so nice and warm under these blankets; he doesn't wanna move. He has to, he realizes; he's so slow moving nowadays. If he doesn't start getting ready now, he'll never be done in time.

Lavi, Lenalee, and Kanda are all coming in Lavi's car, apparently, so he just has to meet them at the park for six-thirty. He already made plans with Cross to take the Supra, so his godfather knows, and hopefully will remember, that he has the car for the night.

He climbs in the shower – a cold one because he can't seem to get through one REM cycle without dreaming of Kanda (a stupid notion, he realizes; it's just that the only ones he ever _remembers_ are with Kanda) – and takes his time. He does have a good hour and a half before he has to leave. He also wants his hair to be completely dry before going out, however, so he doesn't take too long.

He dresses simply – in jeans with a long sleeve shirt, cardigan, and has his heavy jacket hanging on the chair by his desk. Tim flutters around in his cage and, realizing he hasn't spent much time with the finch, lets him loose to fly around the room. The bird flaps around happily, finally landing in Allen's still drying hair and chirping a short song.

At five-thirty, he brushes out his hair – it's still slightly damp, so it listens to his comb quite nicely – and plays around with his phone a bit. He leaves five minutes to six.

The traffic is kind of horrible, but he's driven through worse. He gets to the park about ten minutes early, and sits around on the inside on a bench and waits. The three arrive about ten minutes _late_, but as soon as he sees them, he jumps up from the bench and beams at them.

"Allen!" Lenalee exclaims, laughing and jumping into a tight hug.

"Hey, Al," Lavi waves, smiling.

Kanda is there, but as Allen surmised, doesn't make any move to greet him. And Allen lets it be, just sends him a smile and lets Lenalee link arms with him. Ever since he and Kanda…separated, there's been an unspoken rule – Lenalee doesn't bring Reever around and Lavi doesn't bring Miranda when they're doing something with all four of them. He isn't sure of whose benefit it's for, but he guesses they're doing it for him. He doesn't particularly care either way if Reever and Miranda are there, in fact, he enjoys their company, but he gets why Lavi and Lenalee do it. And in the end he supposes he's really grateful for it.

With that, they head off into the park.

* * *

><p>After they've finished everything, and they're just walking around, Allen realizes they're probably going to leave soon. And this would be it. The last time. He probably wouldn't see Kanda again in months. They would split up here, Kanda would go to his house and pack, then go to the Armstrong International Airport, and be…gone. Lenalee's been giving him these looks all night. Looks that scream her incredulity at him being so weak. Or at least, that's how he interprets them – because he feels weak. He feels like he can't do anything. Like he's just standing there, alive but not even remotely <em>living<em>. So he should change that, right? Do something about it?

Kanda is only a few steps in front of him, scarf wrapped tight around his neck, hands shoved deep in the pockets of his pea coat. He's kind of – hunched forward and speed walking, like he's on some mission to get to the entrance of the park and leave eternally. Which, well, he probably is. That's just like Kanda, to try and escape from social situations early.

He can't let that happen, though, so he gives Lenalee a look, who promptly says, "Oh, Lavi – let's go ride the carousel again!"

Lavi's exuberant, "Yeah!" is not altogether surprising.

Kanda turns quickly on his heel, letting out a sound of frustration. He obviously wanted to leave now, and there's no way he can do that without Lavi and Lenalee. But now he looks at Allen, eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched in distaste. Is he…disgusted by Allen? That doesn't even make sense. Well, it _does_, but not anymore. Not when they've known each other for a year.

"While they're in the carousel, do you wanna go get something hot?" Allen asks. Kanda gives him a one-over, then shrugs. He mutters something, but Allen can't really hear him. So they walk to this little, nearby café. Checking his phone, Allen sees that it's only a little bit past eight, and that they've really only been here an hour and a half – seems like longer.

As he thought, not many people are in the café. A few, yes, but the fact that it's Christmas Eve and most people want to spend it with their families, Allen and Kanda have a gracious kind of privacy they wouldn't otherwise have. Together, they go up to the counter, and Allen leans over it a bit, using it to support his weight and get it off his feet. A pretty barista smiles at them and walks over. "Can I help you two?"

"Yes," Allen smiles. "I'd like a – um – hmmm, what do you recommend?" Behind him, Kanda snorts in derision and Allen rolls his eyes, but doesn't say anything.

"Well," she starts. "I'm rather fond of the hot chocolate."

"Then a hot chocolate!" Allen tells her, then he turns to Kanda. "What do you want?"

He looks up at the menu, briefly, then says, "Black tea." She nods to him, and Kanda shoves Allen to the side, says, "Go get a fucking seat."

"Um, no," Allen replies, quite simply. "These are my treat, you go sit down." Kanda shoots him a look, then scoffs harshly and walks away. The barista comes back, and he pays. She gives him a bright smile, then looks over at Kanda and gives him one as well.

When she comes back with the mugs, she says, "Have a merry Christmas," quite warmly. "I hope it goes well for you."

"Happy Christmas to you as well," Allen smiles, taking the mugs. Then, almost belatedly, wonders what she hopes goes well. Is she psychic or something?

Kanda chose a small, circular table towards the back, fairly far away from the other two patrons of the café, and slowly, Allen makes his way towards it. He really hopes this isn't going to get too awkward, that everything will go smoothly. The way he wants it to go. Which, in his mind, means the night will end with them together again – something tells him that's not going to work out, however.

He sets Kanda's tea down in front of him and sits in the other, white chair. Their knees bump together, and the contact – the first real contact they've had in a while – sends shivers down his spine. Kanda sips at the tea lightly, looking outside, and well, Allen didn't really think that he'd be the first to start up conversation, but he doesn't have to look so…apathetic. He can at least pretend to care that this might be the last time they'll see each other in five or six months.

"So," Allen starts, and Kanda turns to him and raises an eyebrow. "How are you?"

Kanda sneers at him a bit. "You act as though we haven't been together half the day."

"You know what I mean – overall. How are you?"

The dark haired man frowns at him, deeply. "What does it matter to you?"

Allen's a bit taken aback; Kanda didn't reply with a one word answer. "Because I like knowing how you're doing? I don't know."

"I'm fine," he grumbles.

"Why are you lying?"

"I'm not."

"Yes you are. Kanda, we were together fo-"

"That's right. We _were_ together. We aren't now. Why must you fucking harp on this?"

"Because it never _should_ have ended!" Allen snaps, louder than he meant to. He looks around, and notices everyone pointedly not paying attention to them, which he's grateful for. Kanda purses his lips in distaste and Allen continues with, "I still want to be with you."

"I don't give a shit what you want."

"That isn't fair, Kanda, and you know it. What you did wasn't fair. You know – you have to know – that I'm no part of NOAH." He kind of – well he's conveniently leaving out that he kind of is, but not because he wants to be. And the fact that in a years' time they'll be back and – holy shit what is he going to do about that? He shakes his head, trying to loosen the thoughts from his mind. He doesn't need to think about that right now. Only Kanda. "You can't tell me that everything ended for you."

"I thought you said you were going to be over me – that you weren't going to wait."

"I'm doing what I can!" Allen yells, and he doesn't care anymore. "I'm tired of this, Kanda. I just want you to forgive me. I'm not that strong; I can't just leave it all behind."

Kanda's eyebrows pull together, in either confusion or agitation or both. "I'm leaving. You better learn to leave it behind."

"I know you're leaving. I know," Allen calms down a bit and looks at the table, dejected. "But I can't. I know I said those things, but I never meant them. I was just saying them so you wouldn't leave and it didn't work." He reaches his hands across the table and puts them over Kanda's. The man visibly flinches, but otherwise doesn't pull away. "I love you."

Kanda scoffs and turns away. "You're an idiot."

"I know."

"I don't forgive you."

Allen doesn't know what to say to that, so he sighs and settles with, "I'll just keep trying until you do."

This is it. He has to try. Right now. He can't leave it open like this. Kanda has to understand – he has to. If he doesn't…

Allen bites his bottom lip, then leans over the table and presses his lips to Kanda's lightly. The dark haired man freezes, stiff as a board, and Allen kisses him a bit more deeply, wants him to feel what he feels. Kanda doesn't push him away, just kind of sits there and relaxes a bit as the milliseconds wear on. As Allen's about to pull away, he maybe feels Kanda's lips move against his, but he's already moving away. His jacket sleeve, however, catches on Kanda's tea and in a feeble attempt to keep it from tipping over, he maneuvers forward and the entire mug ends up on Kanda's front anyhow.

With a loud scoff, Kanda stands up quickly. "Are you okay?" Allen asks quickly.

"Arg – that's fucking hot!" he shrugs off his jacket then mutters a few curses and stomps off towards the bathrooms.

"That…probably didn't help my case…" Allen frowns, running after him. He pushes the door open and looks around, finds Kanda by the sink, shirt off and skin a blotchy red. The dark haired man is probably really wishing his coat had been buttoned up now.

"What the fuck do you want?" Kanda grumbles, dabbing at his stomach with a wet towel. He grimaces deeply and doesn't take his eyes off the mirror.

"I'm sorry. It was an accident."

"Whatever," Kanda retorts, voice muted but still angry.

"…Did you…"

"Shut up."

"But Kanda…"

"Shut up, okay? Just go away."

Allen pauses, then remembers something. "Hold on, I'll be right back."

"Whatever," Kanda scoffs. He doesn't seem too keen on holding an actual conversation anyhow. Sprinting from the bathroom, Allen leaves the café altogether and fights against the biting cold to get to the car. He unlocks it and buries himself in the backseat, pulls out a sweatshirt and an ice pack. He didn't really think he would ever need such a thing in the winter, but now he's grateful for the fact that he kind of hoards shit back there.

After he gets back through the gates, he makes a beeline for the café again and barrels into the bathroom, holding both the sweatshirt and the ice pack out at arm's length. He's panting, rather heavily, and Kanda's looking at him as if he's crazy.

"Your shirt is going to be soaked through. Wear this."

"I don't fit in boys medium," Kanda snarls, folding his arms and leaning against the wall, shirtless. That's probably so unsanitary.

"Come on. It's just a regular medium. Put it on."

Grumbling, Kanda takes it from him, frowning, and slips it on. It's not baggy on him like it is on Allen, but it fits well. He zips it up and straightens his sleeve before grabbing his discarded shirt and storming out the bathroom.

Allen follows close behind. He watches as Kanda flops down into the seat he'd been in before and sits down across from him. He's rather surprised the dark-haired man isn't just storming out and leaving, but he doesn't comment on it. Instead, he says, "Do you want me to buy you another tea?"

"No, you'll just spill that on me too. I like my skin without the third degree burns."

"You're over-exaggerating," Allen mumbles, rolling his eyes. What a drama queen.

Kanda snorts and looks out the window. He's silent for a few moments before commenting, "It's snowing."

Turning in his chair, Allen looks outside the window as well. It is snowing, not that he figured Kanda was lying, but it feels – well like a miracle, really. From what he's gathered, it doesn't often snow in New Orleans, and he hasn't seen the stuff since last Christmas in England. It's beautiful, coating the hard ground lightly and illuminated by the lampposts.

The silence that falls over them is awkward – not comfortable like they used to be, but filled with unsaid words that neither of them really want to hear. But Allen figures that if they just sit here ignoring each other, nothing will ever get done.

"I know you don't like talking…or listening for that matter, but before you – before you leave I want you to _understand_ that I am not NOAH, that I would never hurt you or anyone you care about. And I get the feeling that you do, that deep down you believe me, but you just won't accept it."

"Why do you even care so much?" Kanda sneers. "Yeah, sure, you love me or whatever, but why does it matter if I'm leaving anyway?"

"It's not _obvious_? I told you, I still want a relationship between us."

Kanda coughs a bit, similar to his one of laughter, but closer to one of awkwardness and disbelief. "You can't be serious. I told you this was over."

"I don't care. You can tell me a million times, but you and I both know how stubborn I can be."

"If you wanna stay dead-set on me and get your heart broken, then whatever," Kanda growls, standing from his chair and stomping off.

Allen stays there for a minute, staring out of the window, watching the light bits of snow fall. He kind of figured it would end up like this. He might be stubborn, but he's not stupid. Kanda's been like this. He runs away. He's always run away; and maybe Allen isn't being totally fair to him, but he feels like he has a bit of a right to be selfish after everything he's gone through. It sounds horrible, but it's true, he does feel that way.

The waitress comes up to him then, and sets another warm hot chocolate on the table. "It's on the house," She tells him, giving him a warm expression and walking away. How kind of her.

Sipping the hot drink, he stares at a spot on the table and lets his mind wander a bit. What if Kanda's completely serious and never takes him back? He supposes it won't be the end of the world, but it won't be very pleasant either. Even if he keeps persisting, if he keeps on fighting for Kanda, the dark-haired man can be just as stubborn (if not more so) than he is. So what does he do then? Does he heed Kanda's (and kind of his own) advice and just give up? He doesn't want to do that. He's thought about it, and it doesn't seem right, but in the end, what other choice will he have? He can't win Kanda back through sheer will power. He isn't going to just return because Allen wants him to.

Why can't anything ever be simple?

When he finishes his hot chocolate, he brings the mugs back to the waitress at the counter and leaves. Lavi and Lenalee are leaning against the building housing the carousel and talking with Kanda. Lenalee looks rather animated, but Lavi and Kanda just look bored. And Lavi being bored is something one doesn't see every day, so whatever Lenalee's nagging them about has probably been said about thirty other times today.

He walks up to them, and Lenalee shuts up immediately, which seems really suspicious and gives him a bad feeling.

"So, Allen…you turn eighteen at midnight!" Lavi exclaims, looking grateful for the change of topic from whatever it was before. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, fantastic," he says, sarcastically. It's not like Lavi could ever know what's actually troubling him, though, so he amends his statement with, "It's not really that big of a deal to me. It's not like I'm going to be doing anything I couldn't do before."

"How _not_ scandalous…" Lavi groans. "No late night clubbing? You can do that at eighteen in some clubs. No – um…voting for the American President? That is such a fetch thing to do!"

"Did you just use the word 'fetch?'" Allen asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Better question," Lenalee starts. "Did you just use a Mean Girls reference?"

"I may have. I vote Kanda as Regina George."

"I agree, but then that makes you Gretchen Wieners and I really feel you're more of a Karen Smith." Lenalee says, tapping a finger to her chin. "I call Gretchen Wieners."

"So the whore no one likes."

"No, that's still Karen."

"Wait, wait, wait – doesn't this make me Lindsay Lohan's character?" Allen interjects, waving his arms.

"Yeah, the exotic new kid from overseas. And her name was Cady." Lavi informs him matter-of-factly.

"You're all a bunch of fucking idiots." Kanda puts in. Together, they start walking towards the exit.

"I actually believe the line is 'Get in loser, we're going shopping.' Or, something about fugly sluts."

"I'm sorry…fugly?" Allen asks.

"You know, fucking ugly. Fugly. Have you never seen that movie?" Lavi returns, incredulous.

"Maybe once, forever ago…"

"But it's so good!"

"Can you shut up now? Stupid fucking red head…" Kanda grumbles, stomping now more than walking. Allen lets out a sigh and watches as Lavi tries (and fails) to bring Kanda into the conversation. It's as if he doesn't realize how stubborn Kanda is, and how much he probably _doesn't_ care about the film. Perhaps he underestimates Kanda's apathy.

They leave the park; since Allen drove the Supra and Lavi drove his separate car, they have two vehicles, going in two different directions. It wasn't a big deal before because Kanda was over by Lavi's, but now that they're all going home, and Allen lives _much_ closer to Kanda than Lavi does, they have a bit of a dilemma. Allen doesn't have a problem with driving Kanda home, but he figures Kanda would. From what he's gathered tonight, Kanda isn't keen on them getting back together – the kiss was just a natural reaction.

But Kanda doesn't say a word, just swings the door open harshly, then climbs into the passenger seat of his car, slamming it shut once he does. Lavi and Lenalee both give him sympathetic looks.

"I tried," Allen shrugs a bit and Lenalee hugs him tightly.

"It'll work out eventually. It always does. Don't you remember I told you that? When you called me up on the phone freaking out because you just realized you liked him?" She laughs a bit, and Allen smiles.

"I remember."

"Bye, little man," Lavi says once Lenalee lets him go. The red-head envelops him in a tight embrace as well, and Allen grumbles before lightly returning it. When the two are gone, Allen climbs into the car, starting it.

"About damn time," Kanda growls. "It's fucking cold."

"Just because you're adversative to social interactions, it doesn't mean everyone is."

"I'm not adverse to it; I just think it's fucking stupid."

"Right," Allen rolls his eyes, backing out of the parking spot and driving back towards their home. It's silent – the only source of noise is low music and the road beneath them. Snow hits the windshield in light waves and Allen turns on his windshield wipers, frowning a bit because even though it's not a snow storm or anything, it's kind of aggravating when he's trying to drive.

"I never thought I'd see snow in fucking New Orleans again," Kanda says, voice low and gruff.

Allen furrows his eyebrows, but keeps his eyes on the road in front of him. Is Kanda trying to start conversation or something? "I didn't know it ever snowed here," Allen laughs a bit, trying to break apart the tension in his own chest, not just the surrounding one of the car. "When I first came here, I felt like it was some kind of subtropical hell with the kind of weather we have."

He isn't watching, but he's sure Kanda rolls his eyes. "Idiot."

"To my defense, I'd never been somewhere so humid. India was much hotter, but it wasn't near as humid where we were. It never snowed there, anyhow. Of course, I only stayed there a few months. Not as long as I've been here." He pauses. "Come to think of it, I've never stayed anywhere as long as here, not except for England."

Kanda snorts, "Why _are_ you still here?"

Allen frowns, looks over at Kanda then shrugs. "I go wherever Cross goes, mostly. Wherever he takes me, to be more accurate. That he's stayed in New Orleans so long is kind of a miracle. He must like it here." Silence settles in again and Allen adds, "I wouldn't leave now anyway. I'll be eighteen tomorrow and he can't drag me around anymore. Not legally anyway; I'm sure he'll still try. But I can't leave you guys."

A scoff this time. "Why the fuck do you do that? You're so goddamn dependent on others."

"I just _cherish_ others." Allen interjects, correcting him. "I've never had friends like the three of you. I've never had anyone like you three, actually. Except for Mana and Uncle Neah, I suppose – but no one else has ever cared about me."

"You underestimate that Cross guy," Kanda frowns, stretching a bit in the confines of the passenger seat.

Allen sighs. "It's hard to decide what his priorities are. Sometimes I get that – glimpses of perhaps something like affection or caring, but it's always gone as quickly as it comes." Not wanting to let the conversation drop, realizing this is probably one of the last times they'll talk for a few months, he says, "If none of this…NOAH business had started…would you have still gone to Japan?"

Kanda is silent for a moment, then, "Yes."

"Why?"

"I want to."

"But why?"

Kanda looks at him. "Why not?"

Allen is kind of…stumped at that. Why not, really? "You have us."

"Fuck you. Relationships are temperamental. I'd rather do what I want to do."

"That sounds so childish," Allen says, not able to decide between amusement and slight offense. "Relationships don't have to be temperamental. Ever thought it's up to you what happens and what doesn't happen?"

"Sometimes," Kanda replies simply, and Allen figures Kanda took it in a totally different manner than he meant. Judging by his reaction, Allen supposes he did. "But if it's just up to us as individuals, why aren't we together? You have it your way, we'd be together. It's not just one side."

Kanda is right, but, "But see," he smirks. "Because you don't want us to be together, we aren't. So that's up to you, isn't it?"

"Whatever. You're an idiot. Relationships are temperamental because they do require two parties with sometimes differing opinions. So just shut up."

Allen shakes his head, and they're quiet for the rest of the ride home. When they pull up to Kanda's house, however, Allen stops him from getting out the car. He holds onto Kanda's arm and the man growls before turning in his seat to look at Allen expectantly.

"I have one more question. You said you were always going to go to Japan. Were you going to break up with me before as well?"

Kanda lets out a harsh noise and looks at the center console. "Probably. If you didn't notice, things weren't the same."

"That wasn't just because you were suspicious of me? Because of Daisya and everything? We were fine."

"Are you trying to blame this on the _NOAH_, on _Daisya_? Because-"

"No! Of course not! I just want to know if you really didn-don't love me anymore."

A long, harsh sigh. "What the fuck do you want from me? I don't love you. That's all that matters. What good does it do to talk in hypotheticals?"

"You're the scientist, not me."

"We form hypotheses before the fact, not after."

Allen sighs, realizes his hand is on Kanda's arm still, and musters courage to say what he's going to say next – something that's probably going to end horribly and leave him totally upset. But he goes for it anyway, "Um. Before you go, will you…just one more time…kiss me?" Kanda looks at him as if he's crazy and Allen adds, "You can say no."

"I can obviously say no," Kanda rolls his eyes. "Why?"

"Why not?" Kanda looks to the side, visibly uncomfortable and Allen resists the urge to throw up his hands in exasperation. "Oh, just go. We're wasting gas sitting here." Allen frowns and looks straight ahead, watches as the windshield wipers angrily swipe back and forth. With a sigh, he turns them off. The snow isn't so bad so that he couldn't get home without them.

"Close your eyes," Kanda demands out of nowhere, and then Allen is tugged to him. Shocked, but not altogether unsatisfied, Allen relents, closing his eyes and reveling in the feeling and taste of Kanda as the older man closes the distance between them and kisses him. It's not the same as when Kanda used to kiss him, no, but it's not bad. It doesn't feel completely like Kanda is just doing it for Allen's sake, but it doesn't feel like it's completely sexual, either. It's just a kiss.

Sated, Allen leans back, eyelids heavy, and Kanda growls before dragging him in for another kiss, this one much more hurried and perhaps a bit more sexual. Groaning, Allen climbs over into the passenger seat and straddles Kanda's hips, kisses him as much as he can because this is all he's going to get. Kanda is leaving, going halfway around the globe, so he needs to drink as much of the dark-haired man in as he can. When they break apart, breathing harshly, Allen very quickly realizes where this is all heading. But – he doesn't want that. Doesn't want to just be fucked and then left. He'd feel even worse than he already does.

So he kisses Kanda one more time, slowly, passionately, before climbing back into the driver's seat. Kanda looks over at him, perhaps a bit of frustration in those dark eyes, then climbs out and slams the door shut before walking up to his door. He turns when he's there, looks back at Allen in the Supra and seems to relax a bit.

He smiles, then walks inside his house.

THE END

* * *

><p><strong>TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLO.<strong>

**Oh man, how much do you guys hate me for that ending? On a scale of 'I want to have your babies I love you so much,' to 'I hope you die in a fire.' Probably somewhere around, 'fall in a pit of needles' I guess. And that's fair XD I would hate myself too. **

**But it's not over! 'Promises' starts up December 25th! Which seems like a long ways away, but it's only 39 days, 6 hours, and 17 minutes as of right now. Which, okay that does seem kinda far away, but I will be updating other random shit in the meantime, so put me on author alert or just check back periodically when you're bored. You'll most likely see something new each time. X) **

**Goodbye, loves, but not for long!**

**(I am SO sad right now for some reason...)**


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